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(io9)   Suddenly, no more bananas   (io9.com) divider line 158
    More: Scary, Mozambique, blight, bananas, fungus  
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18040 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2013 at 8:25 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



158 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-23 07:06:53 PM
He was a young driver,
just out on his second job.
And he was carrying the next day's pasty fruits
for everyone in that coal-scarred city
where children play without despair
in backyard slag-piles and folks manage to eat each day
about thirty thousand pounds of bananas.
 
2013-12-23 07:25:16 PM
These fungus stories have been floating around for years.  I guess it is a disaster just in really slow motion.
 
2013-12-23 07:30:03 PM
Mono-cultures are easy to wipe out.
 
2013-12-23 07:33:27 PM
Madagascar has already shut down everything.
 
2013-12-23 07:34:51 PM
We have no bananas today...
 
2013-12-23 07:49:00 PM
images.starpulse.com
 
2013-12-23 07:54:32 PM
Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.
 
2013-12-23 08:08:39 PM

Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.


This

/I remember
 
2013-12-23 08:24:47 PM
Never happen. God's perfect fruit.
 
2013-12-23 08:29:07 PM
Tonight.

You.
 
2013-12-23 08:30:46 PM

This About That: Never happen. God's perfect fruit.


And my God you mean Man's perfect fruit -- that has been modified to the nth through hybridization
 
2013-12-23 08:31:21 PM

Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.


Maybe your taste buds just died off?
 
2013-12-23 08:31:35 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

This

/I remember


I am horribly jealous of both of you.

/Born in 1982
 
2013-12-23 08:33:50 PM
banana pendemic

try saying that 5 times fast.
 
2013-12-23 08:33:58 PM
saidinsilence.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-23 08:37:50 PM
Happened before with the Gros Micheal strain. That's where the old song "Yes, we have no bananas" comes from.
 
2013-12-23 08:37:55 PM

uber humper: This About That: Never happen. God's perfect fruit.

And my God you mean Man's perfect fruit -- that has been modified to the nth through hybridization


No. he had it right the first time. God's perfect fruit. a correction isn't warranted.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-23 08:40:41 PM
Won't get rid of bananas, but they will have to change varieties. All the bananas you ever see in the United States are genetically identical--but they are different from what we used to have (ask your parents). That one was wiped out, and it's been clear that the new one would also get wiped out. Whatever they replace it with will certainly not taste as good, but it will probably ship better.
 
2013-12-23 08:40:43 PM

calbert: uber humper: This About That: Never happen. God's perfect fruit.

And my God you mean Man's perfect fruit -- that has been modified to the nth through hybridization

No. he had it right the first time. God's perfect fruit. a correction isn't warranted.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 478x344]


I thought Liberace was God's perfect fruit
 
2013-12-23 08:41:55 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

This

/I remember



Those were the Gros Michel (Big Mike) variety. After they died back, the large producers started breeding the Cavendish variety. That's what we have now. If there is a blight, they will just start producing the next variety.

There are dozens of different varieties of bananas. To quote BSG: This has all happened before. It will happen again.
 
2013-12-23 08:42:30 PM

Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.


Came for this.

/RIP Gros Michel
 
2013-12-23 08:43:54 PM

calbert: uber humper: This About That: Never happen. God's perfect fruit.

And my God you mean Man's perfect fruit -- that has been modified to the nth through hybridization

No. he had it right the first time. God's perfect fruit. a correction isn't warranted.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 478x344]


Gotcha, now.  Found it
 
2013-12-23 08:44:28 PM
eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting
 
2013-12-23 08:45:18 PM

Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.


About the same time as Coca-Cola.
 
2013-12-23 08:45:58 PM

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


Since I never sucked a cock before, I'll take your word on that.
 
2013-12-23 08:46:32 PM

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


You must be an authority on sucking cock. Thanks for your input.
 
2013-12-23 08:46:55 PM
That article was a bit short on details.  This BBC documentary excerpt (SFW, obviously; 2:18 long) does a better job explaining things.
 
2013-12-23 08:48:41 PM

bbqsandwich: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

Maybe your taste buds just died off?


DAY-O!
 
2013-12-23 08:48:48 PM
Banana shortage?

Tailpipes everywhere, breathe a sigh of relief.
 
2013-12-23 08:51:33 PM
on the case:

pics.imcdb.org
 
2013-12-23 08:51:40 PM

skinink: roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting

Since I never sucked a cock before, I'll take your word on that.


I did. Once. But I was much more flexible in high school.
 
2013-12-23 08:52:01 PM
Now I work for the CIA, GOD BLESS THE USA!

/obscure?
 
2013-12-23 08:53:21 PM
I remember when bananas had prominent black seeds in the center - like kiwi-fruit.  I havne't seen any that look like that since I was a kid.... probably around 1990.
 
2013-12-23 08:53:35 PM
Gene-engineering will fix the fungus problem, and you won't have to buy a bunch at a time.
www.seriouseats.com
 
2013-12-23 08:53:45 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: skinink: roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting

Since I never sucked a cock before, I'll take your word on that.

I did. Once. But I was much more flexible in high school.


Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?
 
2013-12-23 08:56:24 PM
How many times have we heard that bananas are going extinct? It's not going to happen. Stop trying to make this into a thing.
 
2013-12-23 08:56:33 PM

uber humper: This About That: Never happen. God's perfect fruit.

And my God you mean Man's perfect fruit -- that has been modified to the nth through hybridization


Behold.
 
2013-12-23 08:57:15 PM
Hey Mr. Tally man tally me banana....
 
2013-12-23 08:58:22 PM

VOCSL5: I remember when bananas had prominent black seeds in the center - like kiwi-fruit.  I havne't seen any that look like that since I was a kid.... probably around 1990.


That's right... a banana slice used to look like a cat's asshole.
 
2013-12-23 08:58:39 PM

Snarfangel: Gene-engineering will fix the fungus problem, and you won't have to buy a bunch at a time.
[www.seriouseats.com image 610x458]


My line of thoughts: I can't eat a gourd that big. I hate gourds. Why would you want a gourd that size? Exterminating the fungus seems easier through genetic engineering. People don't want to eat GMF but if we GM some anti-fungal predator to eat that and not be able to breed (and pass on freak babies)? I think more people are down with that.
 
2013-12-23 08:59:34 PM

Snarfangel: Gene-engineering will fix the fungus problem, and you won't have to buy a bunch at a time.


O_O
 
2013-12-23 08:59:56 PM
I cannot imagine a world without a good homemade banana nut bread, it would be too sad a place to envision. SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!
 
2013-12-23 09:00:38 PM
guess'n we'll all just have to eat american bananas then

www.zingermanscreamery.com
 
2013-12-23 09:00:43 PM
 
2013-12-23 09:04:53 PM
Oh no, where else will I find an expensive fruit that goes bad two days after I buy it?
 
2013-12-23 09:05:29 PM

The Dog Ate My Homework: Oh no, where else will I find an expensive fruit that goes bad two days after I buy it?



There will always be pears.
 
2013-12-23 09:07:04 PM

Maggie_Luna: Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?


Both I guess. I was as flexible as a Chinese contortionist in high school. No one else offered to suck my dick, so ...
 
2013-12-23 09:10:06 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Maggie_Luna: Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?

Both I guess. I was as flexible as a Chinese contortionist in high school. No one else offered to suck my dick, so ...


I think I'm beginning to understand you. I couldn't exist in a world where a pretty young thing doesn't ask to have my cock in her mouth. I'll even hold off on my usual 3d printing quips.
 
2013-12-23 09:10:36 PM
Sometime in the future....

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-23 09:13:19 PM
calbert:No. he had it right the first time. God's perfect fruit. a correction isn't warranted.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 478x344]


I decided to hit google for that very picture, and found some interesting things about Kirk and his partner there. In 2010, they sent out cards to elderly people, which stated the date and time the recipient was going to die and urged them to see an evangelist so they don't go to hell.

Stay classy, christians.
 
2013-12-23 09:15:04 PM

calbert: on the case:

[pics.imcdb.org image 353x238]


God, I'm old.
 
2013-12-23 09:16:06 PM

Luse: Quantum Apostrophe: Maggie_Luna: Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?

Both I guess. I was as flexible as a Chinese contortionist in high school. No one else offered to suck my dick, so ...

I think I'm beginning to understand you. I couldn't exist in a world where a pretty young thing doesn't ask to have my cock in her mouth. I'll even hold off on my usual 3d printing quips.


Oh yeah? OH YEAH!? Well your MOM was a 3d printer!!!!
 
2013-12-23 09:17:11 PM

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


You're probably doing one of those two things wrong.

Cheers
 
2013-12-23 09:17:55 PM
[notthisthreadagain.jpg]
 
2013-12-23 09:21:39 PM

STOP IT WITH THE MONOCULTURE ALREADY!



Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.

Now, they went all monoculture again and lo and behold growing the same damn thing all the same damn time leaves you vulnerable to disease. This is why British accents are hot and you don't know why. Your body craves new and varied DNA for your offspring so they'll be the most resilient. We need a variety of banana species on each farm so no one fungus can wipe them out. Plus, maybe they'll interbreed and the seedlings will develop a fungal immunity.
 
2013-12-23 09:24:34 PM

This About That: uber humper: This About That: Never happen. God's perfect fruit.

And my God you mean Man's perfect fruit -- that has been modified to the nth through hybridization

Behold.


that heathen opens bananas from the wrong end.
 
2013-12-23 09:26:19 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-23 09:28:53 PM
www.firetheimagination.ca
 
2013-12-23 09:29:35 PM
I guess it's a good thing bananas grow naturally in my back yard.

/Delicious, delicious bananas
 
2013-12-23 09:31:51 PM
On the upshot, Mario Kart will have fewer annoyances to deal with.
 
2013-12-23 09:32:13 PM
Hey mister tally man, tally me banana.
 
