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(Consumer Reports)   Congratulations on the purchase of your new toaster. Now fill in the warranty registration card and don't forget to list your income, education, hobbies, and car   (consumerreports.org) divider line 53
    More: Asinine, National Consumer Law Center, serial numbers, sidelines  
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5706 clicks; posted to Business » on 27 Dec 2013 at 10:36 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-27 04:54:09 AM
I was totally feelin' this today when I registered my Starbucks gift card. Jfc.
 
2013-12-27 09:15:07 AM
Hobbies: Golfing, sailing, and getting to really know people by wearing their skin.
 
2013-12-27 09:20:22 AM
I actually feel a small degree of pity for the people who are forced to read the various "warranty cards," "customer satisfaction surveys," "rate how we did" questionnaires, and other information vacuums that are occasionally forced in front of me. A small degree of pity, very small.
 
2013-12-27 09:33:08 AM
I did not know that a penis plug was a thing.  And after googling it you can apparently buy it on Amazon.

SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR-"IT'S STILL ON"

hahahahahahaha.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-12-27 09:36:03 AM
Products with a full warranty, relatively rare, can't require registration as a condition of coverage.

The federal government thought it would be helpful and encourage full warranties by making companies that offer less use negative language. Instead American industry agreed that "limited" warranties were the new normal, and the "limited" disclaimer is even less stigmatizing than a Proposition 65 warning in California.
 
2013-12-27 10:01:33 AM

JasonOfOrillia: I did not know that a penis plug was a thing.  And after googling it you can apparently buy it on Amazon.

SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR-"IT'S STILL ON"

hahahahahahaha.


heh heh, looks like I got the wrong thread.
 
2013-12-27 10:44:26 AM

JasonOfOrillia: JasonOfOrillia: I did not know that a penis plug was a thing.  And after googling it you can apparently buy it on Amazon.

SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR-"IT'S STILL ON"

hahahahahahaha.

heh heh, looks like I got the wrong thread.


Before you go... when it arrives, can you get back to everyone and tell us what information they ask for on the warranty registration card?
 
2013-12-27 10:50:43 AM

JasonOfOrillia: I did not know that a penis plug was a thing.  And after googling it you can apparently buy it on Amazon.

SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR-"IT'S STILL ON"

hahahahahahaha.


They offer warranties on those?

//I don't want a refurb model
 
2013-12-27 11:01:08 AM
Umm, haven't most people known for the last, I don't know, 50 farking years or so that the "warranty and registration" cards were simply so the companies could send you targeted advertising?  You have to be a special kind of stupid to not realize that...
 
2013-12-27 11:02:21 AM

vonmatrices: JasonOfOrillia: I did not know that a penis plug was a thing.  And after googling it you can apparently buy it on Amazon.

SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR-"IT'S STILL ON"

hahahahahahaha.

They offer warranties on those?

//I don't want a refurb model


You can always donate them to a charity store and write off the tax on it...
 
2013-12-27 11:07:54 AM
Income: Enough to buy your POS toaster
Education: Enough to not make my living selling toasters
Hobbies: Nothing toaster related
Car: Faster than yours
 
2013-12-27 11:11:16 AM

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: JasonOfOrillia: JasonOfOrillia: I did not know that a penis plug was a thing.  And after googling it you can apparently buy it on Amazon.

SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR-"IT'S STILL ON"

hahahahahahaha.

heh heh, looks like I got the wrong thread.

Before you go... when it arrives, can you get back to everyone and tell us what information they ask for on the warranty registration card?


I wish I had filled out the warranty card on that Damned LiLu. That was a $200 toy that lasted less than two weeks before the charger actually started smoking and throwing sparks.
 
2013-12-27 11:33:05 AM
i60.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-27 11:41:26 AM
I totally like to initiate...I'm a big ol' 5.
 
2013-12-27 11:49:53 AM
That kind of falls into the 'you can always ask, but I'm not going to tell you' category.

One of the federal agencies was doing a survey on child vaccination.  I answered their questions (yes, my spawn is fully vaccinated) until they wanted to know how much I made and what my living situation was like.
 
