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(News 13 Orlando)   Throwing peanut butter at your brother because his dog peed on the floor will land you in jail   (mynews13.com) divider line 67
    More: Florida, jail  
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3393 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Dec 2013 at 9:43 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-24 08:22:32 PM
Maybe he has a peanut allergy. Oh wait, that's a BS affliction invented by whining hypochondriacs
 
2013-12-24 08:31:54 PM
Is she chunky?
 
2013-12-24 09:13:38 PM
I can see an assault charge from a whole jar, but not for a spoonful. The cops must have been bored.
 
2013-12-24 09:45:43 PM

nickdaisy: Maybe he has a peanut allergy. Oh wait, that's a BS affliction invented by whining hypochondriacs

OBAMACRATS
 
2013-12-24 09:46:35 PM

fusillade762: I can see an assault charge from a whole jar, but not for a spoonful. The cops must have been bored.


They have solved all other crime in the city. It's about time these senseless crimes were spotlighted.
 
2013-12-24 09:46:57 PM
It's covered by Obamascare, whether you have it or not.
 
2013-12-24 09:47:25 PM
Can we have the people that called the cops arrested?

The police would not have to deal with this bullshiat and the people causing the problem would go to jail.

That's when Byrd threw the peanut butter at his face and the dog bit her in the leg.

That's when Byrd threw the peanut butter at his face and the dog bit her in the leg.
Good boy!
 
2013-12-24 09:47:25 PM
Good thing she didn't throw jelly too. She'd really be in a jam then.
 
2013-12-24 09:55:32 PM
They sound like they're married.

/ew
 
2013-12-24 09:58:22 PM
This is the spoon
That flung the food
That hit the man
That owned the dog
That peed on the floor
and bit the lady
That lived in the house that Jack built.
 
2013-12-24 10:03:39 PM
I'm starting to think that you can do any kind of harm you want to anyone as long as you're the first one to call the police and make a report.
 
2013-12-24 10:05:18 PM
Dude is doing it wrong.  Feed the peanut butter to the dog.  All the revenge you'll need.
 
2013-12-24 10:06:01 PM
Dudette
 
2013-12-24 10:06:14 PM
She'll be out on bail in a jif.
 
2013-12-24 10:07:06 PM

diaphoresis: fusillade762: I can see an assault charge from a whole jar, but not for a spoonful. The cops must have been bored.

They have solved all other crime in the city. It's about time these senseless crimes were spotlighted.


and the dog bit her.  the dog should be the one in trouble.
 
2013-12-24 10:10:18 PM

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: She'll be out on bail in a jif.


When somebody jiffs, I usually blame it on the dog, too.
 
2013-12-24 10:19:13 PM
I'm sure that's not the only way he's familiar with his dog and peanut butter..
 
2013-12-24 10:22:56 PM
When I was ten my sister was six,she accidentally fell down the stairs after I pushed her.My Mom,who was the most pleasant women you would ever meet was pissed at first then laughed her ass off when she got right up laughing herself.It was actually comical.I was scared also,then laughed.Last time I pushed someone down a staircase.I am babbling,I forget what I am here for. merry Holidays y'all!


/oh yeah peanut butter
 
2013-12-24 10:23:11 PM

styckx: I'm sure that's not the only way he's familiar with his dog and peanut butter..


and this is why he threw it at his sister ? dude - you are SICK and PERVERTED !!!

// your newsletter, can I subscribe to it ?
 
2013-12-24 10:24:43 PM
oh wait, I got that around the wrong way - I blame vodak
 
2013-12-24 10:25:46 PM

Slartibartfaster: oh wait, I got that around the wrong way - I blame vodak


I would've been more concerned if you weren't drunk on Christmas Eve

/cheers
 
2013-12-24 10:39:19 PM

Ryker's Peninsula: I'm starting to think that you can do any kind of harm you want to anyone as long as you're the first one to call the police and make a report.


I think there's alot of truth to that. I had a situation in MD and the cops basically said the same thing.
 
2013-12-24 11:01:58 PM
That floor really tied the room together.
 
2013-12-24 11:06:13 PM

phrawgh: It's covered by Obamascare, whether you have it or not.


Wat?

Seriously. An Obama joke. And an Obamacrat joke.

It was a f*cking article about a chick that flung peanut butter on her bro. What the f*ck? For Christmas I want one thread...ONE GODDAMN THREAD on the main page to not mention LOL democ*ntrepublictardFartbummerteabaggerLibtardos.

F*ck.


THIS IS F*CKING CHRISTMAS. THE SEASON OF PREPETUAL HOPE.
 
2013-12-24 11:06:50 PM
fark this shiat.

I'm going back to the duck-blowing thread.
 
2013-12-24 11:12:18 PM

W.C.fields forever: When I was ten my sister was six,she accidentally fell down the stairs after I pushed her.My Mom,who was the most pleasant women you would ever meet was pissed at first then laughed her ass off when she got right up laughing herself.It was actually comical.I was scared also,then laughed.Last time I pushed someone down a staircase.I am babbling,I forget what I am here for. merry Holidays y'all!


/oh yeah peanut butter


Burke Ramsey?
 
