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(YouTube)   Britney Spears' opening Vegas act is stellar. Stellar, if you drank three bottles of cough syrup before attending. Because that's about how she looked on stage. Three-toed sloths have better moves than this   (youtube.com) divider line 44
    More: Fail, Britney Spears  
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6387 clicks; posted to Video » on 29 Dec 2013 at 8:24 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-29 03:13:12 AM
Subby has missed the movie.  Nowadays, Britney is a cough-syrup laden three-toed sloth who needs auto tune even while lip-synching.  Since Sigfried and Roy came within an inch of realizing their full entertainment potential, Vegas has been looking for the next train wreck that can safely be contained in a single amphitheater.  If Britney keeps looking like a stumbling, droning ad for NyQuil, stand by for the two-year engagement of "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" starring Lindsay Lohan, Danny Bonaduce and Flavor Flav as Big Daddy.
 
2013-12-29 08:33:57 AM

dkendr: Subby has missed the movie.  Nowadays, Britney is a cough-syrup laden three-toed sloth who needs auto tune even while lip-synching.  Since Sigfried and Roy came within an inch of realizing their full entertainment potential, Vegas has been looking for the next train wreck that can safely be contained in a single amphitheater.  If Britney keeps looking like a stumbling, droning ad for NyQuil, stand by for the two-year engagement of "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" starring Lindsay Lohan, Danny Bonaduce and Flavor Flav as Big Daddy.



+5
I had to laugh to at that visual... and also get a bit ill at the same time
 
2013-12-29 08:40:26 AM
I have to ask- seriously and straight up, no joke-

Who buys into this shiat? Who actually goes online and buys a concert ticket? Actually downloads Spears' songs on iTunes? Gay men with a sense of humor? Minivan soccer moms? I simply do not understand the attraction to this at all.
 
2013-12-29 08:45:43 AM
Eh, I thought she looked more mechanical and over-rehearsed than sluggish and sloppy. I also think she's too thick around the middle the wear get ups like that anymore.
 
2013-12-29 08:50:03 AM
She peaked with Toxic. That's the Brittney I'll always remember. Legal age and hot. Not this Elvisized one.
 
2013-12-29 08:53:07 AM
Love her thick ass body..

/and I guess she was dancing or something
 
2013-12-29 09:00:47 AM

darch: I have to ask- seriously and straight up, no joke-

Who buys into this shiat? Who actually goes online and buys a concert ticket? Actually downloads Spears' songs on iTunes? Gay men with a sense of humor? Minivan soccer moms? I simply do not understand the attraction to this at all.


I simply don't understand people who complain about music they don't listen to, or act as if everyone is supposed to have the same taste in things as they do. Seriously, why do you even give a shiat if people like Britney Spears? How exactly does that affect your life?
 
2013-12-29 09:06:06 AM
When that giant ball came down I was hoping she would be riding a motorcycle around inside it like they do at the circus.
 
2013-12-29 09:06:47 AM

ReapTheChaos: darch: I have to ask- seriously and straight up, no joke-

Who buys into this shiat? Who actually goes online and buys a concert ticket? Actually downloads Spears' songs on iTunes? Gay men with a sense of humor? Minivan soccer moms? I simply do not understand the attraction to this at all.

I simply don't understand people who complain about music they don't listen to, or act as if everyone is supposed to have the same taste in things as they do. Seriously, why do you even give a shiat if people like Britney Spears? How exactly does that affect your life?


Leave Britney alone?

Maybe it's because it's music-as-spectacle instead of, you know, talent. Money could be better spent elsewhere instead of perpetuating this pap.
 
2013-12-29 09:12:53 AM

ReapTheChaos: darch: I have to ask- seriously and straight up, no joke-

Who buys into this shiat? Who actually goes online and buys a concert ticket? Actually downloads Spears' songs on iTunes? Gay men with a sense of humor? Minivan soccer moms? I simply do not understand the attraction to this at all.

I simply don't understand people who complain about music they don't listen to, or act as if everyone is supposed to have the same taste in things as they do. Seriously, why do you even give a shiat if people like Britney Spears? How exactly does that affect your life?


Because it's very existance offends me. Does it effect my life? Not really. But Jesus, what a load of total shiat.
 
2013-12-29 09:18:10 AM
Christ that looks terrible.

I personally love pop music, even the cheesiest stuff, if it's done well. And hell, Toxic is a great record.

But trying to still be that Britney when clearly you don't have the body for it is really bad.
 