2013-12-23 09:32:42 PM
static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.netstatic3.wikia.nocookie.net static3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-12-23 09:32:47 PM
Aside from the fact that this has happened before, as was mentioned upthread, the current inferior tasting bananas are reproduced by cuttings and grafting; they are all genetically identical and don't even form seeds. So they can't be crossed with anything to try to breed in resistance. Not that they saved any wild types to cross them with anyway oops. And this time there is no real substitute that looks or tastes anything like a banana.
 
2013-12-23 09:47:45 PM
This is another example of how food webs can collapse under strained environmental conditions.

No, this is an example of how man's overreliance on a single food crop can lead to economic disaster. One genetic mutation = one cheap and convenient banana = one type of banana being grown world wide = one global food source wiped out when that mutation becomes vulnerable to a disease or fungus that would not harm a more variable species.

See also the Irish Potato Famine. A few years before the Famine, Ireland had gone from farming a wide variety of potatoes to one breed which grew faster and was resistant to spoilage and the cold weather that lingered over Ireland at the tag-end of the Little Ice Age. Things warmed up in the 1840's creating great conditions for P. infestans, a fungus which spreads rapidly in warm, damp winds. With only one type of potato in the fields, there was no chance for any natural resistance, et viola! an entire nation basically starved to death (assisted by the British government).

So no, this isn't a "food web" collapse. There isn't a web. There's just one thread, and when it breaks, there's nothing else around to hold up the other end.
 
2013-12-23 09:51:10 PM

KarmicDisaster: Aside from the fact that this has happened before, as was mentioned upthread, the current inferior tasting bananas are reproduced by cuttings and grafting; they are all genetically identical and don't even form seeds. So they can't be crossed with anything to try to breed in resistance. Not that they saved any wild types to cross them with anyway oops. And this time there is no real substitute that looks or tastes anything like a banana.


Taste great....
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-23 09:52:18 PM

The Dog Ate My Homework: Oh no, where else will I find an expensive fruit that goes bad two days after I buy it?


Bananas aren't expensive. Plus they're one of the few fruits or vegetables that don't feel like you're chewing on water. Also I can keep them almost a week at room temperature (depending how fresh or green they were on purchase day) I have trouble keeping berries fresh 4 days with refrigeration. Blueberries fare better than strawberries or raspberries, I found.
 
2013-12-23 10:00:04 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Maggie_Luna: Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?

Both I guess. I was as flexible as a Chinese contortionist in high school. No one else offered to suck my dick, so ...


one of life's ironies is that as we get older, we get stiffer, but our wangs get softer
 
2013-12-23 10:01:16 PM

majestic: KarmicDisaster: Aside from the fact that this has happened before, as was mentioned upthread, the current inferior tasting bananas are reproduced by cuttings and grafting; they are all genetically identical and don't even form seeds. So they can't be crossed with anything to try to breed in resistance. Not that they saved any wild types to cross them with anyway oops. And this time there is no real substitute that looks or tastes anything like a banana.

Taste great....


Less filling
 
2013-12-23 10:03:03 PM

Metaluna Mutant: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

Came for this.

/RIP Gros Michel


www.sitcomsonline.com
 
2013-12-23 10:03:42 PM
And so it begins...

chamberfour.com
 
2013-12-23 10:04:02 PM

doglover: Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.


Many of the older cultivars are still around.  They never went extinct.  You just can't grow them in areas that are prone to disease (read: major banana producing areas).  If you have a large greenhouse or live in the sunbelt, you can grow them yourself.
 
2013-12-23 10:04:36 PM

s1ugg0: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

This

/I remember

I am horribly jealous of both of you.

/Born in 1982


Best bananas I ever had I bought at a roadside stand in Hawaii in 1998.  Never been able to come close to them since no matter how many fair trade organic hippie groceries I go to back in Hicksville, USA.
 
2013-12-23 10:09:04 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

This

/I remember


should we get off your lawns?
 
2013-12-23 10:11:33 PM

Eps05: The Dog Ate My Homework: Oh no, where else will I find an expensive fruit that goes bad two days after I buy it?

Bananas aren't expensive. Plus they're one of the few fruits or vegetables that don't feel like you're chewing on water. Also I can keep them almost a week at room temperature (depending how fresh or green they were on purchase day) I have trouble keeping berries fresh 4 days with refrigeration. Blueberries fare better than strawberries or raspberries, I found.


Maybe he/she lives in Japan, where I understand all fruit is expensive.

I personally never buy bananas because like milk they'll go bad before I use them all (even one) because I do not like them. I may like them in things but not the taste outright.
 
2013-12-23 10:11:42 PM

Dinjiin: doglover: Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.

Many of the older cultivars are still around.  They never went extinct.  You just can't grow them in areas that are prone to disease (read: major banana producing areas).  If you have a large greenhouse or live in the sunbelt, you can grow them yourself.


My boss has some growing in his backyard somehow. They taste great, and are firmer and better textured than a store banana, besides lasting a lot longer. (Shut up, pervert) It wouldn't be hard to recreate them, and if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.
 
2013-12-23 10:12:18 PM

Bucky Katt: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

This

/I remember

should we get off your lawns?


Naw

/they're genetically modified to withstand kids now
 
2013-12-23 10:14:01 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

This

/I remember


I thought there was something weird about bananas when I started eating them again.  Had them as a kid, and then of course spurned all fruit and vegetables from teen years until about 35.

