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(Wired)   How much energy would it take to melt all the gold in the new Hobbit film? Approximately 3.8 decacarriers. Caution: here there be science   (wired.com) divider line 75
    More: Interesting, The Hobbit, Dumbledore, coal plant, Smaug  
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5296 clicks; posted to Geek » on 24 Dec 2013 at 9:10 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-25 08:21:39 AM
Why does Peter Jackson hate us so?
 
2013-12-25 08:22:57 AM

img2u.info

"We only have one decacarrier"

 
2013-12-25 08:24:17 AM
Math and physics about imaginary events and beings? Perfectly fine! Math and physics against space colonization? Luddite!

Merry Space Christmas and Happy New Mars Year to all the species!

doglover: Aircraft carriers don't produce energy, they use it.


Are you going to change your spiel for 2014 or are you going to continue making such statements for the foreseeable future?
 
2013-12-25 09:16:07 AM
Caution: there be some epically bad writing.
 
2013-12-25 10:35:42 AM

Bondith: I'm a rabid Tolkien purist, but the changes from the book don't piss me off too much. For a few of them I can see why they were made.

Heat-resistant dwarves did bother me, as did the apparent serendipity of the giant gold statue pour being abandoned while underway the day Smaug attacked.


Postulates:
Jackson shot two movies, then expanded that footage into three.
The original script was written with beats for two movies, not three.

Hypotheses:
The final climactic scene of this movie, this battle that we are all talking about, did not exist in the original script.
It was written when the footage was expanded to three movies.
It was created to put a climactic battle at the end of movie two.
It was written in such a way to involve no additional live actor work beyond a little bit of green screen.
It was made almost entirely in CGI.
That's why it sucks.

Addendum:
The barrel chase scene was written to be the climax of the first of a two-movie series, thus its length and over the topness.
 
2013-12-25 11:49:59 AM

HindiDiscoMonster: Empty H: Ryker's Peninsula: Even if you make your Saving Throw?
What if I call on Orcus and roll two zeros on two 20 sided dice?

I am too weak to let this go. I am ashamed of myself that I had to reply. Tip of my hat to you sir.

You can't roll a 0 on a d20.

i rolled a double 0 on two 10 siders when trying to make my save against the power of the Talisman of Ultimate Evil.... lost a good cleric that day... friggin 38th level too


Your DM was a dick then, double 0 on two 10 siders is 100, not 0. You made your save.
 
2013-12-25 01:54:54 PM

tgambitg: HindiDiscoMonster: Empty H: Ryker's Peninsula: Even if you make your Saving Throw?
What if I call on Orcus and roll two zeros on two 20 sided dice?

I am too weak to let this go. I am ashamed of myself that I had to reply. Tip of my hat to you sir.

You can't roll a 0 on a d20.

i rolled a double 0 on two 10 siders when trying to make my save against the power of the Talisman of Ultimate Evil.... lost a good cleric that day... friggin 38th level too

Your DM was a dick then, double 0 on two 10 siders is 100, not 0. You made your save.


Why wouldn't it be 20 instead of 100?
 
2013-12-25 02:01:02 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Math and physics about imaginary events and beings? Perfectly fine! Math and physics against space colonization? Luddite!

Merry Space Christmas and Happy New Mars Year to all the species!

doglover: Aircraft carriers don't produce energy, they use it.

Are you going to change your spiel for 2014 or are you going to continue making such statements for the foreseeable future?


Pot, Kettle, Black - and all in one post. Well done. Well done.
 
2013-12-25 02:35:29 PM

derpy: Bondith: I'm a rabid Tolkien purist, but the changes from the book don't piss me off too much. For a few of them I can see why they were made.

Heat-resistant dwarves did bother me, as did the apparent serendipity of the giant gold statue pour being abandoned while underway the day Smaug attacked.

Postulates:
Jackson shot two movies, then expanded that footage into three.
The original script was written with beats for two movies, not three.

Hypotheses:
The final climactic scene of this movie, this battle that we are all talking about, did not exist in the original script.
It was written when the footage was expanded to three movies.
It was created to put a climactic battle at the end of movie two.
It was written in such a way to involve no additional live actor work beyond a little bit of green screen.
It was made almost entirely in CGI.
That's why it sucks.


Yeah, I'll buy that.  From a storytelling perspective, it also gives Thorin a bit more motivation and a bit more to do.  In the book, the dwarves never confronted the cause of the downfall of their kingdom, but instead some human took care of him.  There's a whole unfulfilled Dwarf Revenge Thing there.

They still don't get it in the movie, but at least they get to take a swing at Smaug and pretend they drove him off.

Addendum:
The barrel chase scene was written to be the climax of the first of a two-movie series, thus its length and over the topness.


I kept thinking "That looks a bit like Disneyland...except for the orcs."
 
2013-12-25 02:40:08 PM

derpy: Postulates:
Jackson shot two movies, then expanded that footage into three.
The original script was written with beats for two movies, not three.

