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(Abc.net.au)   After attending a church camp do you a) make a sizable donation to your church b) volunteer to help the needy or c) put a random stranger in intensive care because "you wanted to hit somebody"?   (abc.net.au) divider line 51
    More: Ironic, Gold Coast, attendance, police prosecutor, Surfers Paradise  
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4598 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2013 at 4:21 AM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-30 12:42:30 AM  
See? This is why Band camp > Church camp
 
2013-12-30 01:49:06 AM  
Makes sense.
 
2013-12-30 03:48:44 AM  
If somebody forced me to attend a Church camp and listen to that bullshiat, I know i'd want to hit them.
 
2013-12-30 04:16:12 AM  
Hey, only for revenge. Vengeance is mine quoth Alvis. Then he shot that guy in the freakin face.
 
2013-12-30 04:23:57 AM  
"I come not to bring peace, but to bring a sword" (Matthew 10:34)

At least they are starting to read the owners manual.
 
2013-12-30 04:33:48 AM  

quatchi: See? This is why Band camp > Church camp


Any Camp > Church Camp

/At least at Jewish camp you get to meet Moses
//upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-30 05:09:45 AM  
Depends on the god, really.
 
2013-12-30 05:10:06 AM  
Ever been to church camp?  It's a wonder the victim is stil alive with his body parts not scattered all over the countryside.
 
2013-12-30 05:12:24 AM  
Would it had been considered a racist crime if he had hit a Jew?
 
2013-12-30 05:15:36 AM  

Point02GPA: Would it had been considered a racist crime if he had hit a Jew?


Depends.
 
2013-12-30 05:19:14 AM  

hardinparamedic: Hey, only for revenge. Vengeance is mine quoth Alvis. Then he shot that guy in the freakin face.


Heh.
 
2013-12-30 05:22:55 AM  
Was it Islamic church camp?
 
2013-12-30 05:41:14 AM  

K3rmy: Was it Islamic church camp?


I didn't see any mention of a bomb vest, so I'm guessing no.
 
2013-12-30 05:41:40 AM  

K3rmy: Was it Islamic church camp?


That joke bombed.
 
2013-12-30 05:52:13 AM  
i1079.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-30 06:00:56 AM  
When will this senseless church related violence end?

souldevice.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-30 06:01:16 AM  
I was browbeat into attending a church camp by family once, it's definitely C.

I'm glad I'm old enough to drive away from that stuff now.
 
2013-12-30 06:08:02 AM  

doglover: Depends on the god, really.


Not only the god, but the church's sect as well!
 
2013-12-30 06:13:14 AM  

starsrift: doglover: Depends on the god, really.

Not only the god, but the church's sect as well!


so, acts of sectual violence?
 
2013-12-30 06:39:12 AM  
Don't blame them, the handful of times I've been dragged to church I've wanted to hit somebody too.

/it burnses!
 
2013-12-30 06:46:22 AM  
People like this make me reassess my position on lobotomy. If someone is this irresponsible with free will, perhaps they shouldn't be trusted with it.
 
2013-12-30 06:46:46 AM  
Things must have changed. When I went to Bible camp, we made plaques with Popsicle sticks and pasta letters, honey and sesame seed candy, and a model of Jerusalem from shoeboxes and populated with Biblical personages made from clothespins. Apparently the curriculum has changed.
 
2013-12-30 06:57:14 AM  
Considering how I felt after Sunday school as a kid, hitting someone makes sense.
 
2013-12-30 07:06:57 AM  

No Time To Explain: starsrift: doglover: Depends on the god, really.

Not only the god, but the church's sect as well!

so, acts of sectual violence?


2.bp.blogspot.com

www.marvunapp.com

media.oglaf.com
 
2013-12-30 07:10:57 AM  
indulgy.net

The first rule of church camp is you DO NOT TALK about church camp.
 
2013-12-30 07:13:48 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: Laobaojun: People like this make me reassess my position on lobotomy. If someone is this irresponsible with free will, perhaps they shouldn't be trusted with it.

are we talking full frontal?


I'd rather have a bottle in front of me.

doglover: Depends on the god, really.


i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-12-30 07:14:03 AM  
This one time at church camp I shoved a cross up my anus
 
2013-12-30 07:19:49 AM  
Yay Jesus!!
 
2013-12-30 07:30:14 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: phrawgh: "I come not to bring peace, but to bring a sword" (Matthew 10:34)

At least they are starting to read the owners manual.

woohoo... out of context quotes ftw... I got you beat though: Jesus wept.


To be fair, that's kind of what everyone does with the Bible. If you took everything from the Bible you'd seem like a schizophrenic ass with severe anger issues.
 
2013-12-30 07:47:17 AM  
~~The police prosecutor told the court that Kaufusi and Taufui had been attending a church camp at Tallebudgera.

Now they're just makin' shiat up.
 
2013-12-30 07:48:33 AM  
I hit a man in church camp just to watch him cry.
 
