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(AsiaOne)   Keanu Reeves' new movie 47 Ronin is so bad that one reviewer is blaming demons for Reeves' acting   (news.asiaone.com) divider line 114
    More: Followup, Keanu Reeves, ronin, monsters, Lord Asano  
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5220 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 21 Dec 2013 at 7:35 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-21 06:41:54 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-21 06:45:14 PM
That assumes that Reeves could ever act.

I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.
 
2013-12-21 06:46:47 PM
Wow, that was one of the worst written film reviews I've ever read and I've been reading Harry Knowles from Aint-It-Cool-News for like five years, so that's saying something. I think I will see this film now. Thanks.
 
2013-12-21 07:13:03 PM

Mugato: Wow, that was one of the worst written film reviews I've ever read and I've been reading Harry Knowles from Aint-It-Cool-News for like five years, so that's saying something. I think I will see this film now. Thanks.


I was already planning on seeing it, reviews or no reviews. Looks to be a good time killer.
 
2013-12-21 07:42:57 PM
Hardly. If he was demon-posessed, he would actually be lively for a change.
 
2013-12-21 07:43:34 PM
Whoah..
 
2013-12-21 07:44:21 PM

slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.

I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.


The Devil's Advocate is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Keanu's wooden delivery and Pacino chewing scenery? Yes please.
 
2013-12-21 07:46:19 PM
He should have just made another Matrix movie.
 
2013-12-21 07:50:18 PM
"Acting"
 
2013-12-21 07:55:06 PM

texdent: Mugato: Wow, that was one of the worst written film reviews I've ever read and I've been reading Harry Knowles from Aint-It-Cool-News for like five years, so that's saying something. I think I will see this film now. Thanks.

I was already planning on seeing it, reviews or no reviews. Looks to be a good time killer.


It is.

I love Japan enough to have moved here. It's a great country and the 47 Ronin's tales is one of the best episodes of history in the entire human timeline. A wonderful story that really captures the essence of everything it means to be human. Plus, the moral of the story is "Kill people who are dicks. You'll be heroes." which is a theme we need to put back into common law with duels.

Anyway, I digress. The point is this movie is a travesty of history that takes a big runny shiat all over the real heroes and their story. But it's also a nice 3 star movie with sword fights and explosions. 4 for the movie itself, 3 for the fight choreography, but only 1 for the story.
 
2013-12-21 07:58:27 PM

static.skynetblogs.be
"This is...pure acting, biatches."



/What else would one expect from the male Kristen Stewart?
 
2013-12-21 07:59:11 PM

Random Internet Persona: The Devil's Advocate is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Keanu's wooden delivery and Pacino chewing scenery? Yes please.


I enjoy that movie mostly because Pacino hams it up throughout the entire movie...which makes it fun.
 
2013-12-21 08:05:32 PM

LoneWolf343: Hardly. If he was demon-posessed, he would actually be lively for a change.


Watching him on Colbert was painful.  Colbert was running out of small talk so he tried to talk Reeves into doing particular emotions, but Reeves can't do emotions.  Every look was the same.  It was like watching Zoolander without a sense of humor or irony.
 
2013-12-21 08:10:08 PM
I get confused between that hobbit movie and this when I see the trailers.
 
2013-12-21 08:15:19 PM

Random Internet Persona: slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.

I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.

The Devil's Advocate is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Keanu's wooden delivery and Pacino chewing scenery? Yes please.



Keanu's southern accent is in a three way tie with Kevin Costner's Robin Hood and Brad Pitt's Irish accent in Devil's Own for the worst accent ever committed to film.
 
2013-12-21 08:16:39 PM
images1.sw-cdn.net
 
2013-12-21 08:22:13 PM

slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.
I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.


Fun fact: Keanu Reeves' entire career is just a huge string of settle-for-less casting choices. Every single movie he's ever starred in -- especially back in the 90s -- he was never the first casting choice. The roles were always dumped to him after Tom Cruise or Bruce Willis or other bigname stars turned it down. Even after he was a big star. Point Break was supposed to be Charlie Sheen. He was so far down the depth chart for Speed (George Clooney, Stephen Baldwin, William Baldwin, Johnny Depp, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Keaton, Tom Cruise, Jeff Bridges and Tom Hanks all turned it down) that it's crazy the movie was made at all. The Matrix was supposed to have an all-black cast.

So Keanu is successful despite himself. He has literally failed toward success.
 
2013-12-21 08:25:48 PM

fusillade762: He should have just made another Matrix movie.


I was always hoping they would make a second one.
 
2013-12-21 08:30:48 PM
How did they manage to shoehorn a white actor (Reeves) into a classic Japanese story? Why?
 
2013-12-21 08:34:05 PM

Ishkur: slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.
I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.