Hypotheses:
The final climactic scene of this movie, this battle that we are all talking about, did not exist in the original script.
It was written when the footage was expanded to three movies.
It was created to put a climactic battle at the end of movie two.
It was written in such a way to involve no additional live actor work beyond a little bit of green screen.
It was made almost entirely in CGI.
That's why it sucks.

Addendum:
The barrel chase scene was written to be the climax of the first of a two-movie series, thus its length and over the topness.


I like this theory. Is it yours, or did you see it somewhere?  Whichever, it's smart.
 
2013-12-25 03:16:57 PM

gilatrout: tgambitg: HindiDiscoMonster: Empty H: Ryker's Peninsula: Even if you make your Saving Throw?
What if I call on Orcus and roll two zeros on two 20 sided dice?

I am too weak to let this go. I am ashamed of myself that I had to reply. Tip of my hat to you sir.

You can't roll a 0 on a d20.

i rolled a double 0 on two 10 siders when trying to make my save against the power of the Talisman of Ultimate Evil.... lost a good cleric that day... friggin 38th level too

Your DM was a dick then, double 0 on two 10 siders is 100, not 0. You made your save.

Why wouldn't it be 20 instead of 100?


No one should be using 2d10 to represent a 1d20 roll, you'll never end up with with a 1 and get a high median of 7-13 totals.  But if you're using 2d10 to simulate a 1d100 roll the first one acts as your '10's and double 0s is 100, there is no 0% (except in nerd appeal stats amirite?).  0 & 1 is 1, 0 & 9 is 9, 9 & 9 is 99, etc etc.

Now if you'll excuse me I hear the calling of a thirsty toilet.

/hope its not a mimic
 
2013-12-25 03:31:59 PM

Ishkur: hardinparamedic: I never thought this day would come.
I never thought the Lord of the Rings-verse could ever get more basement dweller nerdy than an AD&D first edition rulebook-using group on friday night.
I never, ever thought that the neckbeards could get thicker.
YOU ALL SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELVES. IVE LOST ALL FAITH IN HUMANITY BECAUSE OF YOU!

Just wait until someone tells you the existence of furries.


The existence of furries in and of itself isn't enough to kill faith in humanity.  Show the average person furries, and they'll probably go "meh".  Show them the sexualized ones, and they'll go "wtf?!?"  But you can't truly kill their faith in humanity until you show them the weird subgenres involving things like diapers and inflation.  To see these things is to be simultaneously made aware of and have your faith killed in things about humanity you previously never even knew to exist.
 
2013-12-25 08:11:14 PM
a Mission: Impossible (TOS) episode once featured melting a vault full of a Bad Guy's gold with an electric heater powered by an idling Jeep.  so 5 minutes to melt enough gold to drown a dragon?  sure, why not?
 
2013-12-25 09:40:00 PM

Bondith: B.L.Z. Bub: HindiDiscoMonster: Empty H: Ryker's Peninsula: Even if you make your Saving Throw?
What if I call on Orcus and roll two zeros on two 20 sided dice?

I am too weak to let this go. I am ashamed of myself that I had to reply. Tip of my hat to you sir.

You can't roll a 0 on a d20.

i rolled a double 0 on two 10 siders when trying to make my save against the power of the Talisman of Ultimate Evil.... lost a good cleric that day... friggin 38th level too

Alright, fellas, that's enough. It's bad enough we've got this movie to deal with that bears only a passing resemblance to Tolkien. Now we've gotta deal with you bringing that Tolkien ripoff crap into this thread? We're trying to run a classy operation here!

I'm a rabid Tolkien purist, but the changes from the book don't piss me off too much.  For a few of them I can see why they were made.

Heat-resistant dwarves did bother me, as did the apparent serendipity of the giant gold statue pour being abandoned while underway the day Smaug attacked.

/Tauriel is too much unadulterated badass for me to complain about


First of all, the only die I can ever recall being used for saving throws in D&D is a d20, and I've been playing since 1st edition AD&D, when character levels came with cool names.

Second: Heat resistant dwarves are not all that implausible.  They were creations of Aulë, and were designed to be highly durable.  Furthermore, in the  Nírnaeth Arnoediad , the Dwarves of Belegost were the only forces able to withstand the fire of Morgoth's dragons, even that of Glaurung.

Third:

img.fark.net
 
2013-12-25 10:04:43 PM
Speaking of vast and unlikely gold melting schemes, why hasn't anyone adapted any Neal Stephenson novels yet?
 
2013-12-25 10:06:36 PM
oh, and ^ spoiler alert
 
2013-12-25 10:56:16 PM

1stgenwhtrash: Speaking of vast and unlikely gold melting schemes, why hasn't anyone adapted any Neal Stephenson novels yet?


Hell, Jackson should be able to wring four or five movies out of that one. I'm expecting a badly done version of Snow Crash first though. Zodiac would probably be the most likely candidate to be actually done well as a stand alone movie.
 
2013-12-25 11:21:53 PM

derpy: Bondith: I'm a rabid Tolkien purist, but the changes from the book don't piss me off too much. For a few of them I can see why they were made.

