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(NBC News)   Shoot, the fella who used to command the Air Force's arsenal of ballistic missiles was fired for having a pretty good weekend in Russia   (usnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 78
    More: Dumbass, air forces, Russia, Global Strike Command, Jim Miklaszewski, U.S. Strategic Command, commanders, ballistic missiles  
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7536 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2013 at 12:16 AM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-19 07:58:29 PM
Congrats General Drunky, you just threw away millions in defense contracting money!
 
2013-12-19 08:21:50 PM
I do wonder how much he drank if the Russians thought it was too much.  Russia and Ireland are the two countries that drinking by the bottle of hard liquor is considered a norm. The only state in the US even close to having similar drinking norms  is northern Wisconsin. Russia is the more depressing and darker and makes the drinking understandable.
 
2013-12-19 09:58:35 PM
The days of the hard drinking, all night party and womanizing military officers are limited.  It's a new world and the dinosaurs are being weeded out.
 
2013-12-19 10:12:58 PM

twistedmetal: The days of the hard drinking, all night party and womanizing military officers are limited.  It's a new world and the dinosaurs are being weeded out.


Well, this may just be a bullsh*t Army story. But, I heard from a friend that at a base in Iraq with a Special Forces unit attached to it, an officer (USSOCOM), at some level, brought in beer and booze for his boys to celebrate someone's birthday. The whole place got drunk and passed the f*ck out. No radio contact, nothing. They sent a drone over and saw people passed out everywhere. Sent messages to the commander and finally got someone who explained what had occurred.

I have serious doubts as to the authenticity of that, even though I 100% trust the guy who told me (there are a LOT of BS Army stories). I just hope, in my heart, that it is true.
 
2013-12-20 12:03:29 AM
But did he keep his precious bodily fluids?
 
2013-12-20 12:17:40 AM
Mandrake, have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?
 
2013-12-20 12:20:22 AM
So he invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin?
 
2013-12-20 12:22:46 AM
Don't say "shoot!"
 
2013-12-20 12:24:10 AM
In other words, Russian Intelligence threw booze and girls at him in the hopes that he would eventually divulge something secret.  This is horrible.  I think what we ought to do is get a bunch of pantzis, load them down with fake intelligence, give them a fancy title, and then send them to Russia, so that Russian intelligence can waste its time, plying them with booze and women, thus revealing the identities of all their honey trap girls.  I would like to volunteer for this mission.  The fact that I am drunk as I write this proves that I am the perfect candidate for the job.
 
2013-12-20 12:25:20 AM

HotWingAgenda: So he invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin?


If you were thinking JFK and Stalin were strippers...
 
2013-12-20 12:25:28 AM
sounds like he was just trying to blend in...
 
2013-12-20 12:25:36 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
A little drinking and fraternising never hurt anybody.
 
2013-12-20 12:28:38 AM

Some Coke Drinking Guy: In other words, Russian Intelligence threw booze and girls at him in the hopes that he would eventually divulge something secret.  This is horrible.  I think what we ought to do is get a bunch of pantzis, load them down with fake intelligence, give them a fancy title, and then send them to Russia, so that Russian intelligence can waste its time, plying them with booze and women, thus revealing the identities of all their honey trap girls.  I would like to volunteer for this mission.  The fact that I am drunk as I write this proves that I am the perfect candidate for the job.


i.huffpost.com
Hear hear!
 
2013-12-20 12:37:53 AM
Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find:
- One forty-five caliber automatic
- Two boxes of ammunition
- Four days' concentrated emergency rations
- One drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- One miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible
- One hundred dollars in rubles
- One hundred dollars in gold
- Nine packs of chewing gum
- One issue of prophylactics
- Three lipsticks
- Three pair of nylon stockings.
Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas Moscow with all that stuff.
 
2013-12-20 12:38:31 AM
content6.flixster.com
 
2013-12-20 12:42:44 AM

twistedmetal: The days of the hard drinking, all night party and womanizing military officers are limited.  It's a new world and the dinosaurs are being weeded out.


This makes me sad for some reason.
 
2013-12-20 12:43:58 AM
Or, as they call it in Russia, Tuesday night.
 
2013-12-20 12:45:23 AM
while leading a U.S. delegation to a nuclear training exercise in Russia

Wait, what??
 
