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(ESPN)   It turns out that it doesn't matter who you plug in at quarterback, all Cowboys games end the same way   (scores.espn.go.com) divider line 182
    More: Interesting, Kyle Orton, NFC East, Cowboys, Nick Foles, interceptions, Tony Romo, false starts, LeSean McCoy  
•       •       •

1619 clicks; posted to Sports » on 30 Dec 2013 at 12:49 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



182 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-12-30 12:35:29 AM  
pbs.twimg.com
 
2013-12-30 12:44:45 AM  
Fly Eagles Fly.
 
2013-12-30 12:53:16 AM  
Aww Jeez.
 
2013-12-30 12:54:03 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-30 12:56:25 AM  
I was gonna say "GO fark YOURSELVES" and ragequit but the headline is accurate.
 
2013-12-30 12:58:02 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-12-30 12:59:12 AM  
Darth Jerry has run out of flag officers to force choke
 
2013-12-30 01:01:22 AM  
Watching Jerry Jones get so mad at the end that he spit in his own luxury box...

PRICELESS!
 
2013-12-30 01:03:06 AM  

Treygreen13: I was gonna say "GO fark YOURSELVES" and ragequit but the headline is accurate.


I will support you by posting angrily.
 
2013-12-30 01:04:18 AM  
 
2013-12-30 01:05:27 AM  
So you're saying there's something else the matter with the Cowboys?
 
2013-12-30 01:11:28 AM  
kI wouldn't miss thread for the world
 
2013-12-30 01:15:17 AM  

Bermuda59: SilentStrider: Fly Eagles Fly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTcxQ7ER-G0


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woLQI8X2R6Y
 
2013-12-30 01:23:13 AM  
So that's why they're nicknamed Cardiac Cowboys?
 
2013-12-30 01:23:55 AM  
I have to wonder if it is the receivers fault... or a curse..
 
2013-12-30 01:25:39 AM  
You know I was going to make a joke about Kyle Orton disappointing some lucky, desperate team next year, but I looked it up and that farker got a 3 year freaking contract from Jerrah. He's on the books for $3.25 and $3.5 over the next two seasons. Good Lord.
 
2013-12-30 01:27:05 AM  

jayhawk88: You know I was going to make a joke about Kyle Orton disappointing some lucky, desperate team next year, but I looked it up and that farker got a 3 year freaking contract from Jerrah. He's on the books for $3.25 and $3.5 over the next two seasons. Good Lord.


Ten mil for only having to play one game is pretty sweet.

I'd be a backup for like a quarter of that...hell even a tenth....fark that, league minimum.
 
2013-12-30 01:28:17 AM  
Don't post or greenlight another Goddamn Cowboys thread. Up until now, I've been polite. If you post or greenlight ANYTHING else - ONE COWBOYS THTRAD- I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of TROLLY NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

Your choice
 
2013-12-30 01:29:17 AM  

IAmRight: So you're saying there's something else the matter with the Cowboys?


That sounds vaguely familiar. Now where have I heard that before? Think, dammit, THINK!
 
2013-12-30 01:33:13 AM  

mikaloyd: Don't post or greenlight another Goddamn Cowboys thread. Up until now, I've been polite. If you post or greenlight ANYTHING else - ONE COWBOYS THTRAD- I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of TROLLY NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

Your choice


You kinda went off the other day....but ok...

/I agree with you
 
2013-12-30 01:33:17 AM  

IAmRight: So you're saying there's something else the matter with the Cowboys?


Check back in 8 hours, Garrets head might be on the pike next to Chud & Kubiak
 
2013-12-30 01:34:28 AM  
You know that saying about the one common factor in all of your failed relationships is you?

i.imgur.com

/At least the Saints made it in.
 
2013-12-30 01:35:43 AM  

Di Atribe: IAmRight: So you're saying there's something else the matter with the Cowboys?

That sounds vaguely familiar. Now where have I heard that before? Think, dammit, THINK!


Was it a conversation about the hotdog vendor? I bet it's the hotdog vendor. Those guys are always causing trouble.
 
2013-12-30 01:35:49 AM  

mikaloyd: Don't post or greenlight another Goddamn Cowboys thread. Up until now, I've been polite. If you post or greenlight ANYTHING else - ONE COWBOYS THTRAD- I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of TROLLY NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

Your choice


But dude, the Cowboys are totally ripping Blizzard off.
 
2013-12-30 01:36:10 AM  
I'll have some of whatever mikaloyd's on.
 
2013-12-30 01:36:35 AM  
Fear not Cowboys fans. The draft pick coin flip with the Ravens will surely merit a 2-hour special on the NFL Network.
 
2013-12-30 01:37:47 AM  

Joe_diGriz: Was it a conversation about the hotdog vendor? I bet it's the hotdog vendor. Those guys are always causing trouble.


Invisible in a crowd, they pass by unnoticed. We trust them without even thinking! It's the perfect occupation for serial murderers!
 
