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(Addicting Info)   And blessed is Conservapedia for it will inherit the kingdom of stupidity   (addictinginfo.org) divider line 366
    More: Stupid, Conservapedia, Aramaic, social injustice, animal sacrifices, stupidity, Phyllis Schlafly, AlterNet, Buddy Christ  
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8617 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Dec 2013 at 2:52 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-24 11:13:47 AM
 
2013-12-24 11:15:57 AM
How do you inherit what you already own?
 
2013-12-24 11:17:29 AM
I wonder if the conservative bible will mention the illusive tree octopus in it.
 
2013-12-24 11:33:22 AM

Because People in power are Stupid: And it's real:  http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project


Yeah, I'm lacking words to describe the disgust I'm feeling.
 
2013-12-24 11:34:48 AM

Because People in power are Stupid: And it's real:  http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project


holy sh*t.
 
2013-12-24 11:36:13 AM
I thought it was bad when the 700 Club "modernized" the Bible in "The Book", for example when they changed 'torch' to 'flashlight', but this? Editing the actual quotes of Jesus of Nazareth in the Bible to suit your political aims, or omitting quotes entirely? For supposedly good Christian people, how is this not the height of Blasphemy? How dare they edit the Word of God?

I'm not a Christian ("Recovering Catholic", actually), but this seriously offends even me. If you are a Christian, the Bible is supposed to be the most holy book there is, something that you learn from and use as a tool to help you lead a life in Christ's teachings. You don't change what it says, or start ripping out parts, just because it doesn't fit your political view. But then again, this is from some of the same people who scream that Homosexuality is against God's Law, but still wear mixed-fiber clothing.

Hypocrisy has a new benchmark low, and this project is it.
 
2013-12-24 11:37:46 AM
I'm surprised they left in the "troubling" parts of Luke 3:23 vs Mathew 1:1 which give conflicting accounts of Jesus ancestry.

You see the issue is that the Messiah must be a descendant of David (as described by 2 Samuel 7:12 )... yet both conflicting genealogies ignore this supposed "virgin" birth.
 
2013-12-24 11:42:50 AM
How is this any different than any of the other billions of times that "christians" used the Bible to subjugate and control people?  They're just being more honest about it.

/hell, men wrote it, men can rewrite it.
 
2013-12-24 11:49:14 AM

jchic: How is this any different than any of the other billions of times that "christians" used the Bible to subjugate and control people?  They're just being more honest about it.

/hell, men wrote it, men can rewrite it.


True, but at the same time, to be so blatantly evil - yes, evil - about what they are doing and why? It's disgusting. Where the Bible itself has been edited and re-editied likely hundreds of times over the centuries, that was done for a variety of reasons. This is clearly for one reason alone: To make Conservatives feel better about acting completely against the teachings of Jesus, while still claiming to follow his word. This is simply pure, unmitigated evil.
 
2013-12-24 11:51:27 AM
All I need to know about conservapedia is this:  "Simply put, E=mc² is Liberal Claptrap"

Stopped reading there.
 
2013-12-24 11:58:37 AM
Going to be rather difficult to argue for literal interpretation and Fundamentalism then.

But I'm sure their damaged brains will give it their all nonetheless.
 
2013-12-24 12:02:11 PM
They could do better. Like this guy:

assets.nydailynews.com

Not only did he rewrite the bible, he's conservative and he told people that he's the messiah.
 
2013-12-24 12:05:07 PM
Paging Bloody William, will Bloody William please report to thread 8074205
 
2013-12-24 12:05:12 PM
A Colbert Report interview featured this project.

Hah!
 
2013-12-24 12:14:05 PM
Wait...so the Bible has a liberal bias?
 
2013-12-24 12:14:45 PM

what_now: Wait...so the Bible has a liberal bias?


Only if you actually read it.  Especially the red letters.
 
2013-12-24 12:28:16 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: How do you inherit what you already own?


You can't, but that is why inheritance taxes are an abomination in God's eyes.
 
2013-12-24 12:33:13 PM
My Poe detector exploded.
 
2013-12-24 12:47:53 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: I'm surprised they left in the "troubling" parts of Luke 3:23 vs Mathew 1:1 which give conflicting accounts of Jesus ancestry.

You see the issue is that the Messiah must be a descendant of David (as described by 2 Samuel 7:12 )... yet both conflicting genealogies ignore this supposed "virgin" birth.