Fun fact: Keanu Reeves' entire career is just a huge string of settle-for-less casting choices. Every single movie he's ever starred in -- especially back in the 90s -- he was never the first casting choice. The roles were always dumped to him after Tom Cruise or Bruce Willis or other bigname stars turned it down. Even after he was a big star. Point Break was supposed to be Charlie Sheen. He was so far down the depth chart for Speed (George Clooney, Stephen Baldwin, William Baldwin, Johnny Depp, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Keaton, Tom Cruise, Jeff Bridges and Tom Hanks all turned it down) that it's crazy the movie was made at all. The Matrix was supposed to have an all-black cast.

So Keanu is successful despite himself. He has literally failed toward success.


Trying to figure out the casting in Bram Stoker's Dracula is also a mind-bending adventure.

"Let's see... we have Gary Oldman and Anthony Hopkins as the leads, so we know they'll knock it out of the park. We also have Cary Elwes and Richard E. Grant in supporting roles, so we're looking pretty strong. But what do we do about the Harkers?"
"Well, maybe I'm just going crazy from this weird album we've been listening to... but I'm thinking Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder."
"Wow, that will be even more jarring than this singer's voice. Let's do it."
"Who's singing on the album, anyway?"
(checks cover) "Tom Waits."
"Dude... I know who can be Renfield."

/also featuring young, topless Monica Bellucci
 
2013-12-21 08:34:35 PM

Witty_Retort: fusillade762: He should have just made another Matrix movie.

I was always hoping they would make a second one.


There can be only one
 
2013-12-21 08:35:19 PM

stoli n coke: Random Internet Persona: slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.

I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.

The Devil's Advocate is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Keanu's wooden delivery and Pacino chewing scenery? Yes please.


Keanu's southern accent is in a three way tie with Kevin Costner's Robin Hood and Brad Pitt's Irish accent in Devil's Own for the worst accent ever committed to film.


Agreed.
 
2013-12-21 08:35:48 PM
I was so excited when I heard Keanu Reeves' production group had picked up the rights to Shibumi. I thought the movie would finally get made. Now I'm praying they never try.
 
2013-12-21 08:36:29 PM

red5ish: How did they manage to shoehorn a white actor (Reeves) into a classic Japanese story? Why?


Yeah, they should've used Jackie Chan.
 
2013-12-21 08:46:05 PM
Bill and Ted 3
 
2013-12-21 08:50:16 PM
You know, I have this glimmer deep in the back of my mind that this movie is going to be pretty rad.

That's "rad", not "great".
 
2013-12-21 08:52:33 PM

red5ish: How did they manage to shoehorn a white actor (Reeves) into a classic Japanese story? Why?


...precedent?
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-21 08:55:19 PM

slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.

I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.


Reeves plays one type of character very well - chill, likeable American (god help your movie if you ask him to do an accent) smartass who doesn't appear to be completely there. Unfortunately, that's all he can really play but because his movies tend to make money, he gets hired for roles that he's not at all suited for (like Nicolas Cage before he became a joke).
 
2013-12-21 08:57:37 PM

firesign: red5ish: How did they manage to shoehorn a white actor (Reeves) into a classic Japanese story? Why?

...precedent?
[upload.wikimedia.org image 290x410]


I actually don't know anything about the original 47 Ronin story but the Last Samurai was about a white man, just like Avatar and a Man Called Horse.
 
2013-12-21 08:57:56 PM

clkeagle: Trying to figure out the casting in Bram Stoker's Dracula is also a mind-bending adventure.


No kidding.  It was painful watching the scenes with him in it...especially when he was so badly outclassed by Oldman or Hopkins.  I enjoyed the story, just Reeves was so distractingly bad when they really needed a stronger lead.  He was ok in the Matrix...mostly because the role didn't ask him to do to much acting.
 
2013-12-21 09:04:02 PM

red5ish: How did they manage to shoehorn a white actor (Reeves) into a classic Japanese story?

They didn't.

Why?

Because studio execs are functionally retarded and project a lot.

 
2013-12-21 09:05:21 PM

Mugato: firesign: red5ish: How did they manage to shoehorn a white actor (Reeves) into a classic Japanese story? Why?

...precedent?
[upload.wikimedia.org image 290x410]

I actually don't know anything about the original 47 Ronin story but the Last Samurai was about a white man, just like Avatar and a Man Called Horse.


Shiat. That'll teach me to make reference to movies I haven't actually watched.
 
2013-12-21 09:08:07 PM

clkeagle: Ishkur: slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.
I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.

Fun fact: Keanu Reeves' entire career is just a huge string of settle-for-less casting choices. Every single movie he's ever starred in -- especially back in the 90s -- he was never the first casting choice. The roles were always dumped to him after Tom Cruise or Bruce Willis or other bigname stars turned it down. Even after he was a big star. Point Break was supposed to be Charlie Sheen. He was so far down the depth chart for Speed (George Clooney, Stephen Baldwin, William Baldwin, Johnny Depp, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Keaton, Tom Cruise, Jeff Bridges and Tom Hanks all turned it down) that it's crazy the movie was made at all. The Matrix was supposed to have an all-black cast.

