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(Deadspin)   What did we get stuck in our rectums this year?   (deadspin.com) divider line 179
    More: Sick, rectums, U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, orifices  
•       •       •

14058 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2013 at 10:39 AM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



179 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-27 09:10:08 AM
SHAMPOO BOTTLE

That's why you do it at a medium pace.
 
2013-12-27 09:14:24 AM
LIT BOTTLE ROCKET; "IT DIDN'T GO WELL"

I don't want to know, and yet I kinda do.
 
2013-12-27 09:17:42 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-27 09:18:46 AM
Also, for "Stuck in Vagina"

NAPKINS IN VAGINA TO HAVE SEX DURING PERIOD

Now my keyboard has spit on it.
 
2013-12-27 09:21:43 AM
"PATIENT STATES HE GOT DRUNK AND PASSED OUT AT GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE, AWOKE WITH SPOONS AND DILDOS IN RECTUM"

I suppose that's one way of dealing with a alchie.
 
2013-12-27 09:29:31 AM
"PATIENT STATES HE WAS EXPERIENCING AN ITCHY RECTUM AND INSERTED A REMOTE CONTROL TO SCRATCH"

OK?
 
2013-12-27 09:33:05 AM
Man, I feel like I really slacked this year.
 
2013-12-27 09:34:10 AM
The year isn't over yet!
 
2013-12-27 09:34:34 AM

farkingismybusiness: The year isn't over yet!


Gotta do something with the Christmas tree...
 
2013-12-27 09:43:26 AM

RedPhoenix122: farkingismybusiness: The year isn't over yet!

Gotta do something with the Christmas tree...


I just HAD to get a farking prelit one this year, too.
 
2013-12-27 10:17:48 AM
I'm sure each if these has its own ICD-10 code too.

/whoa-oh dominoe. Lord have mercy.
 
2013-12-27 10:40:07 AM
Damn near killed 'im.
 
2013-12-27 10:42:28 AM

A Cave Geek: [i.imgur.com image 240x320]


verynoice.com

/hot? Not sure on this one
 
2013-12-27 10:42:59 AM

Diogenes: Man, I feel like I really slacked this year.


LOL
 
2013-12-27 10:43:15 AM
Rectum:
"Big purple dildo"

Someone had a Barney fetish
 
2013-12-27 10:43:53 AM
There is a guy at work who's last name is Rectanus.

/I am not making this up.
 
2013-12-27 10:45:47 AM
No reports of gerbils?  Guess Richard Gere was leaving them alone this year.
 
2013-12-27 10:45:55 AM
fta Ear:
"SOME BALLS"


You're doing it wrong
 
2013-12-27 10:46:02 AM
Got to 20-30 bucky balls in penis.  "I need to sit down.."

Got to rectum list.  "I need to stand up!"
 
2013-12-27 10:46:26 AM
Vagina:  SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR-"IT'S STILL ON"

This actually happened to my gf.  I had to reach up there to retrieve it.  Yes, it was still on.
 
2013-12-27 10:46:55 AM
Worked the night shift in New Orleans ER for over 20 years. I have the BEST 'stuck up my rectum' stories.
The ones from my patients aren't too bad, either.
 
2013-12-27 10:47:05 AM
SMALL FINGER VIBRATOR-"IT'S STILL ON"

Wouldn't that be a plus?
 
2013-12-27 10:48:44 AM
Gay cake?
 
2013-12-27 10:48:55 AM

Dahnkster: Worked the night shift in New Orleans ER for over 20 years. I have the BEST 'stuck up my rectum' stories.
The ones from my patients aren't too bad, either.


I'm sure they all just "sat on it," amirite?
 
2013-12-27 10:49:36 AM
EMBEDDED DOMINO IN PENIS "TO PLEASE THE LADIES"

Nothing pleases the ladies like a domino.

I was working in the ER once and a doctor came into the one that I was working with and said there was a man who presented with a light bulb in his rectum.    The doc I was with asked "Is it still attached to the lamp?   It makes a difference how to treat it."
 
2013-12-27 10:49:58 AM
Damn near killed 'em.and OUCH!
 
2013-12-27 10:50:03 AM
When I got to the 20-30 MAGNETIC BUCKY BALLS in penis line, I laughed.  I had an image of some dude with a magnetic wang walking around getting it stuck to every metallic object he passed.

/those all sound dangerous
 
2013-12-27 10:51:37 AM

Rabid Turnip: When I got to the 20-30 MAGNETIC BUCKY BALLS in penis line, I laughed.  I had an image of some dude with a magnetic wang walking around getting it stuck to every metallic object he passed.

/those all sound dangerous


Are you walking by a piece of steel or are you just glad to see me?
 
2013-12-27 10:51:49 AM
A can of soda?  Damn, I take a decent sized dump and I almost split in two.
 
2013-12-27 10:54:37 AM
i53.tinypic.com
 
2013-12-27 10:54:41 AM
One in a million shot, doc. One in a million.

funkylindsay.com
 
2013-12-27 10:55:33 AM
Well, now I know that pin worms are a thing.

/could have done without that
 
2013-12-27 10:55:52 AM
Worms in the vagina.  Lovely.
 
2013-12-27 10:55:55 AM
www.realfunfood.com

lh3.ggpht.com
 
2013-12-27 10:56:09 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-27 10:57:24 AM
If you vote GOP, you probably have your head up there.
 
2013-12-27 10:58:04 AM

JerkStore: One in a million shot, doc. One in a million.

[funkylindsay.com image 612x612]


Is that curly Fusili pasta?
 
2013-12-27 10:58:06 AM

Nogale: I'm sure they all just "sat on it," amirite?


Or "Swallowed it by accident and now it's stuck in my anus". Many of these guys went straight up to surgery, especially if they perforated their bowels. It was always the non-surgical extractions that made for the giggles.
 
2013-12-27 10:58:39 AM
Rectum:

TOY SUBMARINE

We all live in a stinky submarine, stinky submarine...
 
2013-12-27 10:59:38 AM

Diogenes: RedPhoenix122: farkingismybusiness: The year isn't over yet!

Gotta do something with the Christmas tree...

I just HAD to get a farking prelit one this year, too.


and its a Scotch Pine!
 
2013-12-27 10:59:58 AM
Penis:
SEWING NEEDLE

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.
 
2013-12-27 11:00:02 AM
Little tiny man? Old tin can???
 
2013-12-27 11:00:17 AM

Three Crooked Squirrels: "PATIENT STATES HE WAS EXPERIENCING AN ITCHY RECTUM AND INSERTED A REMOTE CONTROL TO SCRATCH"

OK?


On my phone, but someone should probably post the picture of the WoW kid freaking out. Seems more than a little relevant.
 
2013-12-27 11:00:31 AM
This is my favorite seasonal article of the year.
 
2013-12-27 11:01:44 AM
Plastic eyeball in nose, that'd freak me out a little.
 
2013-12-27 11:02:36 AM
Toy Submarine...Who's the U-boat commander?
 
2013-12-27 11:03:18 AM
I swear to god...I slipped in the shower!
 
2013-12-27 11:04:13 AM
Some of the vagina and rectum ones sound like bragging.
 
2013-12-27 11:04:25 AM

p51d007: No reports of gerbils?  Guess Richard Gere was leaving them alone this year.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_Jt_g10Jug
 
2013-12-27 11:05:18 AM
Vagina:

"LONG BLACK OBJECT"

I like the mystery of this one.
 
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