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(Huffington Post)   There are Purity Balls for teenage boys and ten other things you probably didn't know about virginity culture. Things the article writer missed to the right   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 114
    More: Interesting, virginity culture, purity balls, practice makes perfect, Jessica Valenti, Ally Sheedy, sexual education, etymology, virgins  
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10083 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Dec 2013 at 9:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



114 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-21 05:33:14 AM  
12. The butt doesn't count.
 
2013-12-21 06:45:00 AM  
13. Posting on Slashdot
 
2013-12-21 09:17:59 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-21 09:35:48 AM  
Purity Balls is what I nickname my testicles.
 
2013-12-21 09:37:15 AM  
Another beautiful thing that Religion has turned into a miserable mess.
 
2013-12-21 09:40:00 AM  
If you want your teenage boy to remain a virgin introduce him to D&D. Otherwise buy him a pack of condoms and tell him you aren't footing the bill for any kids.
 
2013-12-21 09:40:55 AM  
Integrity balls will never replace circle-jerks.
 
2013-12-21 09:41:47 AM  
There is no one definition of "virginity."

If you're having your naughty bits pleasured by another person, or you're pleasuring the naughty bits of another, you're no longer a virgin.
 
2013-12-21 09:41:54 AM  
Expecting to see Purity Balls as Fifty Shades of Blue.
 
2013-12-21 09:43:46 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.comNot all balls are pure
 
2013-12-21 09:44:18 AM  

wildcardjack: If you want your teenage boy to remain a virgin introduce him to D&D. Otherwise buy him a pack of condoms and tell him you aren't footing the bill for any kids.


I was thinking get him a WoW account, 12 pack of Dew and a bag of Doritos.
 
2013-12-21 09:45:05 AM  

BitwiseShift: Expecting to see Purity Balls as Fifty Shades of Blue.


That's gold.
 
2013-12-21 09:45:39 AM  

edmo: Another beautiful thing that Religion has turned into a miserable mess.


To be fair, a lot of people turn sexual relations into a miserable mess.  It's not like all non-religious people are leading lives of open uninhibited mutually-fulfilling and responsibly enjoyed sexual bliss.  Religion is far from unique in this regard, or most others regards for that matter.
 
2013-12-21 09:46:04 AM  
I didn't know there was a "virginity culture". Can you grow that in a petri dish?
 
2013-12-21 09:46:19 AM  

Radak: Purity Balls is what I nickname my testicles.


I find my partners tend to like when my balls have purity, versus sweaty man balls from a hot day.

Unless they like that sort of thing. I'm not judging.
 
2013-12-21 09:48:32 AM  

gunsmack: wildcardjack: If you want your teenage boy to remain a virgin introduce him to D&D. Otherwise buy him a pack of condoms and tell him you aren't footing the bill for any kids.

I was thinking get him a WoW account, 12 pack of Dew and a bag of Doritos.


WoW is too mainstream.  He'll spend all his free-time playing WoW but he'll spend 3/4ths of it hitting on the token 'guild leader' chick who spends all of her time chatting to everyone in the guild.  Eventually, he'll start dating some 'online girl' even though he won't see her ever.  Eventually, one summer, he'll lie to you about going to some new XMen movie marathon sleep over with his nerd friends but really drive five hours to sleep with his girlfriend because her parents are out of town.  Naturally, she'll be 20 pounds heavier than her pictures implied, but whatever.  Love is love.
 
2013-12-21 09:48:52 AM  
So less of a pedophiles and daughters thing and more of a future serial killers and their moms thing?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-12-21 09:50:10 AM  
Purity ball?
Well it sure will keep them from putting 'things' in their mouths.
s.ecrater.com
 
2013-12-21 09:51:17 AM  
Purity balls?   o_O

http://www.generationsoflight.com/

That is just so creepy. I can't even fathom growing up with fundie parents. I feel bad for those that did.
 
2013-12-21 09:52:52 AM  

mutterfark: I didn't know there was a "virginity culture". Can you grow that in a petri dish?


It's also known as Total Fark.
 
2013-12-21 09:52:55 AM  
If there was such a thing as "virginity culture" Fark would come with High Tea and crumpets.
 
2013-12-21 09:54:46 AM  

Gleeman: mutterfark: I didn't know there was a "virginity culture". Can you grow that in a petri dish?

It's also known as Total Fark.


*shakes tiny fist*

stop steppin' on mah joke!

