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(Daily Mail)   A woman dying of cancer writes a letter secretly and gives it to a friend to mail when her husband finds love again. Two years later the letter is mailed to a radio station and then it gets really dusty   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 69
    More: Cool, ovarian cancer  
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18408 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Dec 2013 at 6:23 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-22 01:52:53 AM
The dust is strong with this one...
 
2013-12-22 05:07:24 AM
i.imgur.com

Extremely dusty. Get out while you still can.
 
2013-12-22 05:56:49 AM
If I knew I was going to die soon, I dont think I could be unselfish about it.  It would take a very special person.
 
2013-12-22 06:27:10 AM
That is some seriously twisted passive aggressive sh*t.
 
2013-12-22 06:27:22 AM
Thanks subby. Thanks a lot.

www.woodard247.com
 
2013-12-22 06:35:47 AM
Farking with his life from beyond the grave....give it a rest you nattering twat.
 
2013-12-22 06:36:18 AM
Dear XXXX,

There are no three-ways in Heaven. Consider your ass haunted.

Your (formerly) loving wife,
XXXX
 
2013-12-22 06:43:42 AM
Subby I don't like you:( damned dusty around here.

/all you snarky farkers suck it, you wish you could be half so magnanimous in life as this woman was in death.

//I wish I could too.

///tissues needed bleh
 
2013-12-22 06:44:16 AM
She was married to a radio station?
 
2013-12-22 06:52:43 AM

deansnose: Farking with his life from beyond the grave....give it a rest you nattering twat.


For the kids and the husband, the first wife will always be "there", regardless.

For the 2nd wife, though, she has to deal with the fact that the first wife asserted her presence in a way that's hard to ignore.

If you are ever struck by a terminal illness and really feel the need to communicate to your spouse's 2nd marriage someday, a statement or letter to your spouse saying you approve is enough,with a request to treat the medical staff that helped you. Don't be a jerk and assert yourself in the future marriage especially when there are kids involved who are going to have a hard enough time with assimilating the new parent.
 
2013-12-22 06:58:07 AM

yousaywut: Subby I don't like you:( damned dusty around here.

/all you snarky farkers suck it, you wish you could be half so magnanimous in life as this woman was in death.

//I wish I could too.

///tissues needed bleh



Meh, it's a selfish act on her part. The real selfless act is to back away, discuss it rationally while you're still alive, and give your spouse the emotional room to start over again. We don't hear about those selfless cases though, just about the dead mom looming over the new marriage.
 
2013-12-22 07:01:42 AM
True contents of the letter:

"You farking man whore! I hope every time you fark her you see my dead rotting cancer face!"
 
2013-12-22 07:06:15 AM
Wow.  No pressure on the new wife at all.  Way to set the bar high.
 
2013-12-22 07:16:00 AM

yousaywut: magnanimous


www.powerpivotpro.com
 
2013-12-22 07:17:39 AM

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Meh, it's a selfish act on her part. The real selfless act is to back away, discuss it rationally while you're still alive, and give your spouse the emotional room to start over again. We don't hear about those selfless cases though, just about the dead mom looming over the new marriage.


My husband's first wife (and mother of his two children) also died of ovarian cancer. Through her two children (25 and 28), she will always 'loom' - to some degree - over this family. It simply can not be avoided.

Ovarian cancer is positively monstrous. I can't wrap my noggin around the emotions that are felt in such an illness. I can't judge the woman in the article for wanting to leave something positive behind after her death. I do think, however, it took a tremendous amount of personal strength.
 
2013-12-22 07:18:56 AM
I'm on both sides here. I blubbered, tissues, etc. But then felt for the new wife having been put in that situation.

My hope is that the friend who mailed the letter knew the new wife would be cool with it all.
 
2013-12-22 07:19:32 AM

yousaywut: /all you snarky farkers suck it, you wish you could be half so magnanimous in life as this woman was in death.


Also, how do we know about it?  Because that allegedly magnanimous dead woman had sent the letter to a newspaper to publish.  If you don't see that as f*cked up, then you might just be able to happily survive a string of failed relationships with the shallow, spiteful, and terminally ill.
 
2013-12-22 07:22:51 AM
am i the only one calling bullshiat here?

nice try new wife.
 
2013-12-22 07:23:36 AM

Bob The Nob: My hope is that the friend who mailed the letter knew the new wife would be cool with it all.


i1.ytimg.com

BEST INTENTIONS?
 
2013-12-22 07:25:09 AM

thamike: yousaywut: /all you snarky farkers suck it, you wish you could be half so magnanimous in life as this woman was in death.

Also, how do we know about it?  Because that allegedly magnanimous dead woman had sent the letter to a newspaper to publish.  If you don't see that as f*cked up, then you might just be able to happily survive a string of failed relationships with the shallow, spiteful, and terminally ill.


well that and the 'also please give them free shiat because I want for them to have it' part
 
2013-12-22 07:39:28 AM
I like to think if my right hand died of a terminal illness, it would be cool with me moving on to my left hand.
 