2013-12-20 12:46:25 AM
There have been a few high-level military miscreants exposed recently. Like the Navy procurement officer and this guy.

I hope it is a sign of better enforcement, not better douchebaggery.
 
2013-12-20 12:53:08 AM

meatofmystery: sounds like he was just trying to blend in...


Seriously, why were they harshing his buzz, wtf?
 
2013-12-20 12:54:34 AM
He left some essence in Russia, sounds like.
 
2013-12-20 12:57:12 AM

meatofmystery: sounds like he was just trying to blend in...


Pretty much. He must have hit on the wrong woman or something...
 
2013-12-20 12:59:49 AM

NewportBarGuy: twistedmetal: The days of the hard drinking, all night party and womanizing military officers are limited.  It's a new world and the dinosaurs are being weeded out.

Well, this may just be a bullsh*t Army story. But, I heard from a friend that at a base in Iraq with a Special Forces unit attached to it, an officer (USSOCOM), at some level, brought in beer and booze for his boys to celebrate someone's birthday. The whole place got drunk and passed the f*ck out. No radio contact, nothing. They sent a drone over and saw people passed out everywhere. Sent messages to the commander and finally got someone who explained what had occurred.

I have serious doubts as to the authenticity of that, even though I 100% trust the guy who told me (there are a LOT of BS Army stories). I just hope, in my heart, that it is true.


I smell bullshiat.  My BIL just made full-bird colonel in the army and even though he was a royal farkup when he was younger, he always stresses the one thing you don't do make a mistake that puts everyone else in danger, ever.  Plus, I cannot believe that an entire unit that was already breaking one rule (drinking on base where it's not allowed) would expose themselves by carelessly failing to man the radio.  It's a volunteer army now, not Vietnam.  That's tantamount to an old AOL call center going silent because everyone got drunk at a Christmas party.  It just wouldn't happen, because everyone would get fired.
 
2013-12-20 01:02:51 AM
I've heard that responsibility for nukes is one of the boringest and stressful jobs in the military. They never get to do anything but are always at some level of alert. Enlisted "silo duty" is seen as punishment.
 
2013-12-20 01:03:48 AM
These words in the same sentense make me nervous: "alcohol" and "nuclear".
 
2013-12-20 01:06:03 AM
Good thing we've never at war with eastasia, or this would be more believable.
 
2013-12-20 01:07:33 AM

Bucky Katt: These words in the same sentense make me nervous: "alcohol" and "nuclear".


You're probably mispronouncing nuclear. Stop.
 
2013-12-20 01:09:20 AM

NewportBarGuy: twistedmetal: The days of the hard drinking, all night party and womanizing military officers are limited.  It's a new world and the dinosaurs are being weeded out.

Well, this may just be a bullsh*t Army story. But, I heard from a friend that at a base in Iraq with a Special Forces unit attached to it, an officer (USSOCOM), at some level, brought in beer and booze for his boys to celebrate someone's birthday. The whole place got drunk and passed the f*ck out. No radio contact, nothing. They sent a drone over and saw people passed out everywhere. Sent messages to the commander and finally got someone who explained what had occurred.

I have serious doubts as to the authenticity of that, even though I 100% trust the guy who told me (there are a LOT of BS Army stories). I just hope, in my heart, that it is true.


It's mostly true.  The thing is, they were unwitting subjects of a new secret weapon, which is why they didn't get in trouble. The drone they sent over sprayed the antidote.
 
2013-12-20 01:16:19 AM
He should have stuck to pure, unfiltered spring water.
 
2013-12-20 01:17:06 AM
Or maybe rain water and vodka.
 
2013-12-20 01:17:26 AM

BenJammin: NewportBarGuy: twistedmetal: The days of the hard drinking, all night party and womanizing military officers are limited.  It's a new world and the dinosaurs are being weeded out.

Well, this may just be a bullsh*t Army story. But, I heard from a friend that at a base in Iraq with a Special Forces unit attached to it, an officer (USSOCOM), at some level, brought in beer and booze for his boys to celebrate someone's birthday. The whole place got drunk and passed the f*ck out. No radio contact, nothing. They sent a drone over and saw people passed out everywhere. Sent messages to the commander and finally got someone who explained what had occurred.

