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(Foodbeast)   The most useless food inventions of 2013   (foodbeast.com) divider line 70
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13290 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2013 at 8:27 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-26 07:43:28 PM
OCD Laser Pizza Cutter

Wake me when I can actually use the laser to cut the pizza.
 
2013-12-26 08:04:21 PM
10. 2-in-1 glass lets you drink two different beers at the same damn time
cdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com
ccinsider.comedycentral.com
 
2013-12-26 08:31:48 PM
Other than being a recovering alcoholic, they all seemed pretty cool.
 
2013-12-26 08:35:42 PM
13 of the Most Extraordinarily Useless Food Inventions of 2013

What does that mean?  Foodbeast only had 13 articles this year?
 
2013-12-26 08:36:59 PM
I'm a cold Italian pizza, I could use a lemon squeezer...
 
2013-12-26 08:37:37 PM
See Mom, beer and wine ARE food!
 
2013-12-26 08:39:42 PM
Well I just found a 5 year Christmas list for my mom.
 
2013-12-26 08:39:55 PM
Why yes, I do want five #8's with various arcade games from the 90s
 
2013-12-26 08:40:03 PM
Is it too late for this entry into the competition?

I know, I know, entire groups of Farkers will bash me as being unenlightened.  But, I will gladly suffer the slings and arrows of a bunch of burnt pig belly neanderthals.
 
2013-12-26 08:44:11 PM
The Mini me nibbler thing seems like it might be really useful for bakers who want to sample the cake they baked without actually tearing into the cake.

But what do I know. I'm no baker.
 
2013-12-26 08:49:14 PM
Cronuts?
 
2013-12-26 08:49:15 PM
My girlfriend got me that laser sighted pizza cutter for Xmas. Otherwise I think that lemon squeezer is pretty rad though!
 
2013-12-26 08:50:01 PM
The lemon squeezer has been used for a long time in Japan, where it is considered impolite to touch food with your hands.
 
2013-12-26 08:54:53 PM
13: Finger tongs seem sort of cool (if they work well).

I don't like getting my hands all greasy while eating wings so I usually use a ton of napkins.

12.  I like living dangerously.  If a lemon squirts in someone's eye, so what?

11.  Soup is meant to be eaten with a spoon, dumbass!

10.  About 20 years ago I bought something in a liquor store that did the exact same thing with the bottle - 2 different liqueurs.  I only bought it once and don't remember what it was, but it wasn't all that bad.  It's certainly not a new idea.

9.  I'm pretty sure roll on deodorant has been around for a while.

8.  How about just a table you can set your beer on?

7.  WTF?

6.  Lasers and pizzas?  I want this (if it actually works).  I currently use steak knives to slice pizza.  They work well, but lasers are cool.

5.  Not a bad idea, but I usually buy beer old and if I don't, I can drink one warm while a couple more are chilling in the freezer.  Cool idea, but sort of useless I guess.

4,  Homemade Twinkies?  Maybe made to your specifications?  I dunno, let me try one.  I don't eat Twinkies either, but apparently a lot of other people really dig them.

3.  Stupid

2.  Actually, something that can keep liquid cold for 24 hours could come in handy, but I wouldn't use it for beer.  They use things like this to transport medicine that needs to be kept cold to remote areas of the world that don't have electricity.

1.  Twist off wine caps are nothing new.  And I've never lost a cork screw either.
 
2013-12-26 09:01:53 PM
The finger tongs look pretty damned useful.

I'd say the 2 most WTF things I've got and use 3-4 times a month is a vinyl tube used to peel garlic (insert garlic, rub between palms of hands), and a tortilla warmer (big round sleeve like thing, put the tortillas in, nuke 20 seconds, nice warm tortillas that stay warm for the meal).  Yeah, I could do without either.  But things work so much nicer when use these.

The most WTF thing I've used twice (first when I got it, and a couple years ago to show the grandkids) is my  http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/snotamug-egg-separator snotamug.

/ think I first heard of snotamug on this very website.
 
2013-12-26 09:04:06 PM

fusillade762: OCD Laser Pizza Cutter

Wake me when I can actually use the laser to cut the pizza.


i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-12-26 09:06:43 PM

ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha: 10. 2-in-1 glass lets you drink two different beers at the same damn time
[cdn.foodbeast.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 600x408]
[ccinsider.comedycentral.com image 256x168]


unless I'm missing something, I don't see how that works.  As soon as you tip it to drink, the two beers wil mix, won't they?
 
2013-12-26 09:07:09 PM
Um, yes please, I would like the finger tongs.
 
2013-12-26 09:10:24 PM

gfid: 4.  Homemade Twinkies?  Maybe made to your specifications?  I dunno, let me try one.  I don't eat Twinkies either, but apparently a lot of other people really dig them.


They are soul food for white trash.
 
