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(Slate)   A list of things to do while you're faking work that somehow all manage to be worse than the work you're already not doing   (slate.com) divider line 30
    More: Fail, Josh Levin  
•       •       •

8284 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2013 at 12:34 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-27 12:17:12 PM
Sometimes I do the beginning of the thread with the word of the wisdom for all but for the story which has the linkage here all I can say about it is WT THE F? Is this like the paid sponsor or something? What the f*cking retardation of the article. I can save you all the time for reading...here are the suggestions of it:

1. Do the office cleanse.
2. Read some stupid sh*t.
3. Read more stupid sh*t.
4. Buy sh*t from the sponsor.
5. Write the letter to the asshole.
6. Go to the organic prostitution store.
7. Work.

Really I am not making the joke the headline of this is just as stupid as the actual article. Please I beg for you save the self the time and do not read that shiat. I was just here to be the provisional helper. Feel free to express the gratitude.
 
ecl
2013-12-27 12:38:27 PM

meow said the dog: Sometimes I do the beginning of the thread with the word of the wisdom for all but for the story which has the linkage here all I can say about it is WT THE F? Is this like the paid sponsor or something? What the f*cking retardation of the article. I can save you all the time for reading...here are the suggestions of it:

1. Do the office cleanse.
2. Read some stupid sh*t.
3. Read more stupid sh*t.
4. Buy sh*t from the sponsor.
5. Write the letter to the asshole.
6. Go to the organic prostitution store.
7. Work.

Really I am not making the joke the headline of this is just as stupid as the actual article. Please I beg for you save the self the time and do not read that shiat. I was just here to be the provisional helper. Feel free to express the gratitude.


I clicked link before comments and I'm poorer for it.
 
2013-12-27 12:48:43 PM
No.8 - Log on to FARK.
 
2013-12-27 12:49:03 PM

meow said the dog: 6. Go to the organic prostitution store.


And that's why you're in green.

/Artisanal Organic Prostitutes would be a great name for a hipster punk band
 
2013-12-27 12:49:29 PM
I used to be able to blow a whole day by just walking around with a clipboard in my hand. I'd occasionally stop and write something down and then go back to wandering around.
 
2013-12-27 12:50:11 PM
Did all the journalists with decent writing skills die or something?
 
2013-12-27 12:55:31 PM
Faking work is more work than actually working.  It causes way more stress and anxiety and is way more tiring imo.
 
2013-12-27 12:56:48 PM

ReapTheChaos: I used to be able to blow a whole day by just walking around with a clipboard in my hand. I'd occasionally stop and write something down and then go back to wandering around.


Heh. I think you and I went to the same management course.
 
2013-12-27 01:00:32 PM

ReapTheChaos: I used to be able to blow a whole day by just walking around with a clipboard in my hand. I'd occasionally stop and write something down and then go back to wandering around.


I wish I had the gall to do stuff like that. I'm always nervous that someone is going to call me out on slacking off so I end up doing a bunch of work to "cover."
 
2013-12-27 01:01:37 PM
Headline = headache!

TOEFL
 
2013-12-27 01:01:38 PM
Must be nice to do nothing when co-workers call in sick.

In the real world when farker co-workers call in sick the rest of us have to do their work in addition to our own.
 
2013-12-27 01:07:44 PM
Read some listicles. Lick some testicles.

FTFY
 
2013-12-27 01:30:01 PM

meow said the dog: Sometimes I do the beginning of the thread with the word of the wisdom for all but for the story which has the linkage here all I can say about it is WT THE F? Is this like the paid sponsor or something? What the f*cking retardation of the article. I can save you all the time for reading...here are the suggestions of it:

1. Do the office cleanse.
2. Read some stupid sh*t.
3. Read more stupid sh*t.
4. Buy sh*t from the sponsor.
5. Write the letter to the asshole.
6. Go to the organic prostitution store.
7. Work.

Really I am not making the joke the headline of this is just as stupid as the actual article. Please I beg for you save the self the time and do not read that shiat. I was just here to be the provisional helper. Feel free to express the gratitude.


I am glad I came here first. Thank you.
 
2013-12-27 01:39:24 PM
If you feel the need to fake work get a new job, life is way too short to spend most of it doing stuff you don't enjoy.
 
2013-12-27 01:39:41 PM

grinding_journalist: /Artisanal Organic Prostitutes would be a great name for a hipster punk band


You won't have something against Cheap Industrial Prostitutes?
 
2013-12-27 01:40:38 PM

ReapTheChaos: I used to be able to blow a whole day by just walking around with a clipboard in my hand. I'd occasionally stop and write something down and then go back to wandering around.


Came to say this, and looking pissed off helps also.
 
2013-12-27 01:42:45 PM

meow said the dog: Sometimes I do the beginning of the thread with the word of the wisdom for all but for the story which has the linkage here all I can say about it is WT THE F? Is this like the paid sponsor or something? What the f*cking retardation of the article. I can save you all the time for reading...here are the suggestions of it:

1. Do the office cleanse.
2. Read some stupid sh*t.
3. Read more stupid sh*t.
4. Buy sh*t from the sponsor.
5. Write the letter to the asshole.
6. Go to the organic prostitution store.
7. Work.

Really I am not making the joke the headline of this is just as stupid as the actual article. Please I beg for you save the self the time and do not read that shiat. I was just here to be the provisional helper. Feel free to express the gratitude.


If meow said the dog, what said the fox?
 
2013-12-27 01:54:17 PM

ReapTheChaos: I used to be able to blow a whole day by just walking around with a clipboard in my hand. I'd occasionally stop and write something down and then go back to wandering around.