2013-12-30 01:37:51 AM  

mikaloyd: Don't post or greenlight another Goddamn Cowboys thread. Up until now, I've been polite. If you post or greenlight ANYTHING else - ONE COWBOYS THTRAD- I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of TROLLY NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

Your choice


I'm willing to pay you for this post. A sufficient amount to pay for an arcade game. But a cheap one.
 
2013-12-30 01:38:36 AM  
So no mention about Philly? OH COME ON.
 
2013-12-30 01:39:50 AM  

Treygreen13: mikaloyd: Don't post or greenlight another Goddamn Cowboys thread. Up until now, I've been polite. If you post or greenlight ANYTHING else - ONE COWBOYS THTRAD- I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of TROLLY NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

Your choice

I'm willing to pay you for this post. A sufficient amount to pay for an arcade game. But a cheap one.


I think I got a penny somewhere.
 
2013-12-30 01:41:27 AM  

Triumph: Fear not Cowboys fans. The draft pick coin flip with the Ravens will surely merit a 2-hour special on the NFL Network.


TRICK QUESTION
Nobody has NFL Network!
*Except for me*
 
2013-12-30 01:43:32 AM  

mikaloyd: Don't post or greenlight another Goddamn Cowboys thread. Up until now, I've been polite. If you post or greenlight ANYTHING else - ONE COWBOYS THTRAD- I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of TROLLY NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.


i5.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-30 01:43:52 AM  

eddievercetti: So no mention about Philly? OH COME ON.


Philly can only be mentioned when there's an opportunity to bring up:

a) Santa Claus and snowballs
b) battery-throwing
c) the jail at the Vet
d) cheering an opponent's injury
e) the guy who brought a flare gun into the stadium one year
f) some big fight in the stands, because that only ever happens in Philly
g) the state of the Eagles' Super Bowl trophy case
 
2013-12-30 01:46:14 AM  

Joe_diGriz: eddievercetti: So no mention about Philly? OH COME ON.

Philly can only be mentioned when there's an opportunity to bring up:

a) Santa Claus and snowballs
b) battery-throwing
c) the jail at the Vet
d) cheering an opponent's injury
e) the guy who brought a flare gun into the stadium one year
f) some big fight in the stands, because that only ever happens in Philly
g) the state of the Eagles' Super Bowl trophy case


Indeed. Heaven forbid we discuss draft needs for teams not in the playoffs or playoff outlooks for actual teams in the playoffs. WHAT DID KYLE ORTON HAVE FOR LUNCH
 
2013-12-30 01:46:42 AM  

Joe_diGriz: eddievercetti: So no mention about Philly? OH COME ON.

Philly can only be mentioned when there's an opportunity to bring up:

a) Santa Claus and snowballs
b) battery-throwing
c) the jail at the Vet
d) cheering an opponent's injury
e) the guy who brought a flare gun into the stadium one year
f) some big fight in the stands, because that only ever happens in Philly
g) the state of the Eagles' Super Bowl trophy case


ding ding ding
 
2013-12-30 01:48:36 AM  

Joe_diGriz: c) the jail at the Vet


Is there a jail at the new place? Is it called "The Clink at the Linc?" Please let this be true.
 
2013-12-30 01:51:31 AM  

Di Atribe: Is there a jail at the new place? Is it called "The Clink at the Linc?" Please let this be true.


No, but they should totally do that, and then charge money to see it in person.  Maybe it could help them offset the cost of renovating the rest of the stadium.
 
2013-12-30 01:52:36 AM  

Di Atribe: Joe_diGriz: c) the jail at the Vet

Is there a jail at the new place? Is it called "The Clink at the Linc?" Please let this be true.


"TONIGHT on HBO, MAYWEATHER/JONES in THE CLINK AT THE LINC!"
 
2013-12-30 01:54:11 AM  

jayhawk88: You know I was going to make a joke about Kyle Orton disappointing some lucky, desperate team next year, but I looked it up and that farker got a 3 year freaking contract from Jerrah. He's on the books for $3.25 and $3.5 over the next two seasons. Good Lord.


He's a poor man's Bernie Kosar or Steve Buerlein. But without the ring for his troubles.
 
2013-12-30 01:55:17 AM  

mikaloyd: Don't post or greenlight another Goddamn Cowboys thread. Up until now, I've been polite. If you post or greenlight ANYTHING else - ONE COWBOYS THTRAD- I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of TROLLY NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

Your choice


See, it's great stuff like this that keeps us all excited in anticipation of the next Cowboys thread.
 
2013-12-30 01:55:42 AM  

UNC_Samurai: He's a poor man's Bernie Kosar or Steve Buerlein.


I'm pretty sure Orton is far from poor, unless he somehow managed to spend $20mil on booze.
 
2013-12-30 01:57:52 AM  
16 games, 13 of which had playoff implications, and we get 3 summary submissions featuring a poop joke, a gay joke, and Cowboys. Ridiculous.
 
2013-12-30 01:58:40 AM  

Joe_diGriz: UNC_Samurai: He's a poor man's Bernie Kosar or Steve Buerlein.