Was like "I don't remember them tasting like wax"
 
2013-12-23 10:14:32 PM
info.ncagr.com
 
2013-12-23 10:15:24 PM

doglover: STOP IT WITH THE MONOCULTURE ALREADY!

Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.

Now, they went all monoculture again and lo and behold growing the same damn thing all the same damn time leaves you vulnerable to disease. This is why British accents are hot and you don't know why. Your body craves new and varied DNA for your offspring so they'll be the most resilient. We need a variety of banana species on each farm so no one fungus can wipe them out. Plus, maybe they'll interbreed and the seedlings will develop a fungal immunity.


s24.postimg.org

That explains it.
 
2013-12-23 10:17:37 PM
I am deathly allergic to bananas, so I'm not too concerned.
 
2013-12-23 10:19:58 PM

Omahawg: guess'n we'll all just have to eat american bananas then

[www.zingermanscreamery.com image 850x597]


Yum

(holy moley those flowers smell like poo)
 
2013-12-23 10:21:15 PM

Omahawg: guess'n we'll all just have to eat american bananas then

[www.zingermanscreamery.com image 850x597]


YUM

(holey moley those flowers smell like poo)
 
2013-12-23 10:23:19 PM

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


img.fark.net
 
2013-12-23 10:25:07 PM

Maggie_Luna: Quantum Apostrophe: skinink: roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting

Since I never sucked a cock before, I'll take your word on that.

I did. Once. But I was much more flexible in high school.

Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?


Being able to suck your own cawk would be like dividing by zero, I mean everything you do in this world withwork and hobbies and stuff is little more than an elaborate rouse to get someone else to suck your cawk for you.
 
2013-12-23 10:26:24 PM

Gyrfalcon: if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.


You have no idea how special CA weather is, do ya? You bastards don't even have winter.
 
2013-12-23 10:29:03 PM
There won't be any more :(

wherebeautyisfound.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-23 10:32:45 PM

Lee451: Hey Mr. Tally man tally me banana....


...aaaaaaand...zero.  So, we're done here.

/don't wait for daylight, go home if you wanna
 
2013-12-23 10:35:52 PM
SAVE THE BANANAS!!!
 
2013-12-23 10:39:08 PM
Yes, we have no bananas. : (
 
2013-12-23 10:41:49 PM
So, it's just Consuela Hammock now?
www.joesbananahammock.com
/obscure?
 
2013-12-23 10:41:51 PM
Gros Michel isn't extinct, it is still grown around the world but in smaller quantities so it's no longer commercially viable.
 
2013-12-23 10:43:14 PM
survivalfarm.files.wordpress.com

Article mistakenly assumes that Americans actually eat fruit.
 
2013-12-23 10:55:11 PM

Dextro: I guess it's a good thing bananas grow naturally in my back yard.
/Delicious, delicious bananas


What? How YOU--oh wait, you live in Florida. Enjoy your bananas.
 
2013-12-23 10:55:54 PM

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


I dunno, I'm kind of tempted to suck on a fat one now that I know they taste like bananas. I like bananas. A mouthful of banana-cock can't be all bad right?
 
2013-12-23 11:12:37 PM

Dinjiin: doglover: Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.

Many of the older cultivars are still around.  They never went extinct.  You just can't grow them in areas that are prone to disease (read: major banana producing areas).  If you have a large greenhouse or live in the sunbelt, you can grow them yourself.


If you go back to the source (New Guinea) you can find tons of different kinds of bananas. Probably not with much commercial potential unless they can hang out in a semi for a week without going "bad".
 
2013-12-23 11:15:23 PM

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


Try with a little peanut butter, the Elvis way.

assets.nydailynews.com
 
2013-12-23 11:18:28 PM

Oldiron_79: Maggie_Luna: Quantum Apostrophe: skinink: roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting

Since I never sucked a cock before, I'll take your word on that.

I did. Once. But I was much more flexible in high school.

Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?

Being able to suck your own cawk would be like dividing by zero, I mean everything you do in this world withwork and hobbies and stuff is little more than an elaborate rouse to get someone else to suck your cawk for you.


Sucking your own cock is terrible feeling. Your brain doesn't recognize the feeling of a mouth on your dick, it registers the feeling of a dick in your mouth.
 
2013-12-23 11:18:36 PM

ReverendJynxed: I like bananas. A mouthful of banana-cock can't be all bad right?


i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-23 11:20:39 PM

NephilimNexus: [survivalfarm.files.wordpress.com image 375x262]

Article mistakenly assumes that Americans actually eat fruit.


That kid is Russian.
 
2013-12-23 11:24:34 PM

Gyrfalcon: Dinjiin: doglover: Those morons already killed the "golden" banana. Y'know the one that was actually good to eat? Yeah, it died. Then we got the modern "banana" which is really just a soft plantain and tastes it.

Many of the older cultivars are still around.  They never went extinct.  You just can't grow them in areas that are prone to disease (read: major banana producing areas).  If you have a large greenhouse or live in the sunbelt, you can grow them yourself.