2013-12-24 11:18:10 PM

megarian: phrawgh: It's covered by Obamascare, whether you have it or not.

Wat?

Seriously. An Obama joke. And an Obamacrat joke.

It was a f*cking article about a chick that flung peanut butter on her bro. What the f*ck? For Christmas I want one thread...ONE GODDAMN THREAD on the main page to not mention LOL democ*ntrepublictardFartbummerteabaggerLibtardos.

F*ck.


THIS IS F*CKING CHRISTMAS. THE SEASON OF PREPETUAL HOPE.


I KNOW RIGHT!?!?!

/Thanks Obama.
 
2013-12-24 11:20:18 PM

rikkidoxx: Good thing she didn't throw jelly too. She'd really be in a jam then.


I sandwich you did there
 
2013-12-24 11:20:37 PM

Bucky Katt: diaphoresis: fusillade762: I can see an assault charge from a whole jar, but not for a spoonful. The cops must have been bored.

They have solved all other crime in the city. It's about time these senseless crimes were spotlighted.

and the dog bit her.  the dog she should be the one in trouble.


FTFY.

If a dog bites you, my first three questions are: What were you doing wrong? Why were you doing that? Where were your legal guardians?

It takes a lot of bad luck to be "innocently" attacked by a dog. If and only if those three questions don't solve the mystery, and it's a rare day they don't, do we investigate the dog's owner. If the owner's story checks out and the "victim" actually seems to be a victim without quotations do we FINALLY come to some confluence of events where the dog might possibly be to blame.

But truth be told it probably won't because by and large dogs are pretty damn nice. If they bite you, and you're not a prey species, chances are you started it, they were abused, or they had a medical problem in that order. And it's never rabies.
 
2013-12-24 11:23:54 PM

Matthew McSlutbeast: megarian: phrawgh: It's covered by Obamascare, whether you have it or not.

Wat?

Seriously. An Obama joke. And an Obamacrat joke.

It was a f*cking article about a chick that flung peanut butter on her bro. What the f*ck? For Christmas I want one thread...ONE GODDAMN THREAD on the main page to not mention LOL democ*ntrepublictardFartbummerteabaggerLibtardos.

F*ck.


THIS IS F*CKING CHRISTMAS. THE SEASON OF PREPETUAL HOPE.

I KNOW RIGHT!?!?!

/Thanks Obama.


*punches wall*

*vomits everywhere*
 
2013-12-24 11:25:38 PM

nickdaisy: Maybe he has a peanut allergy. Oh wait, that's a BS affliction invented by whining hypochondriacs


2/10 man, it's like you're not even trying...
 
2013-12-24 11:27:06 PM

megarian: *punches wall*

*vomits everywhere*


ya missed - I blame Santa
 
2013-12-24 11:28:11 PM

Wizard Drongo: nickdaisy: Maybe he has a peanut allergy. Oh wait, that's a BS affliction invented by whining hypochondriacs

2/10 man, it's like you're not even trying...


He's not necessarily wrong...

Those people that have a peanut allergy triggered by smell? That's not a true story.

No, it's not.
 
2013-12-24 11:33:07 PM

Bucky Katt: and the dog bit her. the dog should be the one in trouble.


He pissed on the floor and bit the biatch.

Dog or human, that's just how they roll in Florida.
 
2013-12-24 11:33:26 PM
::looks in fridge::

::considers throwablity of peanut butter::

::grabs another beer instead::
 
2013-12-24 11:38:47 PM
www.korpg.com

"Hey, you got your peanut butter in my dog urine!"

"And you got your dog urine in my peanut butter!"
 
2013-12-24 11:43:53 PM
Never stick your dick in cra...

Is that you dick in my peanut butter?

Is that your peanut butter in my dick?

Well ok then....
 
2013-12-24 11:58:07 PM
I'm willing to bet she was arrested for acting like a total asshat to the officers who showed up. They then took the battery law literally and hauled her biatchy self off to jail.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Cops are dickwads. I used to be one.
 
2013-12-25 12:00:29 AM

Mztlplx: I'm willing to bet she was arrested for acting like a total asshat to the officers who showed up. They then took the battery law literally and hauled her biatchy self off to jail.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Cops are dickwads. I used to be one.


So you're saying she probably got a little skippy?
 
2013-12-25 12:17:30 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mztlplx: I'm willing to bet she was arrested for acting like a total asshat to the officers who showed up. They then took the battery law literally and hauled her biatchy self off to jail.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Cops are dickwads. I used to be one.

So you're saying she probably got a little skippy?


And they carted her off in a Jif.
 
2013-12-25 12:22:29 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHdWmHxz3Gc"
 
2013-12-25 12:22:45 AM

megarian: Matthew McSlutbeast: megarian: phrawgh: *snip*

THIS IS F*CKING CHRISTMAS. THE SEASON OF PREPETUAL HOPE.

I KNOW RIGHT!?!?!

/Thanks Obama.

*punches wall*

*vomits everywhere*


MERICA'!
 