2013-12-27 12:21:38 PM
 
2013-12-27 12:22:03 PM

TheGreatGazoo: That kind of falls into the 'you can always ask, but I'm not going to tell you' category.

One of the federal agencies was doing a survey on child vaccination.  I answered their questions (yes, my spawn is fully vaccinated) until they wanted to know how much I made and what my living situation was like.


I always answer their questions.  Whether or not the answer is truthful or even related to the question is something I'll never divulge.

Q: income
A: potato masher
 
2013-12-27 12:37:22 PM
TheGreatGazoo: they wanted to know how much I made and what my living situation was like.

Income: Ask the IRS
 
2013-12-27 12:39:31 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Hobbies: Nothing toaster related


i.imgur.com
Ah, so you're a waffle man.
 
2013-12-27 12:40:24 PM
I like to put my hobby down as rolling around in my own feces while watching an Asian lady pee on red and green balloons. Surprisingly, I have not received any promotional material related to that.
 
2013-12-27 12:48:53 PM

Pocket Ninja: I actually feel a small degree of pity for the people who are forced to read the various "warranty cards," "customer satisfaction surveys," "rate how we did" questionnaires, and other information vacuums that are occasionally forced in front of me. A small degree of pity, very small.


Where I work we are evaluated on the customer satisfaction surveys, so for services it's actually pretty important to fill those out.

Now, filling out a product registration card on a "durable" good designed to last 90 days. . . you're basically giving out info they intend to sell.
 
2013-12-27 12:58:36 PM

Ivo Shandor: Smeggy Smurf: Hobbies: Nothing toaster related

[i.imgur.com image 304x245]
Ah, so you're a waffle man.


Hash browns and the flesh of dead animals
 
2013-12-27 01:20:46 PM
I always lie my ass off on stuff like this and list my jerk ex-coworker's address. Hopefully he's the one getting the farm implement catalogs, the survivalist shelter brochures, the Guns and Ammo subscription offers, and the FBI dossier.
 
2013-12-27 01:21:52 PM

chevydeuce: Umm, haven't most people known for the last, I don't know, 50 farking years or so that the "warranty and registration" cards were simply so the companies could send you targeted advertising?


I know of one person who insists on doing those "registrations" and wonders why they keep getting spam and junk mail. And in spite of being told repeatedly that you don't have to "register" for most warranties, keeps insisting on them.

/Sure there was that whole recall on that electrical device that turned out to be made of some previously unknown substance that could combust spontaneously and burn down the house...
//One out of HOW many?!
///MAYBE, just MAYBE they'll believe Consumer Reports, since they subscribe to it.
 
2013-12-27 01:27:12 PM

chevydeuce: Umm, haven't most people known for the last, I don't know, 50 farking years or so that the "warranty and registration" cards were simply so the companies could send you targeted advertising?  You have to be a special kind of stupid to not realize that...


I can't say I've known this for 50 farking years, (I'm barely over 50 as it is and I'm not sure I even knew what a warranty was the first few years of my life) but I did learn this at a very young age.


But back when I was a kid I liked targeted advertising.  It meant I would get sent shiat in the mail - you know the mail that the USPS delivered.  That was exciting to me back then.

Not so much anymore....Now I check my snail mail about once every week or so.  Sometimes I let it go 2 weeks.

I checked it last night.  4 bills, 1 alumni magazine, 3 credit card offers, 3 pieces of junk mail from insurance companies and about a dozen other pieces of junk mail from various people I don't give a shiat about.

Oh, and an unsigned Xmas card from the hospital that euthanized my cat this year.  Merry farking Xmas.

There wasn't even a Crutchfield or a Victoria's Secret or a Johnson Smith catalog in the whole stack of mail.  Johnson Smith should really send me a new catalog.  I lost my X-Ray specs a while back and really need a new pair.

I never really appreciated the fact that my mother kept a waste basket right next to where she left the mail for my father to look at when he got home from work until I became an adult.
 