So Keanu is successful despite himself. He has literally failed toward success.

Trying to figure out the casting in Bram Stoker's Dracula is also a mind-bending adventure.

"Let's see... we have Gary Oldman and Anthony Hopkins as the leads, so we know they'll knock it out of the park. We also have Cary Elwes and Richard E. Grant in supporting roles, so we're looking pretty strong. But what do we do about the Harkers?"
"Well, maybe I'm just going crazy from this weird album we've been listening to... but I'm thinking Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder."
"Wow, that will be even more jarring than this singer's voice. Let's do it."
"Who's singing on the album, anyway?"
(checks cover) "Tom Waits."
"Dude... I know who can be Renfield."

/also featuring young, topless Monica Bellucci


/also featuring young, topless Monica Belluci

Wait, what?!? Why don't I remember this. Her bosoms must be very sad for me to not remember this.

/ off to the googles.
 
ecl
2013-12-21 09:08:21 PM
Fact: Keanu Reeves makes any movie better with his presence.
 
2013-12-21 09:08:42 PM

stoli n coke: Random Internet Persona: slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.

I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.

The Devil's Advocate is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Keanu's wooden delivery and Pacino chewing scenery? Yes please.


Keanu's southern accent is in a three way tie with Kevin Costner's Robin Hood and Brad Pitt's Irish accent in Devil's Own for the worst accent ever committed to film.


I think you just read off 3 of the four heads on Mt. Rushmore of bad acting. I personally would go with Costner in JFK, but I can't possibly disagree with you either.

So who's the fourth? I'm going to go with Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men. The story was stupid and he was godawful in a way few "actors" have ever approached.
 
2013-12-21 09:11:09 PM

Towermonkey: clkeagle: Ishkur: slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.
I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.

Fun fact: Keanu Reeves' entire career is just a huge string of settle-for-less casting choices. Every single movie he's ever starred in -- especially back in the 90s -- he was never the first casting choice. The roles were always dumped to him after Tom Cruise or Bruce Willis or other bigname stars turned it down. Even after he was a big star. Point Break was supposed to be Charlie Sheen. He was so far down the depth chart for Speed (George Clooney, Stephen Baldwin, William Baldwin, Johnny Depp, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Keaton, Tom Cruise, Jeff Bridges and Tom Hanks all turned it down) that it's crazy the movie was made at all. The Matrix was supposed to have an all-black cast.

So Keanu is successful despite himself. He has literally failed toward success.

Trying to figure out the casting in Bram Stoker's Dracula is also a mind-bending adventure.

"Let's see... we have Gary Oldman and Anthony Hopkins as the leads, so we know they'll knock it out of the park. We also have Cary Elwes and Richard E. Grant in supporting roles, so we're looking pretty strong. But what do we do about the Harkers?"
"Well, maybe I'm just going crazy from this weird album we've been listening to... but I'm thinking Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder."
"Wow, that will be even more jarring than this singer's voice. Let's do it."
"Who's singing on the album, anyway?"
(checks cover) "Tom Waits."
"Dude... I know who can be Renfield."

/also featuring young, topless Monica Bellucci

/also featuring young, topless Monica Belluci

Wait, what?!? Why don't I remember this. Her bosoms must be very sad for me to not remember this.

/ off to the googles.


Upon further review, Ms. Bellucci's bosom is quite nice, and towermonkey claims some sort of mental defect.
 
2013-12-21 09:11:55 PM

Girl Sailor: stoli n coke: Random Internet Persona: slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.

I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.

The Devil's Advocate is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Keanu's wooden delivery and Pacino chewing scenery? Yes please.


Keanu's southern accent is in a three way tie with Kevin Costner's Robin Hood and Brad Pitt's Irish accent in Devil's Own for the worst accent ever committed to film.

I think you just read off 3 of the four heads on Mt. Rushmore of bad acting. I personally would go with Costner in JFK, but I can't possibly disagree with you either.

So who's the fourth? I'm going to go with Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men. The story was stupid and he was godawful in a way few "actors" have ever approached.


I'm gonna go with the guy who voiced Jar Jar because f*ck that guy.
 
2013-12-21 09:20:26 PM

red5ish: How did they manage to shoehorn a white actor (Reeves) into a classic Japanese story? Why?


