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(NBC News)   Besides WalMart, the KKK and Honey Boo Boo, what has the South ever given to us? Sh*tty drivers?   (usnews.nbcnews.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, people from Louisiana, National Motorists Association, United States, traffic fatalities  
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4431 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2013 at 12:23 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



207 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-19 10:17:06 AM  
i47.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-19 10:19:43 AM  
OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored
 
2013-12-19 10:24:52 AM  

BunkoSquad: OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored


This.

And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!
 
2013-12-19 10:27:59 AM  

enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!


Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.
 
2013-12-19 10:28:01 AM  
We gave you Dolly Parton. What else do you want?
 
2013-12-19 10:30:30 AM  
who is this "us" you speak of??
 
2013-12-19 10:31:31 AM  
What a sh*tty southern driver might look like
www.bellazon.com
 
2013-12-19 10:40:36 AM  
FREEBIRD!
 
2013-12-19 10:45:35 AM  

enry: BunkoSquad: OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored

This.

And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!


BOURBON!!!!!
 
2013-12-19 10:55:48 AM  
Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.
 
2013-12-19 11:02:49 AM  

BunkoSquad: enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!

Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.


That stuff is called "corn."
 
2013-12-19 11:03:57 AM  

dj_bigbird: Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.


Started in Pulaski Tennessee. Big in the South during Reconstruction.
 
2013-12-19 11:04:28 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: What a sh*tty southern driver might look like
[www.bellazon.com image 300x377]


I'm not saying I'm a good driver...but I've never done this.
cdn.bleacherreport.net
cdn.bleacherreport.net
cdn.bleacherreport.net
 
2013-12-19 11:05:02 AM  

Nabb1: BunkoSquad: enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!

Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.

That stuff is called "corn."


I've had corn. Corn is good. I don't know why you'd take perfectly good corn and do something to it that makes it taste like devil grout.
 
2013-12-19 11:05:51 AM  

Nabb1: Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.

That stuff is called "corn."


Well, what do you know. Even Satan can't digest that corn when he goes to the bathroom.
 
2013-12-19 11:06:42 AM  

stpauler: MaudlinMutantMollusk: What a sh*tty southern driver might look like
[www.bellazon.com image 300x377]

I'm not saying I'm a good driver...but I've never done this.
[cdn.bleacherreport.net image 350x350]
[cdn.bleacherreport.net image 350x236]
[cdn.bleacherreport.net image 350x304]


Well, in fairness, he did have a little help

/I give him points just for surviving
 
2013-12-19 11:08:26 AM  
Don't forget about sweet tea.
 
2013-12-19 11:11:53 AM  
We've given you good food, bourbon, William Faulkner, Tom Wolfe, iced tea, girls in sundresses, the blues and jazz, and won the Revolution against England.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-12-19 11:13:36 AM  
Gone with the Wind.  We wouldn't have had that if not for the Civil War.
 
2013-12-19 11:14:50 AM  
Scrapple, cracklin', pecan pie, bbq, country ham, Savannah, Charleston, and annoyed women using the phrase "well, bless your heart" when they actually mean "go fark yourself, you piece of shiat."

Those are the main contributions.
 
2013-12-19 11:20:04 AM  

BunkoSquad: enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!

Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.


The truth about grits...they are the South's tofu. I hated them, too, the first time I tried them. They were bland, tasteless, and had the consistency of glue. Then a helpful southern lady told me I was doing it wrong, they need to be "doctored up right". And sure 'nuff...once you put enough milk, sugar, salt, pepper, cheese, bacon, sausage chunks, eggs, and butter (tons of butter) grits are absolutely delicious.
 
2013-12-19 11:21:08 AM  

kid_icarus: And sure 'nuff...once you put enough milk, sugar, salt, pepper, cheese, bacon, sausage chunks, eggs, and butter (tons of butter) grits are absolutely delicious.


Those things are even better if you remove the grits.
 
2013-12-19 11:24:35 AM  

Pocket Ninja: kid_icarus: And sure 'nuff...once you put enough milk, sugar, salt, pepper, cheese, bacon, sausage chunks, eggs, and butter (tons of butter) grits are absolutely delicious.

Those things are even better if you remove the grits.


Granted. But then you have to list all those food items separately when people asked what you had for breakfast.
 
2013-12-19 11:27:10 AM  

Nabb1: and won the Revolution against England.


Don't you mean the French?
 
2013-12-19 11:27:12 AM  

kid_icarus: But then you have to list all those food items separately when people asked what you had for breakfast.


Not if you cook yourself a country skillet breakfast, you don't. Which is another great southern innovation that I neglected to mention.
 
2013-12-19 11:29:49 AM  

kid_icarus: Granted. But then you have to list all those food items separately when people asked what you had for breakfast.


"Omelette"

You can even leave off the "te" if you don't want to be accused of Frenchness
 
2013-12-19 11:31:23 AM  
Oh hell no. Some of the best sex I've ever had were men from the south.
 
2013-12-19 11:37:58 AM  

kid_icarus: BunkoSquad: enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!

Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.

The truth about grits...they are the South's tofu. I hated them, too, the first time I tried them. They were bland, tasteless, and had the consistency of glue. Then a helpful southern lady told me I was doing it wrong, they need to be "doctored up right". And sure 'nuff...once you put enough milk, sugar, salt, pepper, cheese, bacon, sausage chunks, eggs, and butter (tons of butter) grits are absolutely delicious.


Yeah man, Waffle House style

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-12-19 11:39:01 AM  

Godscrack: Oh hell no. Some of the best sex I've ever had were men from the south.


You're welcome.
 
2013-12-19 11:42:16 AM  

sammyk: Yeah man, Waffle House style


Speaking of Waffle House...I've been to a few on road trips through the South. Is there any Waffle House location where the staff isn't on the verge of a suicide pact?
 
2013-12-19 11:44:47 AM  
Grits, done poorly and improperly seasoned or not seasoned at all, are awful. And that's probably how most people who don't like them have had them. Instant grits are appallingly bad. No true Southerner should eat them unless you are in the midst of a natural disaster. Grits should be stone ground, and cooked low and slow, stirred often. Seasoning is essential, so you have to use salt, and don't skimp on it. A bit of butter and a bit of black pepper go a long way. If cooked well, they have a smooth, almost polenta-like texture. I like to mix scrambled eggs into mine, but occasionally, I will stir in a bit of spicy head cheese. Yes, head cheese. I know add copious amounts of cheese to grits is all the rage in some restaurants, but I think this is a mistake. Good creamy grits can stand on their own.
 
2013-12-19 11:46:30 AM  

Snowrise: [i47.photobucket.com image 800x600]


I don't know why, but that made me think of Milo Minderbinder.
 
2013-12-19 11:48:23 AM  
YEEEEEEE---HAW!

www.dukesonline.com
 
2013-12-19 12:02:36 PM  
You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...
 
2013-12-19 12:11:40 PM  

BunkoSquad: sammyk: Yeah man, Waffle House style

Speaking of Waffle House...I've been to a few on road trips through the South. Is there any Waffle House location where the staff isn't on the verge of a suicide pact?


You should see the graveyard shift that deals with drunk people that closed the bars. In that circumstance WH is freaking delicious.

Why yes I have hooked up at the Waffle House at 3AM. Don't judge!
 
2013-12-19 12:15:19 PM  
Grits are an elaborate prank played on Northerners in retaliation for us losing the Civil War.  None of us actually eat that crap when you guys aren't looking.
 
2013-12-19 12:27:03 PM  
The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

LOLWUT?
 
2013-12-19 12:27:33 PM  
Comfort food!
 
2013-12-19 12:28:30 PM  
conservativeangle.com
 
2013-12-19 12:29:44 PM  
What about Iced Tea and Bass Fishing on TV?
 