2013-12-27 01:43:08 PM

Unobtanium: I know of one person who insists on doing those "registrations" and wonders why they keep getting spam and junk mail. And in spite of being told repeatedly that you don't have to "register" for most warranties, keeps insisting on them.


Way back in the early '90s when I still subscribed to print magazines and such I would customize my address to see who was putting me on other mailing lists.

It's as simple as misspelling your name when ordering a subscription or putting "Apartment 45A" when you live in apartment 45 and none of them have letters after the numbers.

I may have filled out a warranty card for my first transistor radio way back when I was a kid, but my parents explained it was bullshiat and I haven't done so since.

Here's another thing people should realize.  Your cable company, your wireless phone service, your other utilities do NOT need to know your Social Security Number.  I tell them I don't have one.

They try to reassure you by saying they only let their CSRs see the last 4 digits.  Well that's helpful seeing as how the first 3 and the next 2 digits can easily be figured out if you know when and where a person was born.  The last 4 digits are actually the hard part to figure out.  (i.e. impossible unless you brute-force it).
 
2013-12-27 01:51:42 PM

gfid: Not so much anymore....Now I check my snail mail about once every week or so.  Sometimes I let it go 2 weeks.


We let it go so long that sometimes the post office stops delivery, and you have to go to the post office and pick it all up before they will send you more. That's always a fun trip.

"Were you out of town or something? We can stop delivery temporarily if you just let us know!"
"No, I just consider 99% of what you bring me a complete waste of my time. This organization could disappear overnight and I would not bat an eye."

And the worst part is, my wife will sign up for every shopper loyalty card ever created, for any reason. We could be in California at a specialty candle store that doesn't have a location within a thousand miles of us, and she will fill out whatever damn form they give her to get a free book of matches. She probably has a dozen loyalty cards on her key ring at any one time, and at least two dozen more in her purse. I have to turn my back on the scene or walk out of the store when she's signing up for another one, to avoid getting in trouble.
 
2013-12-27 02:07:43 PM

jayhawk88: We could be in California at a specialty candle store that doesn't have a location within a thousand miles of us, and she will fill out whatever damn form they give her to get a free book of matches.


As a match book collector myself I can see the value in that

It used to be that every restaurant you went to (including many fast food restaurants) would have matches.  I've got matchbooks from hotels, banks, strip clubs, cruise lines, amusement parks, head shops and probably even a grocery store or two.

Now almost no one has matchbooks unless they sell cigarettes and 99.9999% of them are blank.  I ran across a website that actually tracks businesses that still give out (non-blank) matchbooks,  They have a very small list.  I was able to contribute to it though.  There is one liquor store where I live that still proudly puts their name on matchbooks and offers them to any customer.  I have about a million of them by now.
 
2013-12-27 02:12:37 PM
gfid: There wasn't even a Crutchfield

Bought new reference speakers for my car from Crutchfield.

Get their catalog every few months.

// Do people actually go through/use that much audio equipment that they need a few catalogs every year?

// If I ordered from your web site, why are you sending me snail mail catalogs? If I want anything, I'll just go to your site.

// page with my address on it goes into the shredder, everything else goes into the recycler.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-12-27 02:22:51 PM
// Do people actually go through/use that much audio equipment that they need a few catalogs every year?

I'm on the list for B&H, the big photo-audio-video store, and get a brick of a catalog regularly. I need to find the opt out email or card which I should return to save a forest.
 
2013-12-27 02:38:44 PM
There is a company called "Wagan" that sells cheap power inverters at Fry's.
I had one for about 2 months until came back after lunch to find my car filled with black smoke and melting plastic.  I barely got the thing yanked out of the DC plug before I started to see flames.

The Wagan site says no warranty if you don't register online within 30 days of the sale.  I could have fought the company conventionally, but that would have resulted in great bloodshed and likely have taken thousands of lives.

Not one to be outwitted by such companies, I went back to Fry's, bought another one, registered it, and 3 weeks later put in for a replacement.  I then wrapped both of them up and Secret-Santa'd them to the two most unbearable douchnozzles that I work with.

Problem solved.
 