2013-12-26 09:15:36 PM
Half of those were awesome. I especially like the kegerator/video game machine. If I didn't have a job I'd never leave that farking room and I'd have wings delivered to my door (which I'd then eat with finger tongs).
 
2013-12-26 09:20:37 PM

trappedspirit: 13 of the Most Extraordinarily Useless Food Inventions of 2013

What does that mean?  Foodbeast only had 13 articles this year?



Fourteen. Thirteen individual articles, plus the end-of-the-year retrospective.
 
2013-12-26 09:22:01 PM

Flab: The lemon squeezer has been used for a long time in Japan, where it is considered impolite to touch food with your hands.


I'm so polite, I refuse to touch food with my mouth.
 
2013-12-26 09:25:58 PM

Snarfangel: Flab: The lemon squeezer has been used for a long time in Japan, where it is considered impolite to touch food with your hands.
I'm so polite, I refuse to touch food with my mouth.


I got some of that food-in-a-bag stuff from the hospital. I never have to brush my teeth anymore.
 
2013-12-26 09:32:30 PM
The finger tongs are worthy of a Nobel prize if they work.
 
2013-12-26 09:42:18 PM
My vote is for the EggMinder. Tells your smartphone when you are low on eggs.

s3.amazonaws.com

Because there is no way you can just call home and ask someone if you need eggs. Or if no one is home, it's too big of a risk to spend $0.99 on another dozen eggs if you still have some left.
 
2013-12-26 09:42:45 PM

Prey4reign: gfid: 4.  Homemade Twinkies?  Maybe made to your specifications?  I dunno, let me try one.  I don't eat Twinkies either, but apparently a lot of other people really dig them.

They are soul food for white trash.


Shut your whore mouth.
 
2013-12-26 09:58:04 PM

Snotnose: The finger tongs look pretty damned useful.


Heck yes.  They'd probably work a whole lot better than those two-pronged corn "handle" things, as well.  One item to eat both the corn on the cob AND the fried chicken?  Sign me up.

I also think the roll-on oil dispenser could be useful.
 
2013-12-26 10:16:52 PM

3StratMan: My vote is for the EggMinder. Tells your smartphone when you are low on eggs.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 850x478]

Because there is no way you can just call home and ask someone if you need eggs. Or if no one is home, it's too big of a risk to spend $0.99 on another dozen eggs if you still have some left.


Do you know how draining it is to actually count the damned things?
 
2013-12-26 10:17:55 PM
So many first world problems in this thread.
 
2013-12-26 10:18:54 PM
I believe that I saw those finger tongs on some invention show and the "experts" decided that it would be best if marketed to rib an wing joints instead of the ordinary consumer.  I thought they were/are a good idea.
 
2013-12-26 10:21:11 PM

3StratMan: My vote is for the EggMinder. Tells your smartphone when you are low on eggs.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 850x478]

Because there is no way you can just call home and ask someone if you need eggs. Or if no one is home, it's too big of a risk to spend $0.99 on another dozen eggs if you still have some left.


hey, my local free range buff orpington eggs are 3.75 a dozen!


/but your point remains; I can totally spare the "less than 5 bucks" if I think I'll need eggs.
 
2013-12-26 10:32:50 PM
What is the advantage of #1 over the corks with a cap on top that you see on, for example, port bottles?
 
2013-12-26 10:43:34 PM
11.  Soup is meant to be eaten with a spoon, dumbass!

Ramen is meant to be eaten with chopsticks and then a specially-designed spoon for the broth, in combination.  Although it's ok to lift the bowl and drink the soup instead if you prefer, using a spoon to eat the solid contents would be messy and impolite (not to mention difficult, since spoons aren't ideal for 8" noodles and large slices of pork).  This invention seeks to eliminate the need for two types of utensil, but I can't see any ramen shop here in Japan eagerly adopting the idea.  It (and the rest of the list) seems like the kinds of things Japanese comedians would laugh at during a variety show segment.
 
2013-12-26 10:46:57 PM
If it were inexpensive cheap enough, I'd be interested in the beverage cooler gizmo.
Yup, for beer.
 
2013-12-26 10:47:08 PM

Random Internet Persona: So many first world problems in this thread.


How many third-world problems have you solved today?
 
2013-12-26 10:59:52 PM
 
2013-12-26 11:01:47 PM
"Let's ignore the fact that no one actually eats Twinkies anymore,"

Yeah, I seem to remember this sudden furor that arose when Hostess went byebye for a few months that'd disagree heavily with you. Ah, those were the days... Watching idiots buy boxes of twinkies on eBay for 8,000x their MSRP...
 
2013-12-26 11:06:08 PM
The lemon squeezer... I'd buy one right now I think...

Perfect for teas and 10,000 things I do with lemons slices.
 
