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(Mother Jones)   Challenge de Fark: Could cocktails protect you from getting sick? Do your best work and report back here   (motherjones.com) divider line 60
    More: Interesting, Oregon Health & Science University  
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1441 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Dec 2013 at 7:20 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-22 06:36:36 PM
Bourbon. Apply orally, in 2oz doses on the half hour, until symptoms subside or sleep overtakes you. It might not cure you, but for damn sure, you'll care a lot less about being sick.
 
2013-12-22 06:40:11 PM
I'm on it
 
2013-12-22 07:25:27 PM
If I'm too drunk to leave the house, I'm not exposed to the illnesses of others!
 
2013-12-22 07:26:03 PM
I always go to Mother Jones for my health & wellness news.
 
2013-12-22 07:26:36 PM
Still running tests.  I'll have to get back to you on this.
 
2013-12-22 07:27:04 PM
Another drunk monkey article?
 
2013-12-22 07:28:36 PM
I'm applying for a research grant.
 
2013-12-22 07:30:33 PM
If punching the mail man counts as free of the flu, then it works.
 
2013-12-22 07:34:06 PM
Imma fark ou in half Subbs c'mere.

I'm all immune n shiat.

Fukn never got scurvy NOT ONCE LOL thnx screwballs.

Whisky.
 
2013-12-22 07:35:00 PM
clutchmag.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-12-22 07:36:48 PM

kptchris:


Word.
 
2013-12-22 07:38:39 PM

SquiggsIN: I'm better equipped to answer a question like :

How many Molotov cocktails per hour would be required to continuously repel a zombie horde of x strength in a circle of y radius?


African or European?
 
2013-12-22 07:40:53 PM

Danger Avoid Death: SquiggsIN: I'm better equipped to answer a question like :

How many Molotov cocktails per hour would be required to continuously repel a zombie horde of x strength in a circle of y radius?

African or European?


Whatever.

A 5oz Molotov cocktail cannot take out a circle of zombies. Even if you grip it by the husk.
 
2013-12-22 07:41:08 PM
So who's going to volunteer for the control group?
 
2013-12-22 07:41:49 PM
If you mix glutenous amounts of cocktail food with glutenous amounts of cocktails........you'll get sick.
 
2013-12-22 07:42:45 PM
To do a fair unbiased test I decided to test all types, I had three Gin Martinis, 4 vodka Screwdrivers, 4 rum and cokes, 3 bourbon and sevens, and 3 tequila sunrises in about an hour and a half. I can tell you right now it didn't work. I do not feel as well as when I started, I had only drank a couple glasses of wine at that point.
 
2013-12-22 07:49:58 PM
I have a 1 1/2 year old Samsung Galaxy S II. Two weeks ago, it suddenly started discharging battery like crazy-I'd estimate approximately 1-2% every 10 minutes or so. Thought the problem was my battery, so I got a replacement one, but the problem hasn't stopped. I have no idea what is a lot when it comes to using up memory on a phone so any help troubleshooting is appreciated.

Android Version is 4.0.4

Under running applications:

Settings 21MB
AccuWeather 8.4MB
Google Services 9.3MB
Facebook 46MB
Messenger 28MB
System Updates 2.6MB
com.samsung.internal 2.0MB
Voicemail 6.2MB
Voice command 6.5MB
Voice command 17MB
Sprint ID 2.9MB
Smart Device Manager 3.2MB
AccuWeather.com 4.7MB
Google Services 10MB
Media Hub 3.0MB
Sprint Connections Optimizer 6.7MB
MAPServiceSamsung 2.2MB
Digital clock 2.6MB
Exchange Services 2.7MB
Task Manager 7.6MB
Swype 30MB

Obviously FB and Messenger are taking up a lot of memory, but they were working just fine without crazy battery drain until two weeks ago. Could it be spyware/virus?
 
2013-12-22 07:51:07 PM
Our homemade margaritas have lots of Vitamin C!

Margaritas
1 cup lime juice
1 cup Triple Sec
1 ½ cups Tequila
½ cup sugar
¼ cup water


Combine sugar and water in microwavable container. Cook on high for one minute or more to boil. Stir well to dissolve all sugar. It should be like a clear syrup with no sugar visible.
Combine all ingredients and stir or shake well.
Best served over crushed ice.
 
2013-12-22 07:51:43 PM
Whatever happened to the old-school bloody mary? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, shower, toilet, Starbucks, church, voting booth, therapist, AA, that one goth chick's apartment, and that other goth chick's apartment, that one time in Canada.
 
2013-12-22 07:52:31 PM

Your Hind Brain: Whatever happened to the old-school bloody mary? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, shower, toilet, Starbucks, church, voting booth, therapist, AA, that one goth chick's apartment, and that other goth chick's apartment, that one time in Canada.


I miss you.
 
2013-12-22 07:53:02 PM
Yes, it kills bacteria.  I am honestly never sick (physically).  Mentally....that's another story.....
 