/well done, +1
 
2013-12-21 09:57:26 AM  
[Integrity balls are] not about ownership or I'm pledging my virginity to my mother or it's important for me to wait because that makes me a virtuous man. The language was: 'I shouldn't have sex because that's someone's future wife or that's someone's daughter.' So you don't want to do damage to someone else's property.

Wow.  Just wow.  "Someone else's property."

That's all kinds of farked up.
 
2013-12-21 09:57:44 AM  
"[Integrity balls are] not about ownership or I'm pledging my virginity to my mother or it's important for me to wait because that makes me a virtuous man. The language was: 'I shouldn't have sex because that's someone's future wife or that's someone's daughter.' So you don't want to do damage to someone else's property. "

Ugh this is so messed up, how can people follow this crap?
 
2013-12-21 09:58:10 AM  
I'm abstaining from premarital sex, but only because nobody will fark me.
 
2013-12-21 09:59:13 AM  
Oh, and as clearly explained by Chef, the right age is 17.
 
2013-12-21 10:00:21 AM  

ReapTheChaos: If you're having your naughty bits pleasured by another person, or you're pleasuring the naughty bits of another, you're no longer a virgin.


So if I look at a pretty girl and have a pleasurable feeling in my naughty bits, I just lost my virginity?
 
2013-12-21 10:00:56 AM  
Virginity culture?  If they don't want to be virgins anymore they should think about switching to rape culture...
 
2013-12-21 10:05:39 AM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: ReapTheChaos: If you're having your naughty bits pleasured by another person, or you're pleasuring the naughty bits of another, you're no longer a virgin.

So if I look at a pretty girl and have a pleasurable feeling in my naughty bits, I just lost my virginity?


Yes, that's right.  Well done!
 
2013-12-21 10:06:58 AM  

DarkVader: [Integrity balls are] not about ownership or I'm pledging my virginity to my mother or it's important for me to wait because that makes me a virtuous man. The language was: 'I shouldn't have sex because that's someone's future wife or that's someone's daughter.' So you don't want to do damage to someone else's property.

Wow.  Just wow.  "Someone else's property."

That's all kinds of farked up.


No shiat.  That is creepy as hell.  A bunch of older religious people shuffling off a bunch of young boys to a secluded location to *ahem* preserve their integrity by making sure they don't touch those dirty, dirty girls.  WTF?

i595.photobucket.com
"But we have a football team, too!"
 
2013-12-21 10:07:26 AM  

ultraholland: I'm abstaining from premarital sex, but only because nobody will fark me.


[looks at profile]
Shave.  And dress better.  Lose the hat.  And either get a haircut or let it get really long.

Now that I think about it, I had better results when my hair was halfway down my back than I do now with it short, the ladies love long hair.  I just got tired of the tangles.
 
2013-12-21 10:09:19 AM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: edmo: Another beautiful thing that Religion has turned into a miserable mess.

To be fair, a lot of people turn sexual relations into a miserable mess.  It's not like all non-religious people are leading lives of open uninhibited mutually-fulfilling and responsibly enjoyed sexual bliss.  Religion is far from unique in this regard, or most others regards for that matter.


It's interesting for instance that lots of folks lament american puritan prudery and look to asia as freaky deaky sex land because they don't have that ebbil jaysus ruining things. that would turn out to be a surprise for them to discover what the sexual mores are
 
2013-12-21 10:10:48 AM  
"The Huffington Post  |  By Alanna Vagianos"

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-21 10:12:47 AM  
And how long does this purity last after the little snowflakes get away from their parents when they go to college?
 
2013-12-21 10:20:11 AM  

gozar_the_destroyer: And how long does this purity last after the little snowflakes get away from their parents when they go to college?


That's what I tell my kid: there's a time and place for sex, drugs, and alcohol.  And that place is called college.  Also, sex lasts 15 minutes tops, babies and herpes last a lifetime.  Maybe a poster of a condom with the text, "It's dangerous to go alone!  Take this."
 
2013-12-21 10:20:39 AM  

gozar_the_destroyer: And how long does this purity last after the little snowflakes get away from their parents when they go to college?


I was farked up by this shiat when I was a teenager. They had me running all around the houses trying to be a good Christian. It set me back several years and did irreparable damage to my social life when I finally broke out and tried to start dating, but had no experience with girls. I spent 19 and 20 making the mistakes boys are supposed to be making at 14 and 15. I remember liking a girl in one of my classes and I didn't know how to express it, so I just showed up at her door with flowers because that was the only image of courtship I had in my head. She freaked out and told me she was going to call the cops if I ever tried to contact her again.