Heat-resistant dwarves did bother me, as did the apparent serendipity of the giant gold statue pour being abandoned while underway the day Smaug attacked.

Postulates:
Jackson shot two movies, then expanded that footage into three.
The original script was written with beats for two movies, not three.

Hypotheses:
The final climactic scene of this movie, this battle that we are all talking about, did not exist in the original script.
It was written when the footage was expanded to three movies.
It was created to put a climactic battle at the end of movie two.
It was written in such a way to involve no additional live actor work beyond a little bit of green screen.
It was made almost entirely in CGI.
That's why it sucks.

Addendum:
The barrel chase scene was written to be the climax of the first of a two-movie series, thus its length and over the topness.


Am I the only one who felt that the furnaces, the barrel scene, and the chase with the goblins at the end of the first film all smacked heavily of being inserted/expanded purely for later video game purposes?

I mean, I'm not a heavy gamer or anything, but those scenes all felt like every hackneyed "boss battle" I've ever played.
 
2013-12-26 12:07:36 AM
Believe me, Mr. Scientist, no one who saw the Hobbit had it confused with a  chemistry lesson, so just calm the fark down there, buddy. there was a god damn dragon the size of a mcMansion flying around. It's not math class. It's fun.
 
2013-12-26 12:11:24 AM

Parthenogenetic: Second: Heat resistant dwarves are not all that implausible. They were creations of Aulë, and were designed to be highly durable. Furthermore, in the Nírnaeth Arnoediad , the Dwarves of Belegost were the only forces able to withstand the fire of Morgoth's dragons, even that of Glaurung.


Hmmm...good point, well argued.  Doesn't explain Bilbo or all the wooden objects, but the dwarves suddenly bother me a lot less.
 
2013-12-26 12:46:46 AM
Maybe if the dwarves had induction furnaces but no way in hell convection could work that fast.

In other news fark you Hollywood. You had one goddamned job and it was to make a movie out of a book that sold millions of copies for decades. Even still, you scum sucking low life's just had to rewrite it. Fark you to hell.

It's not worth going to the theatre to see this crap. It's just another contrived plot to have a bunch of exploding shiat and fireballs for no good goddamned reason.

This is coming from a guy who does 3d visual fx and particle animations for a living.
 
2013-12-26 01:16:31 AM

EbolaNYC: Maybe if the dwarves had induction furnaces but no way in hell convection could work that fast.

In other news fark you Hollywood. You had one goddamned job and it was to make a movie out of a book that sold millions of copies for decades. Even still, you scum sucking low life's just had to rewrite it. Fark you to hell.

It's not worth going to the theatre to see this crap. It's just another contrived plot to have a bunch of exploding shiat and fireballs for no good goddamned reason.

This is coming from a guy who does 3d visual fx and particle animations for a living.


Having a bad holiday?
 
2013-12-26 01:55:07 AM

JammerJim: derpy: Postulates:
Jackson shot two movies, then expanded that footage into three.
The original script was written with beats for two movies, not three.

Hypotheses:
The final climactic scene of this movie, this battle that we are all talking about, did not exist in the original script.
It was written when the footage was expanded to three movies.
It was created to put a climactic battle at the end of movie two.
It was written in such a way to involve no additional live actor work beyond a little bit of green screen.
It was made almost entirely in CGI.
That's why it sucks.

Addendum:
The barrel chase scene was written to be the climax of the first of a two-movie series, thus its length and over the topness.

I like this theory. Is it yours, or did you see it somewhere?  Whichever, it's smart.


mine. I over-analyze fiction as a hobby.
 
2013-12-26 04:51:39 AM

CourtroomWolf: Ishkur: hardinparamedic: I never thought this day would come.
I never thought the Lord of the Rings-verse could ever get more basement dweller nerdy than an AD&D first edition rulebook-using group on friday night.
I never, ever thought that the neckbeards could get thicker.
YOU ALL SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELVES. IVE LOST ALL FAITH IN HUMANITY BECAUSE OF YOU!

Just wait until someone tells you the existence of furries.

The existence of furries in and of itself isn't enough to kill faith in humanity.  Show the average person furries, and they'll probably go "meh".  Show them the sexualized ones, and they'll go "wtf?!?"  But you can't truly kill their faith in humanity until you show them the weird subgenres involving things like diapers and inflation.  To see these things is to be simultaneously made aware of and have your faith killed in things about humanity you previously never even knew to exist.


Behold: The End Bringer.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-26 07:46:15 AM

deschinc: 1stgenwhtrash: Speaking of vast and unlikely gold melting schemes, why hasn't anyone adapted any Neal Stephenson novels yet?

Hell, Jackson should be able to wring four or five movies out of that one. I'm expecting a badly done version of Snow Crash first though. Zodiac would probably be the most likely candidate to be actually done well as a stand alone movie.


I wouldn't mind seeing Reamde either. It shouldn't be hard to put together a good version of that. Apologies for the threadjack.
 
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