Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(io9)   Suddenly, no more bananas   (io9.com) divider line 158
    More: Scary, Mozambique, blight, bananas, fungus  
•       •       •

18056 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2013 at 8:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



158 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-12-23 09:15:04 PM  

calbert: on the case:

[pics.imcdb.org image 353x238]


God, I'm old.
 
2013-12-23 09:16:06 PM  

Luse: Quantum Apostrophe: Maggie_Luna: Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?

Both I guess. I was as flexible as a Chinese contortionist in high school. No one else offered to suck my dick, so ...

I think I'm beginning to understand you. I couldn't exist in a world where a pretty young thing doesn't ask to have my cock in her mouth. I'll even hold off on my usual 3d printing quips.


Oh yeah? OH YEAH!? Well your MOM was a 3d printer!!!!
 
2013-12-23 09:17:11 PM  

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


You're probably doing one of those two things wrong.

Cheers
 
2013-12-23 09:17:55 PM  
[notthisthreadagain.jpg]
 
2013-12-23 09:21:39 PM  

STOP IT WITH THE MONOCULTURE ALREADY!



Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.

Now, they went all monoculture again and lo and behold growing the same damn thing all the same damn time leaves you vulnerable to disease. This is why British accents are hot and you don't know why. Your body craves new and varied DNA for your offspring so they'll be the most resilient. We need a variety of banana species on each farm so no one fungus can wipe them out. Plus, maybe they'll interbreed and the seedlings will develop a fungal immunity.
 
2013-12-23 09:24:34 PM  

This About That: uber humper: This About That: Never happen. God's perfect fruit.

And my God you mean Man's perfect fruit -- that has been modified to the nth through hybridization

Behold.


that heathen opens bananas from the wrong end.
 
2013-12-23 09:26:19 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-23 09:28:53 PM  
www.firetheimagination.ca
 
2013-12-23 09:29:35 PM  
I guess it's a good thing bananas grow naturally in my back yard.

/Delicious, delicious bananas
 
2013-12-23 09:31:51 PM  
On the upshot, Mario Kart will have fewer annoyances to deal with.
 
2013-12-23 09:32:13 PM  
Hey mister tally man, tally me banana.
 
2013-12-23 09:32:42 PM  
static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.netstatic3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-12-23 09:32:47 PM  
Aside from the fact that this has happened before, as was mentioned upthread, the current inferior tasting bananas are reproduced by cuttings and grafting; they are all genetically identical and don't even form seeds. So they can't be crossed with anything to try to breed in resistance. Not that they saved any wild types to cross them with anyway oops. And this time there is no real substitute that looks or tastes anything like a banana.
 
2013-12-23 09:47:45 PM  
This is another example of how food webs can collapse under strained environmental conditions.

No, this is an example of how man's overreliance on a single food crop can lead to economic disaster. One genetic mutation = one cheap and convenient banana = one type of banana being grown world wide = one global food source wiped out when that mutation becomes vulnerable to a disease or fungus that would not harm a more variable species.

See also the Irish Potato Famine. A few years before the Famine, Ireland had gone from farming a wide variety of potatoes to one breed which grew faster and was resistant to spoilage and the cold weather that lingered over Ireland at the tag-end of the Little Ice Age. Things warmed up in the 1840's creating great conditions for P. infestans, a fungus which spreads rapidly in warm, damp winds. With only one type of potato in the fields, there was no chance for any natural resistance, et viola! an entire nation basically starved to death (assisted by the British government).

So no, this isn't a "food web" collapse. There isn't a web. There's just one thread, and when it breaks, there's nothing else around to hold up the other end.
 
2013-12-23 09:51:10 PM  

KarmicDisaster: Aside from the fact that this has happened before, as was mentioned upthread, the current inferior tasting bananas are reproduced by cuttings and grafting; they are all genetically identical and don't even form seeds. So they can't be crossed with anything to try to breed in resistance. Not that they saved any wild types to cross them with anyway oops. And this time there is no real substitute that looks or tastes anything like a banana.


Taste great....
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-23 09:52:18 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: Oh no, where else will I find an expensive fruit that goes bad two days after I buy it?


