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(LA Times)   They call it "felony stupid" for a reason   (latimes.com) divider line 54
    More: Amusing, home invasions, felony stupid, suspect arrested, robbery  
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13914 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2013 at 6:43 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-28 06:07:30 PM
Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."
 
2013-12-28 06:50:49 PM

Raddamant: Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."



That's a bad place to hide.
 
2013-12-28 06:53:40 PM
Don't let your participles dangle.
 
2013-12-28 06:57:10 PM

FrancoFile: Raddamant: Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."


That's a bad place to hide.


I dunno, seems pretty good.  Damn canine didn't seem to find him and it was sitting right next to the guy.

\I actually suck at grammar, but I don't do it for a living.
 
2013-12-28 06:59:00 PM

FrancoFile: Raddamant: Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."


That's a bad place to hide.


I'm glad someone else noticed that. This is the farking LA Times. It's not NYT but good god.
 
2013-12-28 07:04:50 PM
They call it grammar stupid too.  "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was discovered by a canine unithiding in the backyard."
 
2013-12-28 07:07:42 PM
Home invasion on a guy monitoring his hi-tech surveillance system?  I'm guessing he did some flushing before calling 911.

Or has a very well hidden safe.
 
2013-12-28 07:09:16 PM

"The two men inside then allegedly told the resident to identify them to police as victims too, and convinced the resident to tie them up in the home, according to police."


So they tried the Joker Plan of deception and posed as hostages. Or is it Quick Change? Either way, plans created by clowns shouldn't be trusted.

 
2013-12-28 07:10:05 PM

pixldoc: They call it grammar stupid too.  "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was discovered by a canine unit,  hiding in the backyard."


Why was the canine unit hiding in the backyard?
 
2013-12-28 07:10:51 PM

Raddamant: Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."


That sentence is pretty clear.  Nobody will read it and think: "the canine unit was positioned in someone's backyard, and the suspect decided to hide next to them."  The meaning is obvious.

It might get marked down on a high school English paper, but in the real world, it's pedant-bait.
 
2013-12-28 07:12:49 PM

Captain Dan: Raddamant: Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."

That sentence is pretty clear.  Nobody will read it and think: "the canine unit was positioned in someone's backyard, and the suspect decided to hide next to them."  The meaning is obvious.

It might get marked down on a high school English paper, but in the real world, it's pedant-bait.


Not hardly. She writes for a living. It's inexcusable.
 
2013-12-28 07:12:50 PM

skinink: "The two men inside then allegedly told the resident to identify them to police as victims too, and convinced the resident to tie them up in the home, according to police."
So they tried the Joker Plan of deception and posed as hostages. Or is it Quick Change? Either way, plans created by clowns shouldn't be trusted.


The houseowner should have said that they needed some sort of convincing wound to really help them get into character of a hostage.
 
2013-12-28 07:13:12 PM
Felinious robbery,,,,,stupid law.

media.heavy.com
 
2013-12-28 07:14:28 PM

skinink: "The two men inside then allegedly told the resident to identify them to police as victims too, and convinced the resident to tie them up in the home, according to police."
So they tried the Joker Plan of deception and posed as hostages. Or is it Quick Change? Either way, plans created by clowns shouldn't be trusted.


I thought Quick Change when I read TFA.

/get your own women!
 
2013-12-28 07:20:38 PM
Would it have been too much for the real victims to roughen up the suspects so for a short while, the police would've saw them as victims as well?  When you want a favor, no one is willing to help you out.  Those guys needed a solid, a solid hit to the head and ribs.
 
2013-12-28 07:21:30 PM

Jill'sNipple: Not hardly. She writes for a living. It's inexcusable.


She writes for a living - so what?  Which of the Ten Commandments was "thou shalt avoid dangling modifiers"?  The purpose of journalistic writing is to communicate information accurately and clearly, not to fret over arbitrary syntactic rules.

/descriptivist 4eva
 
2013-12-28 07:22:28 PM
okay I think these guys needed Yakety Sax for a theme song.
 
2013-12-28 07:25:36 PM
I wonder how much convincing it took.