I'm pretty sure Orton is far from poor, unless he somehow managed to spend $20mil on booze.


No, like he's the guy that the poor man can afford. Like box wine is a poor man's fine wine.
 
2013-12-30 01:59:03 AM  

This Looks Fun: 16 games, 13 of which had playoff implications, and we get 3 summary submissions featuring a poop joke, a gay joke, and Cowboys. Ridiculous.

 
2013-12-30 01:59:25 AM  

Triumph: Fear not Cowboys fans. The draft pick coin flip with the Ravens will surely merit a 2-hour special on the NFL Network.


At the conclusion of which, they will tell us that the flip was preformed off camera, and the Patriots won.
 
2013-12-30 02:00:55 AM  

Joe_diGriz: eddievercetti: So no mention about Philly? OH COME ON.

Philly can only be mentioned when there's an opportunity to bring up:

a) Santa Claus and snowballs
b) battery-throwing
c) the jail at the Vet
d) cheering an opponent's injury
e) the guy who brought a flare gun into the stadium one year
f) some big fight in the stands, because that only ever happens in Philly
g) the state of the Eagles' Super Bowl trophy case



Yes, Chief Zee showed up for the '83 game at Veterans Stadium, which was a delightful place if you're partial to Turkish prisons, dressed in full Redskins mascot garb when a squad of Iggles fans surrounded him in the parking lot, smashed his eye, broke his leg and stripped him to his underwear.
 
2013-12-30 02:03:05 AM  
This was a tough game to pick for me. Watching the Cowboys lose in painful fashion is always great, but the idea that Mike "Murdering dogs is fun, yo" Vick might even get near a Superb Owl (he'd probably kill it too) is no fun either... So here's to becoming a fan of whoever the Eagles are playing next week.


/Since my Ravens are done, all that's left is rooting against people
 
2013-12-30 02:13:12 AM  
I was really torn on who to root for.
On the one hand I dislike the Cowboys more than any other team in the NFL.
On the other hand I hate Chip Kelly and every Oregon fan that is now an Eagle fan.
But then I thought, does it really matter?
Whoever wins this game will be blown out by the Saints next week anyway.

mikaloyd: Joe_diGriz: eddievercetti: So no mention about Philly? OH COME ON.

Yes, Chief Zee showed up for the '83 game at Veterans Stadium, which was a delightful place if you're partial to Turkish prisons, dressed in full Redskins mascot garb when a squad of Iggles fans surrounded him in the parking lot, smashed his eye, broke his leg and stripped him to his underwear.


How could you do that to one of the sweetest old men ever
www.washingtonpost.com

/Met him several times.
//I know he does not remember me
/// I would take one Chief Zee over 50 Hogettes any day.
 
2013-12-30 02:18:14 AM  

Joe_diGriz: eddievercetti: So no mention about Philly? OH COME ON.

Philly can only be mentioned when there's an opportunity to bring up:

a) Santa Claus and snowballs
b) battery-throwing
c) the jail at the Vet
d) cheering an opponent's injury
e) the guy who brought a flare gun into the stadium one year
f) some big fight in the stands, because that only ever happens in Philly
g) the state of the Eagles' Super Bowl trophy case


I usually stick with C, but on occasion G. D only ever really got used when Vick was in the game and my Giants were playing them.
 
2013-12-30 02:18:45 AM  

CipollinaFan: How could you do that to one of the sweetest old men ever


. Early in the game, two locals accosted Williams in the upper deck. They ripped his customized jumpsuit during an unsuccessful attempt to tear it clean off him. The assailants also grabbed the feathers off his head and threw them to the grandstands below. Veterans Stadium security guards came to Chief Zee's rescue, throwing his attackers out.
Williams, who was ruffled but unhurt, went downstairs and asked for help from Philly fans in retrieving his headdress, but, with John Riggins leading the Skins to a 23-13 win over the home team, they weren't in any mood to assist. The Chief left the stadium without the feathers. On his walk to the parking lot, a van cut in front of Williams and stopped. The back doors opened, and a thuggish quartet--including the two folks who'd been ejected for going after Williams inside the stadium--jumped out. They proceeded to deliver perhaps the worst mascot beating in NFL history on Chief Zee.
"They treated me like chopped meat," he says. "They ripped off my costume, smashed my eye socket so my eyeball was just hanging out, snapped my leg like it was a twig, and yelled, 'You won't be jumping up and down in this stadium anymore!' They left me lying in my underclothes."
 For the rest of the season, Chief Zee went to games in a wheelchair or on crutches. None of his attackers were ever arrested,
Eagles officials invited Chief Zee to come back in costume as their guest for the 1984 game at the Vet.
He accepted the invitation.
Bad move.
"They gave me the VIP treatment: drove me to the game and put me in the box seats," Williams says. "But this senior-citizen lady comes up to me and says, 'You've got a lot of nerve coming up here! We mugged the guy who dressed like that last year!' And then she threw her drink in my face. I can still smell that drink."
Though it was only halftime, Williams got up and left the game after drying himself off. He hasn't been back to Philadelphia since.
 
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