2013-12-29 09:18:18 AM
Brittney was the best musical artist of the post grunge era. She was the only shining light in pop music between 1995-2005.
 
2013-12-29 09:32:23 AM
I am not a Britney Spears fan, and I hate this kind of music, but I don't see how this is so bad compared to most of the popular music videos out there, etc.
 
2013-12-29 09:36:17 AM
I'd still leap at the chance.
 
2013-12-29 09:41:10 AM
The saddest part is when the camera briefly scanned the front row, everyone had their cell phones up!

I don't care if it's Britney Spears, The Beatles or Jesus Christ, you paid to see the show, and now you're watching it through your phone screen while the act is 10 feet in front of you?  And the recording you're getting SUCKS (like this video!)

You DESERVE to have a bad time
 
2013-12-29 09:43:24 AM

JoeJitsu: When that giant ball came down I was hoping she would be riding a motorcycle around inside it like they do at the circus.


I was hoping for her to perform a Derek Smalls tribute

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-12-29 09:48:34 AM
tvmedia.ign.com

/oblig
 
2013-12-29 10:02:31 AM
Not that I think Britney is a singer or something, but on this microphone and in this environment even a choir of heaven's angels would sound awful.
 
2013-12-29 11:08:05 AM

dkendr: Subby has missed the movie.  Nowadays, Britney is a cough-syrup laden three-toed sloth who needs auto tune even while lip-synching.  Since Sigfried and Roy came within an inch of realizing their full entertainment potential, Vegas has been looking for the next train wreck that can safely be contained in a single amphitheater.  If Britney keeps looking like a stumbling, droning ad for NyQuil, stand by for the two-year engagement of "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" starring Lindsay Lohan, Danny Bonaduce and Flavor Flav as Big Daddy.


I still have hopes of Lindsey Lohan in a remake of "Blade Runner":


img.fark.net

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Pubic lice begging not to be inserted onto Courtney Love's hoo-ha. I watched Britney Spears snort cocaine off of every cock in St. Mary's Cathedral Choir in Sydney, Australia, while they performed Gregorian chants.  All those moments... *PUKES* will be lost in time... like herpes in an acid bath. Time.... to die."
 
2013-12-29 12:19:44 PM
Leave Britney alone!!

/oblig
 
2013-12-29 12:56:51 PM

dkendr: Subby has missed the movie.  Nowadays, Britney is a cough-syrup laden three-toed sloth who needs auto tune even while lip-synching.  Since Sigfried and Roy came within an inch of realizing their full entertainment potential, Vegas has been looking for the next train wreck that can safely be contained in a single amphitheater.  If Britney keeps looking like a stumbling, droning ad for NyQuil, stand by for the two-year engagement of "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" starring Lindsay Lohan, Danny Bonaduce and Flavor Flav as Big Daddy.




Long before the Superdome
Where the Saints of football play...
Lived a city that the damned call home
Hear their hellish rondelet...
New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks and whores
New Orleans!
Tacky overpriced souvenir stores
If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip
To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip'
New Orleans!
Stinking, Rotten, vomiting, vile
New Orleans
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank
New Orleans
 
2013-12-29 12:57:58 PM
Apparently there are large numbers of folks in Vegas with more money than sense and taste. I'd rather pay to take a tour of the sewage treatment plant.

Her dance movements remind me of our dog trying to shake a cling-on off its arse.
 
2013-12-29 01:52:19 PM
I love how everyone's pretending they didn't fap to this.

/just finished...now
 
2013-12-29 02:01:09 PM
Looks like a low volume aerobics course for the elderly.
 
2013-12-29 02:28:41 PM
a) Much better with the sound turned off.
b) Male dancer costumes: Jem Hadar meets Robocop?
c) She could have been doing the sign language interpretation at Nelson Mandela's funeral.
 
2013-12-29 02:38:31 PM
She stole some of those move from "Victory at sea"
I'm positive she signaled the other ship for more 5" shells to be loaded.
 
2013-12-29 02:43:53 PM
Damn, lot of sharp knee haters in this thread.

Look, it was not that bad. She looks good for a mother of two, and any of y'all who pretend you would not in a second, are just fooling yourselves.

I don't think this show is going to last in Vegas, but not for reasons anybody has sited here yet. Vegas is a town that gives first chances and second chances. On the first chance side, we have Matt Goss, Frankie Moreno, Danny Gans. On the 2nd chance side, Look at Frank Sinatra and the rat pack, Donna Summers, Wayne Newton, and Celine Dion to some degree.