2013-12-19 12:30:20 PM  

doyner: The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

LOLWUT?


DC is safe because no car is moving at a speed faster than a brisk walking pace.
 
2013-12-19 12:30:29 PM  
The blues, rock n roll, BBQ, the first heart transplant, hot women, boobies for beads, bourbon, sweet tea, literature, etc. etc.

And Walter Payton.
 
2013-12-19 12:31:29 PM  

doyner: The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

LOLWUT?


Cars are pretty safe when they aren't moving very often.
 
2013-12-19 12:32:05 PM  
The south is truly a cultureless backwater. Please, never come here.
 
2013-12-19 12:32:12 PM  

doyner: The safest states:
District of Columbia

LOLWUT?


Depends a lot on how much weight you give factors like 'deaths' over 'low-speed crashes'.  Very few people die in 25mph crashes at weird-angle intersections in the District (though they may get shot waiting for the tow truck).  And restricting it to the District means that the Beltway is entirely excluded.
 
2013-12-19 12:32:15 PM  

dj_bigbird: Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.


Nope. The first Hooded Order was founded in Tennessee, the second Hooded Order in Atlanta. The founding fathers were "six well educated confederate veterans". The KKK is solidly South.
 
2013-12-19 12:32:40 PM  

toraque: Grits are an elaborate prank played on Northerners in retaliation for us losing the Civil War.  None of us actually eat that crap when you guys aren't looking.


Who is "us"? Are you from Atlanta or something?
 
2013-12-19 12:32:57 PM  
In all fairness, Southerners would be much better drivers if not for alcohol.
 
2013-12-19 12:33:07 PM  
Rock and Roll.
 
2013-12-19 12:34:53 PM  

hubiestubert: You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...


Funny how all of the North Eastern libs flee down to the south once they are old.

This list had no credibility. DC drivers are the worst.
 
2013-12-19 12:36:06 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

I'd add a picture of Elvis as well, but then I'd want to add Robert Johnson, Bessie Smith, Janis Joplin, Ace Cannon... dang, the list is huge....
 
2013-12-19 12:36:26 PM  
Coca-Cola
 
2013-12-19 12:37:10 PM  
The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

/pussies
 
2013-12-19 12:39:06 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The south is truly a cultureless backwater. Please, never come here.


You must be from New Orleans.
 
2013-12-19 12:41:44 PM  

Nemo's Brother: This list had no credibility. DC drivers are the worst.


That's balderdash. DC drivers are safer than any other drivers in the world, because DC drivers never move.

More seriously, if DC doesn't even crack the top ten for worst drivers, then something is truly, seriously, horribly wrong with this survey's methodology.
 
2013-12-19 12:42:57 PM  
www.fitsnews.com

xahlee.org
 
2013-12-19 12:43:09 PM  

Nabb1: Cars are pretty safe when they aren't moving very often.


Your car has already been jacked and is being ripped apart in the chop shop.  You are unlikely to die in a car accident now.  You're welcome.
 
2013-12-19 12:43:16 PM  
Repeat threads?
 
2013-12-19 12:44:10 PM  

Pocket Ninja: kid_icarus: And sure 'nuff...once you put enough milk, sugar, salt, pepper, cheese, bacon, sausage chunks, eggs, and butter (tons of butter) grits are absolutely delicious.

Those things are even better if you remove the grits.


You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam....
 
2013-12-19 12:44:57 PM  
Black people. The south gave you a culturally disctinct population of black people in America.

If you don't like the south, you're probably racist.
 
2013-12-19 12:45:06 PM  
i1.cpcache.com

img4.southernliving.com
 
2013-12-19 12:46:15 PM  

enry: BunkoSquad: OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored

This.

And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!


And the Bill of Rights. And the Declaration of Independence. And the Constitution. Also, baton twirling.
 
2013-12-19 12:46:17 PM  
If you ask a Southerner, they will insist that all of the bad drivers are those carpetbagging Yankees that I can only reason have moved to Mississippi to steal their lucrative dirt farming and meth cooking jobs.
 
2013-12-19 12:47:00 PM  
under a mountain:

Well, if we're going with a theme....

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-19 12:48:08 PM  

BunkoSquad: OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored


Technically that came from slaves on the Carribean Islands.
 
2013-12-19 12:48:18 PM  

Rapmaster2000: If you ask a Southerner, they will insist that all of the bad drivers are those carpetbagging Yankees that I can only reason have moved to Mississippi to steal their lucrative dirt farming and meth cooking jobs.


Nah, we've got some pretty shiatty drivers, and I've said for 17 years that Louisiana has to be the worst of all the places I've lived.
 
2013-12-19 12:48:30 PM  
Most of the bad drivers in NC are atually from New York
 
2013-12-19 12:49:42 PM  
Besides Bourbon (Thank you, Rev. Elias) and it's cousin Tennesse Whisky, a lot of nationally known soft drinks were created here.

Coca Cola-Atlanta
Royal Crown-Columbus, GA
Pepsi-Raleigh, NC (betcha didn't realize that)
Dr. Pepper-Texas
Nehi-Columbus
Barq's-New Orleans
 
2013-12-19 12:49:46 PM  

Elegy: under a mountain:

Well, if we're going with a theme....

[i.imgur.com image 300x225]


Today's Theme:  Southern White Working-Class Ass.
 
2013-12-19 12:49:54 PM  

RexTalionis: Nabb1: Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.

That stuff is called "corn."

Well, what do you know. Even Satan can't digest that corn when he goes to the bathroom.


Haveing been on shiat burning detail in the military I can also tell you it doesnt burn either.
 
2013-12-19 12:49:55 PM  
NASCAR?
 
2013-12-19 12:51:58 PM  

Zeb Hesselgresser: [i1.cpcache.com image 225x225]

[img4.southernliving.com image 500x500]




I don't know what kinda pie that is but it not key lime.
 
2013-12-19 12:52:11 PM  
If cars not moving is the standard why isn't Seattle WA top of the list?   Monday:  evening commute 5+ hours.  Tuesday:  evening  2.5 hours.  Wednesday: 3 hours.

moring commute  Monday:  32 min.   Tuesday: 45 min (bus)  Wednesday:  28min.  Thursday 25min.

no I cannot explain why it takes so long to get out of the City while getting into Seattle is so easy.
 
2013-12-19 12:52:25 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Elegy: under a mountain:

Well, if we're going with a theme....

[i.imgur.com image 300x225]

Today's Theme:  Southern White Working-Class Ass.


I'm okay with this.
 
2013-12-19 12:53:38 PM  

Nabb1: We've given you good food, bourbon, William Faulkner, Tom Wolfe, iced tea, girls in sundresses, the blues and jazz, and won the Revolution against England.


If you don't count Virginians, there was not much happening during the Revolutionary war.
 
2013-12-19 12:54:06 PM  

MJMaloney187: dj_bigbird: Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.

Nope. The first Hooded Order was founded in Tennessee, the second Hooded Order in Atlanta. The founding fathers were "six well educated confederate veterans". The KKK is solidly South.


And it started as a Conferderate Widows Benevolent society.  After they got the families taken care of, they had to find something else to justify their existence.
 
2013-12-19 12:54:09 PM  

ThighsofGlory: enry: BunkoSquad: OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored

This.

And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!

And the Bill of Rights. And the Declaration of Independence. And the Constitution. Also, baton twirling.


Baton twirling champions...

img23.imageshack.us
 
2013-12-19 12:54:34 PM  
What has the South given us? A culture in which resentment over people calling out one's bad behavior -- slavery, massive racism -- and contradictory values -- traitors extolling their own "patriotism"  -- isn't seen as psychopathic.
 
2013-12-19 12:55:11 PM  
The south also has perfected the art of frying food like chicken that isn't chicken. Your welcome.
 