My boss has some growing in his backyard somehow. They taste great, and are firmer and better textured than a store banana, besides lasting a lot longer. (Shut up, pervert) It wouldn't be hard to recreate them, and if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.


Even Minnesota?
 
2013-12-23 11:31:44 PM

doglover: Gyrfalcon: if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.

You have no idea how special CA weather is, do ya? You bastards don't even have winter.


Hm, there must be some other reason it was so cold in my office today I couldn't feel my feet.

(motherf*ckers won't fix the heater...I bet it will be repaired just in time for summer)
 
2013-12-23 11:33:18 PM
"Suddenly" has lost all meaning, given that I heard this story maybe 5 years ago now.
 
2013-12-23 11:35:31 PM
No more bananas?

25.media.tumblr.com

Guess they decided to...split.

/Yeeeaaahhhh
 
2013-12-23 11:47:03 PM
nsfw

http://i.imgur.com/BEGnO.png
 
2013-12-23 11:47:22 PM

Gyrfalcon: doglover: Gyrfalcon: if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.

You have no idea how special CA weather is, do ya? You bastards don't even have winter.

Hm, there must be some other reason it was so cold in my office today I couldn't feel my feet.

(motherf*ckers won't fix the heater...I bet it will be repaired just in time for summer)


Probably diabetic circulation problems.


In the coldest month, January, the temperature typically ranges from 59 to 73 °F (15 to 23 °C) during the day and 45 to 55 °F (7 to 13 °C)


I don't know about you, but I like wear T shirts in 13 degree weather if I'm moving and maybe a thin jacket if I have to sit a spell.
 
2013-12-23 11:52:01 PM

Hollie Maea: If you go back to the source (New Guinea) you can find tons of different kinds of bananas. Probably not with much commercial potential unless they can hang out in a semi for a week without going "bad".


You know what I hate? I hate those bananas in the supermarket these days that will ripen and have brown spots all over them, but somehow they are still hard and green. It just ain't natural.
 
2013-12-23 11:54:42 PM

assjuice: Even Minnesota?


If you can keep your greenhouse above 20F in the winter, you can grow banana plants in Minnesota.  To get them to fruit, you'll need a location with full sun and you'll need to keep the minimum temperature above freezing.

I have a friend who lives in St Louis Park and she has a fancy greenhouse with insulated glass and a small heater.  When the days get really cold, she'll throw old quilts and burlap blankets over the greenhouse and switch on her LED grow lights.
 
2013-12-24 12:03:48 AM

NephilimNexus: [survivalfarm.files.wordpress.com image 375x262]

Article mistakenly assumes that Americans actually eat fruit.


Did you know: Those kids aren't actually 'Americans'?
 
2013-12-24 12:06:04 AM
WHO'S THE biatch NOW?!  - Monsanto
 
2013-12-24 12:11:46 AM

I Browse: No more bananas?

[25.media.tumblr.com image 320x240]

Guess they decided to...split.

/Yeeeaaahhhh


You go now!
 
2013-12-24 12:16:54 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Luse: Quantum Apostrophe: Maggie_Luna: Are we talking about your sexuality or is this a round about way of saying you've gotten fat?

Both I guess. I was as flexible as a Chinese contortionist in high school. No one else offered to suck my dick, so ...

I think I'm beginning to understand you. I couldn't exist in a world where a pretty young thing doesn't ask to have my cock in her mouth. I'll even hold off on my usual 3d printing quips.

Oh yeah? OH YEAH!? Well your MOM was a 3d printer!!!!


Highly useful, adaptable and productive? Hell yeah she is! She made the awesome that is ME! I like you QA. I like you alot. I think we agree about far more than we don't. Despite the appearances.
 
2013-12-24 12:28:53 AM

bbqsandwich: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

Maybe your taste buds just died off?


Afraid he's correct. The world switched varieties when the old one pretty much was killed off by disease. Cultivated bananas do not produce seeds, it's all by cuttings. Very little genetic variety. Bananas with seeds are chock-full-o-seeds, no fun to eat.
 
2013-12-24 12:32:54 AM
img.fark.net
Banana S'more
 
2013-12-24 12:36:50 AM

Torion!: [img.fark.net image 850x479]
Banana S'more


what is that magical concoction?! I demand a recipe
 
2013-12-24 12:42:36 AM

Yogimus: Torion!: [img.fark.net image 850x479]
Banana S'more

what is that magical concoction?! I demand a recipe


I think the picture is the recipe.
 
2013-12-24 12:44:31 AM

lewismarktwo: Yogimus: Torion!: [img.fark.net image 850x479]
Banana S'more

what is that magical concoction?! I demand a recipe

I think the picture is the recipe.


The logistics, man! What of the logistics? It's like getting a box of legos with no instructions! I see the pieces, I see the picture, but the road tween them, she is covered in a fog!
 
2013-12-24 12:46:34 AM

Luse: Highly useful, adaptable and productive?


I wish I could take a peek at your scrip pad. It must be impressive.

Luse: I like you alot.


3.bp.blogspot.com

Luse: I think we agree about far more than we don't.


