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(Consumer Reports)   The top reasons why you're such a grinch at Christmas. Yes, "having to be nice" is on the list   (consumerreports.org) divider line 112
    More: Obvious, Hammerstein, The Sound of Music  
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4410 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2013 at 5:06 PM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



112 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-23 04:08:31 PM
If the only reason you're nice to people this season is because it's expected, you're not a nice person in general.

/that's bad
 
2013-12-23 04:26:58 PM
Fake holiday cheer -30 percent

This is something to dread?  I get "dislike" or "be annoyed by," but dread?
 
2013-12-23 04:34:03 PM
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel,
Mr. Grinch.
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul, Mr Grinch.
I wouldn't touch you with a
Thirty-nine and a half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,
Mr Grinch.
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr Grinch.

The three best words that best describe you,
Are as follows, and I quote"
Stink!
Stank!
Stunk!

You're a rotter Mr Grinch
You're the king of sinful sots
Your hearts a dead tomato squashed with moldy purple spots
Mr Grinch

Your sole is a appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr Grinch
With a noxious super "naus"
You're a crooked jerky jockey and,
You drive a crooked horse
Mr Grinch!

You're a three-decker sauerkraut
And toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!
 
2013-12-23 05:08:01 PM
1) too busy
2) liquor stores closed
 
2013-12-23 05:09:29 PM
gregstevens.name
 
2013-12-23 05:10:39 PM

Nick Nostril: 1) too busy
2) liquor stores closed


Im in the heart of flyover country and unless Christmas happens to be on sunday there is a liquor store open somewhere in town.
 
2013-12-23 05:10:54 PM
1) This commercial (it's hardly a holiday) has been advertised since August, I am god damned farking sick of it.
 
2013-12-23 05:11:04 PM
But seriously with all this Inbred Dynasty stupidity its kind of nice to get a little R&R.
 
2013-12-23 05:11:08 PM
#38 - having to explain to my toddlers each day for 3 weeks that no, today is not Christmas.
 
2013-12-23 05:11:33 PM
The Grinch is old and busted, the Krampus is teh new hotness
 
2013-12-23 05:14:13 PM
Not enough rum in the nogg.
 
2013-12-23 05:16:41 PM

Stoj: #38 - having to explain to my toddlers each day for 3 weeks that no, today is not Christmas.


get them an advent calendar you grinch
 
2013-12-23 05:18:40 PM

Saborlas: If the only reason you're nice to people this season is because it's expected, you're not a nice person in general.

/that's bad


Too true
 
2013-12-23 05:19:09 PM
I love Christmas, my second favorite holiday next to Halloween. I'm just sad it's over so soon.
 
2013-12-23 05:19:21 PM
If holiday traffic isn't on the list, you can fornicate yourself with a rusty pike, subby.
 
2013-12-23 05:20:34 PM
It's the hap-hap-happiest two intolerable farking months of the year!
 
2013-12-23 05:21:28 PM
Strangely, "White people problems" absent from list.
 
2013-12-23 05:21:35 PM
To Christmas and the newyears crap that follows:

www.giniesayles.com
 
2013-12-23 05:25:24 PM
I think it's the expectation of it being perfect and fun. I've always felt like it's more of a performance than holiday.
 
2013-12-23 05:25:41 PM

Plant Rights Activist: Stoj: #38 - having to explain to my toddlers each day for 3 weeks that no, today is not Christmas.

get them an advent calendar you grinch


I was about to but then I started to really enjoy running into their room each morning, waking them up 30 minutes early yelling "COME ON BOYS WAKE UP WAKE UP SANTA WAS HERE... but he must've forgot the presents again."
 
2013-12-23 05:27:06 PM
Obligatory

/YOU RIG UP THESE LIGHTS!
 
2013-12-23 05:28:09 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I love Christmas, my second favorite holiday next to Halloween. I'm just sad it's over so soon.


Two months isn't enough for ya?
 
2013-12-23 05:30:42 PM

Oldiron_79: Nick Nostril: 1) too busy
2) liquor stores closed

Im in the heart of flyover country and unless Christmas happens to be on sunday there is a liquor store open somewhere in town.


I too am in contrail country, but not aware of any purveyors of bottled spirits in business on that day.

/ well stocked, so no matter.
 
2013-12-23 05:31:29 PM
I'm not a fan of shopping. I dislike sales people, confusing coupons and sales, and crowds. So when my monthly shopping load is quadrupled, I get a little grumpy. Thank goodness for online shopping.
 
2013-12-23 05:33:34 PM
#1 Working in retail this time of year.