2013-12-19 12:55:40 PM  
For the record, you anti-South windbags can thank Billy Bob Clinton for Wal-Mart. Watershed trade agreements with China anyone? Anyone?

You went and made a Southerner your King. And not just any Southerner ... you guys adopted the hustlingest hustler that ever hustled since Huey Long. You're welcome.
 
2013-12-19 12:57:02 PM  
Besides WalMart, the KKK and Honey Boo Boo, what has the South ever given to us? Sh*tty drivers?

Don't forget the Democrat Party who created the KKK.
 
2013-12-19 12:58:04 PM  

MJMaloney187: For the record, you anti-South windbags can thank Billy Bob Clinton for Wal-Mart. Watershed trade agreements with China anyone? Anyone?

You went and made a Southerner your King. And not just any Southerner ... you guys adopted the hustlingest hustler that ever hustled since Huey Long. You're welcome.


He was pretty slick.
 
2013-12-19 12:58:35 PM  

Onkel Buck: Most of the bad drivers in NC are actually from New York


This


Although, this time of year just sucks for driving...gotta buy stuff...for Jesus...or something

csb
Saw a wreck last Friday across from work...small SUV pulled out in traffic trying to make a left....ended up hitting 3 cars in the street, jumped the curb and landed on top of a parked car. Tow company had to get a big ass crane to clean up the mess.
/csb
 
2013-12-19 12:58:51 PM  
California is the nation's 2nd leading cotton producer. Just sayin'
 
2013-12-19 01:00:08 PM  
Ugh. Hot girls with southern accents.
 
2013-12-19 01:00:19 PM  
The South's greatest contributions to American and world culture:

1. Black people. Let's face it, they would never have domesticated themselves if it had been left up to them and New England. My guess is that they'd have all stayed in Africa without slavery because let's face it, the weather in New England is shiatty, almost as shiatty as the weather here in Eastern Canada.

Anything you can think of that black people have contributed to our world (music, dance, coolness, voodoo, bling-bling, comedy, etc.) has come from the South. That includes Jazz, the Blues, modern dance, Rock, Funk, etc. It also includes all uses for the peanut (George Washington Carver) except for the obvious one, peanut butter, which was invented by a white Southern doctor. Young people can't walk, dance or talk nowadays without referencing some black guy who did it first and did it better.

2. Horrible, horrible, irresistible food. The South gave us almost all of the junk food. Off the top of my head I can only think of chewing gum (New England) and potato chips (Saratogo chips, Saratoga, New York.

imgc.artprintimages.com


The New Yorker Cartoonist Roz Chast divided food up into four food groups: silly food, company food, regular food and remorse food. Almost all of the really silly food comes from the South or the Mid-West. I expect a lot of the remorse food does also. The South is also really big on company food and regular food, but we've all got that stuff.

The South's great contributions include Bar-B-Que, Louisiana French Provincial, and several other cuisines, and they in turn flowed into Tex-Mex and Californian Fusion. White Trash cookery is not limited to the South, but it is totally at home there.

3. Drink. Horrible, horrible drink.
The South is the home and native land of American booze. You should instantly think of Jack Daniels and Bourbon generally, as well as moonshine and rye whiskey. True, these came from other countries but then so did Motherhood, hotdogs and apple pie. The South made something else out of them. Hey, you even have streets named after them: Bourbon Street, New Orleans. Just kidding. It is named after the Bourbon dynasty. The booze is probably named after the street.

4. Plantation fantasies about Old Times that Can Not be Forgotten, Look Away, Look Away.
Yes, you can find those lovely old Queen Anne style plantation houses in Russia. You can even find the insane culture inside those great houses. But the romance of the South (although much of it is somewhat lopsided and uneven, especially for people of African ancestry) is an export of some popularity, especially in cheap paper back or movie form.

5. Soft drinks.
The American soft drink (aka dope, Coke, Pepsi, etc.) is largely a Southern phenomenon. And until recently only Southerners drank sugar water at breakfast. But without the Bible belt and Calvinism and radioactive levels of alcoholism and teetotalitarianism, there'd be no soft drinks, Prohibition, cocktails, or Planters' Punch (not a soft drink, although it contains everything but the still and the kitchen sink).

And so it goes, and so it goes.

The South is largely a backward step, a millstone around America's progressive, liberal and go-ahead neck. But it has its bright moments, although some of them are tawdry, silly, honky-tonky or dumb.

6. Comedy and Tragi-Comedy
Also, almost all of the white comedians are Jews, Southerners, Canadians or gay. If it weren't for the South, America would have nothing but damned Puritans and Cowboys. Thanks to the South, it has a deep deep streak of insanity. Still, you have to laugh, don't you?

It's easy to love black America's great contributions to our happiness (and thanks for all the unpaid person-years, thanks a billion!) The slaves were worth $4.5 billion when the Civil War started, so you know they have added value to America. But the white Southerners have also made their own hap-hazard contributions. To tell the truth, some of them can be pretty sweet.

It's easy to tell a lot of them are descended from Irish-Scots, but the Southern climate has add a degree of volatility and eccentricity and that isn't all a bad thing.
 
2013-12-19 01:02:27 PM  

Nabb1: Rapmaster2000: Elegy: under a mountain:

Well, if we're going with a theme....

[i.imgur.com image 300x225]

Today's Theme:  Southern White Working-Class Ass.

I'm okay with this.


They actually could be Yankees.  Southern Indiana has more Confederate flag related merchandise than the South, but with the more pronounced socioeconomic implications.
 
2013-12-19 01:03:22 PM  

BunkoSquad: OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored


Unless you're talking about North Carolina "BBQ", then you and your vinegar can just FOAD.
 
2013-12-19 01:03:23 PM  
Daisy.  Duke.  Shorts.  (drops mike, raises arms above head, walks off stage)
 
2013-12-19 01:04:04 PM  

Nabb1: toraque: Grits are an elaborate prank played on Northerners in retaliation for us losing the Civil War.  None of us actually eat that crap when you guys aren't looking.

Who is "us"? Are you from Atlanta or something?


*snert*

Had grits, over easy eggs, and sausage on Sunday morning.

When there's about 1/3 of each left they all get pushed into a delicious pile that is then scooped onto toast.
 
2013-12-19 01:04:50 PM  
The best things to come out of the South:

Comfort food
Blues and rock
Huge cotton

If you'll notice the ethnic group responsible for all of that...

Nabb1: Grits, done poorly and improperly seasoned or not seasoned at all, are awful.


Grits are a lot like rice in that way (and every other plain grain).  You can eat it by itself properly seasoned, it sucks just plain boiled by itself, and is best used as a base for other things on/in it.
 
2013-12-19 01:05:01 PM  
Georgia gives us peaches, Florida gives us oranges, and Texas gives us comic relief
 
2013-12-19 01:05:22 PM  

brantgoose: The South's greatest contributions to American and world culture:

1. Black people. Let's face it, they would never have domesticated themselves if it had been left up to them and New England. My guess is that they'd have all stayed in Africa without slavery because let's face it, the weather in New England is shiatty, almost as shiatty as the weather here in Eastern Canada.

Anything you can think of that black people have contributed to our world (music, dance, coolness, voodoo, bling-bling, comedy, etc.) has come from the South. That includes Jazz, the Blues, modern dance, Rock, Funk, etc. It also includes all uses for the peanut (George Washington Carver) except for the obvious one, peanut butter, which was invented by a white Southern doctor. Young people can't walk, dance or talk nowadays without referencing some black guy who did it first and did it better.

2. Horrible, horrible, irresistible food. The South gave us almost all of the junk food. Off the top of my head I can only think of chewing gum (New England) and potato chips (Saratogo chips, Saratoga, New York.

