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(My Fox DC)   Nice list: Leaving cookies and milk for Santa. Naughty list: Shooting Santa in the back with a pellet gun while he's giving away toys   (myfoxdc.com) divider line 43
    More: Dumbass, Santa Claus, air guns  
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2117 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Dec 2013 at 2:17 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-24 02:20:07 PM  
biatch gave me coal!
 
2013-12-24 02:21:04 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-24 02:21:43 PM  
//woops....too many 'o'
 
2013-12-24 02:22:16 PM  
This sounds like the work of Jeff Bezos' business development team.
 
2013-12-24 02:22:22 PM  
Dear Santa,

You are a biatch nubian. No, scratch that. Dear Santa, you are a biatch *ass* nubian.
 
2013-12-24 02:23:06 PM  
You'll shoot your eye out, kid!
 
2013-12-24 02:24:26 PM  
But the last time I played Father Christmas
I stood outside a department store
A gang of kids came over and mugged me
And knocked my reindeer to the floor
 
2013-12-24 02:24:36 PM  
Little bastard shot me in the ass
 
2013-12-24 02:25:26 PM  
That's not Santa, Santa is white he just is.
 
2013-12-24 02:29:05 PM  
www.sinanbastas.com
 
2013-12-24 02:31:07 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: You'll shoot your eye out, kid!


Or at least a pellet in the back...
 
2013-12-24 02:31:58 PM  
OW OW!

Sir, do you want me to call 911?

OWWW! OW! OOOW!

Sir, do you want me to call 911?

OWWWWWWWW!!!!!


Hooray for brain surgeons!
 
2013-12-24 02:34:17 PM  
Wanted for questioning

www.imfdb.org
 
2013-12-24 02:45:54 PM  
static.someecards.com
 
2013-12-24 02:48:49 PM  
A man dressed as Santa Claus at a toy giveaway in southeast Washington, D.C., is recovering after being shot in the back with a pellet gun.
 
2013-12-24 02:50:23 PM  
graphics8.nytimes.com

Caught in the act!
 
2013-12-24 02:54:35 PM  
SE DC.  Hoodrats.
 
2013-12-24 02:59:07 PM  
Another article with a few more details.

Witnesses report hearing two shots. Police believe they came from a second story window in a nearby building.

Unknown if there was a 2nd shooter on a grassy knoll.
 
2013-12-24 03:01:20 PM  
athenacinema.com

Seen standing on the grassy knoll.

images.sodahead.com

Wanted for questioning.
 
2013-12-24 03:02:36 PM  
Dumbass is right!  Giving away free stuff, even toys, is socialism at its worst.  This is 'Murica; we don't go in for that socialist stuff (except Social Security and Medicare, but hose are entitlements, which I totally deserve.).  Santa's lucky, he got off easy...this time.
 
2013-12-24 03:03:14 PM  

Redwing: Another article with a few more details.

Witnesses report hearing two shots. Police believe they came from a second story window in a nearby building.

Unknown if there was a 2nd shooter on a grassy knoll.


I don't know about a grassy knoll, but here's a gassy gnoll:

www.gameknightreviews.com
 
2013-12-24 03:17:50 PM  
Now Santa is going to be pissed

cdn2-b.examiner.com
 
2013-12-24 03:30:34 PM  
Is greeting Santa wearing nothing but a red lace teddy considered naughty or nice?
 
2013-12-24 03:30:46 PM  
No matter what happens, no matter how nice, some asshole has to step up and ruin things for others. I'll bet after he was shot, all those kids in line 1. never got to see Santa, and 2. never got gifts. I hope the little bastard who did this finds he has no purpose in life, and kills himself in a gruesome and bloody manner.
 
2013-12-24 03:31:47 PM  

Ambivalence: Is greeting Santa wearing nothing but a red lace teddy considered naughty or nice?


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-24 03:34:59 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-24 03:42:47 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: No matter what happens, no matter how nice, some asshole has to step up and ruin things for others. I'll bet after he was shot, all those kids in line 1. never got to see Santa, and 2. never got gifts. I hope the little bastard who did this finds he has no purpose in life, and kills himself in a gruesome and bloody manner.


I remember after Katrina reading a blog entry by a veteran who happened to have his own deuce-and-a-half truck and took it upon himself to deliver supplies to the outlying places where the main relief forces weren't able to reach. At one of his stops, the guys who helped him unload stole his pain medication for his injured back, then some guys started shooting at him. He had to fire back with his .45 to escape. Hope the people who didn't get their water and food found the idiots and ripped out their fingernails, but the inbred morons probably just thought he was a big meanie for running off after being robbed and shot at.
 
