If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Orlando Sentinel)   Mother of three does a bad job parking her minivan at Christmas light display. Should I A) leave a passive-aggressive note, B) shout expletives at the woman, or Florida) slam her face into the trunk lid in front of her kids?   (thesent.nl) divider line 129
    More: Florida, Christmas lights, Florida Area  
•       •       •

9887 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2013 at 2:44 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



129 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-12-26 01:28:28 PM
According to the mom, Christine Beckwith, she was helping her young children into her car when a woman in a white Honda with a Christmas wreath on the front bumper drove up and started to complain about her crooked parking.

Boy, that woman seems to have that Christmas spirit.
 
2013-12-26 01:34:08 PM
The woman grabbed the mom by the hair, slammed her face into the truck of the car then punched and scratched her, the report said.

If that car was so big it had its own truck, it's no wonder she couldn't park it properly.
 
2013-12-26 01:35:17 PM
C: because maybe that breeder should learn to drive better.
 
2013-12-26 01:39:18 PM
www.sott.net

I guess she's only been told once.
 
2013-12-26 01:43:25 PM

Sybarite: [www.sott.net image 655x376]

I guess she's only been told once.


She was only over one line.
 
2013-12-26 02:01:42 PM
Exactly subby.  That's how you treat a mother of two, not a mother of three.
 
2013-12-26 02:24:34 PM
Well to be fair, people who park in multiple spaces at once are pretty terrible.
 
2013-12-26 02:46:28 PM
Silver lining: she now qualifies for the wider, handicapped space.
 
2013-12-26 02:49:01 PM
The attacker was about 5 feet 10 inches and slender with long, dark hair, witnesses said.

I'm going to need some pictures...
 
2013-12-26 02:50:10 PM
Good thing she wasn't wearing a hoodie
 
2013-12-26 02:52:14 PM
The attacker was about 5 feet 10 inches and slender with long, dark hair, witnesses said.

And she's feisty. Count me in
 
2013-12-26 02:52:24 PM
FTA:

The victim also said her attacker with two friends. One woman in a black sedan threatened the victim and said if she called the police, she "wouldn't be able to spend Christmas with her kids," the report said.

Who the fark writes this shiat?
 
2013-12-26 02:52:42 PM
If she had been armed then none of this would have happened.
 
2013-12-26 02:52:50 PM

BSABSVR: Well to be fair, people who park in multiple spaces at once are pretty terrible.


Yeah. Kinda sucks her kids had to see that, but she deserved the black eye at least.
 
2013-12-26 02:53:20 PM
Damn... Just as other states get close to their own tag, Florida steps up its game.
 
2013-12-26 02:54:22 PM
Vans don't have trunks.

/That's one of the things that makes them a van.
//Elephants have trunks.
///Man, I'd hate to get my face slammed into an elephant.
////On the other hand, it'd be pretty bad a$$ to load all the kids onto an elephant and go see Christmas lights.
//I'm sorry, what were we talking about again?
 
2013-12-26 02:55:51 PM
Accomplices covering the license plates...I wonder if they've done this sort of thing before.
That sounds like 'pre-meditated'. I just have trouble going along with 'quick thinking'.

/ Bloody autoplay.
// I hate bloody autoplay.
 
2013-12-26 02:56:06 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: Vans don't have trunks.


He must mean tunk.
 
2013-12-26 02:56:06 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: ///Man, I'd hate to get my face slammed into an elephant.


i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-12-26 02:56:35 PM
I'm calling shenanigans on this. Firstly, they were trying to park at a crowded place, but there were no witnesses? Secondly, speaking as someone who was raised in Central Florida, the woman who got beat up looks like the typical shiat-talking, 'I got mine' type so I'm sure she was no angel when asked to move her car. Thirdly, what the fark is this shiat? The other friend covered the license plates on both cars before they all sped away.
 
2013-12-26 02:57:25 PM
In front of her kids? I hope they learned something valuable that day, like don't be a d-bag and take up more than one spot.
 
2013-12-26 02:58:34 PM

BSABSVR: Well to be fair, people who park in multiple spaces at once are pretty terrible.


global3.memecdn.com
 
2013-12-26 02:59:18 PM

jankyboy: FTA:

The victim also said her attacker with two friends. One woman in a black sedan threatened the victim and said if she called the police, she "wouldn't be able to spend Christmas with her kids," the report said.

Who the fark writes this shiat?


Nobody.  It's autogenerated by the closed-captioning software.  All TV station websites suck because of this.  Newspaper websites that get content from TV stations should know better, but they apparently don't give a damn.
 
2013-12-26 02:59:38 PM
This is a warning to be on the lookout for roaming gangs of women in crowded parking lots looking for parking jobs to get themselves agitated over.
 
zeg
2013-12-26 03:00:37 PM

BSABSVR: Well to be fair, people who park in multiple spaces at once are pretty terrible.


Except that outside of egregious incidences unless you saw the person park, you don't know whether they're at fault or not. Sometimes the only parking space available is across a line because the people ahead of you did a crappy job parking, then they leave and it looks like you're a bad parker.