[imgc.artprintimages.com image 366x488]


The New Yorker Cartoonist Roz Chast divided food up into four food groups: silly food, company food, regular food and remorse food. Almost all of the really silly food comes from the South or the Mid-West. I expect a lot of the remorse food does also. The South is also really big on company food and regular food, but we've all got that stuff.

The South's great contributions include Bar-B-Que, Louisiana French Provincial, and several other cuisines, and they in turn flowed into Tex-Mex and Californian Fusion. White Trash cookery is not limited to the South, but it is totally at home there.

3. Drink. Horrible, horrible drink.
The South is the home and native land of American booze. You should instantly think of Jack Daniels and Bourbon generally, as well as moonshine and rye whiskey. True, these came from other countries but then so did Motherhood, hotdog ...


Jim Goad?!
 
2013-12-19 01:05:39 PM  
bourbon
jazz music
blues
rock and roll
literature
food

/ so, basically, all of the good things in america.
 
2013-12-19 01:05:44 PM  

Nemo's Brother: hubiestubert: You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...

Funny how all of the North Eastern libs flee down to the south once they are old.

This list had no credibility. DC drivers are the worst.



I beg to differ. We have 30 times more cars on the road than most of these places and they're all confined to a relatively small area (the Beltway) and yet, we manage to stay on the road for the most part.
 
2013-12-19 01:05:47 PM  

propasaurus: BunkoSquad: OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored

Unless you're talking about North Carolina "BBQ", then you and your vinegar can just FOAD.




Your right. Everybody knows the best BBQ is KC style. Slap some cheesy corn on the side
 
2013-12-19 01:05:52 PM  
Everything in the south isn't all bad...

img856.imageshack.us
 
2013-12-19 01:06:09 PM  
Ranking by insurance premiums is silly, that isn't ranking the ability to drive, that is ranking the amount of money it costs to drive

How about we rank them by the number of accidents caused by people holding a license from that state, that would be a better stat to use here.
 
2013-12-19 01:06:30 PM  
wfiles.brothersoft.com
 
2013-12-19 01:06:43 PM  

Elegy: Black people. The south gave you a culturally disctinct population of black people in America.

If you don't like the south, you're probably racist.


Oh, please, there are black people in the northeast. They just keep them tucked away in small little pockets and separated from the decent blue blooded folks.
 
2013-12-19 01:06:54 PM  
BunkoSquad: OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored.

You mean, the cooking method invented by Taino indians in the Caribbean? That BBQ?
 
2013-12-19 01:08:05 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The south is truly a cultureless backwater. Please, never come here.



Yes, please stay right where you are, since we're so crappy and all you aren't missing anything.
 
2013-12-19 01:09:24 PM  

hubiestubert: You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...


Especially Connecticut.

And, just for the record, cute girls with a North Carolina accent give me wood just by saying "Hi".
 
2013-12-19 01:10:11 PM  

dabbletech: The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

/pussies


No need for a permit to carry concealed in Vermont.
 
2013-12-19 01:10:14 PM  

Kipple: [upload.wikimedia.org image 800x533]

I'd add a picture of Elvis as well, but then I'd want to add Robert Johnson, Bessie Smith, Janis Joplin, Ace Cannon... dang, the list is huge....


userserve-ak.last.fm

yes it is
 
2013-12-19 01:10:49 PM  
Rubbish.  I've been through all of the top 10 except MT and ND, and I can honestly say that the drivers in the South know how to get shiat moving.  Nothing more irritating than a left-lane driver, and I see that shiat more often than not up here in WI and Midwest in general.

This study is biased towards automobile deaths, DUIs, and citations.  All this proves is that the southern states are better at ticketing their shiatty drivers.  That is all.
 
2013-12-19 01:11:00 PM  

Nemo's Brother: hubiestubert: You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...

Funny how all of the North Eastern libs flee down to the south once they are old.

This list had no credibility. DC drivers are the worst.


South of Gainesville no-longer counts as the south, DC is bad, but most people live around DC. Ohio drivers are the worst
 
2013-12-19 01:11:26 PM  

stpauler: MaudlinMutantMollusk: What a sh*tty southern driver might look like
[www.bellazon.com image 300x377]

I'm not saying I'm a good driver...but I've never done this.
[cdn.bleacherreport.net image 350x350]
[cdn.bleacherreport.net image 350x236]
[cdn.bleacherreport.net image 350x304]


cdn.bleacherreport.net

^ that guy's from Michigan
 
2013-12-19 01:12:52 PM  
Well the north (and Kenya) gave us Obama and it's impossible to top the shiattyness of that, so....
 
2013-12-19 01:15:19 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Elegy: Black people. The south gave you a culturally disctinct population of black people in America.

If you don't like the south, you're probably racist.

Oh, please, there are black people in the northeast. They just keep them tucked away in small little pockets and separated from the decent blue blooded folks.


Come to New Haven CT, Yale is the only thing from keeping this place from being the "Chocolate City" of the north!
 
2013-12-19 01:18:06 PM  
List fails without Utah.
 
2013-12-19 01:18:45 PM  

theknuckler_33: hubiestubert: You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...

Especially Connecticut.

And, just for the record, cute girls with a North Carolina accent give me wood just by saying "Hi".


I think that Massachusetts drivers are much worse than Connecticut's
 
2013-12-19 01:19:21 PM  
Baptists and boozers. Thank you for the boozers. You can keep the Baptists. Except for the real good ones.
 
2013-12-19 01:19:31 PM  
...top 10 most awfully rude and inconsiderate drivers even
 
2013-12-19 01:20:04 PM  
I can't believe Ohio didn't make the list of bad drivers. If there are drivers worse than Buckeyes.... I hope I never run into them... I don't want them running into me, either.
 
2013-12-19 01:20:11 PM  

Nabb1: toraque: Grits are an elaborate prank played on Northerners in retaliation for us losing the Civil War.  None of us actually eat that crap when you guys aren't looking.

Who is "us"? Are you from Atlanta or something?


I live in Atlanta.  Among the locals I hang out with, none of us like grits.
 
2013-12-19 01:20:42 PM  
Yes, yes, northerners are the best drivers in the world.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-19 01:21:16 PM  

smoky2010: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Elegy: Black people. The south gave you a culturally disctinct population of black people in America.

If you don't like the south, you're probably racist.

Oh, please, there are black people in the northeast. They just keep them tucked away in small little pockets and separated from the decent blue blooded folks.

Come to New Haven CT, Yale is the only thing from keeping this place from being the "Chocolate City" of the north!


Referring to New Haven as a "chocolate city" kinda proves my point, considering it's what, 10% African American? I'd never refer to my city as a "chocolate city" even though it's 30% African American.

Kinda crazy that northerners think 10% black population is large enough to label it a chocolate city.
 
2013-12-19 01:21:23 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: What a sh*tty southern driver might look like
[www.bellazon.com image 300x377]


Why yes, the whole office is looking at me.
 
2013-12-19 01:21:49 PM  

theknuckler_33: hubiestubert: You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...

Especially Connecticut.

And, just for the record, cute girls with a North Carolina accent give me wood just by saying "Hi".


Shaking a man's pecker while they say "Hi" will usually do that.

/Now girls around backwater Shreveport...
 
2013-12-19 01:23:22 PM  
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Elegy: Black people. The south gave you a culturally disctinct population of black people in America.

If you don't like the south, you're probably racist.

Oh, please, there are black people in the northeast. They just keep them tucked away in small little pockets and separated from the decent blue blooded folks.


Too true. NY, NY.

static1.businessinsider.com

The red dots show white people, blue is black, orange is Hispanic, green is Asian, and yellow is other, according to maps of 2010 Census data by Eric Fischer.
 
2013-12-19 01:24:00 PM  

phillydrifter: Ugh. Hot girls with southern accents.


Instead of saying "did you cum?" they say "did ya'll cum?"
 