2013-12-27 02:41:47 PM

dragonchild: Where I work we are evaluated on the customer satisfaction surveys, so for services it's actually pretty important to fill those out.


I never fill those out because you expect us to always rate everything a 5/5. To me, 3/5 should indicate a normal experience, but if I were to write 3/5, you'd lose your job. The whole thing is a joke.
 
2013-12-27 02:44:59 PM

clutchcargo2002: I like to put my hobby down as rolling around in my own feces while watching an Asian lady pee on red and green balloons. Surprisingly, I have not received any promotional material related to that.


I could get you on the mailing list if you want, I know a guy. Just let em know.
 
2013-12-27 02:58:05 PM

lordargent: gfid: There wasn't even a Crutchfield

Bought new reference speakers for my car from Crutchfield.

Get their catalog every few months.

// Do people actually go through/use that much audio equipment that they need a few catalogs every year?


No, but they hope you'll need something else soon.  It's like when I got a gift card from Land's End for Xmas a few years back.  Of course I used it.  I think I bought bathroom rugs because I didn't want any of their clothing.  They sent me 4 catalogs a year for 5 years before they realized it was just a gift card and their bathroom rugs were probably still working for me.  (To be fair, the rugs really tied the room together.  They are nice).

Catalogs are cheap to send out and it guarantees that you'll at least see their name and keep them fresh in your mind.  I suspect many people are like me when they get a catalog in the mail.  I've got to at least flip through it to see if there's anything interesting.

If anyone buys audio equipment that often, they're probably looking at a lot of websites and sources.  Me?  I got a decent Yamaha amp out of a dumpster a while back.  I had to order the remote.  I took the speakers too for some reason (some brand I had never heard of and can't remember right now).  I wish I had left the speakers, but the amp is pretty good.

// If I ordered from your web site, why are you sending me snail mail catalogs? If I want anything, I'll just go to your site.

// page with my address on it goes into the shredder, everything else goes into the recycler.


I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that.
 
2013-12-27 03:22:21 PM
When my information got sold to some charities, they got the address a little wrong. The "Dr." denoting Drive got shifted up to the top. All of a sudden I was Dr. Thinker, so instead of asking me for $25 they were asking for $250, tax deductible of course.
 
2013-12-27 04:45:09 PM

nytmare: I never fill those out because you expect us to always rate everything a 5/5. To me, 3/5 should indicate a normal experience, but if I were to write 3/5, you'd lose your job. The whole thing is a joke.


Yeah pretty much, so carry on.  We only need a few perfect scores a month to appease the suits.
 
2013-12-27 04:50:56 PM
gfid:

Now almost no one has matchbooks unless they sell cigarettes and 99.9999% of them are blank.  I ran across a website that actually tracks businesses that still give out (non-blank) matchbooks,  They have a very small list.  I was able to contribute to it though.  There is one liquor store where I live that still proudly puts their name on matchbooks and offers them to any customer.  I have about a million of them by now.

One of those little differences you notice between growing up in the 60's and 70's and now. Never had to buy matches as you always had a pile of them. Wouldn't walk out of a restaurant without bagging a pack even though I've never smoked.
 
2013-12-27 06:04:52 PM

clutchcargo2002: I like to put my hobby down as rolling around in my own feces while watching an Asian lady pee on red and green balloons. Surprisingly, I have not received any promotional material related to that.


One of these days you are going to be trying to figure out why you keep getting advertisements for scat porn and all types of other fetish porn mailed to you.
 
2013-12-27 06:08:05 PM

lordargent: // If I ordered from your web site, why are you sending me snail mail catalogs? If I want anything, I'll just go to your site.


I see your point, but the catalog (in my case, A.G. Russell) is a lot easier to read while on the crapper than the Kindle or laptop. Plus I take old catalogs to work (with my address cut out) so co-workers can be sucked into buying nice knives.
 