2013-12-25 12:35:33 AM

megarian: It was a f*cking article about a chick that flung peanut butter on her bro. What the f*ck? For Christmas I want one thread...ONE GODDAMN THREAD on the main page to not mention LOL democ*ntrepublictardFartbummerteabaggerLibtardos.


You realize however that this is the good point of this individual because if you did the research on the President Barack of the Obamas you would see that when this person was of the age of 7 years there was quite the food fight in the school of he. Yes I remember this as though it was yesterday when the aide of he did the retelling......

So there is little Mr. The President at the school and the friend of he says OM MAGOODNESS BARACK THE OBAMA I HAVE HEARD YOU WERE DOING THE GOSSIPING OF ME AND YOU DID THE SAYING THAT THERE WAS THE PROBLEM IN THE BATHROOM PERHAPS YOU SHOULD COME TO THIS PLACE!

Well he was the president one day and he did not need to have the tea leaves of the future to know that this was the trap because this person wished for doing the swirling motion dunk in the flushing toilet and so he says to the person I WILL NOT DO THIS IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING FOR SAYING THEN SAY THIS TO ME IN THE FACE!

So what did the playmate of he do but do the shoving on the shoulder of he. So the younger future president took the seven peas of the hoping and placed them into the line on the floor. What was he doing wondered the other children who were viewing this with much of the awe. Well I will tell you this what he was doing was to make the line and then he said to the bully I DARE YOU DO THE CROSSING OF THIS LINE.

Well the bully boy did this and so the future person to be the president of the United States of 50 Americas then took the lunch roll and put this on the shoulder of he. I DARE TO YOU FOR KNOCKING THIS OFF THE SHOULDER OF ME. Well what did the bully do? LAUGHTER OL this is the rhetorical question of the course because I have not yet tied this into the topic which is the thread as I do not wish for jacking the thread on. So yes he did knock this from the shoulder.

However then what was happening is that Little Barack of the Obamas grabbed the peanut butter from the plate of he and what was done with this? Why of course he did the smearing on the face and then he said to him YOU ARE STANDING IN PEA. LAUGHTERING TO THE OLS!!! Do you get this because he was making the pun! Just as this story where there was the dog pee but in this case we are talking about pea with the a and not with the e which is relevant because you see in the early part of this story what was mentioned by me was that he put the peas on the ground and so if you think about this now the boy is standing in this!

So you must excuse the mentally slow poster who had to make this the Obamacare joke. He was dropped as the child.
 
2013-12-25 12:37:45 AM
My sister use to rub peanut butter (or mayonnaise) on my glasses.

I'm pretty sure that both my sister and I would have life sentences based on this story.
 
2013-12-25 12:41:07 AM

meow said the dog: megarian: It was a f*cking article about a chick that flung peanut butter on her bro. What the f*ck? For Christmas I want one thread...ONE GODDAMN THREAD on the main page to not mention LOL democ*ntrepublictardFartbummerteabaggerLibtardos.

You realize however that this is the good point of this individual because if you did the research on the President Barack of the Obamas you would see that when this person was of the age of 7 years there was quite the food fight in the school of he. Yes I remember this as though it was yesterday when the aide of he did the retelling......

So there is little Mr. The President at the school and the friend of he says OM MAGOODNESS BARACK THE OBAMA I HAVE HEARD YOU WERE DOING THE GOSSIPING OF ME AND YOU DID THE SAYING THAT THERE WAS THE PROBLEM IN THE BATHROOM PERHAPS YOU SHOULD COME TO THIS PLACE!

Well he was the president one day and he did not need to have the tea leaves of the future to know that this was the trap because this person wished for doing the swirling motion dunk in the flushing toilet and so he says to the person I WILL NOT DO THIS IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING FOR SAYING THEN SAY THIS TO ME IN THE FACE!

So what did the playmate of he do but do the shoving on the shoulder of he. So the younger future president took the seven peas of the hoping and placed them into the line on the floor. What was he doing wondered the other children who were viewing this with much of the awe. Well I will tell you this what he was doing was to make the line and then he said to the bully I DARE YOU DO THE CROSSING OF THIS LINE.

Well the bully boy did this and so the future person to be the president of the United States of 50 Americas then took the lunch roll and put this on the shoulder of he. I DARE TO YOU FOR KNOCKING THIS OFF THE SHOULDER OF ME. Well what did the bully do? LAUGHTER OL this is the rhetorical question of the course because I have not yet tied this into the topic which is the thread as I do not wish for jacking the thread ...


Hehehehe

/Merry Christmas, meow
 
2013-12-25 12:43:46 AM

dkimball: My sister use to rub peanut butter on...


I've heard this story so many times. The middle may be different but the beginning and end are always the same.
 
2013-12-25 12:43:46 AM
She is 29??? And her BROTHER is the roommate?
 
2013-12-25 12:45:35 AM
May be it was still in the jar?
 
2013-12-25 12:45:45 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: /Merry Christmas, meow


I grant to you such the appreciation for this and I also wish for you to have the great Santa day!
 
2013-12-25 12:48:45 AM

megarian: fark this shiat.

I'm going back to the duck-blowing thread.


Better than the atheist thread though....

/far too many uppercase letters there
 
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