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(Slate)   "If your business is a seafood themed restaurant that charges outrageous prices for food and your best food is a cheddar biscuit, you have a problem"   (slate.com) divider line 285
    More: Followup, casual dining, Red Lobster  
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15576 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2013 at 12:41 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



285 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-28 10:49:14 AM
The long term problem with seafood is that it is completely unsustainable. We're destroying the oceans, and its quickly building to a crisis point.
 
2013-12-28 11:01:55 AM
Actually on paper Red Lobster should be doing very well. Of course who knows what shenanigans the company that owns them is doing.
 
2013-12-28 11:03:32 AM
And you don't even have to go to Red Lobster to get the biscuits. You can pick up a box of this stuff pretty much anywhere nowadays:

www.inforum.com

Protip: Add half again the amount of cheese the recipe calls for and enjoy.
 
2013-12-28 11:11:24 AM
Those biscuits wouldn't fit in at a Texas themed pseudo steakhouse any more than they do at a pseudo seafood restaurant.
 
2013-12-28 11:50:04 AM
I am going to guess that in the coming weeks sales at Red Lobsters nationwide are going skyrocket.  Interestingly enough the stock price for Charmin is going make a respectable climb too.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-12-28 11:51:26 AM
Just add more butter and salt to everything...
 
2013-12-28 11:51:50 AM
But it's such a fancy place.
 
2013-12-28 11:55:36 AM

vernonFL: The long term problem with seafood is that it is completely unsustainable. We're destroying the oceans, and its quickly building to a crisis point.


Seafood isn't unsustainable, just certain fishing practices and continued focus on overfished species.

There are plenty of delicious critters in the ocean that have more than healthy populations. Eating the less well-known fish, and fishing for them using methods that don't destroy the seabed or result in tons of bycatch, would allow the overfished and vulerable species to recover.

Plus, there are some nice gains being made in aquaculture. Shellfish, especially bivalves like mussels, oysters, and clams, are very well suited to environmentally and economically sustainable aquaculture. Mussel farms usually make the water they're in cleaner than it would be without them.
 
2013-12-28 12:02:50 PM
You can also make cheddar biscuits from scratch. It's really not that hard. Even the "secret seasonings" sprinkled on top at RL aren't that secret: just a mix of garlic powder, onion powder, salt and parsley flakes. The real "trick" is to mix the seasonings with melted butter and brush on top of the biscuits. That's what makes them taste just like the "real" ones at RL.

scontent-a-atl.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-12-28 12:15:01 PM
Those chefs train for years to throw frozen bags in pots of boiling water for the most discerning senior citizens and parents of colicky babies
 
2013-12-28 12:26:59 PM
Fark you, subs.

Actual quote:  If your business is a seafood themed restaurant that charges a modest price premium to its key competitors, then your best dish had better be seafood.

That said, the cheddar biscuits are good.  But you can make them at home very easily.  Takes about 15 minutes total.

Yummous.
 
2013-12-28 12:28:04 PM

twistedmetal: But it's such a fancy place.


You're thinking of the Olive garden.
 
2013-12-28 12:33:38 PM

vernonFL: The long term problem with seafood is that it is completely unsustainable. We're destroying the oceans, and its quickly building to a crisis point.


The fun really starts when the pH drops too low for crustaceans to form.  Ocean acidification is always associated with an extinction event.
 
2013-12-28 12:43:45 PM
I worked at red lobster 15 years ago and I'm still cleaning butter out of my hair. The creepy thing is that I've shaved my head for the past three years.
 
2013-12-28 12:46:16 PM
They are WAAAY too proud of that food based on the prices they charge. Will never go back.
 
2013-12-28 12:46:54 PM
Sounds like they're suffering from the Curse of Cheddar Bay.
 
2013-12-28 12:47:27 PM

Man On A Mission: And you don't even have to go to Red Lobster to get the biscuits. You can pick up a box of this stuff pretty much anywhere nowadays:

[www.inforum.com image 500x500]

Protip: Add half again the amount of cheese the recipe calls for and enjoy.