"Quick, tie us up!"

"Ye- wait, what?"

"Tie us up and tell the cops we're your friends who got robbed with you!"

"Yeah ok, that sounds good. I think they'll buy it. Let's get you fellas tied up."
 
2013-12-28 07:26:47 PM

Captain Dan: Jill'sNipple: Not hardly. She writes for a living. It's inexcusable.

She writes for a living - so what?  Which of the Ten Commandments was "thou shalt avoid dangling modifiers"?  The purpose of journalistic writing is to communicate information accurately and clearly, not to fret over arbitrary syntactic rules.

/descriptivist 4eva


The dangling modifier isn't the problem.  Passive voice (which often leads to dangling modifiers) is the problem.

TFA: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."

Better: "Police arrested those two shortly thereafter, while a canine unit found the fourth suspect hiding in the backyard."
 
2013-12-28 07:32:25 PM
In real life, the cops really don't need Sherlock Holmes.  At least, not when the evil-doers, come out the front door, already tied up.  What's Holmes going to do, point to them, and say, "There are your criminals, old chap!"
 
2013-12-28 07:33:43 PM
author of TFA needs a copy of the Elements of Style
 
2013-12-28 07:34:24 PM

FrancoFile: The dangling modifier isn't the problem.  Passive voice (which often leads to dangling modifiers) is the problem.

TFA: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."
Better: "Police arrested those two shortly thereafter, while a canine unit found the fourth suspect hiding in the backyard."


The passive voice is bad insofar as it saps vitality from writing or produces ambiguity.  Narrative pacing is less of a concern for crime journalism, and there's absolutely no confusion here - nobody thinks that the canine unit is arresting anybody.

I wouldn't nominate this story for a Pulitzer, but it doesn't deserve the grief it's receiving.  Passive voice constructions (when they don't confuse meaning) are minor sins, nothing more.
 
2013-12-28 07:43:13 PM

Captain Dan: FrancoFile: The dangling modifier isn't the problem.  Passive voice (which often leads to dangling modifiers) is the problem.

TFA: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."
Better: "Police arrested those two shortly thereafter, while a canine unit found the fourth suspect hiding in the backyard."

The passive voice is bad insofar as it saps vitality from writing or produces ambiguity.  Narrative pacing is less of a concern for crime journalism, and there's absolutely no confusion here - nobody thinks that the canine unit is arresting anybody.

I wouldn't nominate this story for a Pulitzer, but it doesn't deserve the grief it's receiving.  Passive voice constructions (when they don't confuse meaning) are minor sins, nothing more.


I think passive voice has absolutely no place in news writing.  It makes things sound repetitive and dull, and it doesn't engage the reader. Not to mention that it is habit-forming; the whole point of investigative journalism is to uncover the hidden who, what, and why. Passive voice says "Well, that cruise ship ended up on its side and now there are a bunch of corpses. Huh, isn't that something." Active voice says "The captain broke rules, made bad decisions, and killed people."


/and canine unit typically refers to the team of dog and handler
 
2013-12-28 07:50:54 PM
I thought Quick Change too. But now I'm thinking they should have put bowler hats on everyone.
 
2013-12-28 07:52:46 PM

Captain Dan: Jill'sNipple: Not hardly. She writes for a living. It's inexcusable.

She writes for a living - so what?  Which of the Ten Commandments was "thou shalt avoid dangling modifiers"?  The purpose of journalistic writing is to communicate information accurately and clearly, not to fret over arbitrary syntactic rules.

/descriptivist 4eva


I gotta dangling modifier for you if you know what I mean it by.
 
2013-12-28 08:05:17 PM

FrancoFile: I think passive voice has absolutely no place in news writing.  It makes things sound repetitive and dull, and it doesn't engage the reader. Not to mention that it is habit-forming; the whole point of investigative journalism is to uncover the hidden who, what, and why. Passive voice says "Well, that cruise ship ended up on its side and now there are a bunch of corpses. Huh, isn't that something." Active voice says "The captain broke rules, made bad decisions, and killed people."