I have serious doubts as to the authenticity of that, even though I 100% trust the guy who told me (there are a LOT of BS Army stories). I just hope, in my heart, that it is true.

It's mostly true.  The thing is, they were unwitting subjects of a new secret weapon, which is why they didn't get in trouble. The drone they sent over sprayed the antidote.


That information is double-secret classified, Cpt. Jammin. Have they been using my restricted files for tray covers in the mess hall again?
 
2013-12-20 01:19:29 AM
We've got a Colonel who recently went back to serve another tour. We're glad he's gone, he was a horrible alcoholic, and perv on top of that. He was also totally useless. He had no information of any kind, and if at any point you had to ask a question, you'd get a "deer in headlights" stare and immediately got referred to someone else for the info.

Glad the sack of shiat is gone. Luckily he's going to Germany, not any place where he can do any harm.
 
2013-12-20 01:24:50 AM
Listen, subby BAT GUANO, if that really IS your name: There's nothing anybody can do to return that guy to Russia, so fix me a drink of grain alcohol and rain water and help yourself to anything you'd like.

/A moment please, Mr. President.
//You've obviously never heard of Cobalt-Thorium G.
///Gee, I wish we had one of those Doomsday Machines.
 
2013-12-20 01:33:03 AM

axeeugene: /A moment please, Mr. President.
//You've obviously never heard of Cobalt-Thorium G.
///Gee, I wish we had one of those Doomsday Machines.


Our source was the New York Times.
 
2013-12-20 01:43:12 AM
Was about 3 or 4 headlines past that when the little voice in my head goes "God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore."

\wrong movie?
\ \right actor?
\ \ \ coulda been "Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones."
 
2013-12-20 01:43:15 AM
Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over the intertubes.
 
2013-12-20 01:43:52 AM
Three seconds?  Three?
 
2013-12-20 01:56:03 AM

dprathbun: Three seconds?  Three?


It's almost like nookyooler combat, toe-to-toe with the Rooskies
 
2013-12-20 01:57:44 AM
jaypgreene.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-20 02:04:15 AM
Stay on the bomb run, boys! I'm gonna get this greenlit if it harelips ever'body on Bear Creek!
 
2013-12-20 02:04:53 AM

Thurston Howell: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x361]
A little drinking and fraternising never hurt anybody.


Nope.

Ripper was based off of::http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_S._Power

Turgison was based off LeMay.
 
2013-12-20 02:42:02 AM

NewportBarGuy: Congrats General Drunky, you just threw away millions in defense contracting money!


If I were a betting man, I'd say within the next year or two he will be a regular on the Fox News network.
 
2013-12-20 02:44:30 AM
When in Rome Russia...
 
2013-12-20 02:44:41 AM
Seriously, why are we training Russians how to use their nukes?
 
2013-12-20 02:47:44 AM

fusillade762: Seriously, why are we training Russians how to use their nukes?


Follow the money. Just figure out which congressional district(s) the nukes are manufactured in.
 
2013-12-20 02:47:53 AM

fusillade762: Seriously, why are we training Russians how to use their nukes?


Because they drank too much Vodka and the brain damage caused them to forget
 
2013-12-20 02:50:53 AM
I mean, come on!  Who hasn't had a good weekend in Russia ending up with a massive hangover, a pet siberian tiger and a second wife?  Am I right???  Right???
 
2013-12-20 02:59:45 AM
Sounds like wartime is over.
 
2013-12-20 03:00:05 AM

Some Coke Drinking Guy: In other words, Russian Intelligence threw booze and girls at him in the hopes that he would eventually divulge something secret.  This is horrible.  I think what we ought to do is get a bunch of pantzis, load them down with fake intelligence, give them a fancy title, and then send them to Russia, so that Russian intelligence can waste its time, plying them with booze and women, thus revealing the identities of all their honey trap girls.  I would like to volunteer for this mission.  The fact that I am drunk as I write this proves that I am the perfect candidate for the job.


Some Coke Drinking Guy, if for some reason your cover is blown, and the Russians take you prisoner, well, you'll probably want to take your own life. Here, you'd better have this.

blogs.warwick.ac.uk
 
2013-12-20 03:00:48 AM

fusillade762: Seriously, why are we training Russians how to use their nukes?


I suspect he was part of a delegation observing Russian exercises.
 
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