The Devil, in a box.
 
2013-12-28 12:48:33 PM
Thanks, informative news article! I learned something today. Apparently, lobsters ain't biscuits. Who could have possibly known? Thanks, Obama!

/ I enjoy red lobster's Chicken Marsala; but, I bet someone will be along to tell me that chicken ain't lobster.
 
2013-12-28 12:52:52 PM
I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?
 
2013-12-28 12:52:52 PM
"Don't feed her the cheddar biscuits granddaaaaad!" :(
 
2013-12-28 12:53:37 PM

Cake Hunter: I worked at red lobster 15 years ago and I'm still cleaning butter out of my hair. The creepy thing is that I've shaved my head for the past three years.


I've got bad news for you, Magellan, that ain't butter.
 
2013-12-28 12:54:04 PM
I never understood why Red Lobster is still in business. They charge the same price as decent restaurants but sell overcooked, over-salted, greasy food prepared by high-school students and served in a room with all the charm of a university meal hall.
 
2013-12-28 12:54:15 PM

minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?


The taste of quality food at fair prices.
 
2013-12-28 12:54:42 PM

minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?


Taste buds?
 
2013-12-28 12:55:17 PM

iheartscotch: Thanks, informative news article! I learned something today. Apparently, lobsters ain't biscuits. Who could have possibly known? Thanks, Obama!

/ I enjoy red lobster's Chicken Marsala; but, I bet someone will be along to tell me that chicken ain't lobster.


Protip: chicken isn't lobster.
 
2013-12-28 12:55:22 PM

whatshisname: I never understood why Red Lobster is still in business. They charge the same price as decent restaurants but sell overcooked, over-salted, greasy food prepared by high-school students and served in a room with all the charm of a university meal hall.


Listen, you still have to dress up if you are going, so quit yer biaching.
 
2013-12-28 12:55:35 PM

iheartscotch: Cake Hunter: I worked at red lobster 15 years ago and I'm still cleaning butter out of my hair. The creepy thing is that I've shaved my head for the past three years.

I've got bad news for you, Magellan, that ain't butter.


Magellan?
 
2013-12-28 12:55:38 PM
Last time I was in a RL, the shrimp were the size of the last third of my little finger, the food was barely warm and the white trash all around us means ... never ever again.
 
2013-12-28 12:55:40 PM

minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?


There are more and better local restaurants that keep the money in your city/town.
 
2013-12-28 12:56:23 PM
Can't believe I'm the first to mention that Cheddar Bay biscuit mix can be bought in the store now.

:p
 
2013-12-28 12:56:24 PM

snocone: whatshisname: I never understood why Red Lobster is still in business. They charge the same price as decent restaurants but sell overcooked, over-salted, greasy food prepared by high-school students and served in a room with all the charm of a university meal hall.

Listen, you still have to dress up if you are going, so quit yer biaching.


Why, it's not like I'm going to Wal-Mart.
 
2013-12-28 12:57:53 PM

minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?


BTW, very subtle trolling. Well done!
 
2013-12-28 12:57:59 PM
Seafood gives me hives.
 
2013-12-28 12:58:14 PM
I think Red Lobster has decent enough food. Maybe a bit overpriced, but it certainly isn't slop. Don't really care to eat their, personally. Olive Garden has really good food that I can't stand because I detest Italian food for the most part.

I'm more for steak or sushi restaurants. Not steak AND sushi... that's just nasty. I tend to frequent the small non-franchised seafood places, too, when I can find them.
 
2013-12-28 12:58:20 PM

iheartscotch: Thanks, informative news article! I learned something today. Apparently, lobsters ain't biscuits. Who could have possibly known? Thanks, Obama!

/ I enjoy red lobster's Chicken Marsala; but, I bet someone will be along to tell me that chicken ain't lobster.


