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(SeattlePI)   Officers in Portland, Oregon were able to lure a naked mentally ill man off the ledge of a parking structure using: A) Money B) Drugs or C) A sandwich   (seattlepi.com) divider line 32
    More: Strange, Oregon  
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1922 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Dec 2013 at 2:58 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-29 11:50:16 PM  
Cops spend a ridiculous amount of time running around dealing with people who should be hospitalized or in care somewhere.

The sandwich getting is the only happy part of this story.
 
2013-12-29 11:59:13 PM  
So now we know, and can devise the correctly designed traps.
Once all the naked mentally ill men are captured by these sandwich snares and gathered up into one location for re-purposing, or so that their nutrients can be extracted and utilized,
only then can society move forward.
 
2013-12-29 11:59:38 PM  
I know I'd leave any ledge for a sammich.
 
2013-12-30 12:08:53 AM  
Weird. Usually Portland cops lure mentally ill people with D) Bullets. Or E) A savage beating.
 
2013-12-30 12:25:11 AM  
Typical liberal city using taxpayers' money to hand out food to people too lazy to even get dressed.
 
2013-12-30 12:53:49 AM  
i'd get naked and go out on a ledge for a sandwich about now.

/reuben
 
2013-12-30 02:39:36 AM  
i can imagine myself on a ledge, pondering the enormity of burdens and fruitless endeavors, compounded by an incredibly short life span and the absence of love and recognition I feel I deserve. but if someone were to say to me then that they were kind enough to bring me a sandwich, and to enjoy it in the company of other sandwich eaters, that might be all i would need to step in from the ledge.  i cannot explain why.

/nudity optional
 
2013-12-30 02:58:45 AM  
Question is, which side of the ledge?
 
2013-12-30 03:00:10 AM  
Tigers are kind of stupid that way.

/shouldn't be too obscure
 
2013-12-30 03:07:03 AM  
static1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-12-30 03:07:18 AM  
I bet they used the sandwich to lure him away from the ledge then took him into custody without letting him eat it, he probably had an IV dinner later though.
 
2013-12-30 03:25:33 AM  
Since it's Portland, I assume it was an Organic Locally Sourced Free Ranged Cooperative Farm Fresh Artisanal sandwich.
 
2013-12-30 03:26:26 AM  

quatchi: Cops spend a ridiculous amount of time running around dealing with people who should be hospitalized or in care somewhere.

The sandwich getting is the only happy part of this story.


Well, yeah, but soshulizm.

Nice to see cops can do something right for once. Over/under on when we hear they should have done something different and/or how this was bad because?
 
2013-12-30 03:32:31 AM  
I'm in Portland, scantily clad, and neurotic. Can I have a sandwich?
 
2013-12-30 03:42:42 AM  
www.therunnersvibe.com
 
2013-12-30 03:54:27 AM  

Farkenhostile: I bet they used the sandwich to lure him away from the ledge then took him into custody without letting him eat it, he probably had an IV dinner later though.


Great. Now I can't even feel good about the sammich getting part. That's just swell.

Gyrfalcon: quatchi: Cops spend a ridiculous amount of time running around dealing with people who should be hospitalized or in care somewhere.

The sandwich getting is the only happy part of this story.


Well, yeah, but soshulizm.

I see you've studied this out. Giving free sammiches to mentally ill suicidal naked people was exactly how Marx started out!

Nice to see cops can do something right for once.

More seriously? Yes, agreed.

Over/under on when we hear they should have done something different and/or how this was bad because?

The chances of people not playing armchair QB or doing some reflexive cop bashing?

This is the internet.

Vegas aint even putting out a line on this.
 
2013-12-30 04:04:47 AM  
www.watchcartoononline.com

Hell, a good enough sandwich would lure me onto a damn ledge.
 
2013-12-30 04:06:09 AM  
With all the stuff I read here on Fark I thought a bullet sandwich, but these cops seemed to be actually helping.
 
2013-12-30 04:13:40 AM  

rev. dave: With all the stuff I read here on Fark I thought a bullet sandwich, but these cops seemed to be actually helping.


Cops are generally trying to be helpful.

The problem is humans are basically a bigger, more violent species of chimp. When it comes to violence: if you give us an inch, we'll sharpen the ruler and cut someone with it. Cops are let off the chain a little, and so they tend to over do the violence, but it's acceptable.

So, you have to have rules in place and a culture of castigation AGAINST such over-zealousness. If you want the cops to have an inch of violence, give them a millimeter and see how far they bend those rules. But the cops themselves aren't always bad people per se. It's the culture and the law that needs rectified.
 
2013-12-30 04:25:10 AM  
d) and then tazed him.
 
2013-12-30 04:38:06 AM  
Normally they would have just shot him, no beating optional.

/ i live in Portland currently
 
2013-12-30 04:49:43 AM  
WHAT KIND OF SANDWICH WAS IT????
 
2013-12-30 05:24:55 AM  
Proof that the world's problems could be solved if the wimmin just started making people sammitches again
 
2013-12-30 05:59:29 AM  

some_beer_drinker: WHAT KIND OF SANDWICH WAS IT????


Exactly, that's all I want to know. A meatball sub with extra cheese, ham and tomato?
Fail at reporting! Fail!
 
2013-12-30 06:48:14 AM  
Was this the man in question?
wildorphans.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-30 07:55:06 AM  

some_beer_drinker: WHAT KIND OF SANDWICH WAS IT????


Grilled pastrami and Swiss on rye.

img4-3.sunset.timeinc.net
 
2013-12-30 08:06:18 AM  
Why strange tag, subby?  Was obvious tag out getting a sandwich?  A naked man only wants two things, and sandwich is one of them.
 
2013-12-30 08:12:41 AM  

Farkenhostile: I bet they used the sandwich to lure him away from the ledge then took him into custody without letting him eat it, he probably had an IV dinner later though.


I also bet that they didn't pay the hotel for the sandwich that they "obtained"

The guy had to have been pretty seriously mentally ill to trust the police to let him eat a non-stolen sandwich (not that he likely cared that it was stolen)
 
2013-12-30 08:19:26 AM  

Zeb Hesselgresser: some_beer_drinker: WHAT KIND OF SANDWICH WAS IT????

Grilled pastrami and Swiss on rye.

[img4-3.sunset.timeinc.net image 400x400]


I know I'd climb ONTO a ledge for one of those.
 
2013-12-30 09:53:14 AM  

some_beer_drinker: WHAT KIND OF SANDWICH WAS IT????


www.quickmeme.com
 
2013-12-30 10:06:55 AM  

muck1969: i can imagine myself on a ledge, pondering the enormity of burdens and fruitless endeavors, compounded by an incredibly short life span and the absence of love and recognition I feel I deserve. but if someone were to say to me then that they were kind enough to bring me a sandwich, and to enjoy it in the company of other sandwich eaters, that might be all i would need to step in from the ledge.  i cannot explain why.

/nudity optional


...only to have your trust shattered when they snatch the sandwich back and descend upon you, slamming your face into the cold, unforgiving concrete. The officer who once held the sandwich grabs one of your arms and twists it like there are no bones holding it together and the only thing that stops you from crying out in agony is the knee of the second officer, which he slams into the middle of your back, pushing all of the wind from your lungs, leaving you gasping for life. And as the cuffs clink together and the steel bracelets pinch the skin on your wrists together you lay there staring at the sandwich that lays on the ground feet from your nose, wondering if they're still going to let you eat it.
 
2013-12-30 12:07:00 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Since it's Portland, I assume it was an Organic Locally Sourced Free Ranged Cooperative Farm Fresh Artisanal sandwich.


You get the +1 vote
 
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