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(Athens Banner Herald)   No matter how bad your Christmas is, at least you're not in jail after trying to swallow the pills cops found during your arrest for a Dollar Tree shoplifting spree   (onlineathens.com) divider line 22
    More: Fail, Dollar Tree, Athens-Clarke County, County Police  
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2475 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Dec 2013 at 9:05 AM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



22 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-25 09:09:23 AM  
Well, I couldn't get a PS4 so mine is actually worse.
 
2013-12-25 09:11:52 AM  

Bslim: Well, I couldn't get a PS4 so mine is actually worse.


So you got an Xbox 1 or Wii U?
 
2013-12-25 09:14:05 AM  

eas81: Bslim: Well, I couldn't get a PS4 so mine is actually worse.

So you got an Xbox 1 or Wii U?


No. Only a PS4, will do. I shall drown my sorrows in beer for the rest of the season.
 
2013-12-25 09:19:05 AM  
No matter how bad your Christmas is, at least you're not in jail after trying to swallow the pills cops found during your arrest for a Dollar Tree shoplifting spree


Not this year, anyway.

/Thanks for bringing back painful memories, you insensitive clod.
 
2013-12-25 09:23:49 AM  
Yes I am! Now help me swallow all these pills, I'm not going back to prison!!!
 
2013-12-25 09:27:58 AM  
The incident report noted that Maldonado-Almond's mood swung from being upset to argumentative while in custody.

Boy, that's one hell of a mood shift, there.
 
2013-12-25 09:32:11 AM  

firesign: The incident report noted that Maldonado-Almond's mood swung from being upset to argumentative while in custody.

Boy, that's one hell of a mood shift, there.


Yeah, you'd think he could work embarrassment and remorse in there, as well.
 
2013-12-25 10:02:27 AM  
There is something in a name: EVERY person named Maldonado I've ever met or heard about seemed to be a douche.
 
2013-12-25 10:04:39 AM  

Bslim: eas81: Bslim: Well, I couldn't get a PS4 so mine is actually worse.

So you got an Xbox 1 or Wii U?

No. Only a PS4, will do. I shall drown my sorrows in beer for the rest of the season.


Oh, that reminds me. I cannae farking wait to see the collection from Twitter this year from hideously spoiled children screaming "Christmas is RUINED" and "I hate my parents" because they were given the wrong colour iphone.

Because yes, we all want to give each and every one of them a good slap in the head but if you take a moment to think about it there's wonderful schadenfun to be had once you realise just how badly they are punishing the parents who created said monsters with their tantrums.
 
2013-12-25 10:13:41 AM  

Bslim: Well, I couldn't get a PS4 so mine is actually worse.


You can always buy yourself one. The game store I run still had a few in stock yesterday become people gave up looking.
 
2013-12-25 10:15:18 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Bslim: eas81: Bslim: Well, I couldn't get a PS4 so mine is actually worse.

So you got an Xbox 1 or Wii U?

No. Only a PS4, will do. I shall drown my sorrows in beer for the rest of the season.

Oh, that reminds me. I cannae farking wait to see the collection from Twitter this year from hideously spoiled children screaming "Christmas is RUINED" and "I hate my parents" because they were given the wrong colour iphone.

Because yes, we all want to give each and every one of them a good slap in the head but if you take a moment to think about it there's wonderful schadenfun to be had once you realise just how badly they are punishing the parents who created said monsters with their tantrums.


Anyone who is giving their kid an iphone three months after the 5S release is a tyrant and deserves to be lambasted via twitter. People wonder why their kids get bullied-- here's an idea: give them the tools they need to prevent being mocked. Buy them the proper clothes, proper accessories, proper vacations, and for God's sake teach them about cool people and losers. Our social fabric is becoming unwound.
 
2013-12-25 10:22:41 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Bslim: eas81: Bslim: Well, I couldn't get a PS4 so mine is actually worse.

So you got an Xbox 1 or Wii U?

No. Only a PS4, will do. I shall drown my sorrows in beer for the rest of the season.

Oh, that reminds me. I cannae farking wait to see the collection from Twitter this year from hideously spoiled children screaming "Christmas is RUINED" and "I hate my parents" because they were given the wrong colour iphone.

Because yes, we all want to give each and every one of them a good slap in the head but if you take a moment to think about it there's wonderful schadenfun to be had once you realise just how badly they are punishing the parents who created said monsters with their tantrums.


By the time the kids hit teenage years it's obvious the parents did not create the young demons. Mere mortals lack that power. They are earthly manifestations of pure evil. IMO teenage children are the genesis of the Biblical concept of original sin and somehow I must be punished for it.

"We had to visit our grandmother again this Christmas eve? F U A-holes"
 
2013-12-25 10:23:09 AM  
This is sad all around... she really needed the cosmetics.
/easy breezy desperation girl
 
2013-12-25 10:43:42 AM  

firesign: The incident report noted that Maldonado-Almond's mood swung from being upset to argumentative while in custody.

Boy, that's one hell of a mood shift, there.


"Uncooperative" means knowing you have rights.
 
2013-12-25 10:59:19 AM  
one crime at a time
 
2013-12-25 11:05:09 AM  
My Christmas wasn't quite that bad, but it does suck. I got pants.
 
2013-12-25 11:10:46 AM  
nickdaisy:

Anyone who is giving their kid an iphone three months after the 5S release is a tyrant and deserves to be lambasted via twitter. People wonder why their kids get bullied-- here's an idea: give them the tools they need to prevent being mocked. Buy them the proper clothes, proper accessories, proper vacations, and for God's sake teach them about cool people and losers. Our social fabric is becoming unwound.

2/10. Obviously parents do that anyway. Subtly and tacitly.
 
2013-12-25 11:11:50 AM  
throwbackattack.com

Now available with the great taste of Almonds!
 
2013-12-25 11:16:41 AM  
FTFA: The manager told police about a customer who had been in the store for about 90 minutes and that her purse was "becoming significantly larger as time went by."

90 minutes?!?

Must be a farking huge Dollar Tree. And why shoplift from a place where nothing costs more than one dollar? Turn a trick, buy a coffee mug; turn a trick, buy a 4pack of spoons; turn a trick, buy a plate... Works for me: in about two weeks of part-time labor I can stock my kitchen cabinet with complete service for 8.
 
2013-12-25 01:12:09 PM  
The SO and I both have bad cases of norovirus. Death would be preferable at this point.
 
2013-12-25 04:09:17 PM  

Big_Doofus: My Christmas wasn't quite that bad, but it does suck. I got pants.


Huh, I got work boots and I'm stoked.

Save the gifty gifts for women and children, dude.
 
2013-12-25 07:54:03 PM  

EdNortonsTwin: Big_Doofus: My Christmas wasn't quite that bad, but it does suck. I got pants.

Huh, I got work boots and I'm stoked.

Save the gifty gifts for women and children, dude.



fark off
 
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