In the industry, small 1# lobsters are known as "Chicken Lobsters"
 
2013-12-28 12:58:23 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: But you can make them at home very easily.


Don't be silly.  Cooking is for poors.
 
2013-12-28 12:59:47 PM
cdn.uproxx.com
 
2013-12-28 12:59:59 PM

whatshisname: minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?

Taste buds?


I guess that's it. I get by on a pretty plain, simple diet. Most restaurants are overpowering to my taste buds, too much of everything. But Red Lobster is ok.
 
2013-12-28 01:00:10 PM

minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?


Because shiat like this, which is the furthest thing you can get from Italian food:
www.olivegarden.com
 
2013-12-28 01:00:27 PM
...

*there*

Sorry. SORRY EVERYONE!
 
2013-12-28 01:00:29 PM

minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?


tastebuds
 
2013-12-28 01:01:03 PM

minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?


It's the Nickleback phenomenon. The interwebz told them to hate on it, so they hate on it.
 
2013-12-28 01:01:04 PM
They used to make this deviled crab stuff that was friggin awesome!  Langostino Nachos were delish as well. But haven't seen those in a looonnggg time.  We do the annual 'Red Lobster' dinner for my nephew's birthday, because he's 11.  But something has definitely changed with the over the years.  (It's a crime what they do to scallops, though.)
 
2013-12-28 01:01:36 PM

minuslars: whatshisname: minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?

Taste buds?

I guess that's it. I get by on a pretty plain, simple diet. Most restaurants are overpowering to my taste buds, too much of everything. But Red Lobster is ok.


You must be very easy, and very boring, to cook for.
 
2013-12-28 01:01:50 PM

Endive Wombat: minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?

Because shiat like this, which is the furthest thing you can get from Italian food:
[www.olivegarden.com image 480x481]


LOL. ok, that's a well-deserved hate.

/been to Olive Garden once...
 
2013-12-28 01:01:59 PM

cameroncrazy1984: minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?

There are more and better local restaurants that keep the money in your city/town.


Maybe. There are a lot of culinary wastelands in this country. I visited relatives in east Tennessee, and your options are fantastic BBQ, fantastic fried chicken, and absolutely nothing else. Domino's Pizza and Burger King. Maybe a Ruby Tuesday's, if you drive long enough. That's it. And boiled peanuts.
 
2013-12-28 01:01:59 PM

minuslars: whatshisname: minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?

Taste buds?

I guess that's it. I get by on a pretty plain, simple diet. Most restaurants are overpowering to my taste buds, too much of everything. But Red Lobster is ok.


So, you were serious. Sorry :/
 
2013-12-28 01:02:42 PM

iheartscotch: Thanks, informative news article! I learned something today. Apparently, lobsters ain't biscuits. Who could have possibly known? Thanks, Obama!

/ I enjoy red lobster's Chicken Marsala; but, I bet someone will be along to tell me that chicken ain't lobster.


Chicken and biscuits aren't seafood and it's not a positive sign for a company's most popular items to be different from the focus of the branding and promotions.  Imagine what McDonald's would be like if you wrote an article about how bad their food was and all the reader replies were about how good the salads were.  That's what Red Lobster is like now.
 
2013-12-28 01:03:30 PM

minuslars: I don't get the Red Lobster / Olive Garden hate. What am I missing?


This is Fark. Those places are very popular with average Americans. Thus, they suck.

It's fun to be an elitist prick on the Internet. Nobody can punch you in the face.
 
2013-12-28 01:03:33 PM
In all my life I've never heard someone say "Let's go to Red Lobster." Red Lobster is what you settle for when you're stuck in a podunk town and all the other restaurants have an hour wait.

ElLoco: I think Red Lobster has decent enough food. Maybe a bit overpriced, but it certainly isn't slop. Don't really care to eat their, personally. Olive Garden has really good food that I can't stand because I detest Italian food for the most part.


This must be satire.
 
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