I think it's just born into the house of David, which through his "earthly" father he would be.
 
2013-12-24 01:05:13 PM

Irving Maimway: Because People in power are Stupid: I'm surprised they left in the "troubling" parts of Luke 3:23 vs Mathew 1:1 which give conflicting accounts of Jesus ancestry.

You see the issue is that the Messiah must be a descendant of David (as described by 2 Samuel 7:12 )... yet both conflicting genealogies ignore this supposed "virgin" birth.

I think it's just born into the house of David, which through his "earthly" father he would be.


Back when -they didn't know about DNA. How was Jesus descended from David if he was immaculately conceived?

It was explained to me by a Christian fundamentalist that there were no conflicts in the Bible and that the inherent answer to this was that there were multiple miracles. Hence, Joseph can have two different fathers names and Joseph's Davidian DNA was passed to Jesus via divine intervention.
 
2013-12-24 01:16:00 PM
I don't see the problem with this.  It's like Mickey Mouse.  Walt Disney invented Mickey Mouse and now he is dead, so people need to carry on Walt Disney's legacy.  It is not about rewriting history to fulfill an agenda.  It is about taking God's work and making it better.  And God bless you, Walt Disney, for inventing Mickey Mouse.
 
2013-12-24 01:19:05 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Irving Maimway: Because People in power are Stupid: I'm surprised they left in the "troubling" parts of Luke 3:23 vs Mathew 1:1 which give conflicting accounts of Jesus ancestry.

You see the issue is that the Messiah must be a descendant of David (as described by 2 Samuel 7:12 )... yet both conflicting genealogies ignore this supposed "virgin" birth.

I think it's just born into the house of David, which through his "earthly" father he would be.

Back when -they didn't know about DNA. How was Jesus descended from David if he was immaculately conceived?

It was explained to me by a Christian fundamentalist that there were no conflicts in the Bible and that the inherent answer to this was that there were multiple miracles. Hence, Joseph can have two different fathers names and Joseph's Davidian DNA was passed to Jesus via divine intervention.


Wow. See I took it that as the adopted son of Joseph, he's born into David's house, so while no DNA would (and this is all a massive hypothetical) be passed on, being adopted into David's line at birth was close enough for government work.

I'm sure someone with a GED in Biblical Studies can set us both straight as to what the dogma is.
 
2013-12-24 01:22:57 PM

Mike_LowELL: I don't see the problem with this.  It's like Mickey Mouse.  Walt Disney invented Mickey Mouse and now he is dead, so people need to carry on Walt Disney's legacy.  It is not about rewriting history to fulfill an agenda.  It is about taking God's work and making it better.  And God bless you, Walt Disney, for inventing Mickey Mouse.


Well, I did Nietzsche that coming
 
2013-12-24 01:24:12 PM

Mike_LowELL: I don't see the problem with this.  It's like Mickey Mouse.  Walt Disney invented Mickey Mouse and now he is dead, so people need to carry on Walt Disney's legacy.  It is not about rewriting history to fulfill an agenda.  It is about taking God's work and making it better.  And God bless you, Walt Disney, for inventing Mickey Mouse.


Or we could just go with this theory and endorse the works of these incredible scholars on their grand project.
 
2013-12-24 01:27:13 PM

Irving Maimway: Because People in power are Stupid: I'm surprised they left in the "troubling" parts of Luke 3:23 vs Mathew 1:1 which give conflicting accounts of Jesus ancestry.

You see the issue is that the Messiah must be a descendant of David (as described by 2 Samuel 7:12 )... yet both conflicting genealogies ignore this supposed "virgin" birth.

I think it's just born into the house of David, which through his "earthly" father he would be.


If my wife gets pregnant via artificial insemination from donor sperm, the resulting child would totally be my direct descendant.
 
2013-12-24 02:03:38 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Irving Maimway: Because People in power are Stupid: I'm surprised they left in the "troubling" parts of Luke 3:23 vs Mathew 1:1 which give conflicting accounts of Jesus ancestry.

You see the issue is that the Messiah must be a descendant of David (as described by 2 Samuel 7:12 )... yet both conflicting genealogies ignore this supposed "virgin" birth.

I think it's just born into the house of David, which through his "earthly" father he would be.

Back when -they didn't know about DNA. How was Jesus descended from David if he was immaculately conceived?

