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(Daily Mail)   When performing a circumcision, the most important thing to do is not cut off the baby's penis   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 185
    More: Obvious, Jewish, Jewish laws, Squirrel Hill, Orthodox Jewish  
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6266 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2013 at 10:43 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



185 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-30 09:01:52 AM  
One more 2050 Ferrari sold!
 
2013-12-30 09:13:57 AM  
Should have gone with the Royal Deluxe II.

hotoffpress.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-30 09:27:18 AM  
An important preventative step is not hiring Mr. Magoo as your mohel.
 
2013-12-30 09:27:54 AM  

Sybarite: Should have gone with the Royal Deluxe II.

[hotoffpress.files.wordpress.com image 576x445]


It's a beautiful baby.  And a beautiful car.


Still, damn you for making the reference I was going to make, you syphilitic son of a milkless whore.
 
2013-12-30 09:28:52 AM  

Diogenes: An important preventative step is not hiring Mr. Magoo as your mohel.


Or Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, and Dr. Howard.

/Larry, Mohel, and Curly
 
2013-12-30 09:47:13 AM  
That is the most important step in any undertaking.
 
2013-12-30 09:52:17 AM  

dittybopper: Diogenes: An important preventative step is not hiring Mr. Magoo as your mohel.

Or Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, and Dr. Howard.

/Larry, Mohel, and Curly


Great, now I'm picturing the foreskin shooting up and hitting Curly in the eye..
 
2013-12-30 10:26:43 AM  

Diogenes: Great, now I'm picturing the foreskin shooting up and hitting Curly in the eye..


Then he flings it of and hits Moe in the forehead, where it sticks and he doesn't notice it.
 
2013-12-30 10:44:26 AM  
First thing I do every day is not cut off my penis.
 
2013-12-30 10:44:43 AM  
I hope he didn't get a big tip.
 
2013-12-30 10:46:59 AM  
One of the partners in my local Urology clinic had a plaque honoring "Harry the Schnipper."

Never ate at this store, even though very convenient to Penn Station/Madison Square Garden.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-30 10:47:27 AM  
In before a bunch of poorly-informed idiots descend on this thread to tell us why genital mutilation is great, based on little more than citations of third-world studies dependent upon third-world hygiene levels, and their own religious / cultural beliefs, while ignoring all evidence to the contrary.
 
2013-12-30 10:50:00 AM  

Sybarite: Should have gone with the Royal Deluxe II.

[hotoffpress.files.wordpress.com image 576x445]


Can never be enough references to that movie.

FTFA: 'Your average pediatric urologist probably spends about 20 percent of his or her time repairing children who have been circumcised,' Llewellyn told CBS.

Won't somebody please think of the pediatric urologists?!
 
2013-12-30 10:50:30 AM  
How about not cutting off parts of an infant's body? I can see some awkward discussions between that kid and his parents a few years down the line, most of which will start with the poor kid asking "why?"

The bronze age is over, folks.
 
2013-12-30 10:50:30 AM  
In before the "genital mutilation" crowd turns this thread into a shiat fest.

gweilo8888: In before a bunch of poorly-informed idiots descend on this thread to tell us why genital mutilation is great, based on little more than citations of third-world studies dependent upon third-world hygiene levels, and their own religious / cultural beliefs, while ignoring all evidence to the contrary.


Fark, too late. I guess I'll start the popcorn.
 
2013-12-30 10:50:44 AM  

EvilEgg: That is the most important step in any undertaking.


I like it. I'm going to update every users manual in my house to add:
Step One: Don't cut off anyone's penis
 
2013-12-30 10:52:26 AM  
Man, why do you guys have to be such downers every time the topic of genital mutilation comes up?
 
2013-12-30 10:52:32 AM  

gweilo8888: In before a bunch of poorly-informed idiots descend on this thread to tell us why genital mutilation is great, based on little more than citations of third-world studies dependent upon third-world hygiene levels, and their own religious / cultural beliefs, while ignoring all evidence to the contrary.