(CSB) I'm working retail for the first time in over 20 years. (Fun fact: I'm earning ten cents more an hour than I was in 1990.(And that's NOT adjusted for inflation.)) People are unbelievably rude, rushed, and expect everything now & a discount because they have to wait in a line of over 3 people. I've been yelled at, spit on, almost puked on, and had someone scream at me until I honored her $5 off coupon (that wasn't eligible until next week, but I neglected to explain that to her 15 minutes before when I said, "on your next visit.") while telling her that it was almost an hours worth of my take home pay and taking a fiver out of my pocket, I honestly thought that she wouldn't take it as she was wearing a fur coat, but now I'm $5 less wealthy and more wise.

TLDR: If you think you hate humanity now, work retail in December.
 
2013-12-23 05:34:08 PM
Actually, I'm pretty sure it's just because my heart is three sizes too small.
 
2013-12-23 05:36:46 PM

Dragonflew: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I love Christmas, my second favorite holiday next to Halloween. I'm just sad it's over so soon.

Two months isn't enough for ya?


Eh, I don't get into the Christmas mood until December.
 
2013-12-23 05:36:47 PM
I don't understand all of this hostility toward Christmas. It's a wonderful time with completely harmless and thoroughly enjoyable traditions. When I hear the word I think of how much I looked forward to it as a child and all the warmth and joy of the season.

My suspicion is that people who don't like Christmas had a less than ideal childhood. I'm sorry if daddy drank too much or mommy didn't have a job. But don't try and bring me down with your sourpuss attitude.

It's almost as bad as that preachy John Lennon tune they drag out each year "And so Happy Christmas-- and what have you done?"  Give it a rest already Lennon!  It's f'ing Christmas-- can't you just forget about the whole social justice thing, just until Boxing Day?

In conclusion, if you dislike Christmas, you're either poor, neglected, or John Lennon.
 
2013-12-23 05:42:36 PM
I think what puts me ina bad mood is the fact that every year before thanksgiving the company puts out an email to everyone saying that they cant have their personal stuff sent here, yet every year my loading dock is jammed with their crap. One year this asshat got 2 power wheels sent here and tried to have us store them for him. The boxes were huge and we had no room so after many emails we just left them outside. He got all pissy and gave us tude and I said if he would like we could get his boss and my boss involved in it. He changed his tude quick then.
 
2013-12-23 05:42:40 PM

nickdaisy: I don't understand all of this hostility toward Christmas. It's a wonderful time with completely harmless and thoroughly enjoyable traditions. When I hear the word I think of how much I looked forward to it as a child and all the warmth and joy of the season.

My suspicion is that people who don't like Christmas had a less than ideal childhood. I'm sorry if daddy drank too much or mommy didn't have a job. But don't try and bring me down with your sourpuss attitude.

It's almost as bad as that preachy John Lennon tune they drag out each year "And so Happy Christmas-- and what have you done?"  Give it a rest already Lennon!  It's f'ing Christmas-- can't you just forget about the whole social justice thing, just until Boxing Day?

In conclusion, if you dislike Christmas, you're either poor, neglected, or John Lennon.


Yep. It's a known fact that being raped as a child makes you not want to listen to the same 12 ancient schmaltzy songs for one sixth of your life on earth.
 
2013-12-23 05:45:39 PM
I am not nice EVAR so it does not apply, I don't like anyone, I don't cater to this "freekin' fake holiday", don't believe in that god thing and even if I did it would be wrong because jesus was born closer to April than December.  I don't give gifts, have no kids, don't like kids, am buying myself a new smoker because I CAN and don't give a crap about the whole thing and yes I am sick of christmas music.  I feel better now.
 
2013-12-23 05:51:06 PM
the boss cut hours back and some farking do good biatch in the office wants $20 from every body to buy that dick a present fark her and fark him
 
2013-12-23 05:51:41 PM
So does anyone know what channel KISS Saves Santa is on?
 
2013-12-23 05:52:09 PM
I thought "Christmas" was the day after Thanksgiving.  Did I miss it?  Ok, seriously - I love Christmas.  But when my barber asked me the other day what my favorite part was, I replied, "When it's finally over."

/kicks dog
 
2013-12-23 05:52:12 PM

nickdaisy: In conclusion, if you dislike Christmas, you're either poor, neglected, or John Lennon.


I hope some day you get locked in a room with Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time on repeat.
 
