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(Pro Wrestling Torch)   Pay up your Christmas Bills or expect a visit from Sexual Chocolate Santa. Just make sure to avoid what Randy Orton left in your stocking. It's the Christmas Eve Eve Raw 8pm EST   (pwtorch.com) divider line 1093
    More: Cool, Sexual Chocolate Santa, Randy Orton, Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter, named stars, Dodge Viper  
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210 clicks; posted to Sports » on 23 Dec 2013 at 7:11 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



1093 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-23 02:27:21 PM
BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY, I'M HERE!  But if the Christmas show is as atrocious as last year's, I'm not watching.

/the gredunza is mine!
 
2013-12-23 02:33:33 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: So, thanks to my own stupidity, I botched up the award list.  I guess that makes me an early entrant for the 2014 botch of the year, lol.

Corrected winners:

Headline of the year: The Mark Henry Retirement Swerve (thread 7801278)
headline:    Pay that final air bill, put away the peas one more time and eat your last bar of Sexual Chocolate. Mark Henry says that Father Time is undefeated but maybe, he could just suffer one World's Strongest Slam. Raw 8pm EDT

IATTC Award (most wins in 2013): ShiningWizard, with a total of 11

Oh don't be so harsh on yourself! Without you there wouldn't have been any fWc Slammys as the rest of us are for too lazy for such an undertaking, lulz

Idea from the FWC FB group:  You should PShop an award certificate or trophy for JBL, and we'll tweet it to him.  :D


I'm tempted to see a farker make a "What's your Fark handle JBL?" sign.

And agreed with GMJ, a photoshopped award sent to JBL is a great idea
 
2013-12-23 02:38:56 PM

TheManofPA: Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: So, thanks to my own stupidity, I botched up the award list.  I guess that makes me an early entrant for the 2014 botch of the year, lol.

Corrected winners:

Headline of the year: The Mark Henry Retirement Swerve (thread 7801278)
headline:    Pay that final air bill, put away the peas one more time and eat your last bar of Sexual Chocolate. Mark Henry says that Father Time is undefeated but maybe, he could just suffer one World's Strongest Slam. Raw 8pm EDT

IATTC Award (most wins in 2013): ShiningWizard, with a total of 11

Oh don't be so harsh on yourself! Without you there wouldn't have been any fWc Slammys as the rest of us are for too lazy for such an undertaking, lulz

Idea from the FWC FB group:  You should PShop an award certificate or trophy for JBL, and we'll tweet it to him.  :D

I'm tempted to see a farker make a "What's your Fark handle JBL?" sign.

And agreed with GMJ, a photoshopped award sent to JBL is a great idea


Waidaminnit. Wouldn't that be SW giving an award to SW? She's JBL, we already knew that.
 
2013-12-23 03:03:33 PM

TheManofPA: For what it's worth, Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer Newsletter speculates that Batista is returning to win the 2014 Royal Rumble match and face Randy Orton for the WWE World Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania XXX.


So Rock/Cena, the cheap version?

Plus, Jeff Jarrett resigned from TNA aka he gone.
 
2013-12-23 03:40:38 PM

TheManofPA: Grand_Moff_Joseph: So, thanks to my own stupidity, I botched up the award list.  I guess that makes me an early entrant for the 2014 botch of the year, lol.

Corrected winners:

Headline of the year: The Mark Henry Retirement Swerve (thread 7801278)
headline:    Pay that final air bill, put away the peas one more time and eat your last bar of Sexual Chocolate. Mark Henry says that Father Time is undefeated but maybe, he could just suffer one World's Strongest Slam. Raw 8pm EDT

IATTC Award (most wins in 2013): Shining Wizard, with a total of 11

Mwahahaha in the swerve, both of the top headlines were mine, my own, my precious..............

Also, I stole the submitting headlines at 2am from FNB when he gave the advice years ago as we were trying to get threads green before show. I didn't know anyone still did it and wanted to put in the Pug pictures because oddly enough of all the posted pictures, that had never happened and seemed easy.


You learned too well.

NOW I MUST DESTROY YOU!
 
2013-12-23 03:42:00 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: So, thanks to my own stupidity, I botched up the award list.  I guess that makes me an early entrant for the 2014 botch of the year, lol.