I avoid the passive voice as well, but not as an absolute rule.  There's a distinction between "it typically produces muddy writing" and "it's inherently bad, as God instructed Moses on Mt. Horeb, and has no place in writing."

There is no difference in meaning, or reader engagement, between:

(1) Police did not immediately enter the residence, Eisenman said. After some time the suspects "got tired of waiting" and emerged.  They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit

- and -

(2) Police did not immediately enter the residence, Eisenman said. After some time the suspects "got tired of waiting" and emerged.  They were arrested shortly thereafter, and a canine unit found the fourth suspect hiding in the backyard.

In both cases, the writing has made crystal clear what transpired, and engaged the reader at a level appropriate for crime reporting.

/and canine unit typically refers to the team of dog and handler

I didn't know this (TMYK).  Looking back over what I said, it slightly changes my position... but I'm not sure how much.  I'll have to think it over.  My first take is that, given the placement of "police" in the preceding paragraph, it's pretty clear that the police are the arresting force in "they were arrested shortly thereafter."
 
2013-12-28 08:10:12 PM

Jill'sNipple: Captain Dan: Raddamant: Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."

That sentence is pretty clear.  Nobody will read it and think: "the canine unit was positioned in someone's backyard, and the suspect decided to hide next to them."  The meaning is obvious.

It might get marked down on a high school English paper, but in the real world, it's pedant-bait.

Not hardly. She writes for a living. It's inexcusable.


GET A ROPE!
 
2013-12-28 08:10:42 PM

zimbomba63: In real life, the cops really don't need Sherlock Holmes.  At least, not when the evil-doers, come out the front door, already tied up.  What's Holmes going to do, point to them, and say, "There are your criminals, old chap!"


Chicago cop JJ. Bittenbinder: "I never once found out that the guy I had against the wall was Rhodes Scholar."
 
2013-12-28 08:17:37 PM

Captain Dan: Jill'sNipple: Not hardly. She writes for a living. It's inexcusable.

She writes for a living - so what?  Which of the Ten Commandments was "thou shalt avoid dangling modifiers"?  The purpose of journalistic writing is to communicate information accurately and clearly, not to fret over arbitrary syntactic rules.

/descriptivist 4eva


i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-28 08:21:14 PM

FrancoFile: Captain Dan: FrancoFile: The dangling modifier isn't the problem.  Passive voice (which often leads to dangling modifiers) is the problem.

TFA: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."
Better: "Police arrested those two shortly thereafter, while a canine unit found the fourth suspect hiding in the backyard."

The passive voice is bad insofar as it saps vitality from writing or produces ambiguity.  Narrative pacing is less of a concern for crime journalism, and there's absolutely no confusion here - nobody thinks that the canine unit is arresting anybody.

I wouldn't nominate this story for a Pulitzer, but it doesn't deserve the grief it's receiving.  Passive voice constructions (when they don't confuse meaning) are minor sins, nothing more.

I think passive voice has absolutely no place in news writing.  It makes things sound repetitive and dull, and it doesn't engage the reader. Not to mention that it is habit-forming; the whole point of investigative journalism is to uncover the hidden who, what, and why. Passive voice says "Well, that cruise ship ended up on its side and now there are a bunch of corpses. Huh, isn't that something." Active voice says "The captain broke rules, made bad decisions, and killed people."


/and canine unit typically refers to the team of dog and handler


What a canine unit may look like...
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-28 08:25:52 PM
FTA: "Officers recovered a shotgun and three handguns, Eisenman said, but it is unclear whether they were loaded "

I'm sorry.  Why does that matter?  Rule #1. treat every firearm as if it were loaded.
 
2013-12-28 08:33:31 PM

AngryDragon: FTA: "Officers recovered a shotgun and three handguns, Eisenman said, but it is unclear whether they were loaded "

I'm sorry.  Why does that matter?  Rule #1. treat every firearm as if it were loaded.


Well that's another screwup by the reporter.  It's unclear to HER, but somebody for damned sure knows. The criminals and/or homeowner, for starters.