2013-12-19 01:24:15 PM  

cowgirl toffee: What about Iced Tea and Bass Fishing on TV?


I thought Iced Tea was from Compton, CA
 
2013-12-19 01:32:52 PM  
As someone who just finished eating some  beef roast dry rubbed in coarse pepper, salt, chili powder, granulated onion then smoked in mesquite with water, wine and lemon as a steaming liquid, may I say I am beginning to appreciate the wonders of slow, indirect smoking. I haven't been to the mountaintop but I'm getting there.

Farking amazingly moist and properly infused with lovely flavors. Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh yes. Thank you Texas.
 
2013-12-19 01:37:20 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Scrapple, cracklin', pecan pie, bbq, country ham, Savannah, Charleston, and annoyed women using the phrase "well, bless your heart" when they actually mean "go fark yourself, you piece of shiat."

Those are the main contributions.


You can scratch scrapple off that list of Dixie contributions to American cuisine.  Scrapple was manufactured as way to make use of piece of hog meat that isn't fit to eat.  It is beloved/cursed by every Pennsylvanian who was blessed with a mother with a morbid sense of humor (not to mention lost the senses of smell and taste).  My mother prepared one dish of scrapple and apple for breakfast when I was about six.  I ate about two forkfuls of this crap and refused to eat another bite.
 
2013-12-19 01:37:51 PM  
Well for at least the last couple of decades, their derptastic "conservative" voting bloc has attempted to impose theocracy on the entire country and either repealed or held back almost all rational protection of individuals and workers, and prevented pretty much every other grown-up, logical change you can think of. Dragging us down, they are.

/Better off without 'em
 
2013-12-19 01:38:11 PM  

hubiestubert: You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...


Hubie, whether you like it or not CT is part of New England. And we don't have the worst drivers in NE. That title rests firmly in the hands of MA.
 
2013-12-19 01:40:59 PM  
Kyro: Nabb1: toraque: Grits are an elaborate prank played on Northerners in retaliation for us losing the Civil War.  None of us actually eat that crap when you guys aren't looking.

Who is "us"? Are you from Atlanta or something?

I live in Atlanta.  Among the locals I hang out with, none of us like grits.


[that's the joke.jpg]
 
2013-12-19 01:41:12 PM  
You called South Carolina the Deep South.

Your argument is invalid.
 
2013-12-19 01:44:14 PM  
Also - to those who think grits are the devil's work:

img.foodnetwork.com

Get some.
 
2013-12-19 01:47:14 PM  

mrphil: Yes, yes, northerners are the best drivers in the world.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 360x271]


Wow, you went Chappaquiddick in a thread about bad drivers.

mdeesnuts: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Elegy: Black people. The south gave you a culturally disctinct population of black people in America.

If you don't like the south, you're probably racist.

Oh, please, there are black people in the northeast. They just keep them tucked away in small little pockets and separated from the decent blue blooded folks.

Too true. NY, NY.

[static1.businessinsider.com image 850x850]

The red dots show white people, blue is black, orange is Hispanic, green is Asian, and yellow is other, according to maps of 2010 Census data by Eric Fischer.


That's a pretty zoomed in map there. I'm not arguing the general point, but that pretty much shows that the Brooklyn/Queens area is pretty darned diverse. Yea, Manhattan is deep red.. big shocker there.

/or was that your point?
 
2013-12-19 01:47:49 PM  

monoski: phillydrifter: Ugh. Hot girls with southern accents.

Instead of saying "did you cum?" they say "did ya'll cum?"


No. They say "don't shoot off in me"
 
2013-12-19 01:47:51 PM  

MrJesus: Also - to those who think grits are the devil's work:

[img.foodnetwork.com image 616x462]

Get some.



Man, I'm not even going to dignify them with a response. Grits with salt, pepper, and butter are farking delicious.
 
2013-12-19 01:48:50 PM  
Civilization.

St. Augustine, FL. Since 1565.

If the Spanish hadn't succeeded, the English, etc., wouldn't have followed.
 
2013-12-19 01:48:54 PM  

IamSporko: Onkel Buck: Most of the bad drivers in NC are actually from New York

This


Although, this time of year just sucks for driving...gotta buy stuff...for Jesus...or something

csb
Saw a wreck last Friday across from work...small SUV pulled out in traffic trying to make a left....ended up hitting 3 cars in the street, jumped the curb and landed on top of a parked car. Tow company had to get a big ass crane to clean up the mess.
/csb


Where the hell did that happen?
 
2013-12-19 01:49:41 PM  

SanchezSucio: Democrat Party


DRINK!

who created the KKK.

DRINK!
 
2013-12-19 01:52:36 PM  

monoski: phillydrifter: Ugh. Hot girls with southern accents.

Instead of saying "did you cum?" they say "did ya'll cum?"


yosemite-sam.net

It's Y'ALL, ya long-eared Yankee varmint!  Th' 'postrophe goes where th' missin' lettahs ah!
 
2013-12-19 01:54:08 PM  
FTFA: Almost all of the states at the bottom of the ranking are large and rural, many with little public transit and long distances between major population centers, while many of the safest states are smaller in size (though not necessarily in population), where people don't have to drive a long way to get anywhere.

There are a lot of idiots on the roads in NC.  But you cannot prove by me that NC drivers are worse than Baltimorons.
 
2013-12-19 01:54:29 PM  
theknuckler_33: That's a pretty zoomed in map there. I'm not arguing the general point, but that pretty much shows that the Brooklyn/Queens area is pretty darned diverse. Yea, Manhattan is deep red.. big shocker there.

/or was that your point?


The point was they're tucked into corners - the segregation as far as where people live is extreme.


/of course, I cherry picked that map
//plenty of segregation to go around for the whole nation
 
2013-12-19 01:54:39 PM  

Night Night Cream Puff: hubiestubert: You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...

Hubie, whether you like it or not CT is part of New England. And we don't have the worst drivers in NE. That title rests firmly in the hands of MA.


As a displaced Southerner, I can verify that. CT drivers are just pains in the f*cking ass though when they hit the pike, or anything that remotely looks like a gottverdammt rotary. What kills me in Mass, is that EVERY damn time there's a snowstorm up here, it's like folks forget that they live in New England and forget how to drive in the damn stuff.
 
2013-12-19 01:56:51 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: MrJesus: Also - to those who think grits are the devil's work:

[img.foodnetwork.com image 616x462]

Get some.


Man, I'm not even going to dignify them with a response. Grits with salt, pepper, and butter are farking delicious.


Up here in Yankeeland, I have discovered that folks in New England who DO happen to have some notion of what grits are, cover theirs in maple. It is an abomination, and we should never speak of it again...
 
2013-12-19 01:58:32 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Too soon?
 
2013-12-19 02:01:04 PM  

Hal5423: [upload.wikimedia.org image 260x218]

Too soon?


If only that was the Dillion twat in that 3 car. >:(
 
2013-12-19 02:02:29 PM  
The Clintons?
 
2013-12-19 02:02:39 PM  

doyner: The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

LOLWUT?


Just moved to North Carolina from Vermont.  Vermont drivers are overly cautious and polite, which makes coming to a 4 way stop an exercise in futility as to who will go first (I'm an asshole whose originally from California, so no problem for me).  North Carolina drivers on the other hand are so farking oblivious to what is going on around them, I have an apocalyptic it every morning on my hour long commute.  I've never seen so many people who jump out from a full stop into your lane or who drive in the passing lane while never passing a vehicle.

/CSB I know...
 
2013-12-19 02:03:37 PM  

All2morrowsparTs: Nabb1: We've given you good food, bourbon, William Faulkner, Tom Wolfe, iced tea, girls in sundresses, the blues and jazz, and won the Revolution against England.

If you don't count Virginians, there was not much happening during the Revolutionary war.