Oh dear...
 
2013-12-30 10:54:22 AM  

Keeve: Step One: Don't cut off anyone's penis


Step Two: Don't cut off anything else, either (at least not until they're old enough to give adult consent).
 
2013-12-30 10:54:27 AM  
Witnesses say it was an ugly penis anyway.
 
2013-12-30 10:54:58 AM  
The fact that people do this; the fact that somewhere along the line the first parent was told to do it and replied "sure thing. I'll cut off part of my kid's dick if you say God says so" is all the proof you need that people can be talked into absolutely anything.

If you believe in a god so trivial, so small, so mundane that he requires part of your body to be removed as some sign, then why do you imagine anyone should find your god to be at all impressive in any way?
 
2013-12-30 10:55:34 AM  

Keeve: EvilEgg: That is the most important step in any undertaking.

I like it. I'm going to update every users manual in my house to add:
Step One: Don't cut off anyone's penis


Does not approve of step one:

maxcdn.fooyoh.com
 
2013-12-30 10:55:52 AM  
The de-penification isn't even the most disturbing thing in the article.
 
2013-12-30 10:56:33 AM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: Fark, too late. I guess I'll start the popcorn.


May I suggest an alternate snack?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-30 10:56:37 AM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: In before the "genital mutilation" crowd turns this thread into a shiat fest.

gweilo8888: In before a bunch of poorly-informed idiots descend on this thread to tell us why genital mutilation is great, based on little more than citations of third-world studies dependent upon third-world hygiene levels, and their own religious / cultural beliefs, while ignoring all evidence to the contrary.

Fark, too late. I guess I'll start the popcorn.


psst! the kid has his genitals mutilated. try to follow along.


and the important question is, "did the mohel at least get to suck down some penis blood before they rushed the kid to the hospital"? because that's apparently important in these rituals.
 
2013-12-30 10:56:50 AM  
Thank god you love cock so much to ride your white horse, in gleaming armor, to defend it in its entirety
 
2013-12-30 10:59:14 AM  
Elaine Benes approves
Cosmo wigs out
 
2013-12-30 10:59:35 AM  

TheVeryDeadIanMartin: Keeve: EvilEgg: That is the most important step in any undertaking.

I like it. I'm going to update every users manual in my house to add:
Step One: Don't cut off anyone's penis

Step Two: Do not marry anyone who will not adhere to Step One.

Does not approve of step one:

Users manual's amended. Thanks for catching that.
 
2013-12-30 11:01:08 AM  
I think that should steps 1 through 1000.
 
2013-12-30 11:02:40 AM  

Uncle Tractor: Keeve: Step One: Don't cut off anyone's penis

Step Two: Don't cut off anything else, either (at least not until they're old enough to give adult consent).


No allowances for growths or malfunctions of otherwise-healthy tissues?

// yes, circumcision is neither
// personally, I've never really cared
 
2013-12-30 11:02:42 AM  
This is going to make an interesting origin story.
 
2013-12-30 11:07:37 AM  
You build a bridge, and they call you "The Bridgebuilder."  But you accidentally cut off ONE penis...
 
2013-12-30 11:08:41 AM  

EvilEgg: That is the most important step in any undertaking.


Not here in my sex-change clinic.
I say clinic, it is more a high-street shop-front beauty salon. For legal reasons I can't call it a sex-change. It is an intimate nip and tuck service. Like the moil in the story, I am certified. Well, I have neutered sheep on a farm. Can't be too different. Just look for my sign, a pair of legs with a Question Mark in between them.

\did I say certified? I mean certifiable.
\\nothing is obscure on FARK. right?
 
2013-12-30 11:09:24 AM  

Dr Dreidel: No allowances for growths or malfunctions of otherwise-healthy tissues?


Well, that would be a medical procedure, unlike lopping off a perfectly healthy body part for no good reason.