It was explained to me by a Christian fundamentalist that there were no conflicts in the Bible and that the inherent answer to this was that there were multiple miracles. Hence, Joseph can have two different fathers names and Joseph's Davidian DNA was passed to Jesus via divine intervention.


So, magic then.

Seems though actual Christian followers would call this rewriting of their holy text heresy, right? Isn't that frowned upon or is that not a thing anymore?
 
2013-12-24 02:14:53 PM

dr_blasto: So, magic then.

Seems though actual Christian followers would call this rewriting of their holy text heresy, right? Isn't that frowned upon or is that not a thing anymore?


Don't confuse me for a follower... I just have a mild interest in the Bible. Gnostic Texts are far more interesting which were considered so heretical at the time that Early Christians would ignore those passages in the bible about not murdering people.

Conservatives have gone so far off the deep end that they eschew normal sources of information like Wikipedia and opt for tripe like Conservatardia. It doesn't surprise me that they want their own bible too.

d16jfyletng9p5.cloudfront.net
 
2013-12-24 02:20:19 PM

nekom: what_now: Wait...so the Bible has a liberal bias?

Only if you actually read it.  Especially the red letters.


That might even lead to this
 
2013-12-24 02:21:56 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: They could do better. Like this guy:

[assets.nydailynews.com image 635x442]

Not only did he rewrite the bible, he's conservative and he told people that he's the messiah.


AS IF the messiah would wear a paper crown
 
2013-12-24 02:24:16 PM
While this is more silliness being perpetrated by today's totalitarian conservative movement, it's also Chapter 8,535,376 in "religious text being edited to suit a contemporary political agenda." Don't act so surprised.
 
2013-12-24 02:33:26 PM

dr_blasto: Seems though actual Christian followers would call this rewriting of their holy text heresy, right? Isn't that frowned upon or is that not a thing anymore?


Heresy isn't really a thing in the modern age. Look at pope francis calling the prosperity bible folks pagans, instead of the more correct label heretics. I don't disagree with you, this is text book heresy, it's just christians don't care how you define christianity anymore.
 
2013-12-24 02:46:41 PM

dr_blasto: Because People in power are Stupid: Irving Maimway: Because People in power are Stupid: I'm surprised they left in the "troubling" parts of Luke 3:23 vs Mathew 1:1 which give conflicting accounts of Jesus ancestry.

You see the issue is that the Messiah must be a descendant of David (as described by 2 Samuel 7:12 )... yet both conflicting genealogies ignore this supposed "virgin" birth.

I think it's just born into the house of David, which through his "earthly" father he would be.

Back when -they didn't know about DNA. How was Jesus descended from David if he was immaculately conceived?

It was explained to me by a Christian fundamentalist that there were no conflicts in the Bible and that the inherent answer to this was that there were multiple miracles. Hence, Joseph can have two different fathers names and Joseph's Davidian DNA was passed to Jesus via divine intervention.

So, magic then.

Seems though actual Christian followers would call this rewriting of their holy text heresy, right? Isn't that frowned upon or is that not a thing anymore?




I thought that the Jews followed genealogy through the mother...or is that a recent thing?
 
2013-12-24 02:50:17 PM

Darth_Lukecash: I thought that the Jews followed genealogy through the mother...or is that a recent thing?


Probably
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matrilineality_in_Judaism#The_historica l_ debate
 
2013-12-24 02:54:38 PM
Are these bible stories you rewrite to make yourself feel better?
 
2013-12-24 02:58:05 PM

enry: My Poe detector exploded.


+1

I always thought Conservapedia was just a troll site.
 
2013-12-24 03:00:01 PM
And this is their first efforts results?

s28.postimg.org
 
2013-12-24 03:00:04 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: dr_blasto: So, magic then.

Seems though actual Christian followers would call this rewriting of their holy text heresy, right? Isn't that frowned upon or is that not a thing anymore?

Don't confuse me for a follower... I just have a mild interest in the Bible. Gnostic Texts are far more interesting which were considered so heretical at the time that Early Christians would ignore those passages in the bible about not murdering people.

Conservatives have gone so far off the deep end that they eschew normal sources of information like Wikipedia and opt for tripe like Conservatardia. It doesn't surprise me that they want their own bible too.

