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(io9)   Suddenly, no more bananas   (io9.com) divider line 158
    More: Scary, Mozambique, blight, bananas, fungus  
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18045 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2013 at 8:25 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



158 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-23 11:31:44 PM

doglover: Gyrfalcon: if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.

You have no idea how special CA weather is, do ya? You bastards don't even have winter.


Hm, there must be some other reason it was so cold in my office today I couldn't feel my feet.

(motherf*ckers won't fix the heater...I bet it will be repaired just in time for summer)
 
2013-12-23 11:33:18 PM
"Suddenly" has lost all meaning, given that I heard this story maybe 5 years ago now.
 
2013-12-23 11:35:31 PM
No more bananas?

25.media.tumblr.com

Guess they decided to...split.

/Yeeeaaahhhh
 
2013-12-23 11:47:03 PM
nsfw

http://i.imgur.com/BEGnO.png
 
2013-12-23 11:47:22 PM

Gyrfalcon: doglover: Gyrfalcon: if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.

You have no idea how special CA weather is, do ya? You bastards don't even have winter.

Hm, there must be some other reason it was so cold in my office today I couldn't feel my feet.

(motherf*ckers won't fix the heater...I bet it will be repaired just in time for summer)


Probably diabetic circulation problems.


In the coldest month, January, the temperature typically ranges from 59 to 73 °F (15 to 23 °C) during the day and 45 to 55 °F (7 to 13 °C)


I don't know about you, but I like wear T shirts in 13 degree weather if I'm moving and maybe a thin jacket if I have to sit a spell.
 
2013-12-23 11:52:01 PM

Hollie Maea: If you go back to the source (New Guinea) you can find tons of different kinds of bananas. Probably not with much commercial potential unless they can hang out in a semi for a week without going "bad".


You know what I hate? I hate those bananas in the supermarket these days that will ripen and have brown spots all over them, but somehow they are still hard and green. It just ain't natural.
 
2013-12-23 11:54:42 PM

assjuice: Even Minnesota?


If you can keep your greenhouse above 20F in the winter, you can grow banana plants in Minnesota.  To get them to fruit, you'll need a location with full sun and you'll need to keep the minimum temperature above freezing.

I have a friend who lives in St Louis Park and she has a fancy greenhouse with insulated glass and a small heater.  When the days get really cold, she'll throw old quilts and burlap blankets over the greenhouse and switch on her LED grow lights.
 
2013-12-24 12:03:48 AM

NephilimNexus: [survivalfarm.files.wordpress.com image 375x262]

Article mistakenly assumes that Americans actually eat fruit.


Did you know: Those kids aren't actually 'Americans'?
 
2013-12-24 12:06:04 AM
WHO'S THE biatch NOW?!  - Monsanto
 
2013-12-24 12:11:46 AM

I Browse: No more bananas?

[25.media.tumblr.com image 320x240]

Guess they decided to...split.

/Yeeeaaahhhh


You go now!
 
2013-12-24 12:16:54 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Luse: Quantum Apostrophe: Maggie_Luna: Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?

Both I guess. I was as flexible as a Chinese contortionist in high school. No one else offered to suck my dick, so ...

I think I'm beginning to understand you. I couldn't exist in a world where a pretty young thing doesn't ask to have my cock in her mouth. I'll even hold off on my usual 3d printing quips.

Oh yeah? OH YEAH!? Well your MOM was a 3d printer!!!!


Highly useful, adaptable and productive? Hell yeah she is! She made the awesome that is ME! I like you QA. I like you alot. I think we agree about far more than we don't. Despite the appearances.
 
2013-12-24 12:28:53 AM

bbqsandwich: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

Maybe your taste buds just died off?


Afraid he's correct. The world switched varieties when the old one pretty much was killed off by disease. Cultivated bananas do not produce seeds, it's all by cuttings. Very little genetic variety. Bananas with seeds are chock-full-o-seeds, no fun to eat.
 
2013-12-24 12:32:54 AM
img.fark.net
Banana S'more
 
2013-12-24 12:36:50 AM

Torion!: [img.fark.net image 850x479]
Banana S'more


what is that magical concoction?! I demand a recipe
 
2013-12-24 12:42:36 AM

Yogimus: Torion!: [img.fark.net image 850x479]
Banana S'more

what is that magical concoction?! I demand a recipe


I think the picture is the recipe.
 
2013-12-24 12:44:31 AM

lewismarktwo: Yogimus: Torion!: [img.fark.net image 850x479]
Banana S'more

what is that magical concoction?! I demand a recipe

I think the picture is the recipe.


