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(Mother Nature Network)   So are elves impish spies that sit on shelves. Or are they noble warriors living in Middle Earth? Or are they bearded, blue-clad helpers that brush reindeer teeth?   (mnn.com) divider line 28
    More: Interesting, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, University of Iceland, christmas tradition, unlawful combatants, English Words  
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1688 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2013 at 6:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-20 06:52:13 AM  
*sips coffee and stares blankly*

I...um...the first one?
 
2013-12-20 06:53:51 AM  

rogue_L_chick: *sips coffee and stares blankly*

I...um...the first one?


Right there with you. I was going to make some lame dentist joke from Rudolf, but my heart really is not in this one.
 
2013-12-20 07:05:28 AM  
The article says they date from 2005, but my mother still has her three plastic green-clad, mantle-sitting elves that date to the mid 60s. They are stowed with the tree trimmings. Still creep us out.
 
2013-12-20 07:11:36 AM  
I though elves were slutty myspace whores with bad tattoos?
i634.photobucket.com

/I apologize for subjecting you all to this so early in the morning
 
2013-12-20 07:14:18 AM  
For that matter, what are trolls?
 
2013-12-20 07:16:12 AM  

Mentalpatient87: For that matter, what are trolls?


I guess you have never been to the politics tab. It's where trolls live
 
2013-12-20 07:19:21 AM  

Onkel Buck: I though elves were slutty myspace whores with bad tattoos?


/I apologize for subjecting you all to this so early in the morning


I want the syphilis free version.
 
2013-12-20 07:33:56 AM  
That was actually an interesting read.

/so now I can tell people exactly where elves come from
//or not.
 
2013-12-20 07:40:09 AM  

August11: The article says they date from 2005, but my mother still has her three plastic green-clad, mantle-sitting elves that date to the mid 60s. They are stowed with the tree trimmings. Still creep us out.


2005 would be about the time that someone took a generic christmas figurine, made up a back story and universe for it to live in then copywrited the concept and marketed it.
 
2013-12-20 07:42:32 AM  
"Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies. Elves are glamorous. They project glamour. Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment. Elves are terrific. They beget terror. The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning. No one ever said elves are nice. Elves are bad."

― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
 
2013-12-20 07:44:10 AM  
Regarding the 'Elf on a Shelf" snitching on kids if they'd been 'naughty or nice' to Santa.

My Mother used to tell us kids that "Robins were listening down the chimney" and would inform Santa if we'd been bad or good..

s17.postimg.org
 
2013-12-20 07:48:35 AM  
Elves, known as alp in German, could cause nightmares (Alpdrück), perhaps similar to other mythology surrounding the scary experience of sleep paralysis.

So, this is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps?
 
2013-12-20 07:49:07 AM  
It depends. If the elves are girls they're cute little helpers. If they're men, they're obviously pedophiles that only exist to rape and murder your children.
 
2013-12-20 07:55:50 AM  

abhorrent1: It depends. If the elves are girls they're cute little helpers. If they're men, they're obviously pedophiles that only exist to rape and murder your children.


img.fark.net
 
2013-12-20 08:04:57 AM  

Cerebral Knievel: August11: The article says they date from 2005, but my mother still has her three plastic green-clad, mantle-sitting elves that date to the mid 60s. They are stowed with the tree trimmings. Still creep us out.

2005 would be about the time that someone took a generic christmas figurine, made up a back story and universe for it to live in then copywrited the concept and marketed it.


Ah.
 
2013-12-20 08:05:26 AM  

Once and Future Lurker: "Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder. Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels. Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies. Elves are glamorous. They project glamour. Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment. Elves are terrific. They beget terror. The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning. No one ever said elves are nice. Elves are bad."

― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies


Came for this; leaving satisfied.
 
2013-12-20 08:29:30 AM  
Whatelver
 
2013-12-20 09:03:56 AM  
Everyone knows Elves live in trees and bake cookies all day.
 
2013-12-20 10:05:34 AM  
Text message I got from a friend a couple years ago

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-20 10:20:38 AM  
Elves are Liv Tyler in sexy makeup with her tits out.
 
2013-12-20 10:24:17 AM  
At least we can all agree that dwarves are stout, hairy, alcoholic Scotsmen.
 
2013-12-20 10:55:24 AM  

Silly_Sot: Elves are Liv Tyler in sexy makeup with her tits out.


I demand proof!
 
2013-12-20 11:34:13 AM  

emarche: abhorrent1: It depends. If the elves are girls they're cute little helpers. If they're men, they're obviously pedophiles that only exist to rape and murder your children.

[img.fark.net image 180x220]


Mirkwood elves--heck, elves in general--are arrogant bastards.
 
2013-12-20 03:31:08 PM  

alcanazar: emarche: abhorrent1: It depends. If the elves are girls they're cute little helpers. If they're men, they're obviously pedophiles that only exist to rape and murder your children.

[img.fark.net image 180x220]

Mirkwood elves--heck, elves in general--are arrogant bastards.


Mean Elves:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDUcEhrUwO4&feature=share&list=PLjs2Cg 9 RvlZypmFiZysYZBgnKrqPXOlBa
 
2013-12-20 06:10:43 PM  
That Elf on the Shelf thing... I had a Christmas decoration quite a lot like that in the 1970s. The face and clothing were slightly different, but the elf's pose and proportions were the same.

So now that's a thing?
 
2013-12-20 06:11:52 PM  

Evil Mackerel: Silly_Sot: Elves are Liv Tyler in sexy makeup with her tits out.

I demand proof!


Me too! Preferably in at least 1920x1080 resolution.
 
2013-12-20 06:38:37 PM  
I picture Santa's elves to be like the wizard Saruman's army of uruk-hai:  nasty, vicious, demonic beings held in check only by the power of the saint's piety.  Nicholas subdued an army of demons and put them to work making toys for children.

Because, you know, he's just that bad-ass.
 
2013-12-21 12:24:23 AM  
Actually they're pretty featureless humanoids who live inside mountains and come out at night to steal children... Yay proper mythology!
 
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