2013-12-22 07:57:51 AM
So what if the guy decided one nagging wife is enough for one lifetime and never remarried?
 
2013-12-22 08:05:05 AM
*reads article*

Oh my God! It's DELILAH! Run for your lives!

Rumor has it that Richard Jeni based this routine on the Delilah show.
 
2013-12-22 08:37:02 AM
The profound sense of love that this woman had for her husband and children is amazing.  I do not view this as "reaching into someones life beyond the grave," I see this as her really showing who she is/was as a woman, a wife, a parent, a human.  I for one would have liked to have known her when she was alive, she seems cool as hell.
 
2013-12-22 08:39:53 AM

Endive Wombat: The profound sense of love that this woman had for her husband and children is amazing.  I do not view this as "reaching into someones life beyond the grave," I see this as her really showing who she is/was as a woman, a wife, a parent, a human.  I for one would have liked to have known her when she was alive, she seems cool as hell.


if you think she was cool then you should feel her now
 
2013-12-22 08:51:16 AM

Endive Wombat: The profound sense of love that this woman had for her husband and children is amazing.  I do not view this as "reaching into someones life beyond the grave," I see this as her really showing who she is/was as a woman, a wife, a parent, a human.  I for one would have liked to have known her when she was alive, she seems cool as hell.


THIS!

I can't fathom having to bring 4 children into this world, fully intent on raising them to adulthood, instilling values and trying to prepare them for a life in this world, only to have biology and fate say 'Yeah...not so much.'

Plans changed outside of her control at a very young age.  Instead of wallowing in self-pity and misery, she prepared her family to do just that:  Move on in life, and hope she could at least give some measure of her imprint on them to move forward, and at least remember her in a positive way.

Additionally, having dated divorced men, and currently engaged to one, building a life with someone who was previously married is tough enough, because there are often lingering pieces of anger and resentment towards the former, yet still alive spouse.  Imagine having to do that, but with a spouse who is gone for no other reason than the fates decided it was her time:  Trying to become 'Wife 2.0' under those circumstances is probably incredibly daunting, because a 'gone-before-their-time' spouse is often canonized within the family.

I applaud the first wife for actively encouraging her family that their lives still go on, she's at peace, and simply wants for them, after her death, the same thing she wanted for them in life:  happy lives filled with family and new memories.

/Fark cancer so farking hard!
 
2013-12-22 08:53:02 AM
That asswipe leaves me if I'm dying of cancer and it's not a letter he's going to get!

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-12-22 09:10:23 AM

Frederick: If I knew I was going to die soon, I dont think I could be unselfish about it.  It would take a very special person.


It is apparently very common for people who know they have little time left to try and organize things for their loved one after they're gone.

My mom's palliative care doc told us not to worry about it - unless it got ou of hand - when my dad found out that she had bought gift subscriptions to a half dozen magazines for us.
 
2013-12-22 09:36:50 AM

thamike: yousaywut: /all you snarky farkers suck it, you wish you could be half so magnanimous in life as this woman was in death.

Also, how do we know about it?  Because that allegedly magnanimous dead woman had sent the letter to a newspaper to publish.  If you don't see that as f*cked up, then you might just be able to happily survive a string of failed relationships with the shallow, spiteful, and terminally ill.



I have so far!
 
2013-12-22 09:54:14 AM
I just think it would be hard enough for the guy to get over his wife dying, let alone move on, that this just dredges up old memories that are anything but good for a new woman in his life. Now it's all over social media, etc. I just hope this doesn't have unintended (or are they intended?) consequences. The man probably struggled with this before moving on. Now he may be struggling after he's moved on. Perhaps he was happy to hear this, but I bet she wasn't or won't be for long.
 
2013-12-22 09:58:03 AM

deansnose: Farking with his life from beyond the grave....give it a rest you nattering twat.


Til death do us part, what was she missing?
 
2013-12-22 10:35:47 AM

NickelP: Endive Wombat: The profound sense of love that this woman had for her husband and children is amazing.  I do not view this as "reaching into someones life beyond the grave," I see this as her really showing who she is/was as a woman, a wife, a parent, a human.  I for one would have liked to have known her when she was alive, she seems cool as hell.

if you think she was cool then you should feel her now


You sir are an ASSHOLE...a hilarious ASSHOLE....
Be damned for making me laugh that hard.
 
2013-12-22 10:41:26 AM
Given the amount of snark in this thread (generally unwarranted but this is Fark) I'll throw in an old joke.

Dying wife:  Honey, I want you to remarry when I'm gone.

Soon-to-be-widowed Husband:  Gee, honey.  Are you sure?