2013-12-26 11:23:18 PM
Farkers, you disappoint me, forget the list, this is the girl that wrote the list
www.humanities.uci.edu
 
2013-12-26 11:28:38 PM

Samuel Beale's Ghost: Farkers, you disappoint me, forget the list, this is the girl that wrote the list
[www.humanities.uci.edu image 508x498]


It's considered poor taste to call out the wives of other Farkers.
i169.photobucket.com

/Definitely not British.
 
2013-12-26 11:31:12 PM

mekkab: 3StratMan: My vote is for the EggMinder. Tells your smartphone when you are low on eggs.

[s3.amazonaws.com image 850x478]

Because there is no way you can just call home and ask someone if you need eggs. Or if no one is home, it's too big of a risk to spend $0.99 on another dozen eggs if you still have some left.

hey, my local free range buff orpington eggs are 3.75 a dozen!


/but your point remains; I can totally spare the "less than 5 bucks" if I think I'll need eggs.


Plus eggs last for a month or more.  If you end up with more than you need, chances are you'll be able to use them before they go bad.
 
2013-12-26 11:36:07 PM

Snarfangel: Samuel Beale's Ghost: Farkers, you disappoint me, forget the list, this is the girl that wrote the list
[www.humanities.uci.edu image 508x498]

It's considered poor taste to call out the wives of other Farkers.
[i169.photobucket.com image 422x532]

/Definitely not British.


Is that the home school girl? Haven't seen that pic in a long time!
 
2013-12-26 11:54:23 PM

Pattuq: Random Internet Persona: So many first world problems in this thread.

How many third-world problems have you solved today?


Not a one, but I caught a sucker.
 
2013-12-26 11:55:30 PM

MountainClimber: fusillade762: OCD Laser Pizza Cutter

Wake me when I can actually use the laser to cut the pizza.

[i1.ytimg.com image 850x477]


It may have cut the pizza, but it sure missed getting the slices all the same size.  Try again.

I may look into the lemon squeezer, and let my kid know about the bowl.
 
2013-12-26 11:56:12 PM

Pattuq: 11.  Soup is meant to be eaten with a spoon, dumbass!

Ramen is meant to be eaten with chopsticks and then a specially-designed spoon for the broth, in combination.  Although it's ok to lift the bowl and drink the soup instead if you prefer, using a spoon to eat the solid contents would be messy and impolite (not to mention difficult, since spoons aren't ideal for 8" noodles and large slices of pork).  This invention seeks to eliminate the need for two types of utensil, but I can't see any ramen shop here in Japan eagerly adopting the idea.  It (and the rest of the list) seems like the kinds of things Japanese comedians would laugh at during a variety show segment.


Having spent a lot of time in Korea and China and having been married to a Chinese woman for the past 16 years, listen up.

Noodles with soup are meant to be be eaten *hot* [except when they're not].  The noodles are expected to be lifted above the hot soup with the chopsticks such that they are just about to think about cooling from evaporation, then you stuff them into your mouth when they're still too hot.  Too hot, so you must slurp them in a way that makes a fair amount of air move across them, incidentally causing enough evaporative cooling to occur such that you only almost avoid burning your mouth.  By the time all the noodles have been consumed in the aforementioned manner, the soup itself is cooled to the point that one must only slurp loudly at either the spoon or the edge of the bowel (depending on who's looking) to finish.

You may not dispute my findings.  Please reference my resume' above.
 
2013-12-27 12:02:15 AM
If you're ever eaten Viking Funeral level hot wings, trongs sound like a great way not to accidentally burn your eyes and your mucus membranes later.
 
2013-12-27 12:03:36 AM
it's too big of a risk to spend $0.99 on another dozen eggs if you still have some left.

you sick fark - organic free-range chicken eggs should cost at least $6.00 per dozen
 
2013-12-27 12:13:15 AM

Pattuq: It (and the rest of the list) seems like the kinds of things Japanese comedians would laugh at during a variety show segment.


It kinda reminds me of that series of books 「珍道具」.  But yeah you WANT a spoon and chopsticks combo anyway because you can pick up some foods and put them on the spoon to cool off for a minute before then re-picking up and eating, if you're a "cat tongue" wimp like myself.

The noodles and soup you can slurp up noisily with lots of air yeah.

Anyway I've made the mistake of trying to drink hot (well, warm++, but to ME it's hot!) coffee through a straw, it's not good news. Surely soup through a straw would also be too hot?
 
2013-12-27 12:23:47 AM

itazurakko: Surely soup through a straw would also be too hot?


Er, that's actually the point that I never got around to making.  My first thought on seeing that "product" was, "why the hell would I want to siphon boiling hot soup directly into my mouth?!"
 
2013-12-27 12:32:06 AM

SansNeural: itazurakko: Surely soup through a straw would also be too hot?

Er, that's actually the point that I never got around to making.  My first thought on seeing that "product" was, "why the hell would I want to siphon boiling hot soup directly into my mouth?!"


Guess nobody ever owned a thermos that has a flip up straw.
 
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