(no, the say-so of a bronze-age fairy-tale character is not a good reason)
 
2013-12-30 11:12:04 AM  
What kind of professional goes around with his tie loosened and his shirt unbuttoned at the top?i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-12-30 11:13:13 AM  
What a rip off.
 
2013-12-30 11:13:59 AM  

Molavian: This is going to make an interesting origin story.


"Viciously maimed as an infant, Isaac Rabinowitz channeled his personal pain and fury into fighting crime and standing up for the rights of the innocent and penis-less.  Evildoers everywhere cower in fear, hoping they never suffer the wrath of The Castrato!"
 
2013-12-30 11:15:30 AM  
persephonemagazine.com
 
2013-12-30 11:17:31 AM  
OUCH-witz!
 
2013-12-30 11:20:14 AM  
Most important thing is: Protect my balls

/let's fighting love
 
2013-12-30 11:21:10 AM  
And afterwards he sat down to a hearty lunch
images.wisegeek.com
 
2013-12-30 11:23:08 AM  

Uncle Tractor: Dr Dreidel: No allowances for growths or malfunctions of otherwise-healthy tissues?

Well, that would be a medical procedure, unlike lopping off a perfectly healthy body part for no good reason.


I assumed you meant for those to be allowed, but the rule as written didn't seem to.

And for those objecting to metzitza - the point is to draw blood away from the site (the word means "suction"), not to get some baby-blood in your gullet. Any rabbi with any sense, including some VERY Orthodox types I know, forbid mouth-suction as it presents such a serious threat to health*. Capillary tubes are what's in use these days for the overwhelming majority.

And that fraction-of-a-fraction who still puts the kids at risk is unbelievably blinkered, and yes, a general threat to public health.

And if you're against the practice entirely, you'd object no matter what the circumstances - if an infant is getting their ears pierced with a piercing gun, the objection is still to the piercing in general, not the equipment specifically.
 
2013-12-30 11:23:53 AM  
DNRTFA -no way, not reading it. Still the best argument for circumcision -SFW :

http://jezebel.com/no-uncircumcised-man-will-ever-know-the-true-plea su re-o-962507575
 
2013-12-30 11:25:25 AM  
Depends on who you ask, Subby.

mayaesslemont.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-30 11:26:42 AM  

Diogenes: Molavian: This is going to make an interesting origin story.

"Viciously maimed as an infant, Isaac Rabinowitz channeled his personal pain and fury into fighting crime and standing up for the rights of the innocent and penis-less.  Evildoers everywhere cower in fear, hoping they never suffer the wrath of The Castrato!"


blogs.evtrib.com

Hulk no like mohel. Make Hulk angry. HULK SMASH!
 
2013-12-30 11:27:32 AM  

Keeve: EvilEgg: That is the most important step in any undertaking.

I like it. I'm going to update every users manual in my house to add:
Step One: Don't cut off anyone's penis


LMAO

Should be in all caps! And include "or clitorus."
 
2013-12-30 11:28:27 AM  
What an idiotic tradition.
 
2013-12-30 11:28:56 AM  
I was going to post a snarky pict related to this thread. But when I GIS "Jar of Foreskins," in addition to a jar of foreskins, the search brought op a few pictures of Oprah. (???????)

No now instead of posting a rather bad pict, I am asking if anyone knows why Oprah is assoicated with Foreskins?
 
2013-12-30 11:29:22 AM  
"Mayor Bloomberg has spoken out about medical circumcision following 11 herpes outbreaks in 2001 in New York in an ultra-Orthodox Jewish circumcision ritual called metzitzah b'peh - or oral suction - in which the mohel puts his mouth directly on the newborn's circumcised penis and sucks out the blood."

Looks like yet another Jewish tradition ripped off by the Catholic church...
 
2013-12-30 11:32:00 AM  

wambu: OUCH-witz!


Window seat, or aisle? Mind if I take the other one? Well, I laughed, so.
 
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