2013-12-24 03:54:42 PM  

nyseattitude: [static.someecards.com image 420x294]


1-900-YOUR-MOM
 
2013-12-24 04:06:35 PM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Dear Santa,

You are a biatch nubian. No, scratch that. Dear Santa, you are a biatch *ass* nubian.


You gonna pay what you owe, Santa
 
2013-12-24 04:09:18 PM  

leonel: Wanted for questioning

[www.imfdb.org image 500x282]


You're doing it wrong.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs1/1487579_o.gif

There is the appropriate image.
 
2013-12-24 04:20:05 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Little bastard shot me in the ass


So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whisky bottle and...I've been there ever since.
 
2013-12-24 04:55:32 PM  
love the comments in TFA, it's full of herpaderp about how it was probably a racist white Fox News viewer. HINT #1: DC, HINT #2: bars on windows. HINT #3: shots fired from 2nd floor of said houses
 
2013-12-24 06:07:25 PM  

FriarReb98: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Little bastard shot me in the ass

So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whisky bottle and...I've been there ever since.


At an old saloon on a street of mud, there at a table, dealing stud sat the dirty mangy dog who named me sue. I knew that snake was my own sweet dad from a worn out picture my mother'd had and I knew that scar on his face and his evil eye-a. He was big and bent and grey and old and I looked at him and my blood ran cold and I said, my name is SUE! How do you DO!! Now you gonna die!

Got nothin.
 
2013-12-24 06:27:57 PM  

RussianPooper: A man dressed as Santa Claus at a toy giveaway in southeast Washington, D.C., is recovering after being shot in the back with a pellet gun.


I have a pellet gun that'll kill small game (break action beeman). If I shot you with it, you can bet your ass that you'd be at the ER getting a pellet dug out of you.
He may have needed minor surgery.
 
2013-12-24 06:35:45 PM  
Santa's response:

www.screencraft.org
 
2013-12-24 07:36:16 PM  
Just checking to make sure Young Reezy got his shoutout.

/AKA Riley Escobar
 
2013-12-24 08:19:04 PM  
Dear Santa,
 You are a biatch n***a. No, scratch that.
Wait wait wait hold up hold up hold up
Dear Santa,
You are a biatch *ass* n***a. I heard they hired extra security to protect you. That's a biatch move, Santa. I'm coming for that ass again. Until you pay what you owe.
Sincurly yours,
The Santa Stalker.
i279.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-24 08:36:53 PM  

leonel: Wanted for questioning

[www.imfdb.org image 500x282]


Krab: Dear Santa,
 You are a biatch n***a. No, scratch that.
Wait wait wait hold up hold up hold up
Dear Santa,
You are a biatch *ass* n***a. I heard they hired extra security to protect you. That's a biatch move, Santa. I'm coming for that ass again. Until you pay what you owe.
Sincurly yours,
The Santa Stalker.
[i279.photobucket.com image 480x272]


Well, I was gonna b*tch out Riley Freeman, but I see that base has been covered. XD
 
2013-12-24 08:58:15 PM  
Oh, yay! The attempted assassination of Santa Claus is on YouTube!
 
2013-12-24 09:04:26 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: Ambivalence: Is greeting Santa wearing nothing but a red lace teddy considered naughty or nice?


i165.photobucket.com
This needs a third line: "(hot chicks & MILFs only)"
 
2013-12-24 09:21:57 PM  

DirtyOldGeek: Dumbass is right!  Giving away free stuff, even toys, is socialism at its worst.  This is 'Murica; we don't go in for that socialist stuff (except Social Security and Medicare, but hose are entitlements, which I totally deserve.).  Santa's lucky, he got off easy...this time.


You're trying too hard.
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-12-24 09:49:04 PM  
You know, Teddy Roosevelt once gave a two hour speech, before seeking treatment, after getting shot by a real gun, by a real assassin.  This guy couldn't stay in character, in front of all those kids, after suffering the equivalent of a bee sting.  I take that back, bee stings are at least venomous, and can sometimes actually be be lethal.  And yes, I have been shot by bb guns, plenty of times.  My friends were sociopaths growing up.
 
2013-12-25 10:29:21 AM  

Some Coke Drinking Guy: You know, Teddy Roosevelt once gave a two hour speech, before seeking treatment, after getting shot by a real gun, by a real assassin.  This guy couldn't stay in character, in front of all those kids, after suffering the equivalent of a bee sting.  I take that back, bee stings are at least venomous, and can sometimes actually be be lethal.  And yes, I have been shot by bb guns, plenty of times.  My friends were sociopaths growing up.


He was hit with a pellet gun, there could be a slight difference in pain and injury...

img33.photobucket.com
 
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