Corrected winners:

Headline of the year: The Mark Henry Retirement Swerve (thread 7801278)
headline:    Pay that final air bill, put away the peas one more time and eat your last bar of Sexual Chocolate. Mark Henry says that Father Time is undefeated but maybe, he could just suffer one World's Strongest Slam. Raw 8pm EDT

IATTC Award (most wins in 2013): ShiningWizard, with a total of 11

Oh don't be so harsh on yourself! Without you there wouldn't have been any fWc Slammys as the rest of us are for too lazy for such an undertaking, lulz

Idea from the FWC FB group:  You should PShop an award certificate or trophy for JBL, and we'll tweet it to him.  :D


Oh Joseph, my dear sweet wonderful Joey... you really think I don't already have something PShopped up for the fWc Slammys tonight? Tisk, tisk! XD

When I get home I'll post the pic so you can tweet it out to him asap. Don't have access to it here at work
 
2013-12-23 03:55:05 PM

ShiningWizard: Oh Joseph, my dear sweet wonderful Joey


Arg...you had me at your beck-and-call until you said 'Joey'... Worst form of 'Joseph' in existence (imo)

Other than that, you may continue with the effusive praise.  XD

/lulz
//slow day at the cubicle farm
 
2013-12-23 05:05:06 PM

cman: Remember when wrestling sucked but it was still somewhat watchable? If we could just go back to what the WWE did in 2006, I think that would make it watchable again.


there was a gold era of sports entertainment

img837.imageshack.us
 
2013-12-23 05:12:50 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: Oh Joseph, my dear sweet wonderful Joey

Arg...you had me at your beck-and-call until you said 'Joey'... Worst form of 'Joseph' in existence (imo)

Other than that, you may continue with the effusive praise.  XD

/lulz
//slow day at the cubicle farm


You know us gals, we like to build ya up just to ruin it at the end! lulz
 
2013-12-23 05:25:02 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: Oh Joseph, my dear sweet wonderful Joey

Arg...you had me at your beck-and-call until you said 'Joey'... Worst form of 'Joseph' in existence (imo)

Other than that, you may continue with the effusive praise.  XD

/lulz
//slow day at the cubicle farm


i know a couple of guys who go by joey in all but formal settings, but in both cases the response is "no, JOSEPH is my father.  my name's joey."  and i get the sense that neither of them got along well with their dads, unfortunately...

at least joey works with a y.  being called matty sets my teeth on edge.  both sides of my family are split half and half along matthew/matt lines, so either of those works fine by me, but it wasn't until i was out of college that i ran into someone who used that -y.  was one of those "i heard noise coming out of your mouth, but that was not a recognizable word" moments.
 
2013-12-23 05:29:13 PM
oh, and before the raw thread takes off i wanted to make sure i'm still following where the arc is at.  is royal rumble the only ppv before wm?
 
2013-12-23 05:32:42 PM

cynicalminion: oh, and before the raw thread takes off i wanted to make sure i'm still following where the arc is at.  is royal rumble the only ppv before wm?


Nope.

Rumble, Elimination Chamber, WM.
 
2013-12-23 05:57:32 PM
ok, elimination chamber i'm not familiar with, is it an orton marathon?
 
2013-12-23 06:00:26 PM

cynicalminion: ok, elimination chamber i'm not familiar with, is it an orton marathon?


You beat me to the Orton joke.

No, they lock 5 guys in little plexiglass booths built into a cage around the ring, and let them out one at a time to fight.

Santino almost won the WHC in the 2012 Elimination Chamber match, and it would have been the most awesome audible ever called if they'd had him go over and keep the belt until Smackdown. I mean, considering they had Sheamus beat Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds at WM, I don't think losing to Santino would have hurt him too much at that time.
 
2013-12-23 06:04:15 PM

FirstNationalBastard: cynicalminion: ok, elimination chamber i'm not familiar with, is it an orton marathon?

You beat me to the Orton joke.

No, they lock 5 guys in little plexiglass booths built into a cage around the ring, and let them out one at a time to fight.

Santino almost won the WHC in the 2012 Elimination Chamber match, and it would have been the most awesome audible ever called if they'd had him go over and keep the belt until Smackdown. I mean, considering they had Sheamus beat Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds at WM, I don't think losing to Santino would have hurt him too much at that time.


lemme guess, since they're trying to keep interest up for total divas, this year they'll have extra boxes built for them to dance around in while the match is going?
 