The logistics, man! What of the logistics? It's like getting a box of legos with no instructions! I see the pieces, I see the picture, but the road tween them, she is covered in a fog!
 
2013-12-24 12:46:34 AM

Luse: Highly useful, adaptable and productive?


I wish I could take a peek at your scrip pad. It must be impressive.

Luse: I like you alot.


3.bp.blogspot.com

Luse: I think we agree about far more than we don't.


That no one is going anywhere, ever, and 3D printing is just a shape prototyping tool and not a Star Trek object replicator?

Sweet, and here I thought you were an uncritical gee-wiz fanboi.
 
2013-12-24 12:57:26 AM

2wolves: Mono-cultures are easy to wipe out.


Yup and unfortunately this applies to a quite a few of our crops.
 
2013-12-24 01:03:44 AM
You have given me the greatest christmas present this year.
 
2013-12-24 01:05:46 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Luse: Highly useful, adaptable and productive?

I wish I could take a peek at your scrip pad. It must be impressive.

Luse: I like you alot.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]

Luse: I think we agree about far more than we don't.

That no one is going anywhere, ever, and 3D printing is just a shape prototyping tool and not a Star Trek object replicator?

Anywhere, ever? Come on now, who's being foolish?

Sweet, and here I thought you were an uncritical gee-wiz fanboi.

If nothing else, I'm a cynic. Maybe a dreamer at some point too, but a cynic first and foremost. In a provable timeline, as defined by yours and mine lifetime, you're right. Unless you're omniscient and can see into the future, you'd be a damned fool to predict what cannot be done. Today's Science is yesterday's magic. What makes you believe that the same won't be true tomorrow?
 
2013-12-24 01:08:36 AM
Banana S'more Recipe

Preheat toaster oven to 350
Place banana on foil.
Cut and peel one banana flap, do not remove flap,
Cut V into exposed banana, gently remove banana.
Fill V with marshmallows and chocolate bits
Place previously removed banana on marshmallow and chocolate bits
Place flap back onto banana
Wrap banana with foil
Put foiled banana into toaster oven
Wait 10 mins
Banana S'more Time

/wife makes them, I just eat them
 
2013-12-24 01:09:43 AM

cryinoutloud: Dextro: I guess it's a good thing bananas grow naturally in my back yard.
/Delicious, delicious bananas

What? How YOU--oh wait, you live in Florida. Enjoy your bananas.


Haha, I'm doing well, thank you. Despite the people I share this state with, I am quite fond of my residence AND my bananas. In fact, there is an entire stalk of bananas in my back yard awaiting harvest and I have quite a few already in my freezer.

And, yes, they are awesome!
 
2013-12-24 01:12:24 AM

Yogimus: lewismarktwo: Yogimus: Torion!: [img.fark.net image 850x479]
Banana S'more

what is that magical concoction?! I demand a recipe

I think the picture is the recipe.

The logistics, man! What of the logistics? It's like getting a box of legos with no instructions! I see the pieces, I see the picture, but the road tween them, she is covered in a fog!


kk, cut off peel from top of bananr, pop out nannr cut in haif.  Cram in smoreshtuff then recombobulate and wrap in teh foils.  Threw in fire bout a minutertwo.
 
2013-12-24 01:20:58 AM
This is all just a metaphor for Prince Charles sexuality. I suggest watching Colbert wrap his hand around the issue.

/easily some of Colbert's best work
//only time I've seen those two laughing so hard they break character
 
2013-12-24 01:26:44 AM

Luse: What makes you believe that the same won't be true tomorrow?


Because if you use that as an argument, anything at all is possible. In the future, we'll all use magic and have unicorns as pets. Ridiculous, isn't it? There are broad limits to what makes sense and doesn't, and if you spend your life dreaming about massive breakthroughs in our understanding of physics, chemistry, engineering and reality, what makes you different from someone who call psychic hotlines? Who are you to say psychics won't be reliable tomorrow?
 
2013-12-24 01:30:17 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Luse: What makes you believe that the same won't be true tomorrow?

Because if you use that as an argument, anything at all is possible. In the future, we'll all use magic and have unicorns as pets. Ridiculous, isn't it? There are broad limits to what makes sense and doesn't, and if you spend your life dreaming about massive breakthroughs in our understanding of physics, chemistry, engineering and reality, what makes you different from someone who call psychic hotlines? Who are you to say psychics won't be reliable tomorrow?


Because the psychics of yesterday are no more reliable today. I simply don't pretend to know what people smarter than me will discover tomorrow.
 
2013-12-24 01:32:46 AM

Lee451: Hey Mr. Tally man tally me banana....


Ok.  Two inches.  Next!
 
