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(Deadspin)   Any last-minute shoppers know where to find "a little thing that can turn into anything at anytime"?   (deadspin.com) divider line 47
    More: Unlikely, LAX airport, Steve Madden, Beanie Babies, DVD movies, American Girl, Ian Ziering, Nos, Monster High  
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6400 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Dec 2013 at 8:35 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-25 01:14:16 AM
Your ass?
 
2013-12-25 01:37:53 AM
Certainly nothing that can be given to children.
 
2013-12-25 01:46:22 AM
The Weeners nailed it:  "So she wants an old argument with your wife"?

I laughed myself silly at that.
 
2013-12-25 01:47:21 AM
ACK!  Filtpwned!!!

Look at the comment immediately following the article.  Sighhhhhhhh...
 
2013-12-25 01:52:39 AM
www.sosemarketing.com
 
2013-12-25 02:21:41 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: [www.sosemarketing.com image 500x500]


Raise.
i1214.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-25 03:36:26 AM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-25 03:46:34 AM
That little farker is asking for human embryonic stem cells for christmas? We need to put her on a watchlist of some sort.
 
2013-12-25 07:20:06 AM
i43.tinypic.com
 
2013-12-25 08:39:50 AM
static1.fjcdn.com
 
2013-12-25 08:45:11 AM

As a kid basically my Christmas wish list was most of the boy's toys in the Sears catalog, and one or two of the women modelling lingerie in the Women's Intimates section.


www.aperfectworld.org

 
2013-12-25 08:51:10 AM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-12-25 08:52:39 AM
fc06.deviantart.net
 
2013-12-25 08:53:31 AM
www.thebeveragestore.com
One bottle and you're the Sexiest World Heavyweight Champion & Rock Star Alive. Until you die a short time later.
 
2013-12-25 08:57:07 AM
Neutrino?
 
2013-12-25 09:01:27 AM
 
2013-12-25 09:02:52 AM

gopher321: [i43.tinypic.com image 408x359]


i1203.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-25 09:18:32 AM
Commenter nailed it on "a little thing that can turn into anything at anytime" with "She wants an old argument with your wife?"  Exquisite.
 
2013-12-25 09:28:04 AM
Odo?
 
2013-12-25 09:30:05 AM
i39.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-25 09:31:33 AM
A pencil.
 
2013-12-25 09:34:05 AM
In my pants.
 
2013-12-25 09:56:15 AM
jasoncouponking.com
 
2013-12-25 10:15:51 AM

HotWingAgenda: That little farker is asking for human embryonic stem cells for christmas? We need to put her on a watchlist of some sort.


i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-12-25 10:17:45 AM
FTA:   "A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."The fark is this? What am I, Galactus? Do you understand the catastrophic universal implications of possessing a shape-shifting, time-traveling device? Even Rob Gronkowski knows that isn't to be toyed with. You could turn it into a separate moon any time you like and then the Earth would be farking DESTROYED by the additional gravitation. You cannot be trusted with this at age 7. If such a thing existed and were affordable, I wouldn't have children. I would have a SPACE BROTHEL. There's a reason that we have the laws of physics in place. And you expect this thing to be portable as well? You cannot have this.

I had to stop and copy/pasta. I'm laughing so hard at this!
 
2013-12-25 10:23:01 AM
Craigslist
 
2013-12-25 10:25:17 AM
poorstudentblog.com
 
2013-12-25 10:31:31 AM
Missing from the list:

"A new dad, preferably one who wouldn't use his kid as clickbait to further his internet attention whoring."
 
2013-12-25 10:36:40 AM

AspectRatio: Missing from the list:

"A new dad, preferably one who wouldn't use his kid as clickbait to further his internet attention whoring."


As an author, wouldn't you write what you know?  I thought the article was at least mildly funny, particularly that whole Galactus bit.  Maybe you could lighten up, Francis?
 
2013-12-25 10:38:09 AM
Cash.
 
2013-12-25 10:38:28 AM
A pen and paper.
 
2013-12-25 10:51:04 AM

tetsoushima: AspectRatio: Missing from the list:

"A new dad, preferably one who wouldn't use his kid as clickbait to further his internet attention whoring."

As an author, wouldn't you write what you know?  I thought the article was at least mildly funny, particularly that whole Galactus bit.  Maybe you could lighten up, Francis?


Sorry, but the author comes across as a spazzy douche trying to earn "geek dad" cred by dropping f-bombs and references to voltron.

It's a lazy and insufferable writing style made worse by the fact that he's trotting his kids out to prove how funny and edgy he is.
 
2013-12-25 10:58:11 AM
backoutmagazine.files.wordpress.com

Anything, Anytime (with Anywhere thrown in gratis).
 
2013-12-25 11:01:49 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: The Weeners nailed it:  "So she wants an old argument with your wife"?