"Officers recovered a shotgun and three handguns, Eisenman said, but he did not disclose whether they were loaded."
".... but he did not know whether they were loaded."
".... but he had conflicting reports about whether they were loaded."
 
2013-12-28 08:34:13 PM

AngryDragon: FTA: "Officers recovered a shotgun and three handguns, Eisenman said, but it is unclear whether they were loaded "

I'm sorry.  Why does that matter?  Rule #1. treat every firearm as if it were loaded.


Maybe they were talking about the officers.  I think we can agree, sober or drunk, they did a good job.
 
2013-12-28 08:42:11 PM

AngryDragon: FTA: "Officers recovered a shotgun and three handguns, Eisenman said, but it is unclear whether they were loaded "

I'm sorry.  Why does that matter?  Rule #1. treat every firearm as if it were loaded.


Establishes intent. Were they scaring/intimidating people or were they ready to kill people?
 
2013-12-28 08:46:35 PM

ReverendJynxed: AngryDragon: FTA: "Officers recovered a shotgun and three handguns, Eisenman said, but it is unclear whether they were loaded "

I'm sorry.  Why does that matter?  Rule #1. treat every firearm as if it were loaded.

Establishes intent. Were they scaring/intimidating people or were they ready to kill people?


Legally it doesn't matter. If you're using a threat of force to compel someone to do something, then whether you ACTUALLY intend to use that force is immaterial. Threatening someone with an unloaded gun, in most jurisdictions, is assault with a deadly weapon (or whatever the analogue of that crime might be)... just like threatening someone with a loaded gun. There's no way for the victim of the crime to know whether it's loaded or not or whether you would actually shoot them or not. Even if you wouldn't, you're trying to convince them you would. The ultimate effect is the same.

It's only mentioned as a loose fact because the reporter thought it mattered. It doesn't.
 
2013-12-28 08:53:25 PM

FrancoFile: /and canine unit typically refers to the team of dog and handler


------

Rule 34 begs to differ
 
2013-12-28 09:56:17 PM
Who are this "they"?
 
2013-12-28 10:01:15 PM

FrancoFile: Captain Dan: FrancoFile: The dangling modifier isn't the problem.  Passive voice (which often leads to dangling modifiers) is the problem.

TFA: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."
Better: "Police arrested those two shortly thereafter, while a canine unit found the fourth suspect hiding in the backyard."

The passive voice is bad insofar as it saps vitality from writing or produces ambiguity.  Narrative pacing is less of a concern for crime journalism, and there's absolutely no confusion here - nobody thinks that the canine unit is arresting anybody.

I wouldn't nominate this story for a Pulitzer, but it doesn't deserve the grief it's receiving.  Passive voice constructions (when they don't confuse meaning) are minor sins, nothing more.

I think passive voice has absolutely no place in news writing.  It makes things sound repetitive and dull, and it doesn't engage the reader. Not to mention that it is habit-forming; the whole point of investigative journalism is to uncover the hidden who, what, and why. Passive voice says "Well, that cruise ship ended up on its side and now there are a bunch of corpses. Huh, isn't that something." Active voice says "The captain broke rules, made bad decisions, and killed people."


/and canine unit typically refers to the team of dog and handler


Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated today by persons unknown.

Sure, that's much worse than: "Persons unknown assassinated Archduke Ferdinand today." [/sarcasm]

/passive has its place, and is very useful when the object of the verb's action is much more important than the subject (or when the subject is unknown).
 
2013-12-28 10:17:14 PM

Bucky Katt: Who are this "they"?


They is that those whom they were.
 
2013-12-28 10:27:14 PM

somemoron: FrancoFile: Raddamant: Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."


That's a bad place to hide.

I dunno, seems pretty good.  Damn canine didn't seem to find him and it was sitting right next to the guy.

\I actually suck at grammar, but I don't do it for a living.


Dogs are not humans. Even if they know you're there they don't always care.

Rape, murder, arson: dog don't care.

Running away or having touched a cat recently? DEATH!
 