That no one is going anywhere, ever, and 3D printing is just a shape prototyping tool and not a Star Trek object replicator?

Sweet, and here I thought you were an uncritical gee-wiz fanboi.
 
2013-12-24 12:57:26 AM

2wolves: Mono-cultures are easy to wipe out.


Yup and unfortunately this applies to a quite a few of our crops.
 
2013-12-24 01:03:44 AM
You have given me the greatest christmas present this year.
 
2013-12-24 01:05:46 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Luse: Highly useful, adaptable and productive?

I wish I could take a peek at your scrip pad. It must be impressive.

Luse: I like you alot.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]

Luse: I think we agree about far more than we don't.

That no one is going anywhere, ever, and 3D printing is just a shape prototyping tool and not a Star Trek object replicator?

Anywhere, ever? Come on now, who's being foolish?

Sweet, and here I thought you were an uncritical gee-wiz fanboi.

If nothing else, I'm a cynic. Maybe a dreamer at some point too, but a cynic first and foremost. In a provable timeline, as defined by yours and mine lifetime, you're right. Unless you're omniscient and can see into the future, you'd be a damned fool to predict what cannot be done. Today's Science is yesterday's magic. What makes you believe that the same won't be true tomorrow?
 
2013-12-24 01:08:36 AM
Banana S'more Recipe

Preheat toaster oven to 350
Place banana on foil.
Cut and peel one banana flap, do not remove flap,
Cut V into exposed banana, gently remove banana.
Fill V with marshmallows and chocolate bits
Place previously removed banana on marshmallow and chocolate bits
Place flap back onto banana
Wrap banana with foil
Put foiled banana into toaster oven
Wait 10 mins
Banana S'more Time

/wife makes them, I just eat them
 
2013-12-24 01:09:43 AM

cryinoutloud: Dextro: I guess it's a good thing bananas grow naturally in my back yard.
/Delicious, delicious bananas

What? How YOU--oh wait, you live in Florida. Enjoy your bananas.


Haha, I'm doing well, thank you. Despite the people I share this state with, I am quite fond of my residence AND my bananas. In fact, there is an entire stalk of bananas in my back yard awaiting harvest and I have quite a few already in my freezer.

And, yes, they are awesome!
 
2013-12-24 01:12:24 AM

Yogimus: lewismarktwo: Yogimus: Torion!: [img.fark.net image 850x479]
Banana S'more

what is that magical concoction?! I demand a recipe

I think the picture is the recipe.

The logistics, man! What of the logistics? It's like getting a box of legos with no instructions! I see the pieces, I see the picture, but the road tween them, she is covered in a fog!


kk, cut off peel from top of bananr, pop out nannr cut in haif.  Cram in smoreshtuff then recombobulate and wrap in teh foils.  Threw in fire bout a minutertwo.
 
2013-12-24 01:20:58 AM
This is all just a metaphor for Prince Charles sexuality. I suggest watching Colbert wrap his hand around the issue.

/easily some of Colbert's best work
//only time I've seen those two laughing so hard they break character
 
2013-12-24 01:26:44 AM

Luse: What makes you believe that the same won't be true tomorrow?


Because if you use that as an argument, anything at all is possible. In the future, we'll all use magic and have unicorns as pets. Ridiculous, isn't it? There are broad limits to what makes sense and doesn't, and if you spend your life dreaming about massive breakthroughs in our understanding of physics, chemistry, engineering and reality, what makes you different from someone who call psychic hotlines? Who are you to say psychics won't be reliable tomorrow?
 
2013-12-24 01:30:17 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Luse: What makes you believe that the same won't be true tomorrow?

Because if you use that as an argument, anything at all is possible. In the future, we'll all use magic and have unicorns as pets. Ridiculous, isn't it? There are broad limits to what makes sense and doesn't, and if you spend your life dreaming about massive breakthroughs in our understanding of physics, chemistry, engineering and reality, what makes you different from someone who call psychic hotlines? Who are you to say psychics won't be reliable tomorrow?


Because the psychics of yesterday are no more reliable today. I simply don't pretend to know what people smarter than me will discover tomorrow.
 
2013-12-24 01:32:46 AM

Lee451: Hey Mr. Tally man tally me banana....


Ok.  Two inches.  Next!
 
2013-12-24 01:42:04 AM

Luse: Because the psychics of yesterday are no more reliable today. I simply don't pretend to know what people smarter than me will discover tomorrow.


That just means you'll have faith in anything at all. And if that's not what it means, then you DO know about physics. It's not magic. And the physics of yesterday was plenty fine, we just refined it. The neutron was only discovered in 1932 and except for nuclear reactions, has no bearing at all on any technology we use.

So, is any prediction of the future as valid as any other? You know, since you're not competent enough to know what we will discover tomorrow?

How about a 747 that flies you across the ocean at the speed of light on a drop of kerosene? What would you think of that? Why am I not allowed to think that?

