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(Denver Post)   Under Armour and Lockheed Martin are working together on 'Mach 39' which may just be the fastest and most ultimate speedskating suit ever   (denverpost.com) divider line 31
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2525 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Dec 2013 at 10:49 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-25 08:57:47 PM
"I can't say too much," Meek said recently, "because I'm pretty sure the guys at Under Armour would kill me."

I'm simply fascinated that this guy is more afraid of Under Armor than he is of Lockheed.

/ also did I really need 3 times more text worth of "read more" links than what I was copying, guys? What farking context would I even be copy/pasting that to where people didn't already have a link to the article?
 
2013-12-25 09:47:11 PM
"Fark it, we're doing 39 blades!"

/Gillette
 
2013-12-25 09:58:23 PM
theinfosphere.org
 
2013-12-25 10:18:28 PM
img690.imageshack.us

"Did someone say...speedsuit?"
 
2013-12-25 10:59:41 PM
All Olympic athletes should compete naked to even the playing field.

/especially the women's beach volleyball teams
 
2013-12-25 11:14:19 PM

serial_crusher: "I can't say too much," Meek said recently, "because I'm pretty sure the guys at Under Armour would kill me."

I'm simply fascinated that this guy is more afraid of Under Armor than he is of Lockheed.

/ also did I really need 3 times more text worth of "read more" links than what I was copying, guys? What farking context would I even be copy/pasting that to where people didn't already have a link to the article?


No shiat. Last L/M place I picked up at they had signs about aerial surveillance and enforcement.

The only thing I can think of is that UnderArmour has a special coating available that sticks to your skin while it rots your junk off and you die of sepsis. Kind of like the poisoned vest that killed Hercules.
 
2013-12-25 11:16:25 PM
Actually, I'm shocked that this kind of innovation doesn't come from the time trial guys in cycling. Specialized works with Maclaren in the wind tunnel on helmets, postures and bike builds. Felt has some amazing aero stuff going. I just didn't see this coming from skating. Odd, but welcome.
 
2013-12-25 11:26:59 PM
The Chinese already stole it.
 
2013-12-25 11:47:51 PM
Annnnnnd...you still look like a tool wearing it.
 
2013-12-26 12:12:17 AM
Fewer than two dozen employees have access to Under Armour's "innovation lab" located on its sprawling Baltimore campus

This lab is actually open to the public. The reason only 24 people have access is because out of the 350,000,000 folks in the united states, they're the only ones who care.
 
2013-12-26 12:15:07 AM
New speed-skating suit said to give the competitors the runs.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-26 12:18:59 AM
What the skater wearing said Mach 39 suit will expect to see:
stream1.gifsoup.com
 
2013-12-26 12:20:33 AM

whatshisname: All Olympic athletes should compete naked to even the playing field.


Ah, a traditionalist I see.
 
2013-12-26 12:37:00 AM

Forty-Two: "Fark it, we're doing 39 blades!"

/Gillette


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F7TMlrDXtw
 
2013-12-26 12:37:09 AM
All's I know is, they teamed up with Dick's for a commercial that called one of the Duck Derpers an athlete.

If he's an athlete, I'm Usain Bolt.

/I am not Usain Bolt.
//For one thing, two Usain Bolts could fit inside me.
///Only redeeming quality of that ad was Lindsey Vonn midriff.
 
2013-12-26 12:38:18 AM

Forty-Two: "Fark it, we're doing 39 blades!"

/Gillette


Now with more razor burn than ever

/use a double edge blade, .10 a week
 
2013-12-26 02:38:09 AM
I've never in my life been so physically fit that the fabric I wore would make any difference. However, I've discovered that Anchor Steam is the perfect accompaniment with and muenster and Funyuns.
 
2013-12-26 03:37:09 AM
Nice "Pie in the face" video overlay ad.

Get stuffed, subtard.
 
2013-12-26 03:43:38 AM

serial_crusher: I'm simply fascinated that this guy is more afraid of Under Armor than he is of Lockheed.


Why would a speed skater care about Lockheed? UA is his sponsor.
 