2013-12-27 06:31:43 PM
Let's not forget why they're doing this:  they want to know who to market and design for.  They quite literally are asking who their customers are so that they can master their market.  Ok, the questions are a bit much, but the reasoning isn't surprising.  They have few opportunities to interact directly with their customers, and this information is valuable to them.  It's likely they've just recently implemented a CRM system with this functionality.  Could it be nefarious data mining by a toaster manufacturer?  Sure, I suppose, but if we're going to jump to conclusions over "what could be" then I could just be a cat randomly typing on a keyboard, but it's not worth smeri976yl09hnj ujdferi9
 
2013-12-27 09:07:16 PM
I LIKE getting surveys, doubly so political surveys.

"Satanic Abortion Doctor" is a valid career choice, right?
 
2013-12-27 09:51:48 PM

Dracolich: They have few opportunities to interact directly with their customers, and this information is valuable to them.


I don't doubt it, but they'd get a lot better participation if they actually treated "valuable" information as something to value.  As in the verb, to cherish or otherwise treat with respect.  Oh no, they have to monetize it, which basically means turning right around and selling it off.  That kind of tends to discourage all but old/bored people who consider solicitation a form of attention (which I guess it is, if you're alone and waiting for death).
 
BHK
2013-12-27 10:14:00 PM
Is this a report by Rick Romero's grandfather?
 
2013-12-27 11:24:52 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I LIKE getting surveys, doubly so political surveys.

"Satanic Abortion Doctor" is a valid career choice, right?


Only if you're doing it for Jesus
 
2013-12-27 11:52:47 PM
Warranty Cards? This manufacturer should just put 'LIKE US ON FACEBOOK' stickers on the boxes; they'll have more information than they wanted in no time
 
2013-12-28 12:51:21 AM
I'll fill out your warranty card.  But, let's make a deal.  Let's just assume for a minute I don't actually use your product much for the first few months (maybe longer) that I own it, but then when I do get the time to start using it and realize you've created the most awful and farked up piece of shiat Bluray player ever Samsung, that you refund my money and let me buy something from another manufacturer that actually works and isn't literally the worst piece of electronic equipment I've ever purchased -- EVER.
 
2013-12-28 01:18:46 AM

lordargent: TheGreatGazoo: they wanted to know how much I made and what my living situation was like.

Income: Ask the IRS


Income:  It depends.  Gross Income?  Federal Taxable Gross Income?  Federal Adjusted Gross Income?  State Adjusted Gross Income*?  Or None of your farking business dipshiats.

* Depending on the state and their income tax requirements and one's sources of income, this may be different form Federal Adjusted Gross Income.
 
2013-12-28 02:38:04 AM
John Buck 41: I see your point, but the catalog (in my case, A.G. Russell) is a lot easier to read while on the crapper than the Kindle or laptop.

Maybe I've been blessed with super regularity, but I don't spend enough time in the crapper to be able to read anything.

// get in, do my business, get out

// except for that one time I made the mistake of eating a salad made with kale. And in that case, I wasn't capable of reading anything due to the exertion.
 
2013-12-28 08:10:53 AM

47 is the new 42: lordargent: TheGreatGazoo: they wanted to know how much I made and what my living situation was like.

Income: Ask the IRS

Income:  It depends.  Gross Income?  Federal Taxable Gross Income?  Federal Adjusted Gross Income?  State Adjusted Gross Income*?  Or None of your farking business dipshiats.

* Depending on the state and their income tax requirements and one's sources of income, this may be different form Federal Adjusted Gross Income.


A) they probably can't ask the IRS, due to the few privacy laws still in effect.
B) asking income and living situation with relation to a vaccination survey is legitimate; it would be very useful to know, for instance, if people didn't vaccinate their kids if they were low income, or had poor access to transportation.
 
2013-12-28 03:24:34 PM

TheGreatGazoo: That kind of falls into the 'you can always ask, but I'm not going to tell you' category.

One of the federal agencies was doing a survey on child vaccination.  I answered their questions (yes, my spawn is fully vaccinated) until they wanted to know how much I made and what my living situation was like.


Before I got my flu shot this year the doctor's office wanted to know if I owned guns, was married, how much I drank, what my household income was, etc.  I just put a slash through those TWO PAGES of questions and wrote 'irrelevant' on the form.
 
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