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(Siberian Times)   Archaeologists find couple married for 3500 years. Or maybe it just seemed that long   (siberiantimes.com) divider line 19
    More: Unlikely, archaeologists, Bronze Age, confluence, Novosibirsk  
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7824 clicks; posted to Geek » on 28 Dec 2013 at 2:36 AM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



19 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-28 02:58:19 AM
In case anyone is wondering, the black lines running through some skeletons are gopher tunnels.  When a body is decomposing, or has decomposed, it loosens the soil in the area. This makes it easier to dig.  The discoloration comes from the later infilling of different soil.  Archaeologists farking HATE gopherage. Not only do those little monsters eat through important contexts, they also drag interesting artifacts into their tunnels.  Once something is in a gopher tunnel, the actual provenience or context cannot be determined. We then have an artifact that cannot be correlated to our stratigraphy.  Furry little bastards.
 
2013-12-28 03:26:48 AM
www.amworkout.com
 
2013-12-28 03:28:39 AM
That earned a lawl, subby
 
2013-12-28 04:19:03 AM
That's a long time to be married. I thought 5 years was forever.
 
2013-12-28 04:38:42 AM
Five, fifty, thirty-five hundred? You're married, it's walking death anyway.
 
2013-12-28 05:02:23 AM
24.media.tumblr.com: ♫'post-mortal hugs with bony hands clasped together♫
 
2013-12-28 05:04:34 AM
Holding each other in a loving embrace? That was his mistress, not his wife.
Stupid egghead science guys.
 
2013-12-28 05:19:48 AM

BACK IN THE DAY


oi41.tinypic.com


CAT-FIGHTS ACTUALLY MEANT DEATH

 
2013-12-28 09:47:27 AM
The scientists really can't come up with a coherent explanation for why they appeared to die and to be buried at the same time? REALLY? Dude...it's farking Siberia! The ground...and everything else is frozen half the year. If a couple died at different times over a winter, say, the ground is too hard to dig a grave in until later in the spring. In the meantime the couple freeze solid in whatever position they're stored in shortly after death. In the spring a grave is dug and the couple are interred in whatever position strikes the fancy of the village, and 3500 years later  That One Weird TrickTM baffles scientists.
 
2013-12-28 12:36:06 PM
It never ceases to amaze me how these assholes think it's ok to dig up peoples graves because "science", this is why I'm going to be cremated, farking disrespectful pieces of shiat.
 
2013-12-28 12:39:58 PM

Agarista: In case anyone is wondering, the black lines running through some skeletons are gopher tunnels.  When a body is decomposing, or has decomposed, it loosens the soil in the area. This makes it easier to dig.  The discoloration comes from the later infilling of different soil.  Archaeologists farking HATE gopherage. Not only do those little monsters eat through important contexts, they also drag interesting artifacts into their tunnels.  Once something is in a gopher tunnel, the actual provenience or context cannot be determined. We then have an artifact that cannot be correlated to our stratigraphy.  Furry little bastards.


It would be hilarious if they found a gopher skeleton lodged this this dude's mouth:

siberiantimes.com
 
2013-12-28 07:18:38 PM

LrdPhoenix: It would be hilarious if they found a gopher skeleton lodged this this dude's mouth ass

FTFY
 
2013-12-28 08:35:25 PM

Agarista: In case anyone is wondering, the black lines running through some skeletons are gopher tunnels.  When a body is decomposing, or has decomposed, it loosens the soil in the area. This makes it easier to dig.  The discoloration comes from the later infilling of different soil.  Archaeologists farking HATE gopherage. Not only do those little monsters eat through important contexts, they also drag interesting artifacts into their tunnels.  Once something is in a gopher tunnel, the actual provenience or context cannot be determined. We then have an artifact that cannot be correlated to our stratigraphy.  Furry little bastards.


img.fark.net
Has a solution to your gopher problem
 
2013-12-28 09:18:11 PM

ReapTheChaos: It never ceases to amaze me how these assholes think it's ok to dig up peoples graves because "science", this is why I'm going to be cremated, farking disrespectful pieces of shiat.


Well, if the ashes you willed to be spread in a national park are actually dumped a meter beyond the parking lot so your ungrateful relatives can get back into town for a beer, you could still end up as part of the record.

...been there, done that.
 
2013-12-28 09:18:21 PM

ReapTheChaos: It never ceases to amaze me how these assholes think it's ok to dig up peoples graves because "science", this is why I'm going to be cremated, farking disrespectful pieces of shiat.


What's the statute of limitations for digging in the ground?
 
2013-12-29 07:54:23 AM

Tsar_Bomba1:


So is that the artists composite of the fat guy inexplicably married to a smoking hot redhead?
 
2013-12-29 10:12:57 AM
This one deserves a photoshop contest.
 
2013-12-29 03:18:00 PM

Stone Meadow: The scientists really can't come up with a coherent explanation for why they appeared to die and to be buried at the same time? REALLY? Dude...it's farking Siberia! The ground...and everything else is frozen half the year. If a couple died at different times over a winter, say, the ground is too hard to dig a grave in until later in the spring. In the meantime the couple freeze solid in whatever position they're stored in shortly after death. In the spring a grave is dug and the couple are interred in whatever position strikes the fancy of the village, and 3500 years later  That One Weird TrickTM baffles scientists.


Not to mention the fact that contagions often wiped out whole families.
 
2013-12-29 04:56:58 PM

RedVentrue: Stone Meadow: The scientists really can't come up with a coherent explanation for why they appeared to die and to be buried at the same time? REALLY? Dude...it's farking Siberia! The ground...and everything else is frozen half the year. If a couple died at different times over a winter, say, the ground is too hard to dig a grave in until later in the spring. In the meantime the couple freeze solid in whatever position they're stored in shortly after death. In the spring a grave is dug and the couple are interred in whatever position strikes the fancy of the village, and 3500 years later  That One Weird TrickTM baffles scientists.

Not to mention the fact that contagions often wiped out whole families.


And if you're living in a paleolithic band, it's not as if you have a surplus of females that you can just cut down a few so they can be interred with the latest male corpse.
 
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