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(Washington Post)   Finally, a flowchart for you indecisive nitwits out there to decide on which movie to watch. Now stop asking TotalFark to make your decisions for you   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 27
    More: Spiffy, dimwits, flow charts  
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6133 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2013 at 2:30 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-20 01:59:40 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-20 02:17:12 PM  
What do you think, TotalFarkers? Should I follow this advice or not?

My flow chart:
Want a Christmas movie?

    Yes ---> A Christmas Carol (1951) - with Alistair Sim
    No ---> Have more eggnog
 
2013-12-20 02:30:55 PM  
WTF? I tried and tried to answer the questions to get The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and failed.

Nor could I get American Hustle.

Ain't planning on watching anything else.
 
2013-12-20 02:31:01 PM  

MrBallou: My flow chart:
Want a Christmas movie?


img.fark.net
 
2013-12-20 02:31:44 PM  
Why not just go see all of them?
 
2013-12-20 02:34:17 PM  
The answer

Watch movie----->Spaceballs

/however the Die Hard joke just won it all
 
2013-12-20 02:34:31 PM  
If it's longer than two hours I'm not watching it.
 
2013-12-20 02:36:49 PM  
i43.tinypic.com
   porno-ddl.org
 
2013-12-20 02:38:25 PM  

MrBallou: What do you think, TotalFarkers? Should I follow this advice or not? My flow chart: Want a Christmas movie?     Yes ---> A Christmas Carol (1951) - with Alistair Sim     No ---> Have more eggnog

My favorite
 
2013-12-20 02:39:37 PM  

uncleacid: If it's longer than two hours I'm not watching it.


I'm just the opposite. If a movie isn't at least 2 hours long i don't feel like i've gotten my moneys worth.
 
2013-12-20 02:41:05 PM  
Action > Maybe something more grounded. > No singing snowmen > In English = Iron Man 3? WTF?

Die Hard.
 
2013-12-20 02:43:04 PM  

MrBallou: What do you think, TotalFarkers? Should I follow this advice or not?

My flow chart:
Want a Christmas movie?

    Yes --->A Christmas Carol (1951) - with Alistair Sim

downtownindecember.org

    No ---> Have more eggnog

 Porn
 
2013-12-20 02:43:28 PM  

SecretAgentWoman: WTF? I tried and tried to answer the questions to get The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and failed.

Nor could I get American Hustle.

Ain't planning on watching anything else.


Drama-False-Not Necessarily-I said I want Fiction!-Fine. As long as there's polyester and big hair = American Hustle.
 
2013-12-20 02:44:52 PM  
Another attempt by the Washington Post Weekend section to be edgy and humorous.
 
2013-12-20 02:46:01 PM  
The World's End.

I'll take it.  And it gives me the chance to use this again:

i171.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-20 02:46:57 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Another attempt by the Washington Post Weekend section to be edgy and humorous.


Sort of like TFD, amiright?
 
2013-12-20 02:53:20 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
/best movie ever made by humans ever
 
2013-12-20 02:53:43 PM  
phatswazy.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-20 03:05:54 PM  

SDRR: MrBallou: What do you think, TotalFarkers? Should I follow this advice or not? My flow chart: Want a Christmas movie?     Yes ---> A Christmas Carol (1951) - with Alistair Sim     No ---> Have more eggnog
My favorite

 
2013-12-20 03:27:54 PM  
Merry Christmas, lazy people.

==========================
Action
  In outer space?
          Take me to the moon.
        How realistic should this be?
            I want to feel weightless
                "Gravity"
            I thought we were talking about intergalactic adventures
                "Star Trek: Into Darkness"
          Maybe something more grounded.
        So with a singing snowman, then?
            Um...
                Featuring Malekith, Asgard and Aether?
                    In English?
                        Okay. How important is witty repartee?
                            Action without clever dialogue makes me feel empty inside.
                                "Iron Man 3"
                    You're speaking my language.
                        "Thor: The Dark World"
            Now you're talking.
                "Frozen"
Drama
   True or False: Fact trumps fiction.
    True
        Are you in the mood for a good cry?
            Open the floodgates.
                And you want a story from recent history?
                    Yes.
                        "Philomena"
                    No.
                        "12 Years a Slave"
            Isn't life hard enough?
                So something more uplifting. How do you like your protagonists?
                    Flawed.
                        "Dallas Buyers Club"
                    Noble.
                        "Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom"
                    Brassy.
                        "Saving Mr. Banks"
    False
        Are you looking for romance?
            Not necessarily.
                Fill in the blank: Family dysfunction is _______.
                    Entertaining, if it's not too mean.
                        "Nebraska"
                    I said I want fiction!
                        Okay. What about a movie based loosely on reality?
                            Fine. As long as there are folk songs.
                                "Inside Llewyn Davis"
                            Fine. As long as there's polyester and big hair.
                                "American Hustle."
            Sigh. Yes.
                How do you like your leading men?
                    A little glum.
                        And a guy falling in love with a computer is...
                            Intriguing.
                                "Her"
                            Creepy. No thanks.
                                "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"
                    Who said anything about men?
                            "Blue is the Warmest Color"
Laughs
    How funny do your find the apocalypse?
        Nothing makes me chuckle harder than fire and brimstone.
            Fill in the blank: British humor is ______.
                Brilliant!
                    "The World's End"
                Daft.
                    "This is the End"
        That sounds dire.
                Pop quiz: What does San Diego mean to Germany?
                    Tee hee.
                        "Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues"
                    No idea.  What are you getting at?
                        Oh, nothing.  Are little ones watching?
                            No. Adults only.
                                And satire is ... ?
                                    The best.
                                        "The Wolf of Wall Street"
                                    Overrated.
                                        "The Heat"
                            Yes.
                                "Monsters University"
 
2013-12-20 03:32:14 PM  
I wish there were more spaceship movies. I mean there is Star Trek and pretty much nothing else in forever.
 
2013-12-20 03:52:02 PM  
Do you like watching movies about jerks like Adam Sandler or those new fat young guys that all seem to be cloned off of Adam Sandler?

Yes, go to movie theatre.

No, go to bed early.
 
2013-12-20 04:04:39 PM  
Frozen was actually quite good.  Disney really hit their plot timing with it.  Witty, cute, touching, action, a few key plot twists, and good songs (Idina Menzel - of Wicked fame - can really sing and the snowman is hilarious).  Well worth the $10 and arguably the best Disney movie since Lion King.
 
2013-12-20 04:12:47 PM  
If I select drama or comedy, it seems to go down the same tree to Wolf of Wall Street. I think I'll rent a video instead.
 
2013-12-20 06:06:03 PM  
Fail.  Apparently the website doesn't believe that people who don't appreciate witty repartee exist.

It will only allow me to insist that action without clever dialogue makes me feel empty inside.

I revel in that emptiness, dammit.   Especially after a bad day at work and a few shots.
 
2013-12-21 12:02:18 AM  
So if you choose romance it asks you how you like your leading men.

Ok. Gotcha.
 
2013-12-21 12:33:14 AM  
What movie to watch....

Whatever is on the top couple of pages of piratebay sorted by seeds that is in 720p and 5.1 sound and looks sort of interesting
 Also here is a website that organizes movies by "DNA" like Pandora does for songs


http://www.jinni.com/

It tends to confirm my suspicion that I've pretty much seen everything
 
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