At one point in my life, that was my actual job.

/Checking gauges and valves for 3 hours at a time made for a long day
//Don't understand why people slack idly. Time flies when you are actually doing something
 
2013-12-27 02:03:44 PM

meow said the dog: Sometimes I do the beginning of the thread with the word of the wisdom for all but for the story which has the linkage here all I can say about it is WT THE F? Is this like the paid sponsor or something? What the f*cking retardation of the article. I can save you all the time for reading...here are the suggestions of it:

1. Do the office cleanse.
2. Read some stupid sh*t.
3. Read more stupid sh*t.
4. Buy sh*t from the sponsor.
5. Write the letter to the asshole.
6. Go to the organic prostitution store.
7. Work.

Really I am not making the joke the headline of this is just as stupid as the actual article. Please I beg for you save the self the time and do not read that shiat. I was just here to be the provisional helper. Feel free to express the gratitude.


Ahhh, classic MSTD.
 
2013-12-27 02:06:14 PM

RembrandtQEinstein: If you feel the need to fake work get a new job, life is way too short to spend most of it doing stuff you don't enjoy.


I only really enjoy sex, watching Liverpool, and playing video games...

... my choice of careers is limited.
 
2013-12-27 02:26:15 PM
Play WoW.
 
2013-12-27 03:23:21 PM

RembrandtQEinstein: If you feel the need to fake work get a new job, life is way too short to spend most of it doing stuff you don't enjoy.


I do work I hate because it provides a steady, good income so I can take care of my wife and kids.
 
2013-12-27 03:32:16 PM
'Hicks, how come you're not working?'
 'There's nothing to do.'
'Well, you pretend like you're working.'
'Well, why don't you pretend I'm working? Yeah, you get paid more than me, you fantasise. Pretend I'm mopping. Knock yourself out. I'll pretend they're buying stuff; we can close up. I'm the boss now, you're fired. How's that? I'm on a farking roll. We're all millionaires and you're a dick. I'm pretending shiat, I'm wacky, I can't be stopped.'
 
2013-12-27 03:38:11 PM
I can get most of what I have to do done real quick. And over the day at certain times I would have to do certain tasks. I hate asking bosses for work because they will usually just give you some busy work. So I just look busy and tell my guys to look busy and as long as they got their work done and didnt fall asleep I was fine with it.
 
2013-12-27 03:50:47 PM
I don't get it. If there is work to be done, do it. Time passes better that way. If the work is finished, slack off and make no apologies for doing nothing. Trying to look busy is more stressful than just working.

Also these articles assume office jobs. But I didn't read it; TVM Meow
 
2013-12-27 04:09:50 PM

powtard: Faking work is more work than actually working.  It causes way more stress and anxiety and is way more tiring imo.


so much this.  Or worse, having an extremely inefficient work process like the health insurance company I worked for 20 years ago.  Data entry, no other duties even remotely available, just one of an infinite number of monkeys on keyboards in a cavernous room.  You put in the patient ID number, hit 'enter', 4-18 minutes later (their timing, not exaggerating), the system would either return with a prompt for more information or an error message.  It was almost comical.  All the terminals were linked.  When the prompt came back, the terminals would beep, there would be a clattering of keys and then, nothing.  If we were lucky, the system did not crash but that happened at least 2 to 3 days a week.  We were on first at EST, then the CST time people got on and the system bogged down, then the MST people got on and it slowed even more.  Once the west coast got on, it was a slog fest.  The late mornings and afternoons dragged on in a stygian horror show.  It got to the point where you had to suppress the urge to cheer when the system crashed and they sent you home after sitting for 90 minutes doing absolutely nothing.  We had to feign disappointment, that was hard, really hard.
 
2013-12-27 04:57:11 PM

meow said the dog: Please I beg for you save the self the time and do not read that shiat


Didn't work...still got 4500 clicks. Better luck next time.
 
2013-12-27 05:34:45 PM

meow said the dog: Sometimes I do the beginning of the thread with the word of the wisdom for all but for the story which has the linkage here all I can say about it is WT THE F? Is this like the paid sponsor or something? What the f*cking retardation of the article. I can save you all the time for reading...here are the suggestions of it:

1. Do the office cleanse.
2. Read some stupid sh*t.
3. Read more stupid sh*t.
4. Buy sh*t from the sponsor.
5. Write the letter to the asshole.
6. Go to the organic prostitution store.
7. Work.

Really I am not making the joke the headline of this is just as stupid as the actual article. Please I beg for you save the self the time and do not read that shiat. I was just here to be the provisional helper. Feel free to express the gratitude.


This was so totally normal sounding to me this morning when I read it half awake, I didn't even realize who wrote it.

I did go read the article after reading your warning. I'll listen next time. The "article" was worse than expected.
 
2013-12-27 07:49:08 PM
WHAT. THE fark. IS A 'LISTICLE'?
 
2013-12-27 08:51:36 PM

meow said the dog: Sometimes I do the beginning of the thread with the word of the wisdom for all but for the story which has the linkage here all I can say about it is WT THE F? Is this like the paid sponsor or something? What the f*cking retardation of the article. I can save you all the time for reading...here are the suggestions of it:

1. Do the office cleanse.
2. Read some stupid sh*t.
3. Read more stupid sh*t.
4. Buy sh*t from the sponsor.
5. Write the letter to the asshole.
6. Go to the organic prostitution store.
7. Work.

Really I am not making the joke the headline of this is just as stupid as the actual article. Please I beg for you save the self the time and do not read that shiat. I was just here to be the provisional helper. Feel free to express the gratitude.


The gratitude.
 
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