Bananas aren't expensive. Plus they're one of the few fruits or vegetables that don't feel like you're chewing on water. Also I can keep them almost a week at room temperature (depending how fresh or green they were on purchase day) I have trouble keeping berries fresh 4 days with refrigeration. Blueberries fare better than strawberries or raspberries, I found.
 
2013-12-23 10:00:04 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: Maggie_Luna: Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?

Both I guess. I was as flexible as a Chinese contortionist in high school. No one else offered to suck my dick, so ...


one of life's ironies is that as we get older, we get stiffer, but our wangs get softer
 
2013-12-23 10:01:16 PM  

majestic: KarmicDisaster: Aside from the fact that this has happened before, as was mentioned upthread, the current inferior tasting bananas are reproduced by cuttings and grafting; they are all genetically identical and don't even form seeds. So they can't be crossed with anything to try to breed in resistance. Not that they saved any wild types to cross them with anyway oops. And this time there is no real substitute that looks or tastes anything like a banana.

Taste great....


Less filling
 
2013-12-23 10:03:03 PM  

Metaluna Mutant: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

Came for this.

/RIP Gros Michel


www.sitcomsonline.com
 
2013-12-23 10:03:42 PM  
And so it begins...

chamberfour.com
 
2013-12-23 10:04:02 PM  

doglover: Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.


Many of the older cultivars are still around.  They never went extinct.  You just can't grow them in areas that are prone to disease (read: major banana producing areas).  If you have a large greenhouse or live in the sunbelt, you can grow them yourself.
 
2013-12-23 10:04:36 PM  

s1ugg0: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

This

/I remember

I am horribly jealous of both of you.

/Born in 1982


Best bananas I ever had I bought at a roadside stand in Hawaii in 1998.  Never been able to come close to them since no matter how many fair trade organic hippie groceries I go to back in Hicksville, USA.
 
2013-12-23 10:09:04 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

This

/I remember


should we get off your lawns?
 
2013-12-23 10:11:33 PM  

Eps05: The Dog Ate My Homework: Oh no, where else will I find an expensive fruit that goes bad two days after I buy it?

Bananas aren't expensive. Plus they're one of the few fruits or vegetables that don't feel like you're chewing on water. Also I can keep them almost a week at room temperature (depending how fresh or green they were on purchase day) I have trouble keeping berries fresh 4 days with refrigeration. Blueberries fare better than strawberries or raspberries, I found.


Maybe he/she lives in Japan, where I understand all fruit is expensive.

I personally never buy bananas because like milk they'll go bad before I use them all (even one) because I do not like them. I may like them in things but not the taste outright.
 
2013-12-23 10:11:42 PM  

Dinjiin: doglover: Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.

Many of the older cultivars are still around.  They never went extinct.  You just can't grow them in areas that are prone to disease (read: major banana producing areas).  If you have a large greenhouse or live in the sunbelt, you can grow them yourself.


My boss has some growing in his backyard somehow. They taste great, and are firmer and better textured than a store banana, besides lasting a lot longer. (Shut up, pervert) It wouldn't be hard to recreate them, and if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.
 
2013-12-23 10:12:18 PM  

Bucky Katt: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

This

/I remember

should we get off your lawns?


Naw

/they're genetically modified to withstand kids now
 
2013-12-23 10:14:01 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

This

/I remember


I thought there was something weird about bananas when I started eating them again.  Had them as a kid, and then of course spurned all fruit and vegetables from teen years until about 35.

Was like "I don't remember them tasting like wax"
 
2013-12-23 10:14:32 PM  
info.ncagr.com
 
2013-12-23 10:15:24 PM  

doglover: STOP IT WITH THE MONOCULTURE ALREADY!

Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.

Now, they went all monoculture again and lo and behold growing the same damn thing all the same damn time leaves you vulnerable to disease. This is why British accents are hot and you don't know why. Your body craves new and varied DNA for your offspring so they'll be the most resilient. We need a variety of banana species on each farm so no one fungus can wipe them out. Plus, maybe they'll interbreed and the seedlings will develop a fungal immunity.


s24.postimg.org

That explains it.
 
2013-12-23 10:17:37 PM  
I am deathly allergic to bananas, so I'm not too concerned.
 