[d16jfyletng9p5.cloudfront.net image 500x469]


The current conservative-land is so far outside of reality, they need to rewrite their own origin stories. That they would also have to rewrite the bible to use it to create the framework for blind obedience to their morality isn't nearly as far out there as anything else they yammer on about. The problem, to my observation at least, is that I don't see real Christians calling this out for what it really is.

These are often the same people complaining about gay marriage, birth control and abortion.

Either way, how bankrupt does your ideology have to be to need to invent your own history and fact sets to support it since actual reality and history proves the exact opposite? Conservatardia seems an apt description.
 

lockers: dr_blasto: Seems though actual Christian followers would call this rewriting of their holy text heresy, right? Isn't that frowned upon or is that not a thing anymore?

Heresy isn't really a thing in the modern age. Look at pope francis calling the prosperity bible folks pagans, instead of the more correct label heretics. I don't disagree with you, this is text book heresy, it's just christians don't care how you define christianity anymore.


Paganism because they would be followers of Mammon as opposed to Jesus?
 
2013-12-24 03:01:23 PM
The other day I posted something about this on Facebook. My spell check tried to change Andrew Schlafly's last name to schlemiel. I took this to mean God has some opinions on the issue.

/lurked for years
//first fark post
///did I do it right?
 
2013-12-24 03:02:18 PM

Irving Maimway: Wow. See I took it that as the adopted son of Joseph, he's born into David's house, so while no DNA would (and this is all a massive hypothetical) be passed on, being adopted into David's line at birth was close enough for government work.

I'm sure someone with a GED in Biblical Studies can set us both straight as to what the dogma is.


Jewish lineage is matriarchal, so what matters most is if Mary is from David's line, and at least one of the gospels(I forget which) explicitly says she is.

Joseph was also from the line of David, though it is not quite as relevant.

Anyway, as to the article, OLD NEWS IS SO EXCITING!!
 
2013-12-24 03:03:00 PM
Well, if Thomas Jefferson can do it, I guess these guys can too.
 
2013-12-24 03:04:30 PM
They've been misinterpretting the bible for years, as least this should standardize their ridiculous claims of what the bible says.
 
2013-12-24 03:06:46 PM

Hog and Hominy: The other day I posted something about this on Facebook. My spell check tried to change Andrew Schlafly's last name to schlemiel. I took this to mean God has some opinions on the issue.

/lurked for years
//first fark post
///did I do it right?


Wait and see if someone calls you an idiot

/if so, yes
 
2013-12-24 03:08:21 PM
Isn't there only one thing to do? Take this project by the horns and make it "conservative" in the same way that the Colbert Report is "conservative?"
 
2013-12-24 03:08:23 PM

grumpfuff: Irving Maimway: Wow. See I took it that as the adopted son of Joseph, he's born into David's house, so while no DNA would (and this is all a massive hypothetical) be passed on, being adopted into David's line at birth was close enough for government work.

I'm sure someone with a GED in Biblical Studies can set us both straight as to what the dogma is.

Jewish lineage is matriarchal, so what matters most is if Mary is from David's line, and at least one of the gospels(I forget which) explicitly says she is.

Joseph was also from the line of David, though it is not quite as relevant.

Anyway, as to the article, OLD NEWS IS SO EXCITING!!



this might actually bear repeating
sometimes i actually forget how wicked people can be
ill give im a pass on this one
 
2013-12-24 03:08:41 PM
What are the odds they're going to add the line "Jesus helps those who help themselves"?
 
2013-12-24 03:11:17 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-24 03:12:28 PM
Good god that's farking stupid.

But there again so is Time Cube and Encyclopedia Dramatica. You're NEVER going to find a shortage of dumb things that piss you off, might as well have a sensible chuckle instead.
 
2013-12-24 03:13:30 PM
"FOX News: Fair and Balanced"
"Democratic Republic of the Congo"
"Conservapedia: The Trustworthy Encyclopedia"

Ever notice how, when some organization has an adjective in their name/motto, they are usually nothing like the thing the adjective describes?
 
2013-12-24 03:16:53 PM

jchic: /hell, men wrote it, men can rewrite it.


And that would be a major difference between Christians and Jews, as the Torah is almost unchanged over several thousand years.
 
2013-12-24 03:17:34 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: They could do better. Like this guy:

[assets.nydailynews.com image 635x442]

Not only did he rewrite the bible, he's conservative and he told people that he's the messiah.



He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
 
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