The whole point is that people smarter than you ALREADY LOOKED. This is the world we live in NOW!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to order some plastic trinkets on the Web. It's the productive future I've always dreamed about. Why everyone needs to work so much for such an insecure life I don't know, but we're all very productive. What we produce and for whose benefit I don't know, but only a Luddite would doubt our glorious future!
 
2013-12-24 01:51:15 AM
I see QA has shiat all over this thread and thus brought it to an abrupt end.
 
2013-12-24 01:52:24 AM
Aw ... it looks like I won't getting high off smoking the bananadine extracted from the peels anymore.
 
2013-12-24 02:00:35 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Luse: Because the psychics of yesterday are no more reliable today. I simply don't pretend to know what people smarter than me will discover tomorrow.

That just means you'll have faith in anything at all. And if that's not what it means, then you DO know about physics. It's not magic. And the physics of yesterday was plenty fine, we just refined it. The neutron was only discovered in 1932 and except for nuclear reactions, has no bearing at all on any technology we use.

So, is any prediction of the future as valid as any other? You know, since you're not competent enough to know what we will discover tomorrow?

How about a 747 that flies you across the ocean at the speed of light on a drop of kerosene? What would you think of that? Why am I not allowed to think that?

The whole point is that people smarter than you ALREADY LOOKED. This is the world we live in NOW!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to order some plastic trinkets on the Web. It's the productive future I've always dreamed about. Why everyone needs to work so much for such an insecure life I don't know, but we're all very productive. What we produce and for whose benefit I don't know, but only a Luddite would doubt our glorious future!


Last I checked things like the speed of light were considered an absolute. To pretend you'd break it with a drop of kerosene is ridiculous. Fark, if you're pushing to the ridiculous why kerosene? Why not water? Why not an oxygen atom? Why not a chip of bark? How about a single drop of sweat? Your examples are sadly linear. A quote I heard, and I fail to remember the source is that within science, rarely do the major moments come as a "Eureka" moment. Far more often the amazing breakthroughs are, "Well, that's odd."  Viagra was a heart medication long before it became a boner pill. We're not nearly as clever as we'd like to pretend we are. You make claims of what is impossible. Humans have a history of proving people like you wrong.

The thing is, we could use you, as a species. You're not stupid, you're the opposite. You simply work too hard at trying to prove what can't be done, in spite of yourself. We say, "It may be possible."
You say, "Absolutely no farking way!"
We have proof that a single man defeated nearly a thousand invaders, with a shiatty Russian rifle, using only iron sights. (Simo Haya).
If you watched a movie on it tomorrow you'd call bullshiat, and you'd be wrong.

To answer your question, if you make exceptional claims I expect exceptional proof. I won't, however, pretend to know better than anyone in history. You do.
 
2013-12-24 02:47:45 AM

VOCSL5: I remember when bananas had prominent black seeds in the center - like kiwi-fruit.  I havne't seen any that look like that since I was a kid.... probably around 1990.


It took me a few seconds for me to remember, but now that I think about it.. they did used to have seeds, and they seemed to have a slightly different flavor to them.
 
2013-12-24 02:53:13 AM

calbert: No. he had it right the first time. God's perfect fruit. a correction isn't warranted.

2.bp.blogspot.com


Is that a glacial moraine behind those fartards?

KarmicDisaster: Not that they saved any wild types to cross them with anyway oops. And this time there is no real substitute that looks or tastes anything like a banana.


I think Banana's are like Cherries, there are a metric assload of different types, but unlike Cherries the ones we've come to prefer are all cuttings off a wild found seedless mutant.

Scary to me is I remember reading that unlike the US where Banana's are mostly a treat in some parts of the world they are a critical part of the food supply. I've heard the same said of mango's.
 
2013-12-24 02:58:12 AM
lparchive.org
 
2013-12-24 03:41:35 AM

doglover: Gyrfalcon: doglover: Gyrfalcon: if they grow wild in a backyard in Southern California, they might grow anywhere.

You have no idea how special CA weather is, do ya? You bastards don't even have winter.

Hm, there must be some other reason it was so cold in my office today I couldn't feel my feet.

(motherf*ckers won't fix the heater...I bet it will be repaired just in time for summer)

Probably diabetic circulation problems.


In the coldest month, January, the temperature typically ranges from 59 to 73 °F (15 to 23 °C) during the day and 45 to 55 °F (7 to 13 °C)

I don't know about you, but I like wear T shirts in 13 degree weather if I'm moving and maybe a thin jacket if I have to sit a spell.


Pics or it isn't happening.

And I do have poor foot circulation; from too many broken toes doing karate, not metabolic issues, thank you very much. But we're having a cold snap right now, and besides heating issues, the office building is not well insulated. It's been colder inside than outside lately, which is really sucky.
 
2013-12-24 05:28:26 AM
I used to make a living, picking the banana...