I laughed myself silly at that.


Yeah, that was pretty good!
 
2013-12-25 11:05:17 AM

AspectRatio: tetsoushima: AspectRatio: Missing from the list:

"A new dad, preferably one who wouldn't use his kid as clickbait to further his internet attention whoring."

As an author, wouldn't you write what you know?  I thought the article was at least mildly funny, particularly that whole Galactus bit.  Maybe you could lighten up, Francis?

Sorry, but the author comes across as a spazzy douche trying to earn "geek dad" cred by dropping f-bombs and references to voltron.

It's a lazy and insufferable writing style made worse by the fact that he's trotting his kids out to prove how funny and edgy he is.


I didn't get that impression at all from reading it. Maybe this is more about you then it is about the author...
 
2013-12-25 11:18:51 AM
Reason #1,452 why I don't have kids.

/Reason #1: Pushing 8 lb. bowling ball out of vagina.
//That's right, I went there.
///Merry Christmas, Fark.com!!!!
 
2013-12-25 11:24:11 AM

eas81: [encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 300x168]


Yea, I was going for that or a 3d printer.

And WTF is blanked out on the list? Was it just too much for our minds to comprehend?
 
2013-12-25 11:28:59 AM
Unless your daughter is Sailor Moon you should not give her a little thing that can turn into anything at anytime. Even then you're probably better off giving it to her friend Ami to look after.
 
2013-12-25 11:33:29 AM
drupal.org

/If I had a chameleon circuit
//I'd chameleon in the morning
///I'd chameleon in the evening
////All over this universe
 
2013-12-25 11:46:47 AM
The Federal Reserve?
 
2013-12-25 12:06:59 PM
"1,000 bucks." This is Christmas, not an Italian wedding. Uncle Vito isn't gonna slip you an envelope in between stints at the raw bar. We put thought into our gifts here.

I thought the whole things was mildly amusing with one very funny comment (we all know which by now), until I cam across this  ignorant stereotype. Making jokes around stereotypes is just lazy, especially when they are fundamentally wrong.

Having been to a few Italian weddings, proper, real, Italian weddings. In Italy, the only place where you can have an actual Italian wedding. I can reassure you that uncle Vito slipping you a large sum would not be usual. Now, perhaps the author is referring to some American weddings attended by people whose ancestors came over form Italy several generations ago thinking that this somehow qualifies as a typical Italian wedding. Let me assure him that it does not.
 
2013-12-25 12:16:18 PM
A completely incoherent article?
 
2013-12-25 12:57:03 PM

AspectRatio: tetsoushima: AspectRatio: Missing from the list:

"A new dad, preferably one who wouldn't use his kid as clickbait to further his internet attention whoring."

As an author, wouldn't you write what you know?  I thought the article was at least mildly funny, particularly that whole Galactus bit.  Maybe you could lighten up, Francis?

Sorry, but the author comes across as a spazzy douche trying to earn "geek dad" cred by dropping f-bombs and references to voltron.

It's a lazy and insufferable writing style made worse by the fact that he's trotting his kids out to prove how funny and edgy he is.



I feel like your perspective is a bit cynical.  I've added some emphasis above to point out what I feel might be unnecessarily negative inferences about the author's intent.  Perhaps you can't relate to the author's style or the content of the article (which is obviously fine), but that's a far cry from being able to know why he wrote it the way he did.

To me I saw the story as more of a weary parent's lament over being unable to meet the sometimes contradictory and nonsensical desires of a young child.  The article reflects my experiences as a parent and I 'get it.'  I only bring this up because I wonder if your criticisms reflect your own experiences.  Curious is all.
 
2013-12-25 01:25:43 PM

maddogdelta: I don't know, but here is something in case you give a flying fark


Now I know what to get my brother for his 30th birthday. Thanks.
 
2013-12-25 02:15:27 PM

AspectRatio: tetsoushima: AspectRatio: Missing from the list:

"A new dad, preferably one who wouldn't use his kid as clickbait to further his internet attention whoring."

As an author, wouldn't you write what you know?  I thought the article was at least mildly funny, particularly that whole Galactus bit.  Maybe you could lighten up, Francis?

Sorry, but the author comes across as a spazzy douche trying to earn "geek dad" cred by dropping f-bombs and references to voltron.

It's a lazy and insufferable writing style made worse by the fact that he's trotting his kids out to prove how funny and edgy he is.


Santa left you lots of coal, huh?
 
2013-12-25 05:31:12 PM
Duh!

Try the Onceler's place.

cdn2.content.compendiumblog.com
 
2013-12-25 11:18:48 PM
You are either looking for Al Capp's Schmoos (in which case try Dogpatch) or cash, in which case visit your friendly neighborhood bank (with a kind word and a gun).
 
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