lockers: At least he doesn't star in porn.
Lando Lincoln: lockers: At least he doesn't star in porn.I have some bad news for you.
Metaluna Mutant: Your Mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile!
Ghastly: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x433]
ChipNASA: Look here's the real truth.I know this to be fact but I can't tell you *how* I know it.Jesus Christ married Mary Magdalene and fathered a child with her. The child showed, from birth, miraculous powers and capabilities that only Jesus possessed in later life. Santa is actually the immortal child of Jesus and Mary. That is why he has special powers and actually was more powerful than Jesus. Jesus dies to pass on the throne to Santa and to cover his tracks, like a suicide-to-create-a cover-story-religion. You know who actually protected this child of Jesus... Or as others referred to him, the "Holy Grail". That's right, the Knights Templar. LOOK it's right there in front of you. Knights Templar cross (croix pattee ) is red on a white background. Santa's suit is red with white fur trim. The ark of the covenant was actually a mobile STROLLER.... not carrying the bits of the ten commandants tablets but carrying the Baby Santa until he matured enough and was able to fend for himself and set up his home at the North Pole.IT'S SO OBVIOUS.That's why Jesus and Santa are both White and that's where the ties to ancient cultures and deities that predate our modern history stem from and then that all ties back to the Atlanteans and their ties to the aliens that have been visiting and monitoring us since we climbed out of the primordial ooze. (With their help of course)Flying Reindeer? Shiat, Forced Genetic Mutations that have nano technology implanted. Elves? Sheeet. Again, miniature bionic, robotic, nanocelular lifeforms created just to be able to support the industry. I mean, who else can work 24/7 364 days a year without food or water or other necessities??What are they going to eat at the farking North Pole? SNOW?!?!? What are they, mini farking Bear Grylls?? Drink their own PEE to sustain themselves?!?!??Now that's just weird.
fireclown: Metaluna Mutant: Your Mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile!That isn't a TOW missile./hmmph!
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2017 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Mar 30 2017 01:11:04
Runtime: 0.406 sec (405 ms)