2013-12-28 10:28:37 PM
Honestly, I think they were just worried the SWAT teams would shoot them on sight because they were reported as armed, so they wanted a way to be quietly arrested instead. They would have to be completely brain dead to believe they could get away Scott free using this plan, but as a plan to just not get shot while SWAT raided the place, it's not so bad.
 
2013-12-28 10:54:09 PM
this so reminds me of the guy who robbed a chuck e cheese, he shows up with his gf and her kid, they stay for about 2 hours ordering pizza and tokens all while on camera. He leaves the place after 2 hours, goes to a car, then walks back in with a blue bandana on his head and a gun. The cashier gives him the money without anyone noticing and leaves. Fast forward when the cops arrive, the guy who gave the register over has a blue bandana in his back pocket.... Both males are black, lets do some simple math! They were both cousins, the one having a birth day party just bonded out of jail and needed some cash! lets score and split the money.

How the hell do you have 3 felony charges and not even 17 yet? apparently 3 time felons not even 17 can work at chuck e cheese, yet the guy who robbed the place came out of prison after 4 years! he was just arrested for retail thief and just out on bond.


Only in florida...
 
2013-12-28 10:56:31 PM

maddermaxx: Honestly, I think they were just worried the SWAT teams would shoot them on sight because they were reported as armed, so they wanted a way to be quietly arrested instead. They would have to be completely brain dead to believe they could get away Scott free using this plan, but as a plan to just not get shot while SWAT raided the place, it's not so bad.


I would think that, if only they weren't criminals. No criminals are that smart.
 
2013-12-28 11:37:46 PM

Captain Dan: Raddamant: Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."

That sentence is pretty clear.  Nobody will read it and think: "the canine unit was positioned in someone's backyard, and the suspect decided to hide next to them."  The meaning is obvious.

It might get marked down on a high school English paper, but in the real world, it's pedant-bait.


It's perfectly grammatical.  Certain people on the internet like to pretend that context can never be used to clarify meaning.
 
2013-12-29 01:14:14 AM

Captain Dan: Jill'sNipple: Not hardly. She writes for a living. It's inexcusable.

She writes for a living - so what?  Which of the Ten Commandments was "thou shalt avoid dangling modifiers"?  The purpose of journalistic writing is to communicate information accurately and clearly, not to fret over arbitrary syntactic rules.

/descriptivist 4eva


that we are discussing this implies the meaning wasn't clear. or that some farkers are nit pickers.

personally i figured it out almost immediately. but i shouldn't have to figure it out.
 
2013-12-29 01:28:54 AM

Captain Dan: Raddamant: Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."

That sentence is pretty clear.  Nobody will read it and think: "the canine unit was positioned in someone's backyard, and the suspect decided to hide next to them."  The meaning is obvious.

It might get marked down on a high school English paper, but in the real world, it's pedant-bait.


If it were to mean as the grammar nazis wish, it would read "... and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard beside a canine unit."

However, they do have a point. The sentence could have been constructed better with the existing words.
 
2013-12-29 02:34:26 AM
"They came out, still tied up, thinking that we were going to believe they were victims also," Eisenman said. "That's what you call felony stupid."

The fact that the cops didn't go arrest them as soon as the resident told them "they are in my house, tied up" also sounds pretty damn stupid, so I'm not sure you have a lot of room to talk, Eisenman.
 
2013-12-29 02:36:23 AM
Judging from what the article said, I'm a little surprised that at least one of those dumbasses didn't end up shooting out his eye.
 
2013-12-29 02:42:29 AM

Raddamant: Felony stupid goes for the twatwaffle who wrote this sentence: "They were arrested shortly thereafter, and the fourth suspect was found hiding in the backyard by a canine unit."


was it that difficult for you to understand ? my sympathies,
 
2013-12-29 03:14:36 AM

JuggleGeek: "They came out, still tied up, thinking that we were going to believe they were victims also," Eisenman said. "That's what you call felony stupid."

The fact that the cops didn't go arrest them as soon as the resident told them "they are in my house, tied up" also sounds pretty damn stupid, so I'm not sure you have a lot of room to talk, Eisenman.


They all came out together. So be careful about casting aspersions.
 
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