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(Mirror.co.uk)   Lightning strikes church. Eight dead, several more injured, many enlightened   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 48
    More: Scary, Malawi, Heavy Rain, lightning, Lilongwe  
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3431 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2013 at 10:44 AM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-30 09:11:45 AM  
It's a sign o' the times.
 
2013-12-30 09:16:51 AM  
Lightning rods, how do they work?
 
2013-12-30 10:15:36 AM  
You. Light up my life. You give me hope, you fry my brains.
 
2013-12-30 10:44:49 AM  
But how many Resistance?
 
2013-12-30 10:44:53 AM  
i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-12-30 10:45:21 AM  
Wasn't it lightning that got touchdown Jesus, too?
 
2013-12-30 10:46:18 AM  
Shocking...
 
2013-12-30 10:48:03 AM  
Careful what you pray for.
 
2013-12-30 10:48:56 AM  
This is what GOD wanted.
 
2013-12-30 10:50:06 AM  
/grumpycatgood.jpg
 
2013-12-30 10:52:01 AM  
Been there.  Done that.  On a Good Friday evening service, no less.  Kind of drove the "he gave up his spirit" verse home.

Of course, we were in a modern building in the US and not a thatched hut in the middle of nowhere.
 
GBB
2013-12-30 10:57:04 AM  
I say it's Gozer.
 
2013-12-30 10:57:16 AM  
Zeus hath spoken.
 
2013-12-30 10:58:08 AM  
i560.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-30 10:58:39 AM  
God: "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG"
 
2013-12-30 11:00:06 AM  
Your prayers to zombie jeebus make Thor angry
 
2013-12-30 11:04:08 AM  
I always find these stories to be even more sad than when other buildings are struck by lightening.
Presumaly, every person in a church assumes that they are in the safest place on Earth, only to be proved wrong in a most horrific way.

I wonder what those people think afterward, assuming they survive.
 
2013-12-30 11:09:45 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Wasn't it lightning that got touchdown Jesus, too?


Yes, but new and improved Exaggerating Fisherman Jesus won't go down the same way. Has lightning rods.

imageshack.com
 
2013-12-30 11:16:14 AM  
I just drove by a billboard from the Seventh Day Adventists denouncing Sunday worship as a product of the Antichrist. No thunderstorms in the area lately, but I'll keep an eye on it.
 
2013-12-30 11:18:26 AM  

Nick Nostril: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Wasn't it lightning that got touchdown Jesus, too?

Yes, but new and improved Exaggerating Fisherman Jesus won't go down the same way. Has lightning rods.

[imageshack.com image 600x450]


 A tornado will take him out this spring.
 
2013-12-30 11:26:17 AM  

durbnpoisn: I always find these stories to be even more sad than when other buildings are struck by lightening [sic].
Presumaly, every person in a church assumes that they are in the safest place on Earth, only to be proved wrong in a most horrific way.

I wonder what those people think afterward, assuming they survive.


If they were thinking, they wouldn't be in a church.
 
2013-12-30 11:28:32 AM  
"If lightning is the anger of the gods, then the gods are angry mostly at trees" -- Anonymous
 
2013-12-30 11:30:29 AM  
They were bothering God, with their "extended prayer session", while he was trying to watch Sunday games.  Who can blame him.  I felt that way myself, after the wife asked, for the 37th time this season, "Touchback?  Does that mean they get the ball at the 20?" or "Is it legal for him to catch the ball, while he laying on the ground?" or "When you say, "It's win or go home", does that mean if they lose they won't be in the playoffs?" or.....
 
2013-12-30 11:33:36 AM  

Nick Nostril: Exaggerating Fisherman Jesus


As to the quality of the sculpture of that lame statue - it should look better using this contraption:
www.entertainmentearth.com
 
2013-12-30 11:39:27 AM  
The rapture has begun. Unfortunately, it's not the gentle floating up to heaven portrayed in the Simpsons.

Who knew god was going to use lightning? Clever guy. Well played, sir.

/no fear of being struck by lightning
//going to hell if there is one
 
2013-12-30 11:41:42 AM  
I saw a rainbow today, Thor must be coming for a visit.
 
2013-12-30 11:42:00 AM  

Kibbles: The third rapture has begun. Unfortunately, it's not the gentle floating up to heaven portrayed in the Simpsons.

Who knew god was going to use lightning? Clever guy. Well played, sir.

