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(XKCD)   XKCD sums up Buzzfeed perfectly   (xkcd.com) divider line 58
    More: Amusing, maths, BuzzFeed, xkcd, Dinosaur Comics  
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10801 clicks; posted to Geek » on 23 Dec 2013 at 10:21 AM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-23 10:24:44 AM  
(Featured Partner)
 
2013-12-23 10:32:40 AM  
They forgot "Headlines which have been on Fark for a month now and I still haven't clicked on"
 
2013-12-23 10:34:57 AM  
FIVE GRUMPYYY CAAAAAAAAATS!
 
2013-12-23 10:45:45 AM  
...and a pop-up ad over the crap!
 
2013-12-23 10:46:17 AM  
I think the first I heard of this phenomenon was in Cosmopolitan magazine: "5 things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm" and shiat like that.
 
2013-12-23 10:49:59 AM  
Yeah. Top shelf words no longer actually exist.

"Hey daddy, what does awesome mean?"
"Ordinary, every day things."
"What about amazing?"
"Something you can see anywhere, anytime."
"Oh. What about brilliant?"
"Mediocre, average, uninteresting."
 
2013-12-23 10:51:25 AM  

show me: I think the first I heard of this phenomenon was in Cosmopolitan magazine: "5 things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm" and shiat like that.


Buzzfeed is a more insipid mutation of this though. That Cosmo line wouldn't be enough for Buzzfeed.

It would be something like "Only 90s kids will remember these five unbelievable things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm!"
 
2013-12-23 11:01:49 AM  
I find it most appropriate that 3 links down is a buzzfeed link of "The 13 Most Annoying Words And Phrases On The Internet"
 
2013-12-23 11:17:32 AM  

Neanderthal: I find it most appropriate that 3 links down is a buzzfeed link of "The 13 Most Annoying Words And Phrases On The Internet"


1 through 13 - Anything appearing on Buzzfeed.
 
2013-12-23 11:27:47 AM  

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: It would be something like "Only 90s kids will remember these five unbelievable things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm!"


Oh, yeah, totally agree. I think they are even more out there than Cracked.
 
2013-12-23 11:32:20 AM  

show me: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: It would be something like "Only 90s kids will remember these five unbelievable things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm!"

Oh, yeah, totally agree. I think they are even more out there than Cracked.


I like Cracked. I always learn something, and some of the articles make me laugh.
 
2013-12-23 11:42:02 AM  
There is a pretty funny article in the Onion right now about buzzfeed
 
2013-12-23 11:43:06 AM  

soporific: show me: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: It would be something like "Only 90s kids will remember these five unbelievable things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm!"

Oh, yeah, totally agree. I think they are even more out there than Cracked.

I like Cracked. I always learn something, and some of the articles make me laugh.


"Always" is pushing it a bit... while they're often enjoyable, there'll be an article that pops up once in a while that is so stupid it makes you want to strangle the writer through the intertubes.
 
2013-12-23 11:44:33 AM  

asquian: Yeah. Top shelf words no longer actually exist.

"Hey daddy, what does awesome mean?"
"Ordinary, every day things."
"What about amazing?"
"Something you can see anywhere, anytime."
"Oh. What about brilliant?"
"Mediocre, average, uninteresting."


"Hero (n.)": someone who did something I like, no matter how trivial or expected

"Coward (n.)": someone who did something I don't like, probably involving children or women, no matter how much it risks going to jail or getting beaten to death by an angry mob

"Epic (adj.)": common-place

"Hack (v.)": accomplish a computer task that another person simply didn't think of, including simply searching for information on Google

"Ironic (adj.)": anything you want, so long as it isn't actually ironic
 
2013-12-23 11:46:59 AM  
The 9 sexiest dancing ladies ever (bonus: no Miley)
What these 8 milkmaids did will astound you
7 aww-inspiring pictures of swimming swans
The 6 craziest spots goose eggs have ever been found
What the Olympic rings actually mean
The four most beautiful bird calls (bonus: no Duck Dynasty)
Three fabulous chicken recipes from France.
Two turtles, two doves: The most heartwarming video ever.
It's what this partridge does in the pear tree that will leave you in stitches (bonus: no Shirley Jones)
 
2013-12-23 11:48:26 AM  

soporific: show me: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: It would be something like "Only 90s kids will remember these five unbelievable things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm!"