2013-12-24 01:42:04 AM

Luse: Because the psychics of yesterday are no more reliable today. I simply don't pretend to know what people smarter than me will discover tomorrow.


That just means you'll have faith in anything at all. And if that's not what it means, then you DO know about physics. It's not magic. And the physics of yesterday was plenty fine, we just refined it. The neutron was only discovered in 1932 and except for nuclear reactions, has no bearing at all on any technology we use.

So, is any prediction of the future as valid as any other? You know, since you're not competent enough to know what we will discover tomorrow?

How about a 747 that flies you across the ocean at the speed of light on a drop of kerosene? What would you think of that? Why am I not allowed to think that?

The whole point is that people smarter than you ALREADY LOOKED. This is the world we live in NOW!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to order some plastic trinkets on the Web. It's the productive future I've always dreamed about. Why everyone needs to work so much for such an insecure life I don't know, but we're all very productive. What we produce and for whose benefit I don't know, but only a Luddite would doubt our glorious future!
 
2013-12-24 01:51:15 AM
I see QA has shiat all over this thread and thus brought it to an abrupt end.
 
2013-12-24 01:52:24 AM
Aw ... it looks like I won't getting high off smoking the bananadine extracted from the peels anymore.
 
2013-12-24 02:00:35 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Luse: Because the psychics of yesterday are no more reliable today. I simply don't pretend to know what people smarter than me will discover tomorrow.

That just means you'll have faith in anything at all. And if that's not what it means, then you DO know about physics. It's not magic. And the physics of yesterday was plenty fine, we just refined it. The neutron was only discovered in 1932 and except for nuclear reactions, has no bearing at all on any technology we use.

So, is any prediction of the future as valid as any other? You know, since you're not competent enough to know what we will discover tomorrow?

How about a 747 that flies you across the ocean at the speed of light on a drop of kerosene? What would you think of that? Why am I not allowed to think that?

The whole point is that people smarter than you ALREADY LOOKED. This is the world we live in NOW!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to order some plastic trinkets on the Web. It's the productive future I've always dreamed about. Why everyone needs to work so much for such an insecure life I don't know, but we're all very productive. What we produce and for whose benefit I don't know, but only a Luddite would doubt our glorious future!


Last I checked things like the speed of light were considered an absolute. To pretend you'd break it with a drop of kerosene is ridiculous. Fark, if you're pushing to the ridiculous why kerosene? Why not water? Why not an oxygen atom? Why not a chip of bark? How about a single drop of sweat? Your examples are sadly linear. A quote I heard, and I fail to remember the source is that within science, rarely do the major moments come as a "Eureka" moment. Far more often the amazing breakthroughs are, "Well, that's odd."  Viagra was a heart medication long before it became a boner pill. We're not nearly as clever as we'd like to pretend we are. You make claims of what is impossible. Humans have a history of proving people like you wrong.

The thing is, we could use you, as a species. You're not stupid, you're the opposite. You simply work too hard at trying to prove what can't be done, in spite of yourself. We say, "It may be possible."
You say, "Absolutely no farking way!"
We have proof that a single man defeated nearly a thousand invaders, with a shiatty Russian rifle, using only iron sights. (Simo Haya).
If you watched a movie on it tomorrow you'd call bullshiat, and you'd be wrong.

To answer your question, if you make exceptional claims I expect exceptional proof. I won't, however, pretend to know better than anyone in history. You do.
 
2013-12-24 02:47:45 AM

VOCSL5: I remember when bananas had prominent black seeds in the center - like kiwi-fruit.  I havne't seen any that look like that since I was a kid.... probably around 1990.


It took me a few seconds for me to remember, but now that I think about it.. they did used to have seeds, and they seemed to have a slightly different flavor to them.
 
2013-12-24 02:53:13 AM

calbert: No. he had it right the first time. God's perfect fruit. a correction isn't warranted.

2.bp.blogspot.com


Is that a glacial moraine behind those fartards?

KarmicDisaster: Not that they saved any wild types to cross them with anyway oops. And this time there is no real substitute that looks or tastes anything like a banana.


I think Banana's are like Cherries, there are a metric assload of different types, but unlike Cherries the ones we've come to prefer are all cuttings off a wild found seedless mutant.

Scary to me is I remember reading that unlike the US where Banana's are mostly a treat in some parts of the world they are a critical part of the food supply. I've heard the same said of mango's.
 
2013-12-24 02:58:12 AM
lparchive.org
 
2013-12-24 03:41:35 AM

doglover: Gyrfalcon: doglover: Gyrfalcon: if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.