Of course, I'm just bitter after getting a rude note some years back from a self-proclaimed know-it-all crusader for parking justice. Apparently if you're going to parallel park on Mem Drive in Cambridge, you need to look into the future and determine whether the spot you're taking is going to wind up with a less-than-car-sized gap in front of it at any later time, and not park there otherwise.

It pissed me off at the time, but in the end, I think the joke is on the note-writer. There's no way that person is not a miserable, lonely asshat.
 
2013-12-26 03:01:07 PM
C. People who don't know how to park properly should get C until they figure out it hurts less to learn how to park properly than getting your face slammed into the trunk lid.
 
2013-12-26 03:01:11 PM

BSABSVR: Well to be fair, people who park in multiple spaces at once are pretty terrible.


This!

Also, what part of "compact car parking" do you SUV and enormous pickup truck drivers not get?
 
2013-12-26 03:01:29 PM

StubhyGraham: I'm calling shenanigans on this. Firstly, they were trying to park at a crowded place, but there were no witnesses? Secondly, speaking as someone who was raised in Central Florida, the woman who got beat up looks like the typical shiat-talking, 'I got mine' type so I'm sure she was no angel when asked to move her car. Thirdly, what the fark is this shiat? The other friend covered the license plates on both cars before they all sped away.


Came here to write all of this except the "raised in Florida" part.

That other friend, was Scottie Pippen.

Seriously - we're expected to believe someone was COVERING LICENSE PLATES on two cars? I've never even heard this act being reported in any other crime ever.
 
2013-12-26 03:01:44 PM

Sybarite: [www.sott.net image 655x376]

I guess she's only been told once.


That haircut is a guarantee the broad is a desperate need of daily ass whippings for being a coont
 
2013-12-26 03:03:40 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Sybarite: [www.sott.net image 655x376]

I guess she's only been told once.

That haircut is a guarantee the broad is a desperate need of daily ass whippings for being a coont


Troof.

I'm not saying they should have beat her head against the trunk while covering up their own license plate, but I understand.
 
2013-12-26 03:05:22 PM
Mom falls down drunk, smashes face into trunk, makes up goofy story about an attack.
 
2013-12-26 03:07:06 PM
In order to explain black eye received by husband to family at christmastime, woman concocts hilarious story about mall assault.  News at 11.
 
2013-12-26 03:09:48 PM
This is one of my pet peeves.  It is really not difficult to park between lines and someone people are just so self-absorbed that they don't care.  Black eye is well-deserved for this biatch.
 
2013-12-26 03:09:53 PM

StubhyGraham: I'm calling shenanigans on this. Firstly, they were trying to park at a crowded place, but there were no witnesses? Secondly, speaking as someone who was raised in Central Florida, the woman who got beat up looks like the typical shiat-talking, 'I got mine' type so I'm sure she was no angel when asked to move her car. Thirdly, what the fark is this shiat? The other friend covered the license plates on both cars before they all sped away.


I also, would like to call shenanigans.  Maybe somebody hit her, maybe they didn't.  Maybe she instigated something, maybe she didn't.  But there's no way that story is an accurate representation.

www.a2review.net
 
2013-12-26 03:10:47 PM
"Should I A) leave a passive-aggressive note, B) shout expletives at the woman, or Florida) slam her face into the trunk lid in front of her kids?   "


img.pandawhale.com
 
2013-12-26 03:12:15 PM

Stoj: In order to explain black eye received by husband to family at christmastime, woman concocts hilarious story about mall assault.  News at 11.


Daddy's a helluva south paw.  Or has a lightening pimp smack.
 
2013-12-26 03:15:58 PM

syzygy whizz: Accomplices covering the license plates...I wonder if they've done this sort of thing before.
That sounds like 'pre-meditated'. I just have trouble going along with 'quick thinking'.

/ Bloody autoplay.
// I hate bloody autoplay.


Yeah, that part really stuck out to me.  It's interesting that they even had the materials to obscure the plates.

Having witnessed parking lot drama first hand on multiple occasions that luckily never got physical, it sounds like both parties were equally as crappy types of people.  Mommy here is slowly and leisurely loading the crotch fruit, strollers, bags, etc., words are exchanged regarding her taking up 2 spaces, and the hovering harpies are enraged by her flippant demeanor, decide to tune her up a bit.

Sounds like they are no stranger to assaulting people over trivial matters, but having stuff to cover the plates makes it seem like they expected it to happen.
 
2013-12-26 03:16:27 PM

Buttknuckle: This is one of my pet peeves.  It is really not difficult to park between lines and someone people are just so self-absorbed that they don't care.  Black eye is well-deserved for this biatch.


I wish I had a picture of one of the local parking lots. I don't know if the painters were high, drunk, blind, retarded or a combination.
Each space is a different size and the lines are not parallel. The narrowest is about 2 1/2 feet , the widest about 8 feet.
People try to fit in the 2  1/2 foot space......
 
