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(Popular Science)   From the "Things You Never Really Needed To Know" files comes advice on how to castrate a hippo. Difficulty: "spatially dynamic" testicles   (popsci.com) divider line 19
    More: Strange, hippo, file folders, testicles, glands  
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1959 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Dec 2013 at 12:54 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



19 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-25 10:51:27 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-25 12:56:38 PM
Step 1:  Walk slowly behind hippo
Step 2:  Gently aim double-barrel shotgun at scrotum area
Steps 3 and 4:  Bang bang.

/shooting at the balls of hippopotamus, bang-bang
/i am the warrior
 
2013-12-25 01:28:42 PM
""spatially dynamic." That means they actually move around within the hippo body, sometimes after veterinarians have located them with ultrasound and gone in after them, surgically."

Not a bad trait when you think about it. Fly like the wind little brothers!
 
2013-12-25 01:30:59 PM
I had spatially dynamic testicles before it was hippo
 
2013-12-25 01:40:19 PM

Mister Peejay: Step 1:  Walk slowly behind hippo
Step 2:  Gently aim double-barrel shotgun at scrotum area
Steps 3 and 4:  Bang bang.

/shooting at the balls of hippopotamus, bang-bang
/i am the warrior


I would not trust a mere two barrels to stop a hippo.
 
2013-12-25 01:42:30 PM

doglover: I would not trust a mere two barrels to stop a hippo.


I wouldn't either normally, but two to the balls will make any male hit the deck long enough for the shooter to make a clean break for it.
 
2013-12-25 01:45:20 PM

OregonVet: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 300x225]


*golf clap*
 
2013-12-25 01:51:06 PM

Mister Peejay: Step 1:  Walk slowly behind hippo
Step 2:  Gently aim double-barrel shotgun at scrotum area
Steps 3 and 4:  Bang bang.


That's not so bad, considering it takes four skin divers to circumcise a whale...
 
2013-12-25 02:24:06 PM
"spatially dynamic" testicles

There's a quantum entanglement joke there somewhere but I is just to stoopid to find it.
 
2013-12-25 02:25:19 PM
Spatially Dynamic Testicles would be a good prog rock band name though.
 
2013-12-25 03:53:56 PM
OH GOD!!
 
2013-12-25 03:56:59 PM
Why couldn't they have posted this last week? Would have saved me a lot of trouble.
 
2013-12-25 03:57:09 PM
I'm waiting for the definitive work on how to skin a moose.
 
2013-12-25 04:14:26 PM

doglover: Mister Peejay: Step 1:  Walk slowly behind hippo
Step 2:  Gently aim double-barrel shotgun at scrotum area
Steps 3 and 4:  Bang bang.

/shooting at the balls of hippopotamus, bang-bang
/i am the warrior

I would not trust a mere two barrels to stop a hippo.


oldclassiccars.org

i don't know if four barrels will work
 
2013-12-25 05:39:36 PM
AC/DC knows about the problem.
 
2013-12-25 08:31:02 PM

Anderson's Pooper: doglover: I would not trust a mere two barrels to stop a hippo.

I wouldn't either normally, but two to the balls will make any male hit the deck long enough for the shooter to make a clean break for it.


A: As the article mentions Hippos have internal, mobile testes. You can't trust them to stay in the same spot even between ultrasound and the operating table at the medical facilities.

B: Not all animals are incapacitated by pain. Boars, for example, will kill try to you long after they're already dead. Hippos, being Africa's most lethal megafauna, probably don't give up the ghost just because they have a mortal injury.

Like I said, I don't want to see hippos hurt, but if they must be hurt, I'm not trusting a mere double load of shotgun pellets.
 
2013-12-25 10:56:42 PM

Mister Peejay: Step 1:  Walk slowly behind hippo
Step 2:  Gently aim double-barrel shotgun at scrotum area
Steps 3 and 4:  Bang bang.

/shooting at the balls of hippopotamus, bang-bang
/i am the warrior


"If you shoot him, you'll only make him mad."
 
2013-12-26 01:37:22 AM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: OH GOD!!


nervous?  :)
 
2013-12-26 06:00:36 AM
 
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