I had to read a lot of books and do a lot of work with a life coach to make up for that lost time. Fark fundamentalism.
 
2013-12-21 10:21:12 AM  

gozar_the_destroyer: And how long does this purity last after the little snowflakes get away from their parents when they go to college?


It's called "move-in day"?
 
2013-12-21 10:23:08 AM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: The Huffington Post | By Alanna Vagianos"


www.oocities.org
 
2013-12-21 10:29:01 AM  
Some FARKed up shiat
Warren Zevon said it best
Hank Moody nods
 
2013-12-21 10:29:51 AM  
You gotta purity mouth....
 
2013-12-21 10:34:50 AM  

edmo: Another beautiful thing that Religion has turned into a miserable mess.


Tell me all about it since I wont bother reading a rag like the Post .
 
2013-12-21 10:35:09 AM  
mondoexploito.com

Obscure?
 
2013-12-21 10:37:44 AM  
Purity Balls are creepy as fark, it just ain't right for a father to be so obsessed with his daughter's maidenhood.

Speaking of creepy, I *guarantee* Santorum will have or already had a Purity Ball for his daughters.
 
2013-12-21 10:45:04 AM  
CSB: I lost my 'virgnity' as it were when I was 12 to a girl from my class over winter break. It was about as awkward an encounter as you can imagine. Then it got even more awkward back in school. And ten times that when somehow everyone found out. Could have used *some* guidance back then.


As to the article. I can't imagine what stories, lies or other bullshiat those kids are told to keep them in line, but whatever it is, it can't help but fark them up for live.
 
2013-12-21 10:46:54 AM  

pyrotek85: "[Integrity balls are] not about ownership or I'm pledging my virginity to my mother or it's important for me to wait because that makes me a virtuous man. The language was: 'I shouldn't have sex because that's someone's future wife or that's someone's daughter.' So you don't want to do damage to someone else's property. "

Ugh this is so messed up, how can people follow this crap?


That's what happens when you decide to follow the rules of a bunch of bronze-age nomads.
 
2013-12-21 10:48:52 AM  

DarkVader: ultraholland: I'm abstaining from premarital sex, but only because nobody will fark me.

[looks at profile]
Shave.  And dress better.  Lose the hat.  And either get a haircut or let it get really long.

Now that I think about it, I had better results when my hair was halfway down my back than I do now with it short, the ladies love long hair.  I just got tired of the tangles.


[Also looks at profile]
What? Your sisters are track stars?
 
2013-12-21 11:04:30 AM  

cc_rider: Purity balls?   o_O

http://www.generationsoflight.com/

That is just so creepy. I can't even fathom growing up with fundie parents. I feel bad for those that did.


From that website:
"How can you measure the value of your eleven year old looking up into your eyes (as you clumsily learn the fox-trot together) with innocent, uncontainable joy, saying, 'Daddy, I'm so excited!' wrote one father in a letter describing his grateful participation. 'I have been involved with the Father-Daughter Ball for two years with my daughters. It is impossible to convey what I have seen in their sweet spirits, their delicate, forming souls, as their daddy takes them out for their first big dance. Their whole being absorbs my loving attention, resulting in a radiant sense of self-worth and identity. Think of it from their perspective: My daddy thinks I'm beautiful in my own unique way. My daddy is treating me with respect and honor. My daddy has taken time to be silly, and even made a fool of himself, learning how to dance. My dad really loves me!"

That's about 1000x creepier than having sex.
 
2013-12-21 11:04:52 AM  

NewWorldDan: gozar_the_destroyer: And how long does this purity last after the little snowflakes get away from their parents when they go to college?

That's what I tell my kid: there's a time and place for sex, drugs, and alcohol.  And that place is called college.  Also, sex lasts 15 minutes tops, babies and herpes last a lifetime.  Maybe a poster of a condom with the text, "It's dangerous to go alone!  Take this."


www.pokelol.com
 
2013-12-21 11:05:24 AM  
llamabutchers.mu.nu
You have mighty purity balls.
 
2013-12-21 11:09:07 AM  
"12. The butt doesn't count."

Actually it does with easier potential transfer of blood and disease without natural lubrication.
Just because some don't want to recognize the risk doesn't mean that it isn't there.
And some of us just aren't big fans of feces either.
 
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