2013-12-22 07:55:24 PM
mewanty.net
 
2013-12-22 07:57:31 PM
I'm drinking my 4th (or 5th?) cocktail this night so I'm looking forward to get a healthy dose of kicks out of this thread.

/Johny + Martini + Coke
/last time I was sick was in January
/maybe I didn't drink enough then, I need to improve
/dnrtfa, but alcohol is antibacterial, that's all I know
 
2013-12-22 07:59:19 PM

Beatlefreak: I have a 1 1/2 year old Samsung Galaxy S II. Two weeks ago, it suddenly started discharging battery like crazy-I'd estimate approximately 1-2% every 10 minutes or so. Thought the problem was my battery, so I got a replacement one, but the problem hasn't stopped. I have no idea what is a lot when it comes to using up memory on a phone so any help troubleshooting is appreciated.

Android Version is 4.0.4

Under running applications:

Settings 21MB
AccuWeather 8.4MB
Google Services 9.3MB
Facebook 46MB
Messenger 28MB
System Updates 2.6MB
com.samsung.internal 2.0MB
Voicemail 6.2MB
Voice command 6.5MB
Voice command 17MB
Sprint ID 2.9MB
Smart Device Manager 3.2MB
AccuWeather.com 4.7MB
Google Services 10MB
Media Hub 3.0MB
Sprint Connections Optimizer 6.7MB
MAPServiceSamsung 2.2MB
Digital clock 2.6MB
Exchange Services 2.7MB
Task Manager 7.6MB
Swype 30MB

Obviously FB and Messenger are taking up a lot of memory, but they were working just fine without crazy battery drain until two weeks ago. Could it be spyware/virus?


Go home, you're drunk.
 
2013-12-22 08:01:12 PM

Beatlefreak: I have a 1 1/2 year old Samsung Galaxy S II. Two weeks ago, it suddenly started discharging battery like crazy-I'd estimate approximately 1-2% every 10 minutes or so. Thought the problem was my battery, so I got a replacement one, but the problem hasn't stopped. I have no idea what is a lot when it comes to using up memory on a phone so any help troubleshooting is appreciated.

Android Version is 4.0.4

Under running applications:

Settings 21MB
AccuWeather 8.4MB
Google Services 9.3MB
Facebook 46MB
Messenger 28MB
System Updates 2.6MB
com.samsung.internal 2.0MB
Voicemail 6.2MB
Voice command 6.5MB
Voice command 17MB
Sprint ID 2.9MB
Smart Device Manager 3.2MB
AccuWeather.com 4.7MB
Google Services 10MB
Media Hub 3.0MB
Sprint Connections Optimizer 6.7MB
MAPServiceSamsung 2.2MB
Digital clock 2.6MB
Exchange Services 2.7MB
Task Manager 7.6MB
Swype 30MB

Obviously FB and Messenger are taking up a lot of memory, but they were working just fine without crazy battery drain until two weeks ago. Could it be spyware/virus?


You win.
 
2013-12-22 08:01:55 PM

megarian: Your Hind Brain: Whatever happened to the old-school bloody mary? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, shower, toilet, Starbucks, church, voting booth, therapist, AA, that one goth chick's apartment, and that other goth chick's apartment, that one time in Canada.

I miss you.


No. No you don't. We weren't good for each other, babe. I still have that vial though.


/I keed!
 
2013-12-22 08:03:24 PM

Your Hind Brain: megarian: Your Hind Brain: Whatever happened to the old-school bloody mary? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, shower, toilet, Starbucks, church, voting booth, therapist, AA, that one goth chick's apartment, and that other goth chick's apartment, that one time in Canada.

I miss you.

No. No you don't. We weren't good for each other, babe. I still have that vial though.


/I keed!


O_O

I still have your vial.
 
2013-12-22 08:09:06 PM

SquiggsIN: Danger Avoid Death: SquiggsIN: I'm better equipped to answer a question like :

How many Molotov cocktails per hour would be required to continuously repel a zombie horde of x strength in a circle of y radius?

African or European?

zombies or Molotovs?


I don't know ...

...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh .....
 
2013-12-22 08:10:22 PM
Tooth extraction recovery:

Rinse mouth with 1oz. bourbon, swallow.

Repeat as necessary.
 
2013-12-22 08:18:28 PM

SquiggsIN: twistedmetal: glutenous

I do not think it means what you think it means.


Farking auto correct........
 
2013-12-22 08:21:13 PM

megarian: Your Hind Brain: megarian: Your Hind Brain: Whatever happened to the old-school bloody mary? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, shower, toilet, Starbucks, church, voting booth, therapist, AA, that one goth chick's apartment, and that other goth chick's apartment, that one time in Canada.

I miss you.

No. No you don't. We weren't good for each other, babe. I still have that vial though.


/I keed!

O_O

I still have your vial.


Promise me you won't paint with it.

/let's get back to the topic of booze, shall we?
 