2013-12-23 06:10:47 PM

ShiningWizard: FirstNationalBastard: ShiningWizard: FirstNationalBastard: ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Sorry for the delay guys and gals!  I had an appointment with the doctor this morning, so I'm running a bit behind.  :)

Slammy Results will be posted shortly!

I would read each category and nominees before every commercial then announce the winner just after the break just to drag it out all night!

Hey, we're not some rinkydink organization like WWE.

Does that mean you will be adding a fWc Slammy page to the wiki after tonight? lulz

I suppose I would have to.

You and I need another place to celebrate our accomplishments.

I think I'm starting to catch enough flack from winning around here as it is, lulz

I've never hit back to back dunzas so I'm sure someone new will get a title shot tonight unless TripleBastard has anything to say about it. Then again I think nathanjr may get an automatic win this evening. His contract apparently guarantees him a Gredunza win after every other one of mine so he may be unstoppable like AW with an open mic!


You rang?
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-23 06:17:36 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-23 06:50:30 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Idea from the FWC FB group:  You should PShop an award certificate or trophy for JBL, and we'll tweet it to him.  :D


Here ya go...

i1263.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-23 06:53:35 PM
Actually, JBL's slammy should depict the figure with the cowboy hat soaping up a new hire in the shower, whether he wants it or not.
 
2013-12-23 07:01:21 PM

ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Idea from the FWC FB group:  You should PShop an award certificate or trophy for JBL, and we'll tweet it to him.  :D

Here ya go...

[i1263.photobucket.com image 523x654]


Nice!  BTW, do you (or anyone else) have the thread number for when that occured on air?
 
2013-12-23 07:03:55 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Idea from the FWC FB group:  You should PShop an award certificate or trophy for JBL, and we'll tweet it to him.  :D

Here ya go...

[i1263.photobucket.com image 523x654]

Nice!  BTW, do you (or anyone else) have the thread number for when that occured on air?


probably Survivor Series
 
2013-12-23 07:06:00 PM
BTW, I just submitted another Orton-related Sports link.  Hop on over and give it a few comments!  :D
 
2013-12-23 07:13:39 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: BTW, I just submitted another Orton-related Sports link.  Hop on over and give it a few comments!  :D


I like it, but I like the one about Romo throwing his back out and it getting intercepted.
 
2013-12-23 07:17:10 PM
Sup peeps

Are you ready?

ARE YOU READY FOR SUCKAGE!
 
2013-12-23 07:18:36 PM
Fark you.
 
2013-12-23 07:19:56 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to announce to you the**Inaugural FWC Slammy Award Winners**

FWC Rookie of the year: In this category, we have a landslide winner Karate Explosion... seriously guys, it wasnt even close. He had like... 11 million votes. It was cray-cray



Wow... thank you. Truly humbled.
 
2013-12-23 07:20:58 PM

bluorangefyre: Grand_Moff_Joseph: BTW, I just submitted another Orton-related Sports link.  Hop on over and give it a few comments!  :D

I like it, but I like the one about Romo throwing his back out and it getting intercepted.


looks like neither of those got greened.. one about "guaranteed not to choke" did
 
2013-12-23 07:21:37 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Idea from the FWC FB group:  You should PShop an award certificate or trophy for JBL, and we'll tweet it to him.  :D

Here ya go...

[i1263.photobucket.com image 523x654]

Nice!  BTW, do you (or anyone else) have the thread number for when that occured on air?


I do not but I was going to ask who had posted the  Redacted Award for best single joke of the year:In reference to the K-Mart commercial: "I haven't seen a WWE Superstar crash a little kid's birthday party like that since The King learned about Megan's Law."  ???
 
2013-12-23 07:22:07 PM

Karate Explosion: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to announce to you the**Inaugural FWC Slammy Award Winners**

FWC Rookie of the year: In this category, we have a landslide winner Karate Explosion... seriously guys, it wasnt even close. He had like... 11 million votes. It was cray-cray


Wow... thank you. Truly humbled.


No, but you will be

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-23 07:23:22 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-23 07:25:19 PM

TheManofPA: Also:

For what it's worth, Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer Newsletter speculates that Batista is returning to win the 2014 Royal Rumble match and face Randy Orton for the WWE World Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania XXX.

Help us all if that is true.....help us all


I am prepared to mark out for a Batista reappearance. Bout damned time too.

