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(Yahoo)   The real explanation of Santa and the red nosed reindeer. And yes it involves mushrooms. Why do you ask?   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 34
    More: Amusing, Santa Claus, hallucinogenic mushrooms, red suits, Clement Clarke Moore, tribes, symbiotic relationships, Norse gods, reindeers  
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3743 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Dec 2013 at 8:15 AM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-22 08:17:40 AM
I'll just leave this here ....

SMBC
 
2013-12-22 08:22:00 AM
The whole thing is hogwash.  Red suits were largely an invention of the Coca-Cola Company, for instance.
 
2013-12-22 08:25:10 AM
He knows when you are sleeping,

He knows when you're on the can,

He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.

You'd better not breathe, you'd better not move,

You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.

Santa Claus is gunning you down!
 
2013-12-22 08:29:02 AM
Copy cats from the Santa Muerte cult which should involve peyote, does protect the gheys from bad fashion mistakes.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-22 08:42:18 AM
Or, Robert L. May could have created Rudolph in 1939 as an assignment to create a new coloring book for Montgomery Ward.

yes, I'm hopelessly dull and geeky.
 
2013-12-22 08:42:19 AM
Yeah, magic dust, y'know? He used ta give a little bit to the reindeer, a Little bit to Santa Claus, a little bit more for Santa Claus, a little bit more...
 
2013-12-22 08:42:20 AM
 
2013-12-22 08:43:04 AM
This seems legit.
 
2013-12-22 08:45:02 AM

Badgers: Or this.


I don't know what that is, but it's ten kinds of awesome.
 
2013-12-22 08:49:34 AM
"We all are one and everything is one..."
 
2013-12-22 08:52:06 AM

SomeTexan: The whole thing is hogwash.  Red suits were largely an invention of the Coca-Cola Company, for instance.


And Rudolph was created by Robert May while he worked for Montgomery Ward in the late 1930's. It has nothing to do with ancient shamans. It's a modern addition to the tale. The part about the mushroom ornaments is true, but mushrooms were generally used as a motif in decorations. Old kitchen towels sometimes had mushroom prints on them.
 
2013-12-22 08:52:43 AM
Article undoes itself halfway through: "Pfister made it clear that the connection between modern-day Christmas and the ancestral practice of eating mushrooms is a coincidence, and he doesn't know about any direct link."
 
2013-12-22 08:53:42 AM

LonMead: Or, Robert L. May could have created Rudolph in 1939 as an assignment to create a new coloring book for Montgomery Ward.

yes, I'm hopelessly dull and geeky.


Ah, you beat me to it. But yes, you'd think people would bother to check this stuff out even slightly before immediately jumping to the conspiracy theory.
 
2013-12-22 08:54:54 AM
How did these dumb hippies get air time? I'm glad the article pointed out where experts told them they were wrong on air.
 
2013-12-22 08:56:07 AM
Red nosed reindeer? I would have guessed cocaine.
 
2013-12-22 08:57:03 AM

ambercat: LonMead: Or, Robert L. May could have created Rudolph in 1939 as an assignment to create a new coloring book for Montgomery Ward.

yes, I'm hopelessly dull and geeky.

Ah, you beat me to it. But yes, you'd think people would bother to check this stuff out even slightly before immediately jumping to the conspiracy theory.


They didn't jump. High people don't exercise.

To be fair, the only time I did mushrooms was Christmas. The lights were so PRETTY.
 
2013-12-22 08:59:25 AM

Relic84: Article undoes itself halfway through: "Pfister made it clear that the connection between modern-day Christmas and the ancestral practice of eating mushrooms is a coincidence, and he doesn't know about any direct link."


Derp. They grow during the rest of the year, and at wintertime they're ready.
 
2013-12-22 09:19:06 AM

SomeTexan: The whole thing is hogwash.  Red suits were largely an invention of the Coca-Cola Company, for instance.


False.
 
2013-12-22 09:29:06 AM
Bull-shiat. Stopped reading at #3:

Reindeer are common in Siberia and northern Europe, and seek out these hallucinogenic fungi, as the area's human inhabitants have also been known to do. Donald Pfister, a Harvard University biologist who studies fungi, suggests that Siberian tribesmen who ingested fly agaric may have hallucinated that the grazing reindeer were flying.

Methinks these academics are "studying fungi" a little too much, and should maybe study some damn literature.
 
2013-12-22 09:40:44 AM
Wow.  That was a pretty good study in ex-post-facto rationalization, right there.
 
2013-12-22 09:52:58 AM

iron de havilland: SomeTexan: The whole thing is hogwash.  Red suits were largely an invention of the Coca-Cola Company, for instance.

False.


I don't regard Snopes as an authority on anything.  Santa Claus and variations like Father Christmas and St. Nicholas had attire typical for the class of people he represented.  Sometimes, there was a greatcoat type thing and it was sometime red.  While Coke didn't invent the image fully formed, they definitely solidified it in the minds of everyone everywhere with their ad campaigns, and today, people think of nothing else but Coke's Santa.

True.
 
2013-12-22 10:09:32 AM
"Joooohn Pierpont Morgan
Had a very shiny n-" BEAT BEAT THUMP BEAT BEAT

http://www.fordham.edu/images/academics/programs/honors_history/lb%2 0j p%203.jpg
 
2013-12-22 10:54:02 AM
Stay away from Rudolf. He's a mean drunk. Santa must have been high on 'shrooms when he hired him.