Oh, yeah, totally agree. I think they are even more out there than Cracked.

I like Cracked. I always learn something, and some of the articles make me laugh.


The only thing I don't like about Cracked is that once I get sucked into it's vortex I start clicking article after article and the next I know it's two farking hours later.
 
2013-12-23 11:57:02 AM  
I thought Buzzfeed could be summed up as "there was this thread on Reddit last week, so we're posting the top 20 comments from it with some gifs we googled"
 
2013-12-23 12:04:47 PM  

Flint Ironstag: They forgot "Headlines which have been on Fark for a month now and I still haven't clicked on"


asquian: Yeah. Top shelf words no longer actually exist.

"Hey daddy, what does awesome mean?"
"Ordinary, every day things."
"What about amazing?"
"Something you can see anywhere, anytime."
"Oh. What about brilliant?"
"Mediocre, average, uninteresting."


ArcadianRefugee: "Hero (n.)": someone who did something I like, no matter how trivial or expected

"Coward (n.)": someone who did something I don't like, probably involving children or women, no matter how much it risks going to jail or getting beaten to death by an angry mob

"Epic (adj.)": common-place

"Hack (v.)": accomplish a computer task that another person simply didn't think of, including simply searching for information on Google

"Ironic (adj.)": anything you want, so long as it isn't actually ironic


These, made me laugh quite loud at my desk. Well done all of you.
 
2013-12-23 12:15:42 PM  
Buzzfeed and the Bleacher Report can take any subject and turn it into a 20 page slideshow.
 
2013-12-23 12:26:25 PM  

show me: I think the first I heard of this phenomenon was in Cosmopolitan magazine: "5 things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm" and shiat like that.


Probaly the biggest objective difference, though, is Cosmo will only have 4 things. I first noticed this with a men's magazine. The headline said "25" but the article's own count only went up to 22. At least the people at Buzzfeed know how to count.
 
2013-12-23 12:37:07 PM  
All we need now are XKCDs for:

Opposing Views
Jezebel
Daily Fail
Slate
Salon

Get to it!
 
2013-12-23 12:46:00 PM  
Can someone please explain what Scribol is? It seems to be a link that goes to a link about a link that has a link to a slideshow. I get the click x30 = $$ part,  but I can never ever end up where I started from. Sometimes the original idea is not in the linked list.
 
2013-12-23 12:52:07 PM  

show me: I think the first I heard of this phenomenon was in Cosmopolitan magazine: "5 things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm" and shiat like that.


10 constitutional rights for all Americans
 
2013-12-23 12:53:48 PM  
bf animated gifs are like a list of punchlines with no jokes attached.
 
2013-12-23 01:20:08 PM  
 
2013-12-23 01:23:30 PM  
The phrasing used by BuzzFeed and scribol is backfiring, at least for me.  I've learned to recognize the style, and just ignore such links.  By trying to sound interesting, they've made themselves less interesting than they otherwise would be.

The modern Internet is all about annoying the reader, since that's the only way to survive.
 
2013-12-23 01:48:49 PM  

assalon5: Can someone please explain what Scribol is? It seems to be a link that goes to a link about a link that has a link to a slideshow.


Pretty much that but more links to links to yet more links that have nothing to do with what the first link is. I've taken to not clicking anything I see Scribol related. Another site like that is mgid.
 
2013-12-23 02:20:29 PM  

show me: soporific: show me: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: It would be something like "Only 90s kids will remember these five unbelievable things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm!"

Oh, yeah, totally agree. I think they are even more out there than Cracked.

I like Cracked. I always learn something, and some of the articles make me laugh.

The only thing I don't like about Cracked is that once I get sucked into it's vortex I start clicking article after article and the next I know it's two farking hours later.


Cracked was decent sometimes until they hired some social justice warriors to raise awareness about the patriarchy.
 
2013-12-23 02:27:17 PM  

Kiler: assalon5: Can someone please explain what Scribol is? It seems to be a link that goes to a link about a link that has a link to a slideshow.

Pretty much that but more links to links to yet more links that have nothing to do with what the first link is. I've taken to not clicking anything I see Scribol related. Another site like that is mgid.


And Gawker.
 
2013-12-23 02:32:20 PM  
Do buzzfeed writers get paid.