My guess is that when universal decided to make it a "a stylized version of the story, mixing fantasy elements of the sort seen in  The Lord of the Rings pics, with gritty battle scenes akin to those in films such as  Gladiator" set "in a world of witches and giants," they gave up on the pretense of historical accuracy.  Instead, they were probably aiming for "OMG badass!" and wanted the hero to be a self-insert character that the (twentysomething male) audience could use to pretend that they are the lead.  At that point, they likely figured they might as well have the go-to guy for self-insert characters even if he is the wrong nationality.  After all, there may not have been a lot of white guys in 18th century Japan, but there weren't any witches or giants either.
 
2013-12-21 09:23:43 PM
Bad is Reeves in Branagh's "Much Ado About Nothing." It's as if the caterer's dishwasher wandered on set with these a-class UK actors.
 
2013-12-21 09:33:00 PM
After seeing him on Colbert I have decided that I hate him with the heat of a thousand burning suns.  Reeves is 49 years old, yet he looks like he's in his mid-to-late 20s.  His excuse is "good genes."  I am 5 years older than he is, and unfortunately look my age.

/Yes, I am jealous
 
2013-12-21 09:34:47 PM
I still maintain that Keanu's parents were held at gunpoint during the filming of The Gift. How else was he able to actually contort his facial muscles and turn in a stellar performance?
 
2013-12-21 09:34:52 PM
Color me disappointed. Based on the trailer, I was going to give this movie a chance. I hadn't even realized Keanu "two legs short of making a good coffee table" Reeves was in it.
 
2013-12-21 09:39:36 PM

Random Internet Persona: slayer199: That assumes that Reeves could ever act.

I like some of the movies he's been in...but I'd never call him an actor.  It's Keanu Reeves doing something something.

The Devil's Advocate is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Keanu's wooden delivery and Pacino chewing scenery? Charlize Theron's nipples? Yes please.


FTFY
 
2013-12-21 09:45:34 PM
I dug Man of Tai Chi, and look forward to this.
 
2013-12-21 09:47:39 PM

czetie: Color me disappointed. Based on the trailer, I was going to give this movie a chance. I hadn't even realized Keanu "two legs short of making a good coffee table" Reeves was in it.


Still a chance it won't suck. This movie was ticketed for a February release but was then moved to a Christmas release.  That doesn't happen.  There must be something there that worked for the US test screening.    It's worrying there are no reviews on Rottentomatoes yet.  It hasn't been popular in Japan but I could easily see why that would be the case here.  Hell, seeing the Japanese comments about the Godzilla trailer and Ken Wantanabe in particular there seems to be an understandable dislike of Hollywood appropriating their stories and actors.
 
2013-12-21 09:48:11 PM

red5ish: How did they manage to shoehorn a white actor (Reeves) into a classic Japanese story? Why?


Because Black actors are being shoehorned in to roles that were traditionally white characters. Its just bumping rights. Dont worry Asians will now be shoehorned in latino roles.
 
2013-12-21 10:10:43 PM
Well, it comes out in 4 days and there isn't a single review posted yet on Rotten Tomatoes. A review blackout like that means the movie is shiat about 95% of the time.

From what I've seen, I like Keanu on a personal level. I think he'd be a cool dude to hang out with. But he's not the most versatile actor, and he's not very good at picking material. The films he's picked since The Matrix trilogy make for a very long list of forgettable movies, although I thought Street Kings was a lot better than I had expected. He keeps picking projects with directors who have never made any notable movies. Examples:

47 Ronin - Director had never made a feature film before, according to IMDb
Man of Tai Chi - He directed it himself, his first time as a director
Generation Um - Never even heard about this one, directed by another guy who'd never made a feature before

One of his next films, called John Wick, is directed by a pair of stuntmen who have never directed a movie before.

I applaud supporting new artists, but not back-to-back-to-back at the expense of his career. Maybe he can't get the big roles with big directors anymore. Maybe he's so filthy rich that he just wants to have fun with passion projects. I don't know. But risking your career on one first-timer director after another is a little weird.
 
2013-12-21 10:14:02 PM

ecl: Fact: Keanu Reeves makes any movie better with his presence.


Yeah, in another movie.
 
2013-12-21 10:14:58 PM

Omis: red5ish: How did they manage to shoehorn a white actor (Reeves) into a classic Japanese story? Why?

Because Black actors are being shoehorned in to roles that were traditionally white characters. Its just bumping rights. Dont worry Asians will now be shoehorned in latino roles.


Don't miss the reboot of White Men Can't Jump, starring Jayden Smith as Billy Hoyle,
Kevin Alejandro as Sidney Deane, and Françoise Yip as the Gloria Clemente.
 
2013-12-21 10:15:31 PM

Omis: red5ish: How did they manage to shoehorn a white actor (Reeves) into a classic Japanese story? Why?

Because Black actors are being shoehorned in to roles that were traditionally white characters. Its just bumping rights. Dont worry Asians will now be shoehorned in latino roles.


"Stand and Deliver" with Daniel Dae Kim in the Edward James Olmos role?
 
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