You have no idea how special CA weather is, do ya? You bastards don't even have winter.

Hm, there must be some other reason it was so cold in my office today I couldn't feel my feet.

(motherf*ckers won't fix the heater...I bet it will be repaired just in time for summer)

Probably diabetic circulation problems.


In the coldest month, January, the temperature typically ranges from 59 to 73 °F (15 to 23 °C) during the day and 45 to 55 °F (7 to 13 °C)

I don't know about you, but I like wear T shirts in 13 degree weather if I'm moving and maybe a thin jacket if I have to sit a spell.


Pics or it isn't happening.

And I do have poor foot circulation; from too many broken toes doing karate, not metabolic issues, thank you very much. But we're having a cold snap right now, and besides heating issues, the office building is not well insulated. It's been colder inside than outside lately, which is really sucky.
 
2013-12-24 05:28:26 AM
I used to make a living, picking the banana...

\now I'm a guide for the CIA
\\horray for the USA
 
2013-12-24 06:17:33 AM

Torion!: Banana S'more Recipe

Preheat toaster oven to 350
Place banana on foil.
Cut and peel one banana flap, do not remove flap,
Cut V into exposed banana, gently remove banana.
Fill V with marshmallows and chocolate bits
Place previously removed banana on marshmallow and chocolate bits
Place flap back onto banana
Wrap banana with foil
Put foiled banana into toaster oven
Wait 10 mins
Banana S'more Time

/wife makes them, I just eat them


Thank you good sir for the recipe.  I'm going to make some Banana S'mores for my party tonight.   It  will be a nice addition to,  and  something completely different  from what I usually serve.  I'm sure the  kids will love them.  I may try adding some kind of liqueur to them   for us bigger kids.
 
2013-12-24 07:37:15 AM

bbqsandwich: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

Maybe your taste buds just died off?


You know how things that are banana flavored like popsicles and candy and what not taste absolutely nothing like a banana?  (and are sickly sweet and horrible tasting in my opinion)

Well, they don't taste like bananas because the flavoring is based on the last species of banana that we used to use which became impossible to use for large scale farming in most of the world due to a fungus.  Basically, if you're any of the places the US or Europe gets its bananas from, and you try to grow that species there, you will have large scale losses from this disease.  So, we switched.  The previous one was the Gros Michel, and the new one is the Cavendish.  Still can get the Gros Michel in east Asia apparently.
 
2013-12-24 07:48:22 AM

Jamieboy: Torion!: Banana S'more Recipe

Preheat toaster oven to 350
Place banana on foil.
Cut and peel one banana flap, do not remove flap,
Cut V into exposed banana, gently remove banana.
Fill V with marshmallows and chocolate bits
Place previously removed banana on marshmallow and chocolate bits
Place flap back onto banana
Wrap banana with foil
Put foiled banana into toaster oven
Wait 10 mins
Banana S'more Time

/wife makes them, I just eat them

Thank you good sir for the recipe.  I'm going to make some Banana S'mores for my party tonight.   It  will be a nice addition to,  and  something completely different  from what I usually serve.  I'm sure the  kids will love them.  I may try adding some kind of liqueur to them   for us bigger kids.


If you like sweet liquor, you could try 99 bananas with it...It tastes like banana candy.
 
2013-12-24 08:22:13 AM

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


I wouldn't know. I've never had a banana.
 
2013-12-24 08:46:08 AM
A fungus among us and it's come for the bananas.
 
2013-12-24 09:21:20 AM

Snarfangel: Gene-engineering will fix the fungus problem, and you won't have to buy a bunch at a time.
[www.seriouseats.com image 610x458]


She's awfully ambitious, isn't she? She might want to start a little smaller.

/maybe with your average Farker?
 
2013-12-24 09:37:48 AM
www.riomate.com
 
2013-12-24 10:34:22 AM
 
2013-12-24 10:39:59 AM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-24 11:32:13 AM
dairycarrie.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-24 11:38:05 AM

Begoggle: I see QA has shiat all over this thread and thus brought it to an abrupt end.


ignore the user, then ignore posts responding and quoting the user. The only reason I knew their was threadshiatting afoot is because you used it's initials.
 
2013-12-24 12:07:33 PM

JasonOfOrillia: These fungus stories have been floating around for years.  I guess it is a disaster just in really slow motion.


Yep . Old news . Bananas were already supposed to be extinct by now .
 
2013-12-24 02:06:35 PM

invictus2: Have a bannana


I was hoping it would be Osbie's Banana Song.

/It's harder than you'd think to find Pynchon songs.
 
2013-12-24 02:07:04 PM
The Banana Pandemic is my new fake band name
 
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