Apparently your Northern textbooks omitted King's Mountain and the fact that the Carolinas turned the war around for the Colonies. There are more Revolutionary battlefields near the NC-SC battle than you can shake a stick at. (And zero Civil War ones.)
 
2013-12-19 02:05:39 PM  
Among the more notable southern contributions to this great nation...
blog.timesunion.com
timsmithmoonshine.com
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-19 02:07:55 PM  

doyner: The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

LOLWUT?


As  a Bostonian, I echo it with a...
 img850.imageshack.us
 
2013-12-19 02:09:09 PM  
To those of you posting pictures of hot southern women, please note that while yes, they are WAY WAY WAY hotter than the women of the north up until about age 30, after age 30, southern women explode to about 245 lbs.  rent, don't buy.
 
2013-12-19 02:13:51 PM  

ocendot: Among the more notable southern contributions to this great nation...
[blog.timesunion.com image 450x338]
[timsmithmoonshine.com image 850x687]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]


I'm a little more than concerned that the Thumper keg in that picture has duct tape holding the seams together...
 
2013-12-19 02:16:45 PM  

ChipNASA: [conservativeangle.com image 444x360]


Well, bless your heart.
 
2013-12-19 02:17:31 PM  
 
2013-12-19 02:19:39 PM  
monoski: phillydrifter: Ugh. Hot girls with southern accents.

Instead of saying "did you cum?" they say "did ya'll cum?"


howabout..
"I'm fixin ta cum!"

I started laughing, she left
 
2013-12-19 02:20:15 PM  
the south will hoveraound again!
 
2013-12-19 02:25:41 PM  
I actually don't have too much of a problem with this list.

I've lived all over the US, east & west coasts, north and south, usually for a year or so at a time - long enough to soak up the local color.

My personal top 3 worst list reads:
   1. North Carolina
       They will pass on the right, on an empty, 2-lane road.  That means driving on the shoulder.  Been pushed off the road twice on my motorcycle by blind mergers.  Saw a sand truck stuck in a ditch - they slid off the road after less than a quarter inch of snow (also cancelled school, and there was a run on the supermarkets, many of which were out of product - the delivery trucks were there, but no one showed up to work to unload them)

   2. Texas
       Any weather - anything at all; drizzle/light rain, temps below 50, god forbid hail or snow or any thing freezing, and they flip out.  I've actually seen 3 lane highways blocked because it started raining and groups of cars would pull under a bridge and hide till it passed.  I've seen people literally drive off the road due to fear, white knuckled and pinhole pupils.  That, and they have no idea how to use on/off ramps and merge lanes - so expect someone to pull onto a 75mph highway going 35 and only then speeding up.

   3. California
       Not as bad as you'd think.  The worst is, of course, foreigners.  I've seen on multiple occasions, a car parked in a middle or left lane of 880 or the 101 at least 3 times.  Not on the shoulder, in the passing lanes, full stop, with someone trying to read a map or talking on a cell phone, trying to figure out where they're going.  I saw a guy nearly hit one at full speed across from the Fry's that looks like a Mayan temple, because he wasn't expecting someone to slam on the breaks and come to a complete stop for no reason.  You also gotta watch out for lane-splitting motorcyclists who split when it's not legal to do so, which is most of the time.
 
2013-12-19 02:25:55 PM  
Why are seatbelt violations included in this?

Whether a person wears a seatbelt or not has nothing to do with ability to drive or propensity for causing an accident (though I've heard that wearing a seatbelt may make some more likely to drive in a reckless manner as the seatbelt gives some people a sense of invincibility, brought on in part by the seatbelt propagandists who tell you that a seatbelt will protect you from virtually anything.)

As a seatbelt law is merely a nanny law designed to protect motorists from ourselves in the event of an accident, such a statistic should be excluded from rankings like this.
 
2013-12-19 02:29:14 PM  

CeroX: I'm a little more than concerned that the Thumper keg in that picture has duct tape holding the seams together...


Hopefully it's the heat-resistant variety...not exactly HVAC but close enough.
 
2013-12-19 02:37:00 PM  

MJMaloney187: dj_bigbird: Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.

Nope. The first Hooded Order was founded in Tennessee, the second Hooded Order in Atlanta. The founding fathers were "six well educated confederate veterans". The KKK is solidly South.


The north didn't need the KKK they had corrupt big city police departments and restrictive covenants to keep black people in their place.
 
2013-12-19 02:43:44 PM  
We always felt that Yankees were like hemorrhoids. When they come down and go back up, they are tolerable. When they come down and stay, they are a constant source of irritation.

/'Nuff said.
 
2013-12-19 02:47:00 PM  

bopis: MJMaloney187: dj_bigbird: Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.

Nope. The first Hooded Order was founded in Tennessee, the second Hooded Order in Atlanta. The founding fathers were "six well educated confederate veterans". The KKK is solidly South.

The north didn't need the KKK they had corrupt big city police departments and restrictive covenants to keep black people in their place.


Actually, Maine had some fairly active chapters. Mind you, they were mostly focused on the dirty, dirty, dirty Canuckistanis, but still, let's not pretend that the East didn't have their share of racist asshats. Not to mention, Darwin's boy contributed to the field, and was sort of dick about it.
 
2013-12-19 02:53:44 PM  

Lee451: We always felt that Yankees were like hemorrhoids. When they come down and go back up, they are tolerable. When they come down and stay, they are a constant source of irritation.

/'Nuff said.


Also known as the difference between a "yankee" and a "damn yankee". Yankees come to visit. Damn yankees come to stay.
 
2013-12-19 02:55:34 PM  

Maud Dib: ChipNASA: [conservativeangle.com image 444x360]

Well, bless your heart.


I speak southern and I see what you did there.

/"you poor thing, I'm so sorry."
 
2013-12-19 02:55:45 PM  

Lee Jackson Beauregard: monoski: phillydrifter: Ugh. Hot girls with southern accents.

Instead of saying "did you cum?" they say "did ya'll cum?"

[yosemite-sam.net image 320x240]

It's Y'ALL, ya long-eared Yankee varmint!  Th' 'postrophe goes where th' missin' lettahs ah!


And speaking of that, the South gave the English language an easy-to-say contraction for second person plural that isn't some clumsy phrase like "you guys", which is horrible.
 
2013-12-19 03:06:05 PM  

vudukungfu: dabbletech: The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

/pussies

No need for a permit to carry concealed in Vermont.


Sorry, I didn't mean in general.  Just a reference to safe driving.

Poor joke.
 
2013-12-19 03:11:16 PM  
NASCAR Grand National Stock Car Racing.

And some seriously hot babes.
 
2013-12-19 03:13:14 PM  
The author must have been too traumatized by Maryland drivers to list them as worst of the worst.

/Yay grits!
 
2013-12-19 03:29:52 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

A is buying an RC and a Moon Pie. The guy behind the counter says "I can tell you're from the South." The man says "Oh really?" Counter guy says "Yup. You're buying an RC and Moonpie and this is a hardware store."
 
2013-12-19 03:34:45 PM  

Lee Jackson Beauregard: monoski: phillydrifter: Ugh. Hot girls with southern accents.

Instead of saying "did you cum?" they say "did ya'll cum?"

[yosemite-sam.net image 320x240]

It's Y'ALL, ya long-eared Yankee varmint!  Th' 'postrophe goes where th' missin' lettahs ah!


Also, y'all is second person plural.  Fills a gap in standard English, the same way "you guys" does for some northerners.

Unless you're having a threesome, she's not going to say "y'all."
 
2013-12-19 03:38:36 PM  

hubiestubert: bopis: MJMaloney187: dj_bigbird: Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.

Nope. The first Hooded Order was founded in Tennessee, the second Hooded Order in Atlanta. The founding fathers were "six well educated confederate veterans". The KKK is solidly South.