DW:  Yes dear.  I want you to be happy.

STBWH:  Well, if you insist.

DW:  Will you let her live in our house?

STBWH:  Probably.  After all, it's a good house, it's paid for and it's close to everything we need.

DW:  (getting a bit snarky) I suppose you'll let her sleep in our bed?

STBWH:  Well, I don't know why not.  It's a good bed.  No reason not to use it..

DW:  (a bit nastier) And I suppose you'll let her wear my clothes?

STBWH:  Well, if she wants to.  After all, they're good clothes.

DW:  (in full pique at this point) And you'll probably let her use my golf clubs?

STBWH:  No, she's left handed.
 
2013-12-22 10:42:27 AM
1.  The dead wife specifically asked for her doctors to be given drinks.  The radio station didn't come through in this regard.  Fark them.

2.  The friend who mailed the letter was never identified.  I'm guessing Jayne was that friend.
 
2013-12-22 10:43:27 AM
Dude didn't waste any time getting back on the market. Two years and he's married again? Hell after my divorce it was two farking years before I even thought about dating. I think a dead spouse might be easier to get past since she probably didn't fark him up emotionally on the way out the door. Or maybe not, it just seems like he wasted no time getting on Match.com or something and played the dead wife story quite well. Good luck in the new marriage, ESPECIALLY with this now being injected into it...
 
2013-12-22 10:44:03 AM

NickelP: Endive Wombat: The profound sense of love that this woman had for her husband and children is amazing.  I do not view this as "reaching into someones life beyond the grave," I see this as her really showing who she is/was as a woman, a wife, a parent, a human.  I for one would have liked to have known her when she was alive, she seems cool as hell.

if you think she was cool then you should feel her now


I am so going to hell for finding that funny
 
2013-12-22 10:45:30 AM
"Dear biatch who married the man who loved me, adored me, and waited on me hand and foot through the horrors of my declining health,

He better be getting daily blowjobs you undeserving whore.

Sincerely,"
 
2013-12-22 10:50:59 AM

BeatrixK: Endive Wombat: The profound sense of love that this woman had for her husband and children is amazing.  I do not view this as "reaching into someones life beyond the grave," I see this as her really showing who she is/was as a woman, a wife, a parent, a human.  I for one would have liked to have known her when she was alive, she seems cool as hell.

THIS!

I can't fathom having to bring 4 children into this world, fully intent on raising them to adulthood, instilling values and trying to prepare them for a life in this world, only to have biology and fate say 'Yeah...not so much.'

Plans changed outside of her control at a very young age.  Instead of wallowing in self-pity and misery, she prepared her family to do just that:  Move on in life, and hope she could at least give some measure of her imprint on them to move forward, and at least remember her in a positive way.

Additionally, having dated divorced men, and currently engaged to one, building a life with someone who was previously married is tough enough, because there are often lingering pieces of anger and resentment towards the former, yet still alive spouse.  Imagine having to do that, but with a spouse who is gone for no other reason than the fates decided it was her time:  Trying to become 'Wife 2.0' under those circumstances is probably incredibly daunting, because a 'gone-before-their-time' spouse is often canonized within the family.

I applaud the first wife for actively encouraging her family that their lives still go on, she's at peace, and simply wants for them, after her death, the same thing she wanted for them in life:  happy lives filled with family and new memories.

/Fark cancer so farking hard!


It also gives everyone a public release from guilt from moving on and loving someone else which is a horrific battle.

...getting a kick out of the people who've never lost anyone judging the choices of others.
 
2013-12-22 10:52:53 AM

JerkStore: Dude didn't waste any time getting back on the market. Two years and he's married again? Hell after my divorce it was two farking years before I even thought about dating. I think a dead spouse might be easier to get past since she probably didn't fark him up emotionally on the way out the door. Or maybe not, it just seems like he wasted no time getting on Match.com or something and played the dead wife story quite well. Good luck in the new marriage, ESPECIALLY with this now being injected into it...


And this is the reason a public venting of release from guilt isn't a horrible thing.

/you can also count the years they are dying as years of slow release. A lot is said.
 
2013-12-22 10:54:23 AM

tshauk: NickelP: Endive Wombat: The profound sense of love that this woman had for her husband and children is amazing.  I do not view this as "reaching into someones life beyond the grave," I see this as her really showing who she is/was as a woman, a wife, a parent, a human.  I for one would have liked to have known her when she was alive, she seems cool as hell.

if you think she was cool then you should feel her now

You sir are an ASSHOLE...a hilarious ASSHOLE....
Be damned for making me laugh that hard.


Yes. That was cold, man.

+1
I like TFA. The woman was a real ......... woman.
/the new one is pretty cute though
 
2013-12-22 10:57:55 AM

yousaywut: Subby I don't like you:( damned dusty around here.