Olive, the Other Reindeer, was the one who had to tell him that he couldn't play in the Reindeer Games because he failed the drug test, and poor thing, she still walks with a limp. If it weren't for the fact that only female reindeer keep their horns in the Winter*, she might have been killed.

*True. Very embarassing. It means that Santa's Team are entirely female most of the time. Reindeer don't do mixed sleigh teams. Except for that-biatch Rudolf, who sometimes works with the girls on account of his "glow". Whatever it is, Santa seems to partake freely because he often starts off with a "glow" himself, even before his first glass of Schnapps.
 
2013-12-22 11:05:35 AM
Spot my intentional spelling mistake.

I did that to elude copyright infringment and slander lawsuits. (It's a good cover story and I'm going to stick to it like barley candy to a new angora sweater.
 
2013-12-22 11:13:52 AM

SomeTexan: iron de havilland: SomeTexan: The whole thing is hogwash.  Red suits were largely an invention of the Coca-Cola Company, for instance.

False.

I don't regard Snopes as an authority on anything.  Santa Claus and variations like Father Christmas and St. Nicholas had attire typical for the class of people he represented.  Sometimes, there was a greatcoat type thing and it was sometime red.  While Coke didn't invent the image fully formed, they definitely solidified it in the minds of everyone everywhere with their ad campaigns, and today, people think of nothing else but Coke's Santa.


The colours are widely thought to derive from the original Saint Nicholas, who was the Bishop of Myra in the 4th Century. Red and white were the hues of traditional bishop robes, although some historians argue that he originally dressed in different colours.


True.

Whatever.
 
2013-12-22 11:25:45 AM
Christmas is just a made-up weapon in the Christmas Wars between the Commies, Jews and Catholics (Evil) on one side and the Elder Gods (Good) on the other, the Elder Gods being, of course, Chthulu, Montgomery Ward, Coca-Cola, Macy's Department Store, Republican Jaysus, etc.

The Roman Catholic Church (Evil) got off to a good start with the Nativity story. They seized a lot of ground from the Pagans (trees, holly, Solstice, Saturnalia, Yule logs, Wassail, etc.). But the Elder Gods fought back ferociously and captured Saint Nicholas, the patron saint of children, travellers, Russia, merchants, thieves and highway safety, formerly known as the God Mercury. Mercury was conflated (you do not want this to happen to you) with Siberian winter gods and Saint Nicholas of Myra to form Father Christmas, which the Roman Catholic Church recaptured and transformed into a symbol of giving and sacrifice.

But the Elder Gods went to work on Father Christmas and used all their wiles to turn him into the Santa Claus, patron saint of excessive consumerism.

The Roman Catholic Church continues to preach anti-consumerist communism (see Pope Francis for details) but the Elder Gods still wage War on Christmas from within by way of the Culture Wars, aka the Second War of the States, the Third American Civil War, or the War that Dare Not Speak It's Name (the South Only).

I recommend you pray to Buddha, Jesus and Spongebob to protect you and your kith, kin, and kine against the battle between the RC holy days and the Elder God's Christmas. (The difference between the holy days and Christmas being that there must be only one.) All other holidays of this season are officially down the memory hole until the Elder Gods are successful in retaking Christmas for their very own tool of domination, exploitation, greed and mind-numbing old-timey commercial Christmas jingles. You know the ones I mean. Shudder.

If you rebel against your corporate masters (Good) and embrace Papistical Communism (Christianity, Evil), they will throw you in the really strong Jingle Jail.

My favourite X-mas story as you may have guessed, is the one with Invader Zim trying to take over the world by disguising himself as Santa. It's the real story of Christmas. The Devil has been wearing the guise of Christ for two thousand years now, regardless of which side of the Christmas Wars win, it is going to be a victory for Satan.

Christmas has nothing to do with Christ whatsoever, or else it would be celebrated quietly and with dignity, love, peace, charity, kindness, tolerance and faith, PRIVATELY, AT HOME, AND IN CHURCH, NOT IN THE MARKETPLACE AND CITY HALL.
 
2013-12-22 11:35:03 AM

Tom_Slick: Yeah, magic dust, y'know? He used ta give a little bit to the reindeer, a Little bit to Santa Claus, a little bit more for Santa Claus, a little bit more...


Hehe, I haven't listened to that yet this year -- thanks for the reminder!
 
2013-12-22 12:17:28 PM

Badgers: Or this.


Badgers, mushrooms... something's missing...
 
2013-12-22 12:34:36 PM
Mushrooms for opening presents are fun.

Gotta do the parents presents first and get those calls done before they really kick in though
 
2013-12-22 12:38:40 PM

LordOfThePings: Badgers: Or this.

Badgers, mushrooms... something's missing...


i.imgur.com

/Hopefully won't be deemed NSFW.
//Speak to you all again in 24 hours if it is.
 
2013-12-22 01:15:24 PM

iron de havilland: /Hopefully won't be deemed NSFW.
//Speak to you all again in 24 hours if it is.


Modmins, that makes my underoos feel funny!

When in doubt, sauerkraut.
 
2013-12-22 01:38:33 PM
Obligatory
www.skeptically.org
 
2013-12-22 01:56:00 PM

Tom_Slick: Yeah, magic dust, y'know? He used ta give a little bit to the reindeer, a Little bit to Santa Claus, a little bit more for Santa Claus, a little bit more...


Cheech and Chong made more sense then so many others

he went underground man
 
2013-12-22 02:22:27 PM
mushroom mushroom....
api.ning.com
 
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