The north didn't need the KKK they had corrupt big city police departments and restrictive covenants to keep black people in their place.

Actually, Maine had some fairly active chapters. Mind you, they were mostly focused on the dirty, dirty, dirty Canuckistanis, but still, let's not pretend that the East didn't have their share of racist asshats. Not to mention, Darwin's boy contributed to the field, and was sort of dick about it.


The original KKK was formed to fight Reconstruction and was completely southern.  A second and, for a time, very successful Klan was formed in 1915 in, I believe, Atlanta, but was big in parts of the North, especially Indiana, during the 1920s.  "Konklave in Kokomo" is a good article about it, if you can find it.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Aspirin-Age-1919-1941-essential/dp/0848816 61 7
 
2013-12-19 03:39:11 PM  

jigger: Lee Jackson Beauregard: monoski: phillydrifter: Ugh. Hot girls with southern accents.

Instead of saying "did you cum?" they say "did ya'll cum?"

[yosemite-sam.net image 320x240]

It's Y'ALL, ya long-eared Yankee varmint!  Th' 'postrophe goes where th' missin' lettahs ah!

And speaking of that, the South gave the English language an easy-to-say contraction for second person plural that isn't some clumsy phrase like "you guys", which is horrible.


Oops, I see you covered this already.
 
2013-12-19 03:41:28 PM  

QueenMamaBee: Hal5423: [upload.wikimedia.org image 260x218]

Too soon?

If only that was the Dillion twat in that 3 car. >:(


i750.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-19 03:42:08 PM  
People keep leaving the whole moon-race thing off the list. The whole engineering part of NASA is in Huntsville Alabama.
 
2013-12-19 03:42:32 PM  
i1180.photobucket.com

D.C. is in the top because everyone in Maryland and Virgina knows that they can't drive for shiat and have two speeds -  2x the speed limit and Big Pimpin Slowdown.  They are given a very, very wide safety zone.

// I hate D.C. drivers
 
2013-12-19 03:52:30 PM  
Coca-Cola, Pepsi, cheerwine, any sugary soft drink.
 
2013-12-19 04:46:54 PM  

mdeesnuts: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Elegy: Black people. The south gave you a culturally disctinct population of black people in America.

If you don't like the south, you're probably racist.

Oh, please, there are black people in the northeast. They just keep them tucked away in small little pockets and separated from the decent blue blooded folks.

Too true. NY, NY.

The red dots show white people, blue is black, orange is Hispanic, green is Asian, and yellow is other, according to maps of 2010 Census data by Eric Fischer.


I don't really think NYC is representative of the northeast in general, but yeah, that map definitely shows how segregated even a densely populated city is in the north.
 
2013-12-19 04:54:51 PM  
I've been all over this great nation and I feel comfortable in saying that, by far, the worst drivers in the Untied States of America are from Los Angeles, California.

/dnrtfa
 
2013-12-19 05:01:05 PM  
The South has given a LOT to the world, culturally, and birthed most major American music forms (blues, rock, and jazz just to name a few). But it would be extremely helpful if the South itself (well, white southerners) would be proud of these things instead of being pround of things like civil war "heros".

But for that to happen, white southerners would have to be proud of black people from the south, and black people would have to be willing to admit the south as having a good side.

Soooo.... Probably not gonna happen. But every time I listen to Louis Armstrong it reminds me of what was great about the South (where I grew up) and simultaneously reminds me that he left it because as a black man his greatness would always be supressed if he stayed (I honestly don't want to think what could have happened to him if he had stayed there).
 
2013-12-19 05:25:31 PM  
Completely inaccurate.

New Hampshire has the worst drivers in this part of the galaxy.
 
2013-12-19 05:34:04 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The south is truly a cultureless backwater. Please, never come here.


Hear, hear.

'Tis truly a stopped-up commode. You'd be better off somewhere else.

...

I can't do it. PA drivers are THE WORST, followed (too) closely by Massholes. Go fark yourselves and your satanic offspring.

/ah
//much better
///sips sweet tea while admiring the magnolias...
 
2013-12-19 06:14:57 PM  

Onkel Buck: IamSporko: Onkel Buck: Most of the bad drivers in NC are actually from New York

This


Although, this time of year just sucks for driving...gotta buy stuff...for Jesus...or something

csb
Saw a wreck last Friday across from work...small SUV pulled out in traffic trying to make a left....ended up hitting 3 cars in the street, jumped the curb and landed on top of a parked car. Tow company had to get a big ass crane to clean up the mess.
/csb

Where the hell did that happen?


On Buck Jones Road. The SUV guy was trying to turn left out of South Hills' parking lot and ended up in Crazy Fire's parking lot instead.
 
2013-12-19 06:15:04 PM  

BunkoSquad: enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!

Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.


Hey now, you've obviously only had Quaker quick grits.

Good ol' home made grits with cheddar cheese are indeed the food of the gods, and this coming from an
unreconstructed Yankee from New Jersey.  And biscuits and gravy.

/Is amazed at how many drivers in the DC area seem to have learned in Louisiana.
 
2013-12-19 06:24:59 PM  

hubiestubert: DROxINxTHExWIND: MrJesus: Also - to those who think grits are the devil's work:

[img.foodnetwork.com image 616x462]

Get some.


Man, I'm not even going to dignify them with a response. Grits with salt, pepper, and butter are farking delicious.

Up here in Yankeeland, I have discovered that folks in New England who DO happen to have some notion of what grits are, cover theirs in maple. It is an abomination, and we should never speak of it again...


Grits... and maple syrup......

www.troll.me

As long as they're plain grits.....
 
2013-12-19 06:27:45 PM  

All2morrowsparTs: If you don't count Virginians, there was not much happening during the Revolutionary war.


upload.wikimedia.org
Ahem...
 
2013-12-19 06:37:45 PM  

ocendot: Among the more notable southern contributions to this great nation...


Sorry, but the Air Conditioner was first developed by Willis Carrier in Buffalo, NY.
 
2013-12-19 06:48:07 PM  

maddogdelta: ocendot: Among the more notable southern contributions to this great nation...

Sorry, but the Air Conditioner was first developed by Willis Carrier in Buffalo, NY.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Gorrie
 
2013-12-19 06:48:32 PM  

bighairyguy: The author must have been too traumatized by Maryland drivers to list them as worst of the worst.


I can sum up the Mid-Atlantic like this:

Pennsylvania - drivers wait until you're about 50 feet away and then pull out on you.
Maryland - 5 feet off your ass is considered acceptable.
Virginia - drives like retards on their way to Chuck E Cheese.
 
2013-12-19 07:02:25 PM  

Cheeseface: Yes, please stay right where you are, since we're so crappy and all you aren't missing anything.


Shouldn't that be, all you all aren't missing anything, or some such?

I need to know this, because, if I ever get motivated, I'm moving to the south where it's warm during Dec., Jan., and Feb.
 
2013-12-19 07:12:32 PM  

ocendot: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Gorrie


So, quick question. When it gets hot, do you load more ice into your machine to cool yourself down, or flip a switch/turn a thermostat.
 
2013-12-19 07:22:10 PM  

maddogdelta: ocendot: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Gorrie

So, quick question. When it gets hot, do you load more ice into your machine to cool yourself down, or flip a switch/turn a thermostat.


You're totally missing the point...where did the ice come from?Just because Orville and Wilbur didn't use a jet engine, does that make them any less the fathers of powered flight?
 
2013-12-19 07:33:04 PM  

ocendot: You're totally missing the point...where did the ice come from?


Um.... from places like this..
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-19 07:49:11 PM  
The aqueduct?
 
2013-12-19 08:33:00 PM  

maddogdelta: ocendot: You're totally missing the point...where did the ice come from?

Um.... from places like this..
[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x487]


in Appalachicola, FL? In the summertime? Come on.
 
