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(Orlando Sentinel)   Pastor for Christian megachurch died from A) heart attack; B) stroke; C) overdose of heroin and cocaine   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 131
    More: Florida, Christian Centre, w hotel, heroin, cocaine, Apopka, Bishop T.D. Jakes, New York Police Department  
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12260 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2013 at 8:08 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



131 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-19 08:10:34 PM
Pharisees.
 
2013-12-19 08:11:15 PM
Do you really need to say "Christian megachurch"? I can't think of any other religions having a megachurch.

/could be wrong
/probably not that common if I am
/could be wrong on that too
 
2013-12-19 08:11:58 PM
Pope Francis Effect?
 
2013-12-19 08:11:59 PM
As if we needed further evidence that one should never give their money to mega-church

\or any church really, but these guys are the worst
 
2013-12-19 08:13:15 PM
it's C, right? someone said it's always C.
 
2013-12-19 08:15:29 PM
The lord works in mysterious ways.
 
2013-12-19 08:17:20 PM
D) While having gay sex with his meth dealer
 
2013-12-19 08:17:34 PM
d) c pounded into his ass by his secret bear weekend topper
 
2013-12-19 08:18:35 PM
What a Muslim Megachurch may look like

www.sacredsites.com
 
2013-12-19 08:19:54 PM
reading the article it seems this man was open and honest about a rough life and tried to help others with their own pain.

and his Mom wanted to keep the truth of his death cause hidden so she could continue to enjoy the gravy train.
 
2013-12-19 08:20:49 PM
I'm gonna go with A & C.

Not in that order though.
 
2013-12-19 08:21:09 PM
SPEEDBALL!


"He tried hard to heal himself, to fix himself,"

Well, he did get A fix...
 
2013-12-19 08:21:35 PM

ArcadianRefugee: I can't think of any other religions having a megachurch.


You need to travel more.
 
2013-12-19 08:23:25 PM
NTTAWWT? Except for the guilt/extortion foisted on the feeble-minded congregants.
 
2013-12-19 08:26:43 PM
Meh, I'm having a difficult time getting snarky about this one.
 
2013-12-19 08:28:39 PM

whatshisname: D) While having gay sex with his meth dealer


10-year olds are meth dealers now?
 
2013-12-19 08:30:42 PM

JohnCarter: What a Muslim Megachurch may look like


"Mecca Mega Mosque" has that all important alliteration all faiths can enjoy.
 
2013-12-19 08:31:39 PM
How tragic.... No wait I mean the other thing, hilarious.
 
2013-12-19 08:31:50 PM
Just like Brother "Joliet" Jake Blues.
 
2013-12-19 08:32:18 PM

jaytkay: whatshisname: D) While having gay sex with his meth dealer

10-year olds are meth dealers now?


Wrong denomination.

Protestant Spiritual leaders go for teenagers more often.
 
2013-12-19 08:32:52 PM
Government should have brought fish and wine for this individual. Thanks, Obama.
 
2013-12-19 08:34:20 PM

jaytkay: whatshisname: D) While having gay sex with his meth dealer

10-year olds are meth dealers now?


They said he was Christian, not Catholic. "Christian" (i.e., conservative, Protestant, evangelical, prosperity-gospel scam-artist) pastors bang rent boys and/or deacon's wives. 10-year-olds are a priest thing.
 
2013-12-19 08:37:25 PM

JohnCarter: What a Muslim Megachurch may look like

[www.sacredsites.com image 500x375]



ALL HAIL THE TIME CUBE!
 
2013-12-19 08:37:31 PM

jaytkay: whatshisname: D) While having gay sex with his meth dealer

10-year olds are meth dealers now?


There was a particular especially anti-ghey megachurch douche that got caught having ghey buttsecks with his meth dealing boy toy a year or two ago.
 
2013-12-19 08:37:41 PM
Oh! So those are the christian morals that I keep hearing all about.

Hmmm ... having read the bible I expected more slavery and murder. But I guess debauchery fits as well.
 
2013-12-19 08:43:08 PM
spanglishbuffet.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-19 08:46:43 PM
Rockstaring out on coke and booze is fun...coke and heroin your just asking for it.
 
2013-12-19 08:47:40 PM
When you mix heroin and cocaine, do you really need to say "overdose"?  I think history has shown there's no safe amount...
 
2013-12-19 08:48:37 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
2013-12-19 08:50:38 PM
damn, was hoping for Benny Hinn or Joel Osteen.
 
2013-12-19 08:51:15 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Do you really need to say "Christian megachurch"? I can't think of any other religions having a megachurch.

/could be wrong
/probably not that common if I am
/could be wrong on that too


the Mormons have some huge temples and multi-billion dollar businesses.
 
2013-12-19 08:51:44 PM
I guess the speedballs sent him to his Higher Power. Keep coming back!
 
2013-12-19 08:54:04 PM
The coke lasts 10 minutes but the heroin lasts 10 hours so if you're speedballing you'll need 60 times as much coke as heroin. At least there weren't any hookers because they would have never left a dime bag on a dead body.
 