Because I could totally do that job. My first article "top 10 results from a GIS of the term 'yoga pants gif'"
 
2013-12-23 02:35:37 PM  

Arkanaut: soporific: show me: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: It would be something like "Only 90s kids will remember these five unbelievable things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm!"

Oh, yeah, totally agree. I think they are even more out there than Cracked.

I like Cracked. I always learn something, and some of the articles make me laugh.

"Always" is pushing it a bit... while they're often enjoyable, there'll be an article that pops up once in a while that is so stupid it makes you want to strangle the writer through the intertubes.


Seanbaby on Cracked is the guy that makes me want to dropkick a baby seal. Stick to the formula or be a better writer.
 
2013-12-23 02:40:07 PM  

skinink: Buzzfeed and the Bleacher Report can take any subject and turn it into a 20 page slideshow.


In my experience BuzzFeed has actually been good about keeping their content on one page (although that page would often take forever to load and blind you with a dozen blinking animated .gifs).  I give them credit for that. (Click to find out the one saving grace of BuzzFeed articles!)

I have script-blocking extensions on Chrome but I think I actually allowed BuzzFeed so I don't think that's what's protecting me from slideshows.  Incidentally I do block BleacherReport and I end up seeing their slideshows all on one page.
 
2013-12-23 02:43:29 PM  
I hope they do Opposing Views next.
 
2013-12-23 02:43:56 PM  

pedobearapproved: Do buzzfeed writers get paid.

Because I could totally do that job. My first article "top 10 results from a GIS of the term 'yoga pants gif'"


From what I hear, probably better than you or I do, and with better benefits.

And they don't steal from GIS -- most often it's from reddit.  This is a documented fact.
 
2013-12-23 03:37:11 PM  

show me: I think the first I heard of this phenomenon was in Cosmopolitan magazine: "5 things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm" and shiat like that.


Your post reminded me of this for some reason (might be NSFW)
 
2013-12-23 03:43:37 PM  

pedobearapproved: Do buzzfeed writers get paid.

Because I could totally do that job. My first article "top 10 results from a GIS of the term 'yoga pants gif'"


You mean "These top 10 weird tricks you should never do in yoga pants if you're a nineties kid will break your heart."
 
2013-12-23 03:47:02 PM  

Myria: The phrasing used by BuzzFeed and scribol is backfiring, at least for me.  I've learned to recognize the style, and just ignore such links.  By trying to sound interesting, they've made themselves less interesting than they otherwise would be.

The modern Internet is all about annoying the reader, since that's the only way to survive.


Same here. I'm way past sick of the formula of "Incredibly vague headline that tells you nothing about the article but tries to get you to click to find out." Fark you guys. Most of those "articles" are crap and it's gotten wayyyyyy past the point where I just don't care enough to click anymore. Go back to telling me what's in the farking articleand then maybe I'll want to click and read it.

It's like selling a box labeled "MYSTERY ITEM- WE PROMISE YOU WANT IT!" in a retail store. People will buy it just to see what it is, but now it's at the point where sites like Buzzfeed try to make every single item in the store have the Mystery Box exterior. Oh, and the stuff inside the boxes has a reputation for being crap. Pretty soon everyone would be skipping that store entirely, because we'd rather know what we're getting and the thrill of the mystery has been worn away.
 
2013-12-23 03:55:23 PM  
pedobearapproved: Seanbaby on Cracked is the guy that makes me want to dropkick a baby seal. Stick to the formula or be a better writer.

I dunno... He has his own formula that works for me. It's usually along the lines of "[this absurd thing I'm writing about] would be like [something potentially offensive] but instead of [something a little offensive] it's actually [something even more offensive]." I like it.

Example: 
"Getting an object in Skyrim to lay at rest in its intended location is like trying to take a team photo at a Parkinson's support group."
 
2013-12-23 04:11:08 PM  

This Looks Fun: pedobearapproved: Seanbaby on Cracked is the guy that makes me want to dropkick a baby seal. Stick to the formula or be a better writer.

I dunno... He has his own formula that works for me. It's usually along the lines of "[this absurd thing I'm writing about] would be like [something potentially offensive] but instead of [something a little offensive] it's actually [something even more offensive]." I like it.

Example: 
"Getting an object in Skyrim to lay at rest in its intended location is like trying to take a team photo at a Parkinson's support group."