/no fear of being struck by lightning
//going to hell if there is one


FTFY
 
2013-12-30 11:52:27 AM  
This is why you should worship Orlanth.
 
2013-12-30 12:00:44 PM  

quatchi: Lightning rods, how do they work?


Perhaps the lower-case T shape they've been using needs improvement.
 
2013-12-30 12:00:58 PM  
Was really hoping for Westboro Baptist. Well can't have every thing.
 
2013-12-30 12:13:10 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

I miss creepy Burger King
 
2013-12-30 12:18:20 PM  
Was it a homosexual church? Because, as I understand it, that's the only reason god does anything bad to people....
 
2013-12-30 12:40:28 PM  

Inflatable Rhetoric: durbnpoisn: I always find these stories to be even more sad than when other buildings are struck by lightening [sic].
Presumaly, every person in a church assumes that they are in the safest place on Earth, only to be proved wrong in a most horrific way.

I wonder what those people think afterward, assuming they survive.

If they were thinking, they wouldn't be in a church.


I suppose that's partly what I was getting at.
These people actually think that God has some sort of plan.  And anything that happens, no matter how farked up, is part of it.  Rather than taking the obvious fact into account that lightening has a will of it's own, governed only by basic physics, they choose the believe that God meant for it to strike right there, at that very spot.  Then they will go on to believe that it's part of his grand plan.

If it were me, and I were to be believing like that to start with, I would immediately change my mind about the whole thing, at least as to say, "why am I worshipping this jerk?!"
 
2013-12-30 12:43:46 PM  
"The only church which illuminates is a burning church."
 
2013-12-30 12:46:41 PM  
Maybe instead of being enlightened they should have joined the resistance.

But it seems being a resistor would have been... futile.

img.fark.net
 
2013-12-30 12:47:10 PM  

SecretAgentWoman: [i2.kym-cdn.com image 600x412]


I know, I know... but I find that absolutely hilarious.
 
2013-12-30 12:47:52 PM  
Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ....I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!!!

oneguyrambling.com
 
2013-12-30 12:55:49 PM  

Nick Nostril: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Wasn't it lightning that got touchdown Jesus, too?

Yes, but new and improved Exaggerating Fisherman Jesus won't go down the same way. Has lightning rods.

[imageshack.com image 600x450]



What an interesting statue -- he's overweight and rocking a mullet. I wonder what the typical congregation member looks like...
 
2013-12-30 12:59:12 PM  

jfarkinB: I just drove by a billboard from the Seventh Day Adventists denouncing Sunday worship as a product of the Antichrist. No thunderstorms in the area lately, but I'll keep an eye on it.


Origins of the church in question

i44.tinypic.com
 
2013-12-30 01:00:43 PM  

quatchi: Lightning rods, how do they work?


The earliest example of Science 1, Prayer 0 as a way of controlling the world?

Was there anything before that?
 
2013-12-30 01:36:11 PM  
www.myconfinedspace.com
 
2013-12-30 02:45:30 PM  
ka1axy - cannot BELIEVE it took that long!  What has happened to FARK?  "We're putting the band BACK TOGETHER again!"
 
2013-12-30 04:26:55 PM  
sexysassysorted.com

So close.......
 
2013-12-30 04:33:21 PM  
Uncle Tractor

OMG OGLAF LOL.
 
2013-12-30 05:14:40 PM  

DupeOfURL: ka1axy - cannot BELIEVE it took that long!  What has happened to FARK?  "We're putting the band BACK TOGETHER again!"


 Yeah -- standards are down all around.  I'd expected better.  Maybe the first string is hung over?
 
2013-12-30 05:23:03 PM  

Kibbles: The rapture has begun. Unfortunately, it's not the gentle floating up to heaven portrayed in the Simpsons.

Who knew god was going to use lightning? Clever guy. Well played, sir.

/no fear of being struck by lightning
//going to hell if there is one



Zeus
Thor

To name a couple.
 
2013-12-30 08:04:16 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-30 08:43:29 PM  
I was raised in that church. They are pretty whacked. They are completely obsessed with the notion that going to church on Saturday rather than Sunday makes them God's chosen people. Sunday worship is the mark of the beast, and the US is going to pass a law any minute requiring everyone to worship on Sunday, at which time the Adventists will stand their ground and become martyrs for the cause. Shortly after that Jeebus willl come.
 
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