2013-12-26 03:18:06 PM

jankyboy: FTA:

The victim also said her attacker with two friends. One woman in a black sedan threatened the victim and said if she called the police, she "wouldn't be able to spend Christmas with her kids," the report said.

Who the fark writes this shiat?


Right. What? No he's on second...
 
2013-12-26 03:18:48 PM
CJHardin: syzygy whizz: Accomplices covering the license plates...I wonder if they've done this sort of thing before.
That sounds like 'pre-meditated'. I just have trouble going along with 'quick thinking'.

/ Bloody autoplay.
// I hate bloody autoplay.

Yeah, that part really stuck out to me.  It's interesting that they even had the materials to obscure the plates.

Having witnessed parking lot drama first hand on multiple occasions that luckily never got physical, it sounds like both parties were equally as crappy types of people.  Mommy here is slowly and leisurely loading the crotch fruit, strollers, bags, etc., words are exchanged regarding her taking up 2 spaces, and the hovering harpies are enraged by her flippant demeanor, decide to tune her up a bit.

Sounds like they are no stranger to assaulting people over trivial matters, but having stuff to cover the plates makes it seem like they expected it to happen go looking for something to stir shiat up over.

FTFY

Fark those biatches
 
2013-12-26 03:22:52 PM
Kind of MILFy so I wouldn't mind parking my Mini-Van a little crookedly in her... and "Women Drivers!"
 
2013-12-26 03:25:26 PM

CJHardin: ounds like they are no stranger to assaulting people over trivial matters, but having stuff to cover the plates makes it seem like they expected it to happen fake.

 
2013-12-26 03:29:47 PM
 
2013-12-26 03:29:56 PM

zeg: BSABSVR: Well to be fair, people who park in multiple spaces at once are pretty terrible.

Except that outside of egregious incidences unless you saw the person park, you don't know whether they're at fault or not. Sometimes the only parking space available is across a line because the people ahead of you did a crappy job parking, then they leave and it looks like you're a bad parker.

Of course, I'm just bitter after getting a rude note some years back from a self-proclaimed know-it-all crusader for parking justice. Apparently if you're going to parallel park on Mem Drive in Cambridge, you need to look into the future and determine whether the spot you're taking is going to wind up with a less-than-car-sized gap in front of it at any later time, and not park there otherwise.

It pissed me off at the time, but in the end, I think the joke is on the note-writer. There's no way that person is not a miserable, lonely asshat.


If I am forced to park badly to compensate for another bad parker, I find a new spot. Even if it is 200 yards away from the store entrance. That's just my preference though.

/ Also paranoid about free-range shopping carts hitting my car
// A little paranoid yes...
/// But always warranted in the crazy parking lots around town
 
2013-12-26 03:38:54 PM

jankyboy: FTA:

The victim also said her attacker with two friends. One woman in a black sedan threatened the victim and said if she called the police, she "wouldn't be able to spend Christmas with her kids," the report said.

Who the fark writes this shiat?


Retards from Floriduh.

\Duh.
 
2013-12-26 03:39:36 PM

cretinbob: Buttknuckle: This is one of my pet peeves.  It is really not difficult to park between lines and someone people are just so self-absorbed that they don't care.  Black eye is well-deserved for this biatch.

I wish I had a picture of one of the local parking lots. I don't know if the painters were high, drunk, blind, retarded or a combination.
Each space is a different size and the lines are not parallel. The narrowest is about 2 1/2 feet , the widest about 8 feet.
People try to fit in the 2  1/2 foot space......


dude, those are motorcycle spaces.
 
2013-12-26 03:40:13 PM
The christmas sprit dosent exist in a mall parking lot. It's thunder dome in there people, only the strong survive!
 
2013-12-26 03:42:48 PM

Stoj: StubhyGraham: I'm calling shenanigans on this. Firstly, they were trying to park at a crowded place, but there were no witnesses? Secondly, speaking as someone who was raised in Central Florida, the woman who got beat up looks like the typical shiat-talking, 'I got mine' type so I'm sure she was no angel when asked to move her car. Thirdly, what the fark is this shiat? The other friend covered the license plates on both cars before they all sped away.

Came here to write all of this except the "raised in Florida" part.

That other friend, was Scottie Pippen.

Seriously - we're expected to believe someone was COVERING LICENSE PLATES on two cars? I've never even heard this act being reported in any other crime ever.


I was thinking the same thing.
What did she cover them with?  How did she manage to do this without the victim seeing the plates?
In what way is that a good idea for the attackers?  Like having your license plates covered won't draw attention?!
 
2013-12-26 03:44:56 PM

Needlessly Complicated: BSABSVR: Well to be fair, people who park in multiple spaces at once are pretty terrible.

This!

Also, what part of "compact car parking" do you SUV and enormous pickup truck drivers not get?


This asshole.

Every day at my work.

img.fark.net
 
2013-12-26 03:45:07 PM
As someone who doesn't much care what happens to their car, I park as close as possible in the spot where their drivers side door is. I can usually manage to not be in more than 1 parking spot, so as to not make others angry later.
 
Displayed 50 of 129 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report