Slate just ran a bunch of trash-talk articles about various pundits, in the style of the relevant pundit.  Maybe you could sell Cracked an article that mimics the style of their own writers.
 
2013-12-23 04:18:10 PM  
In the magazine world these things are known by the term "listicle". I am sorry to say that I am not making that up.
 
2013-12-23 04:20:24 PM  

SavageWombat: This Looks Fun: pedobearapproved: Seanbaby on Cracked is the guy that makes me want to dropkick a baby seal. Stick to the formula or be a better writer.

I dunno... He has his own formula that works for me. It's usually along the lines of "[this absurd thing I'm writing about] would be like [something potentially offensive] but instead of [something a little offensive] it's actually [something even more offensive]." I like it.

Example: 
"Getting an object in Skyrim to lay at rest in its intended location is like trying to take a team photo at a Parkinson's support group."


Slate just ran a bunch of trash-talk articles about various pundits, in the style of the relevant pundit.  Maybe you could sell Cracked an article that mimics the style of their own writers.


Ha! The only thing stopping me from trying, honestly, is a lack of time and motivation. It would be pretty fun though. And if I was looking to do some entertainment writing, it would be a string foot in the door.
 
2013-12-23 04:22:28 PM  

red5ish: In the magazine world these things are known by the term "listicle". I am sorry to say that I am not making that up.


I should say not!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listicle
 
2013-12-23 04:23:58 PM  

This Looks Fun: SavageWombat: This Looks Fun: pedobearapproved: Seanbaby on Cracked is the guy that makes me want to dropkick a baby seal. Stick to the formula or be a better writer.

I dunno... He has his own formula that works for me. It's usually along the lines of "[this absurd thing I'm writing about] would be like [something potentially offensive] but instead of [something a little offensive] it's actually [something even more offensive]." I like it.

Example: 
"Getting an object in Skyrim to lay at rest in its intended location is like trying to take a team photo at a Parkinson's support group."


Slate just ran a bunch of trash-talk articles about various pundits, in the style of the relevant pundit.  Maybe you could sell Cracked an article that mimics the style of their own writers.

Ha! The only thing stopping me from trying, honestly, is a lack of time and motivation. It would be pretty fun though. And if I was looking to do some entertainment writing, it would be a string foot in the door.


I'm actually in the middle of writing an article for Cracked. Seanbaby is my favorite of their regulars.
 
2013-12-23 04:33:32 PM  

Arkanaut: soporific: show me: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: It would be something like "Only 90s kids will remember these five unbelievable things he can do to give you the ultimate orgasm!"

Oh, yeah, totally agree. I think they are even more out there than Cracked.

I like Cracked. I always learn something, and some of the articles make me laugh.

"Always" is pushing it a bit... while they're often enjoyable, there'll be an article that pops up once in a while that is so stupid it makes you want to strangle the writer through the intertubes.


Pretty much this.  Cracked runs the whole range.  Some articles are quite good, a few are terrible, but none are remotely as insipid as buzzfeed.  Buzzfeed is everything parasitic and vacuous about the Internet.

While Seanbaby is an acquired taste, the man does have a gift for words.  He's their only columnist who occasionally assembles a phrase that gives true me laughter paralysis.
 
2013-12-23 04:35:15 PM  

assalon5: Can someone please explain what Scribol is? It seems to be a link that goes to a link about a link that has a link to a slideshow. I get the click x30 = $$ part,  but I can never ever end up where I started from. Sometimes the original idea is not in the linked list.


Never click anything scribol.  Ever.  Just don't.  It's just an ad-serving chain of clicks.
 
2013-12-23 04:36:27 PM  

Fireproof: Seanbaby is my favorite of their regulars.


Me too, but my critique stands.
 
2013-12-23 05:01:00 PM  
What's a Buzzfeed?


/no, seriously
 
2013-12-23 05:04:42 PM  
Nothing on Jonah Peretti's absurd notion that what he's running is a legitimate news site?

I mean, Vice can barely say that, but Buttfeed? C'mon.
 
2013-12-23 06:23:09 PM  
Gods, XKCD sucks.

I really don't understand why people like this crap-on-a-cracker comic strip.
 
2013-12-23 07:01:26 PM  

ZeroCorpse: Gods, XKCD sucks.

I really don't understand why people like this crap-on-a-cracker comic strip.


Because your tastes are not the only CORRECT tastes in the world, believe it or not.
 
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