2013-12-26 03:50:28 AM

doglover: Fewer than two dozen employees have access to Under Armour's "innovation lab" located on its sprawling Baltimore campus

This lab is actually open to the public. The reason only 24 people have access is because out of the 350,000,000 folks in the united states, they're the only ones who care.


No it isn't. I am sponsored by Under Armour and they would not grant me access, I didn't ask but they were VERY emphatic about the secrecy of their R&D lab. I did get to try some of their unreleased items, which was pretty cool I guess.

/don't get their running shoes
//everything else is pretty great
 
2013-12-26 04:54:27 AM
but performance enhancing drugs get you banned. RIght.
 
2013-12-26 06:42:19 AM

JorgiX: doglover: Fewer than two dozen employees have access to Under Armour's "innovation lab" located on its sprawling Baltimore campus

This lab is actually open to the public. The reason only 24 people have access is because out of the 350,000,000 folks in the united states, they're the only ones who care.

No it isn't. I am sponsored by Under Armour and they would not grant me access, I didn't ask but they were VERY emphatic about the secrecy of their R&D lab. I did get to try some of their unreleased items, which was pretty cool I guess.

/don't get their running shoes
//everything else is pretty great


You're number 25/350,000,000

I prefer to have sex and drink booze, not research men's speed suits.
 
2013-12-26 07:47:10 AM
The need to make sure the female version has super camel toe and ultra defined nipple function.  And the breasts shouldn't be squished but enhanced so it will like like they're actually naked.  That would definitely make the Olympics more interesting.
 
2013-12-26 08:31:48 AM

whatshisname: All Olympic athletes should compete naked to even the playing field.

/especially the women's beach volleyball teams


There is something to this. If we are talking about differences in milliseconds to determine who won first place, is it fair that the person with the better funded R&D team wins over the person who is physically more fit?

/Also nude women('s beach volleyball)
 
2013-12-26 08:32:26 AM
Because the shark skin swimming suit was such a success.
 
2013-12-26 08:48:22 AM

JorgiX: doglover: Fewer than two dozen employees have access to Under Armour's "innovation lab" located on its sprawling Baltimore campus

This lab is actually open to the public. The reason only 24 people have access is because out of the 350,000,000 folks in the united states, they're the only ones who care.

No it isn't. I am sponsored by Under Armour and they would not grant me access, I didn't ask but they were VERY emphatic about the secrecy of their R&D lab. I did get to try some of their unreleased items, which was pretty cool I guess.

/don't get their running shoes
//everything else is pretty great


You've got quite an impressive record, bud. Wish you the best of luck when the helmet comes off :)
 
2013-12-26 09:14:42 AM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-26 09:36:43 AM
Came for Flanders' ski suit. Conceptually, not literally, obviously.

Though thanks to a GIS for "sexy speed skating suit", I am now familiar with Allison Baver and want to know more:

assets.sbnation.com

oglympics.com
 
2013-12-26 10:39:35 AM
DjangoStonereaver:  ...now familiar with Allison Baver and want to know more:

Nice Baver
 
2013-12-26 12:34:54 PM

doglover:
You're number 25/350,000,000

I prefer to have sex and drink booze, not research men's speed suits.


Because any sort of athletic/research interest is obviously mutually exclusive to getting laid. If anything being able to say you have access to a super secret facility would get you mountains of poon.

Marmilman: You've got quite an impressive record, bud. Wish you the best of luck when the helmet comes off :)


Not sure if sarcastic (I apologize if it isn't, this is Fark after all) but I will take it and it is much appreciated!
 
2013-12-26 03:40:45 PM

JorgiX: doglover:
You're number 25/350,000,000

I prefer to have sex and drink booze, not research men's speed suits.

Because any sort of athletic/research interest is obviously mutually exclusive to getting laid. If anything being able to say you have access to a super secret facility would get you mountains of poon.

Marmilman: You've got quite an impressive record, bud. Wish you the best of luck when the helmet comes off :)

Not sure if sarcastic (I apologize if it isn't, this is Fark after all) but I will take it and it is much appreciated!


Not being sarcastic at all! I boxed in high school and college so I'd like to think that I have deeper appreciation for the sport than your typical boxing/UFC enthusiast. And although I had a good a record, it was nothing like yours.
 
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