2013-12-22 08:23:00 PM
I was drunk pretty much continuously from 1990 until 2008 and I never ever got sick beyond the sniffles for a couple of days maybe once a year (which was quickly remedied by switching to greyhounds for the duration).  I always imagined my blood was toxic to any viruses or bacteria that may cause me to be sick.

Unfortunately it did give me pancreatitis and liver damage so there's that.
 
2013-12-22 08:33:49 PM
I drink several Gin and Tonics every day, as a preventative, and I'm happy to say I'm still malaria-free after all these years.
 
2013-12-22 08:34:27 PM
Kill the germs with alcohol, where they live. I.e.: inside you. Sounds delicious like a plan.
 
2013-12-22 08:35:31 PM

kptchris: [clutchmag.s3.amazonaws.com image 457x349]


Always wondered what they meant by "purple drank".
 
2013-12-22 08:37:54 PM

MrBallou: I drink several Gin and Tonics every day, as a preventative, and I'm happy to say I'm still malaria-free after all these years.


That's the only way I keep the Ancient Ones from destroying this planet. You're welcome.

/Seriously
//Seriously about to grab another beer.
 
2013-12-22 08:39:16 PM
This is a repeat. I think it's actually the exact same article. Too lazy to look it up.
 
2013-12-22 08:47:09 PM

Jick Jackson: I was drunk pretty much continuously from 1990 until 2008 and I never ever got sick beyond the sniffles for a couple of days maybe once a year (which was quickly remedied by switching to greyhounds for the duration).  I always imagined my blood was toxic to any viruses or bacteria that may cause me to be sick.

Unfortunately it did give me pancreatitis and liver damage so there's that


With exception to the years (1995 - 2009) I'm singing the same tune

/Dx'd with cirrhosis in '09
 
2013-12-22 08:56:20 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-22 09:02:59 PM

SDRR: Beatlefreak: I have a 1 1/2 year old Samsung Galaxy S II. Two weeks ago, it suddenly started discharging battery like crazy-I'd estimate approximately 1-2% every 10 minutes or so. Thought the problem was my battery, so I got a replacement one, but the problem hasn't stopped. I have no idea what is a lot when it comes to using up memory on a phone so any help troubleshooting is appreciated.

Android Version is 4.0.4

Under running applications:

Settings 21MB
AccuWeather 8.4MB
Google Services 9.3MB
Facebook 46MB
Messenger 28MB
System Updates 2.6MB
com.samsung.internal 2.0MB
Voicemail 6.2MB
Voice command 6.5MB
Voice command 17MB
Sprint ID 2.9MB
Smart Device Manager 3.2MB
AccuWeather.com 4.7MB
Google Services 10MB
Media Hub 3.0MB
Sprint Connections Optimizer 6.7MB
MAPServiceSamsung 2.2MB
Digital clock 2.6MB
Exchange Services 2.7MB
Task Manager 7.6MB
Swype 30MB

Obviously FB and Messenger are taking up a lot of memory, but they were working just fine without crazy battery drain until two weeks ago. Could it be spyware/virus?

Go home, you're drunk.


Bawhahahaha.....
 
2013-12-22 09:16:09 PM
Working on it!
 
2013-12-22 09:28:30 PM

Danger Avoid Death: [mewanty.net image 400x300]


I have a pretty good story that starts with me tossing one, though.
 
2013-12-22 09:30:19 PM
I was running a low grade fever of 99.5 at work on Friday (they send you home once you hit 100.0), and after 5 Mexican Martinis....BAM.....I was good to go!

/meaning no more fever
//I think I told my boss I loved him bwahahahaha!
 
2013-12-22 09:42:43 PM
Sure as hell gonna try.
 
2013-12-22 09:56:57 PM
I'll be the control. I'm a good candidate because I'm a dad AND at a University.
 
2013-12-22 09:58:38 PM
Ypude not pick. I bring you drum fettr. Did I ice tell you vouf the thms I met my best friends ? We were out BOOJ DUNKINg on a thus day. And what a tjeia guy? This uguy with a pool cire stick rhingy in a . . A . . A bar? Whatswirh that?

Fwel king healthy though!
 
2013-12-22 10:19:53 PM
Three or four time per week I push a huge bowl full of vegetables thru my juicer. Then I add vodka, diet schweppes tonic, and ice. Alcohol is a solvent; it helps me absorb the phytonutrients before they're destroyed by harsh digestive enzymes. Key ingredients are beets and kale. Not only do I not get hangovers, I actually wake up early feeling energized and ready to go.
 
2013-12-22 10:31:40 PM
Vodak Tonics keep me from getting malaria. True story.
 
2013-12-22 10:32:02 PM
Whiskey+honey+warm tea+lemon it'll cure what ails you.
 
2013-12-22 10:33:18 PM

Well Armed Sheep: Vodak Tonics keep me from getting malaria. True story.


And Bloody marys are a great way to get a serving of vegetables.
 
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