2013-12-19 08:57:48 PM
D) With a ball-gag in his mouth, two rubber wetsuits and a dildo up his ass.

(Rev Gary Aldridge coroner's report)
 
2013-12-19 08:58:56 PM

Hobodeluxe: the Mormons have some huge temples


www.pleated-jeans.com
 
2013-12-19 08:59:31 PM

NutWrench: D) With a ball-gag in his mouth, two rubber wetsuits and a dildo up his ass.

(Rev Gary Aldridge coroner's report)


Two words: Closed casket.
 
2013-12-19 09:00:42 PM

JohnCarter: What a Muslim Megachurch may look like


The entire city is a "megachurch". They won't even let non-believers into it.
pakeezahs.files.wordpress.com
 
GCD
2013-12-19 09:00:48 PM
I know a guy who is a pastor or a minister...or whatever you want to call him...I prefer to call him DOUCHEBAG though.

The guy was everything that was wrong with religion and then some.

He regularly lied to his then-girlfriend, now-wife about virtually everything under the sun.

She was 100% against alcohol. He secretly drank. He also used to tell her that the booze she found belonged to other people. Ironically, at the time, I didn't give a damn (and still don't) about what she thought about me, so I regularly raised the hand as the "owner" of the stuff. She'd lose her mind, flip out and tell me I was going to hell...I'd usually get a free beer or two out of the deal.

So, that's sketchy behavior as is...however, it gets better. Since we were "immoral heathens", it wasn't uncommon for us to go out on Friday and/or Saturday night.

Mr. Religious would often join us...but only after he called up the missus and told her that he was going to bed or watching the game or some other excuse...and then he'd be joining us at the clubs...Where he would often attempt to pick up other women. It wasn't uncommon to see him making out with another chick on the dance floor.

The guy was a total sleezebag. Everything about him was greasy and douchebaggy.

That's just the kind of person that you want to preach about religion to you, isn't it?!?
 
2013-12-19 09:01:03 PM
Craziest party I ever went to (or nearly) was with some Christians. Tequila shots, gravity bong, and a long discussion on the esoteric meaning of the gospels with illustrations done on the wall.
 
2013-12-19 09:02:09 PM
Surprisingly not Joel Osteen.
 
2013-12-19 09:02:21 PM
When he was young, he beat people out of their money.  When he grew older and wiser, he learned how to talk it out of them.  Same shiat, different way.  Stealing is stealing.
 
2013-12-19 09:06:01 PM
static.someecards.com

Seriously, people who willingly give these douchebags money, did you think he died because God loved him too much?

Religion: The only place where fraud makes you a millionaire and you can't be imprisoned for it.
 
2013-12-19 09:07:19 PM

NutWrench: D) With a ball-gag in his mouth, two rubber wetsuits and a dildo up his ass.

(Rev Gary Aldridge coroner's report)


Shoot a feller could have a good weekend in vegas with all that.
 
2013-12-19 09:13:30 PM

FatherChaos: [static.someecards.com image 420x294]

Seriously, people who willingly give these douchebags money, did you think he died because God loved him too much?

Religion: The only place where fraud makes you a millionaire and you can't be imprisoned for it.


There has been a few busted over the years for fraud.
 
2013-12-19 09:14:05 PM
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to obtain
He plants His footsteps in the sea
Kills his chosen with cocaine
 
2013-12-19 09:14:36 PM

Hobodeluxe: ArcadianRefugee: Do you really need to say "Christian megachurch"? I can't think of any other religions having a megachurch.

/could be wrong
/probably not that common if I am
/could be wrong on that too

the Mormons have some huge temples and multi-billion dollar businesses.


Mormons are Christians, too, despite what most non-Mormon Christians would say on the matter.

/the same could be said of all sects of Christianity
//what is a man?
 
2013-12-19 09:14:57 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Do you really need to say "Christian megachurch"? I can't think of any other religions having a megachurch.

/could be wrong
/probably not that common if I am
/could be wrong on that too


Having lived down the road from a Sikh Temple I can tell you that thing qualifies.
 
2013-12-19 09:15:38 PM

Shadi: JohnCarter: What a Muslim Megachurch may look like

The entire city is a "megachurch". They won't even let non-believers into it.
[pakeezahs.files.wordpress.com image 850x564]


step 1: obtain ultralight, feral hogs, and massive amounts of ex-lax
step 2: aerial swine diarrhea bombardment.
step 3: get murdered.
 
GBB
2013-12-19 09:15:44 PM
 
2013-12-19 09:19:30 PM

MFAWG: ArcadianRefugee: Do you really need to say "Christian megachurch"? I can't think of any other religions having a megachurch.

/could be wrong
/probably not that common if I am
/could be wrong on that too

Having lived down the road from a Sikh Temple I can tell you that thing qualifies.


data2.whicdn.com

/picture or address of Sikh temple please (for google maps streetview)
 
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