2013-12-30 07:56:53 AM  
Yet we lock people up for life in this country for selling a weed that should be legal.  Yes I know this was not in the US, but our sentencing laws need to be looked at harshly.  These 2 people are deserving of life in prison.
 
2013-12-30 08:04:27 AM  
Subby obviously hasn't been to Church Camp.  The up side is if you don't squirt it in there you can find some of the loosest girls around.
 
2013-12-30 08:13:12 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: Lanadapter: This one time at church camp I shoved a cross up my anus

I'm very sorry for you... it must be awfully awkward being in human company and not understanding the mechanics of humor.


That's why I'm practicing duh
 
2013-12-30 08:22:27 AM  

Whatchoo Talkinbout: ~~The police prosecutor told the court that Kaufusi and Taufui had been attending a church camp at Tallebudgera.

Now they're just makin' shiat up.


They sound like Abos. We need to check with Bruce and Bruce to see if that is so.
 
2013-12-30 08:24:16 AM  
Anyone who's ever been to church camp (Especially Baptist church camp) knows the answer is "C" of course! The people running the camp I went to were so beyond stupid a group of us almost froze to death because the kid they had that was supposed to put wood in the furnaces during the night at some point gave up... so the cabin we were in ended up well below zero.  Did anyone seem to care after we complained about someone skipping out on their duty? Oh no.. no one cared one bit. Trust me, I was very ready to punch a few people.
 
2013-12-30 08:47:53 AM  
There is a Stephen King story on this very subject, called "Morality."

/But, of course, there is a Stephen King story on almost every subject...
 
2013-12-30 08:52:10 AM  
ummmm............

They were drinking .....
 
2013-12-30 08:53:37 AM  

rebelyell2006: Whatchoo Talkinbout: ~~The police prosecutor told the court that Kaufusi and Taufui had been attending a church camp at Tallebudgera.

Now they're just makin' shiat up.

They sound like Abos. We need to check with Bruce and Bruce to see if that is so.



Tallebudgera is an Aboriginal name (wiki tells me it means "good fish").   But Amanaki Kilisimasi Kaufusi and Onesi Filimoetaufa Taufui are definitely not.   Almost all Aboriginals have Anglo names (Cathy Freeman, Anthony Mundine etc., etc.).  The few Aboriginal traditional names that do exist look/sound completely different to that.   (I'm not linguist enough to really know what it is I'm looking at, I can just tell.  Maybe it's the "oe" and "au"?   Not enough consonants?)

My bet is that these guys are Tongan.

/I'm actually a sheila, but you can call me Bruce if you really want to.
 
2013-12-30 09:06:50 AM  

Laobaojun: People like this make me reassess my position on lobotomy. If someone is this irresponsible with free will, perhaps they shouldn't be trusted with it.


Yeah, but where do you draw the line?  Vote GOP?  Own a chihuahua?  Wear socks with sandals?  You gotta go with the Clockwork Orange and just treat the symptoms, not the cause.
 
2013-12-30 09:10:11 AM  
As someone who runs a 'church camp,' I've walked away from days wanting to a hit a lot of people.

On the plus side, church camp was also the first place I learned how to play strip poker.
 
2013-12-30 09:15:09 AM  
This makes sense actually.  I went to Baptist camp for a couple weeks one summer and I came out of it with an intense desire to destroy the entire planet and everybody on it.  My time would have been better spent being spent if I had been sent to federal prison while dressed up as a girl scout.  Probably would have been less harmful to my psyche and buttocks too.
 
2013-12-30 09:17:47 AM  
if anybody forced me to go to bible camp, the answer would be 'C'.

/kill Kill  Kill KILL
 
2013-12-30 09:22:18 AM  
I discovered religion was bullshiat at about the time I could have been sent to church camp, so I would have been the kid who interrupted everything, protested at having to sing, went "blah blah blah" during prayers.  They would have sent me home.  I was an obnoxious dick then.

Now I'm a polite dick.
 
2013-12-30 09:45:59 AM  
I must have been living in an alternate universe, but church camp, at least in high school, was a straight-up sex and drug fest. This was the late 80s, of course, but it was basically spring break with a smattering of "bible study".
 
2013-12-30 09:47:38 AM  
Two Sydney men...

Stopped reading there.  Nothing in the least bit ironic here.
 
2013-12-30 10:07:42 AM  
Name it and claim it.
 
2013-12-30 12:08:39 PM  

Aquapope: Laobaojun: People like this make me reassess my position on lobotomy. If someone is this irresponsible with free will, perhaps they shouldn't be trusted with it.

Yeah, but where do you draw the line?  Vote GOP?  Own a chihuahua?  Wear socks with sandals?  You gotta go with the Clockwork Orange and just treat the symptoms, not the cause.


Posting on Fark, maybe...  Socks with sandals or owning a chihuahua, definitely.

/I keed, I keed.
 
2013-12-30 12:21:28 PM  
Thats odd Church camp usually just makes me feel rappy
 
2013-12-30 12:55:08 PM  

starsrift: doglover: Depends on the god, really.

Not only the god, but the church's sect as well!


Buttsects?
 
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