2013-12-23 06:01:40 PM
I used to be able to tolerate Christmas starting in October in all the retail establishments, the Black Thursday/Friday stupidity, and having to fight the holiday crowds when all I want is a gallon of milk and some batteries. But having to listen to all the moronic shiat about the War on Christmas, and DD, have just kinda pushed me over the edge. fark Christmas.
 
2013-12-23 06:10:17 PM
I'm sick so I decided to go buy some Vernors (because Vernors cures all). Got to the grocery store and cars were lined up on the street just to get in to the parking lot. Rather than fight through that hell, I turned around and went home where I can feel miserable in peace.

Thanks Christmas!

/yes there is only one store in this town that carries Vernors
//yes Vernors is that good
///*cough *
 
2013-12-23 06:11:44 PM
I'm a grinch because you idiots who celebrate this sham of a holiday represent nothing but willful ignorance to me.
 
2013-12-23 06:16:13 PM

SquiggsIN: I'm a grinch because you idiots who celebrate this sham of a holiday represent nothing but willful ignorance to me.


How is it a sham?
 
2013-12-23 06:20:47 PM

Stoj: Plant Rights Activist: Stoj: #38 - having to explain to my toddlers each day for 3 weeks that no, today is not Christmas.

get them an advent calendar you grinch

I was about to but then I started to really enjoy running into their room each morning, waking them up 30 minutes early yelling "COME ON BOYS WAKE UP WAKE UP SANTA WAS HERE... but he must've forgot the presents again."


You could do what my uncle did to me when I was a kid. Tell them, "I'm gonna shoot Santa Claus. I'm sick of that son-of-a-biatch eating all the cookies, and having to clean reindeer shiat off my roof every year. You better hope he gets to your house first!"

/csb
 
2013-12-23 06:22:26 PM

SquiggsIN: I'm a grinch because you idiots who celebrate this sham of a holiday represent nothing but willful ignorance to me.


Looks like we've started the airing of greivances
 
2013-12-23 06:23:16 PM

oldwolf49: I am not nice EVAR so it does not apply, I don't like anyone, I don't cater to this "freekin' fake holiday", don't believe in that god thing and even if I did it would be wrong because jesus was born closer to April than December.  I don't give gifts, have no kids, don't like kids, am buying myself a new smoker because I CAN and don't give a crap about the whole thing and yes I am sick of christmas music.  I feel better now.


Jeez, I didn't know I had a twin on Fark.
 
2013-12-23 06:23:52 PM
It's an artificial holiday.  Might as well give the same emphasis to Columbus Day and put three ships on your front lawn.
 
2013-12-23 06:29:03 PM

Hardy-r-r: It's an artificial holiday.  Might as well give the same emphasis to Columbus Day and put three ships on your front lawn.


As your neighbor, I would have to retaliate with a statue horde of pissed off Puerto Ricans.
 
2013-12-23 06:29:34 PM
IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE X-MAS.
THE MALL IS FULL OF ASSHOLES.
 
2013-12-23 06:32:11 PM

dogslobber buttlube: oldwolf49: I am not nice EVAR so it does not apply, I don't like anyone, I don't cater to this "freekin' fake holiday", don't believe in that god thing and even if I did it would be wrong because jesus was born closer to April than December.  I don't give gifts, have no kids, don't like kids, am buying myself a new smoker because I CAN and don't give a crap about the whole thing and yes I am sick of christmas music.  I feel better now.

Jeez, I didn't know I had a twin on Fark.


sup' bro...........
 
2013-12-23 06:33:55 PM

Hardy-r-r: It's an artificial holiday.  Might as well give the same emphasis to Columbus Day and put three ships on your front lawn.


You mean you don't??
 
2013-12-23 06:35:46 PM

Hardy-r-r: It's an artificial holiday.  Might as well give the same emphasis to Columbus Day and put three ships on your front lawn.


What if I decorate for the Wookie Life day?
 
2013-12-23 06:36:47 PM
The ones that pertain to me the most:

3. Fake holiday cheer
4. Gift shopping
5. Seasonal movies playing over and over on TV
7. Seasonal music (Big one for me)
10. Having to attend holiday parties or gatherings
13. Having to be nice (Another big one, this effects me all year around)
 
2013-12-23 06:38:04 PM
I'll call a whambulance for y'all.

I didn't have the best childhood, things got worse when my coke-addicted "daddy's girl" sister moved back in and wrecked the family, and holidays, especially Christmas, always devolved into an epic family argument. To top it all off, I'm an atheist and have no religious reason to celebrate.

I got over the childhood misery and love Christmas for the food, friends, family and good times.

Merry Christmas everyone.
 
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