\now I'm a guide for the CIA
\\horray for the USA
 
2013-12-24 06:17:33 AM

Torion!: Banana S'more Recipe

Preheat toaster oven to 350
Place banana on foil.
Cut and peel one banana flap, do not remove flap,
Cut V into exposed banana, gently remove banana.
Fill V with marshmallows and chocolate bits
Place previously removed banana on marshmallow and chocolate bits
Place flap back onto banana
Wrap banana with foil
Put foiled banana into toaster oven
Wait 10 mins
Banana S'more Time

/wife makes them, I just eat them


Thank you good sir for the recipe.  I'm going to make some Banana S'mores for my party tonight.   It  will be a nice addition to,  and  something completely different  from what I usually serve.  I'm sure the  kids will love them.  I may try adding some kind of liqueur to them   for us bigger kids.
 
2013-12-24 07:37:15 AM

bbqsandwich: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

Maybe your taste buds just died off?


You know how things that are banana flavored like popsicles and candy and what not taste absolutely nothing like a banana?  (and are sickly sweet and horrible tasting in my opinion)

Well, they don't taste like bananas because the flavoring is based on the last species of banana that we used to use which became impossible to use for large scale farming in most of the world due to a fungus.  Basically, if you're any of the places the US or Europe gets its bananas from, and you try to grow that species there, you will have large scale losses from this disease.  So, we switched.  The previous one was the Gros Michel, and the new one is the Cavendish.  Still can get the Gros Michel in east Asia apparently.
 
2013-12-24 07:48:22 AM

Jamieboy: Torion!: Banana S'more Recipe

Preheat toaster oven to 350
Place banana on foil.
Cut and peel one banana flap, do not remove flap,
Cut V into exposed banana, gently remove banana.
Fill V with marshmallows and chocolate bits
Place previously removed banana on marshmallow and chocolate bits
Place flap back onto banana
Wrap banana with foil
Put foiled banana into toaster oven
Wait 10 mins
Banana S'more Time

/wife makes them, I just eat them

Thank you good sir for the recipe.  I'm going to make some Banana S'mores for my party tonight.   It  will be a nice addition to,  and  something completely different  from what I usually serve.  I'm sure the  kids will love them.  I may try adding some kind of liqueur to them   for us bigger kids.


If you like sweet liquor, you could try 99 bananas with it...It tastes like banana candy.
 
2013-12-24 08:22:13 AM

roger_lamothe: eating a banana is like sucking a cock. disgusting


I wouldn't know. I've never had a banana.
 
2013-12-24 08:46:08 AM
A fungus among us and it's come for the bananas.
 
2013-12-24 09:21:20 AM

Snarfangel: Gene-engineering will fix the fungus problem, and you won't have to buy a bunch at a time.
[www.seriouseats.com image 610x458]


She's awfully ambitious, isn't she? She might want to start a little smaller.

/maybe with your average Farker?
 
2013-12-24 09:37:48 AM
www.riomate.com
 
2013-12-24 10:34:22 AM
 
2013-12-24 10:39:59 AM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-24 11:32:13 AM
dairycarrie.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-24 11:38:05 AM

Begoggle: I see QA has shiat all over this thread and thus brought it to an abrupt end.


ignore the user, then ignore posts responding and quoting the user. The only reason I knew their was threadshiatting afoot is because you used it's initials.
 
2013-12-24 12:07:33 PM

JasonOfOrillia: These fungus stories have been floating around for years.  I guess it is a disaster just in really slow motion.


Yep . Old news . Bananas were already supposed to be extinct by now .
 
2013-12-24 02:06:35 PM

invictus2: Have a bannana


I was hoping it would be Osbie's Banana Song.

/It's harder than you'd think to find Pynchon songs.
 
2013-12-24 02:07:04 PM
The Banana Pandemic is my new fake band name
 
2013-12-24 02:36:42 PM
No suddenly bananas motivator?
 
2013-12-24 04:31:31 PM

i1089.photobucket.com

It's bananas all the way down, not turtles

 
2013-12-24 08:01:08 PM
At least one will remain.

asset-4.soup.io
 
2013-12-24 09:05:06 PM

bbqsandwich: Tarkus: Meh, the good tasting bananas died out in 1970. Bananas haven't tasted right since then.

Maybe your taste buds just died off?


No, there was a different species of banana used before blight wiped them out. Forget the name, though.
 
2013-12-24 11:28:58 PM
Really, really want a Gros Michel. They still grow them Asia. Unfortunately, don't think I'm going there any time soon.
 
2013-12-25 01:47:34 AM
WHY ARE YOU GUYS NOT BEATING THAT GUY UP FOR SHIATTING UP A FARKING BANANA THREAD!!??

farking Bart Sibrel, goddamn

wtf is the matter with his mind anyway...
 
2013-12-25 06:44:46 AM

Dinjiin: assjuice: Even Minnesota?

If you can keep your greenhouse above 20F in the winter, you can grow banana plants in Minnesota.  To get them to fruit, you'll need a location with full sun and you'll need to keep the minimum temperature above freezing.

I have a friend who lives in St Louis Park and she has a fancy greenhouse with insulated glass and a small heater.  When the days get really cold, she'll throw old quilts and burlap blankets over the greenhouse and switch on her LED grow lights.


If you're gonna read anything by Pynchon, read the opening scene to Gravity's Rainbow. Probably the only worthwhile scene in the book.
 
2013-12-25 07:18:18 AM
What if he's got a pointed stick?
i.imgur.com
 
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