2013-12-23 10:19:58 PM  

Omahawg: guess'n we'll all just have to eat american bananas then

[www.zingermanscreamery.com image 850x597]


Yum

(holy moley those flowers smell like poo)
 
2013-12-23 10:21:15 PM  

Omahawg: guess'n we'll all just have to eat american bananas then

[www.zingermanscreamery.com image 850x597]


YUM

(holey moley those flowers smell like poo)
 
2013-12-23 10:23:19 PM  

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


img.fark.net
 
2013-12-23 10:25:07 PM  

Maggie_Luna: Quantum Apostrophe: skinink: roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting

Since I never sucked a cock before, I'll take your word on that.

I did. Once. But I was much more flexible in high school.

Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?


Being able to suck your own cawk would be like dividing by zero, I mean everything you do in this world withwork and hobbies and stuff is little more than an elaborate rouse to get someone else to suck your cawk for you.
 
2013-12-23 10:26:24 PM  

Gyrfalcon: if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.


You have no idea how special CA weather is, do ya? You bastards don't even have winter.
 
2013-12-23 10:29:03 PM  
There won't be any more :(

wherebeautyisfound.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-23 10:32:45 PM  

Lee451: Hey Mr. Tally man tally me banana....


...aaaaaaand...zero.  So, we're done here.

/don't wait for daylight, go home if you wanna
 
2013-12-23 10:35:52 PM  
SAVE THE BANANAS!!!
 
2013-12-23 10:39:08 PM  
Yes, we have no bananas. : (
 
2013-12-23 10:41:49 PM  
So, it's just Consuela Hammock now?
www.joesbananahammock.com
/obscure?
 
2013-12-23 10:41:51 PM  
Gros Michel isn't extinct, it is still grown around the world but in smaller quantities so it's no longer commercially viable.
 
2013-12-23 10:43:14 PM  
survivalfarm.files.wordpress.com

Article mistakenly assumes that Americans actually eat fruit.
 
2013-12-23 10:55:11 PM  

Dextro: I guess it's a good thing bananas grow naturally in my back yard.
/Delicious, delicious bananas


What? How YOU--oh wait, you live in Florida. Enjoy your bananas.
 
2013-12-23 10:55:54 PM  

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


I dunno, I'm kind of tempted to suck on a fat one now that I know they taste like bananas. I like bananas. A mouthful of banana-cock can't be all bad right?
 
2013-12-23 11:12:37 PM  

Dinjiin: doglover: Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.

Many of the older cultivars are still around.  They never went extinct.  You just can't grow them in areas that are prone to disease (read: major banana producing areas).  If you have a large greenhouse or live in the sunbelt, you can grow them yourself.


If you go back to the source (New Guinea) you can find tons of different kinds of bananas. Probably not with much commercial potential unless they can hang out in a semi for a week without going "bad".
 
2013-12-23 11:15:23 PM  

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


Try with a little peanut butter, the Elvis way.

assets.nydailynews.com
 
2013-12-23 11:18:28 PM  

Oldiron_79: Maggie_Luna: Quantum Apostrophe: skinink: roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting

Since I never sucked a cock before, I'll take your word on that.

I did. Once. But I was much more flexible in high school.

Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?

Being able to suck your own cawk would be like dividing by zero, I mean everything you do in this world withwork and hobbies and stuff is little more than an elaborate rouse to get someone else to suck your cawk for you.


Sucking your own cock is terrible feeling. Your brain doesn't recognize the feeling of a mouth on your dick, it registers the feeling of a dick in your mouth.
 
2013-12-23 11:18:36 PM  

ReverendJynxed: I like bananas. A mouthful of banana-cock can't be all bad right?


i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-23 11:20:39 PM  

NephilimNexus: [survivalfarm.files.wordpress.com image 375x262]

Article mistakenly assumes that Americans actually eat fruit.


That kid is Russian.
 
2013-12-23 11:24:34 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Dinjiin: doglover: Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.

Many of the older cultivars are still around.  They never went extinct.  You just can't grow them in areas that are prone to disease (read: major banana producing areas).  If you have a large greenhouse or live in the sunbelt, you can grow them yourself.

My boss has some growing in his backyard somehow. They taste great, and are firmer and better textured than a store banana, besides lasting a lot longer. (Shut up, pervert) It wouldn't be hard to recreate them, and if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.


Even Minnesota?
 
Displayed 50 of 158 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report