/all you snarky farkers suck it, you wish you could be half so magnanimous in life as this woman was in death.

//I wish I could too.

///tissues needed bleh


/agreed, what a woman, and the one he's with now seems incredible.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-12-22 10:58:00 AM

Literally Addicted: NickelP: Endive Wombat: The profound sense of love that this woman had for her husband and children is amazing.  I do not view this as "reaching into someones life beyond the grave," I see this as her really showing who she is/was as a woman, a wife, a parent, a human.  I for one would have liked to have known her when she was alive, she seems cool as hell.

if you think she was cool then you should feel her now

I am so going to hell for finding that funny


Move over, bro. I want the aisle seat. How are the peanuts on this train?

/seriously, well done NIP, nicely subtle
 
2013-12-22 10:58:58 AM

Mr. Right: Given the amount of snark in this thread (generally unwarranted but this is Fark) I'll throw in an old joke.

Dying wife:  Honey, I want you to remarry when I'm gone.

Soon-to-be-widowed Husband:  Gee, honey.  Are you sure?

DW:  Yes dear.  I want you to be happy.

STBWH:  Well, if you insist.

DW:  Will you let her live in our house?

STBWH:  Probably.  After all, it's a good house, it's paid for and it's close to everything we need.

DW:  (getting a bit snarky) I suppose you'll let her sleep in our bed?

STBWH:  Well, I don't know why not.  It's a good bed.  No reason not to use it..

DW:  (a bit nastier) And I suppose you'll let her wear my clothes?

STBWH:  Well, if she wants to.  After all, they're good clothes.

DW:  (in full pique at this point) And you'll probably let her use my golf clubs?

STBWH:  No, she's left handed.


Damn man. I forgot that joke. Thank you for the ROFL.
 
2013-12-22 11:43:07 AM

WTFDYW: Damn man. I forgot that joke. Thank you for the ROFL.


You're welcome.  Now go forth, tell it to your co-workers so you don't forget it again!
 
2013-12-22 12:12:59 PM

JerkStore: Dude didn't waste any time getting back on the market. Two years and he's married again? Hell after my divorce it was two farking years before I even thought about dating. I think a dead spouse might be easier to get past since she probably didn't fark him up emotionally on the way out the door. Or maybe not, it just seems like he wasted no time getting on Match.com or something and played the dead wife story quite well. Good luck in the new marriage, ESPECIALLY with this now being injected into it...


I saw a study a few years back that showed that the happier a man is while married, the quicker he will get remarried after he's a widower.
 
2013-12-22 12:42:57 PM
I WILL ALWAYS BE WATCHING
 
2013-12-22 12:51:24 PM
WHAT AN AMAZING COINCIDENCE that the hubby just happened to be on talk radio on the day this happened!
 
2013-12-22 01:04:44 PM
I can see where the letter would be a good idea. Sometimes when people have a loved one that is dying slowly from cancer, it's really hard to truly let the words "you should love again, I want you to so don't feel guilty when you do" sink in. Some people really and truly worry about how their partners will act later on down the line. It might be a little self serving, but hey- this woman probably truly worried about whether or not her husband will be able to love someone else again and felt grateful at the idea that he would. She was probably worried about how he'd act and how the kids would fare without any mother figure in their life if he didn't re-marry. It's not an easy job for the new woman, as she'll always be living in the other woman's footsteps. Letting the other person know that the now dead wife is grateful for her being there is a sweet thought. Self-serving? Sure, a little, but still sweet.
 
2013-12-22 01:55:17 PM

JerkStore: Dude didn't waste any time getting back on the market. Two years and he's married again? Hell after my divorce it was two farking years before I even thought about dating. I think a dead spouse might be easier to get past since she probably didn't fark him up emotionally on the way out the door. Or maybe not, it just seems like he wasted no time getting on Match.com or something and played the dead wife story quite well. Good luck in the new marriage, ESPECIALLY with this now being injected into it...


This is what I thought. I guess everyone's different, or he could be co-dependent
 
2013-12-22 02:06:34 PM

JerkStore: Dude didn't waste any time getting back on the market. Two years and he's married again? Hell after my divorce it was two farking years before I even thought about dating. I think a dead spouse might be easier to get past since she probably didn't fark him up emotionally on the way out the door. Or maybe not, it just seems like he wasted no time getting on Match.com or something and played the dead wife story quite well. Good luck in the new marriage, ESPECIALLY with this now being injected into it...


1. With a lot of kids involved it's probably for the best, provided the new wife is a halfway decent person.
2. One year to grieve and under one year to marry is not super crazy, provided you know what you want.
3. He had no need to play up the widower angle. He was undoubtedly inundated with applicants for the new position as soon as his sign went up, and probably got some unwanted advances much earlier as well. There is no catch more desirable to midlife women than a recent widower, for some reason.
 
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