There is one underlying theme for the 2nd chancers, being that they could sing. Brittany Spears was never about the singing, it was the entertainment aspect of watching a nubile woman gyrate like a washer with a brick in it wearing little but sequins and shear nylon cat suits. That kind of thing is good if you are 18-22, when you have had 2 kids and getting up there in years, not so much.

If this show is going to make it, she is going to have to sing, and do it well. If not, it will be closed in 6 months.
 
2013-12-29 03:07:06 PM
It's a has-been show...what do you expect? Go to a has-been rock/metal show and you'll see the same thing, though metal guys at 32 still hit it pretty hard, far harder than Britney is doing her schtick.
Looks to me like she needs to get in shape or off the muscle relaxers. Definitely lethargic in her moves...but damn she could climb on me as slow as she wants/needs to.
 
2013-12-29 03:35:05 PM
I was never really a fan, but her Femme Fatale album was a solid piece of work.  I still have it on rotation in the car.
 
2013-12-29 03:50:29 PM
 
2013-12-29 03:51:16 PM
Looked fine to me, weird getup they had the background dancers in though.
 
2013-12-29 03:53:19 PM
Kind of sad to watch.
Main act shouldn't be completely overshadowed by her backup dancers.
Maybe she'll get better over the course of the run, though somehow I doubt it.
 
2013-12-29 04:00:21 PM

darch: ReapTheChaos: darch: I have to ask- seriously and straight up, no joke-

Who buys into this shiat? Who actually goes online and buys a concert ticket? Actually downloads Spears' songs on iTunes? Gay men with a sense of humor? Minivan soccer moms? I simply do not understand the attraction to this at all.

I simply don't understand people who complain about music they don't listen to, or act as if everyone is supposed to have the same taste in things as they do. Seriously, why do you even give a shiat if people like Britney Spears? How exactly does that affect your life?

Because it's very existance offends me. Does it effect my life? Not really. But Jesus, what a load of total shiat.


I gotta go with darch on this. I think it's untalented garbage, yet I don't care what people like. That said, I can still wonder why.
 
2013-12-29 04:06:15 PM

I_C_Weener: Brittney was the best musical artist of the post grunge era. She was the only shining light in pop music between 1995-2005.


She's NOT gonna blow you.
 
2013-12-29 04:10:21 PM
Because it's very existance offends me. Does it effect my life? Not really. But Jesus, what a load of total shiat.

One misspelling, I might have let it go.  But two, plus a grammatical error?  Your trolling is way too obvious.  3/10
 
2013-12-29 04:33:53 PM
She's 32 years old and mother of two kids. Looks pretty damn good to me.
 
2013-12-29 06:34:54 PM

John Buck 41: I_C_Weener: Brittney was the best musical artist of the post grunge era. She was the only shining light in pop music between 1995-2005.

She's NOT gonna blow you.


Hey, lets be honest here, we don't really know that for sure.
 
2013-12-29 07:32:34 PM
You pay actual money to see Britney Speers, you get what you deserve
 
2013-12-29 07:33:10 PM
She's no Alecia Beth Moore  .
 
2013-12-30 12:17:10 AM

qlenfg: Apparently there are large numbers of folks in Vegas with more money than sense and taste.


How do you think Vegas stays open?
 
2013-12-30 02:43:18 AM
Going to Vegas to watch Britney is like going to watch the tiger during Siegfried and Roy.

She's drugged out of her mind, unable to see her kids and unable to think for herself.  Her every movement is dictated by her father, who still holds conservatorship over her.  She's been carted out to rake in more money for her father and her agent, and then put away into her cage for the next show.

You may as well go to the circus to watch the dancing bears.
 
2013-12-30 04:06:42 AM
Oh britney, you have scared everyone from criticizing you so bad that no one told just how BAD that body suit idea was. Listen.. your cute and all.. and I would prolly not kick you out of bed.. but if you can't strut in a 2 piece because of stretch marks or what ever then DO SOMETHING ELSE! Another leather body suit... or raid lady gaga's wardrobe... but dear lord no skin colored body suits!
 
2013-12-30 05:42:51 AM

bingethinker: She's 32 years old and mother of two kids. Looks pretty damn good to me.


Not in that outfit she doesn't. Her costume designer should be burned at the stake. As should her choreographer.
 
2013-12-30 09:33:25 AM

Ed Grubermann: bingethinker: She's 32 years old and mother of two kids. Looks pretty damn good to me.

Not in that outfit she doesn't. Her costume designer should be burned at the stake. As should her choreographer.


I say burned and hanged onstage as a warning to others.
 
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