/NPO in da hizzouse
 
2013-12-23 07:26:49 PM

Karate Explosion: [img.fark.net image 477x656]


I'd nail your wife
 
2013-12-23 07:29:44 PM

silgryphon: Karate Explosion: [img.fark.net image 477x656]

I'd nail your wife


static5.businessinsider.com

Just his wife?
 
2013-12-23 07:31:37 PM

silgryphon: Karate Explosion: [img.fark.net image 477x656]

I'd nail your wife


Uh... o_O... anyway, lulz

She is beautiful as are both your little girls KE!
 
2013-12-23 07:32:56 PM

silgryphon: Karate Explosion: [img.fark.net image 477x656]

I'd nail your wife


So would I. And I have. TWICE.
 
2013-12-23 07:33:08 PM

WHY IS THIS SHIAT IN THE SPORTS TAB?

GO EAGLES!

 
2013-12-23 07:33:16 PM

my lip balm addiction: TheManofPA: Also:

For what it's worth, Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer Newsletter speculates that Batista is returning to win the 2014 Royal Rumble match and face Randy Orton for the WWE World Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania XXX.

Help us all if that is true.....help us all

I am prepared to mark out for a Batista reappearance. Bout damned time too.

/NPO in da hizzouse


with all these comebacks and whatnot, i'm starting to get the sense that i ended up drifting away (the first time) because everybody i liked to watch got broken...  so i started switching channels more and more often, when i knew i wasn't gonna see one of my favorites back again... eventually found something else to watch, i guess... the second time was fairly straightforward, i moved out of the apartment that had cable and wwe games, dvds, pictures, etc plastered all over.  by the time i had cable access again, i worked monday nights anyway...
 
2013-12-23 07:33:52 PM
I am such a lightweight. I had a vanilla vodka and sprite an hour ago and now I have a headache
 
2013-12-23 07:34:27 PM

ShiningWizard: silgryphon: Karate Explosion: [img.fark.net image 477x656]

I'd nail your wife

Uh... o_O... anyway, lulz

She is beautiful as are both your little girls KE!


I'd nail you too SW
 
2013-12-23 07:35:02 PM

Dougie AXP: WHY IS THIS SHIAT IN THE SPORTS TAB?GO EAGLES!


EAGLES!
 
2013-12-23 07:35:18 PM

silgryphon: I am such a lightweight. I had a vanilla vodka and sprite an hour ago and now I have a headache


PUSSY
 
2013-12-23 07:35:33 PM

silgryphon: ShiningWizard: silgryphon: Karate Explosion: [img.fark.net image 477x656]

I'd nail your wife

Uh... o_O... anyway, lulz

She is beautiful as are both your little girls KE!

I'd nail you too SW


static5.businessinsider.com

That's more like it!
 
2013-12-23 07:35:55 PM

ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Idea from the FWC FB group:  You should PShop an award certificate or trophy for JBL, and we'll tweet it to him.  :D

Here ya go...

[i1263.photobucket.com image 523x654]


Just tweeted it to him!
 
2013-12-23 07:37:16 PM

Dougie AXP: silgryphon: I am such a lightweight. I had a vanilla vodka and sprite an hour ago and now I have a headache

PUSSY


Yes I do love pussy

Ask SW
 
2013-12-23 07:37:21 PM

Karate Explosion: [img.fark.net image 477x656]


A beautiful family there!  Merry Christmas to you all too!
 
2013-12-23 07:37:28 PM

Karate Explosion: [img.fark.net image 477x656]


That is adorable!
 
2013-12-23 07:37:59 PM
Whoa there Karate. Your not the ONLY fwc rookie of the year. I'm at work right now but I want to thank everyone for voting for NPO, CLENIS, Karate and myself. The NPO with brand recognition now. Lip Balm is taking charge of NPO tonight, Karate is second in command. I'll pop in later with the new Twitter members. NPO for LYFE.
 
2013-12-23 07:38:57 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Idea from the FWC FB group:  You should PShop an award certificate or trophy for JBL, and we'll tweet it to him.  :D

Here ya go...

[i1263.photobucket.com image 523x654]

Just tweeted it to him!


So, I have to assume my undisputed slammy win earns me some type of PS, yes?

what say you SW?
 
2013-12-23 07:39:43 PM
OK, fellas (and SW) come next week, I am taking myself to New York to pitch my idea to A&E of a new reality show to replace Duck Dynasty. Here's my sell pic:
img.fark.net
Follow the Buzzards Ducks
 
2013-12-23 07:39:47 PM
ARMBAR
 
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