2013-12-19 08:40:58 PM  

MJMaloney187: dj_bigbird: Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.

Nope. The first Hooded Order was founded in Tennessee, the second Hooded Order in Atlanta. The founding fathers were "six well educated confederate veterans". The KKK is solidly South.


Indeed, but the KKK expanded its influence as blacks migrated north looking for industrial work. They aligned themselves with left-wing labor unions to keep blacks from "taking our jarrrbs."

As a result, blacks who migrated north seeking opportunity were legally confined to congested ghettos with terrible public schools and unemployment remained high. If you couldn't join the racist labor union then you couldn't get work, and you were left to eat shiat and die.
 
2013-12-19 08:43:59 PM  

ocendot: maddogdelta: ocendot: You're totally missing the point...where did the ice come from?

Um.... from places like this..
[upload.wikimedia.org image 850x487]

in Appalachicola, FL? In the summertime? Come on.


Dude, look up "ice trade" in wikipedia. Northern towns would harvest ice when it got thick enough, then ship it around the country. It could be stored for the entire summer...yes even in Florida..in insulated icehouses.
 
2013-12-19 09:01:27 PM  

destrip: (though I've heard that wearing a seatbelt may make some more likely to drive in a reckless manner as the seatbelt gives some people a sense of invincibility, brought on in part by the seatbelt propagandists who tell you that a seatbelt will protect you from virtually anything.)


That may well be the most stupid thing I've ever read from every possible angle.
 
2013-12-19 09:05:49 PM  
Cracker Barrel?

Southern Hospitality?
 
2013-12-19 09:40:48 PM  

quietwalker: I actually don't have too much of a problem with this list.

I've lived all over the US, east & west coasts, north and south, usually for a year or so at a time - long enough to soak up the local color.

   2. Texas
       Any weather - anything at all; drizzle/light rain, temps below 50, god forbid hail or snow or any thing freezing, and they flip out.  I've actually seen 3 lane highways blocked because it started raining and groups of cars would pull under a bridge and hide till it passed.  I've seen people literally drive off the road due to fear, white knuckled and pinhole pupils.  That, and they have no idea how to use on/off ramps and merge lanes - so expect someone to pull onto a 75mph highway going 35 and only then speeding up.


Dear lord, THIS!  I have lived in Texas since 1996.  I learned to drive in California and have driven all over the US.

To give y'all a better picture, let me give you a few examples, as experienced in my 15.2 mile commute from my home in Denton County, TX to my office in Collin County, TX:

1: The lack of turn indicator use.  Dear God, these people must think that actually using a turn indicator is akin to giving information to the enemy.  The only vehicles I see that signal a turn or lane change are either school buses, big rigs or have out of state plates.  I'm an odd ball in Texas - having learned to drive in California, I use my signals, even if in a right turn or left turn only lane.

2: Speeding.  People in Texas see the sign reading "SPEED LIMIT 70" and take it as a suggestion.  If you're doing the limit, you better be in the right hand lane... and watch out for the pick up truck hauling a Bobcat on a trailer doing about 50.  I do the limit.  I've driven 35 years without a moving violation and I'm not about to start racking them up now.

3: Shooting across two or three lanes of traffic to get to the exit or business complex driveway.  Why is it these people can't think their shiat through?  If you drive the same route every day, I can guarantee the road elves have not moved the damn exit.  Get over in the right hand lane an exit or two ahead.  If the driveway you MUST use to get to work is 150 feet from the bottom of the off ramp, get off the highway the exit before and give yourself time to safely get across those three lanes.

4: Changing lanes in the intersection.  Just farking NO.  Simply because someone starts off slow from the red light, this does not give you the right to switch lanes in the middle of the damn intersection.  This includes the double left turn lane into the office complex.  No turning out of the inside lane and then going to the right hand gate.  Best one was having a County Sheriff's car make a U turn from the outside turn lane as I was slowing to make a left from the inside left turn lane.  He should be thankful I have quick reflexes and good brakes.

5: The never popular right turn from the left lane.  Most of the time, I see this as I enter the property I work at.  Most folks work in the south building, so there's usually a line in the right hand lane through the security gates.  Just because you drive some overpriced luxury car, you do not have the right to use the left gate and then turn right immediately to get to the garage.  Also, to those exiting the property as most of us are driving in - there's a three way stop by the gates.  The right of way goes to folks coming onto the property.  The first one of y'all that T-bones my car as I turn left from the entry to the north garage, I will strangle you with your own intestines.  Granted, there's only four of us that park in the north garage, but that is STILL a damn stop sign.

Don't even get me started on the drive home.
 
2013-12-19 09:56:22 PM  

ocendot: Among the more notable southern contributions to this great nation...
[blog.timesunion.com image 450x338]
[timsmithmoonshine.com image 850x687]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]


I've dumped on the South on many a post on FARK, but the invention of air conditioning was truly a great thing, IMHO.

/ that, and BBQ....
 
2013-12-19 10:49:13 PM  

Snowrise: [i47.photobucket.com image 800x600]


I was about to throw up a snarky comment even before reading TFA and answer cheap cotton(given how it was procured... no merit points) but I see things are done in one.

Honestly I would just assume let most the South just secede already.  This time we won't conquer ask you to come back.  Sure we can still trade back and forth, but we have entirely different ways we think things should be governed.  So you can have your 3rd world Jesusland and we can have the greatest nation on Earth.
 
2013-12-19 10:51:44 PM  

Jesda: MJMaloney187: dj_bigbird: Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.

Nope. The first Hooded Order was founded in Tennessee, the second Hooded Order in Atlanta. The founding fathers were "six well educated confederate veterans". The KKK is solidly South.

Indeed, but the KKK expanded its influence as blacks migrated north looking for industrial work. They aligned themselves with left-wing labor unions to keep blacks from "taking our jarrrbs."

As a result, blacks who migrated north seeking opportunity were legally confined to congested ghettos with terrible public schools and unemployment remained high. If you couldn't join the racist labor union then you couldn't get work, and you were left to eat shiat and die.


As a Michigan native, I can say that there aren't any Klansmen in Michigan that I know of, and they REALLY wouldn't have been welcome here during slavery or the Civil War. Michigan was a VERY anti-slavery state, and we were a major route for the Underground Railroad. We wouldn't have tolerated the KKK here, and Harriet Tubman wouldn't have taken runaway slaves through here if there was any danger of being caught by the Klan in Michigan.

Indeed, Idlewilde, Michigan was one of the first resorts in the country where African Americans could own land.

So no... The KKK was never welcome in Michigan. We kinda hated slavery.
 
2013-12-19 11:42:55 PM  

Jimmysolson: Cheeseface: Yes, please stay right where you are, since we're so crappy and all you aren't missing anything.

Shouldn't that be, all you all aren't missing anything, or some such?

I need to know this, because, if I ever get motivated, I'm moving to the south where it's warm during Dec., Jan., and Feb.


1) since we're so crappy and all
2) since we're so crappy all y'all ain't missin much
3) (southern belle) since we're so crappy and all, y'all aren't missing anything

Feel free to move down here, I honestly don't see how northerners live where they do. I've loved every time I've gone up to visit cities in the north but the winter seems masochistic. Screw that, there's like one and half months of heat in the south vs. 4-6 months of freezing bullshiat.
 
2013-12-19 11:51:51 PM  
Elvis?
 
2013-12-20 02:14:13 AM  
Moon Pies
 
2013-12-20 02:21:57 AM  
aerospace and semiconductor manufacturing, and energy.
 
2013-12-20 07:21:50 AM  

IamSporko: Onkel Buck: IamSporko: Onkel Buck: Most of the bad drivers in NC are actually from New York

This


Although, this time of year just sucks for driving...gotta buy stuff...for Jesus...or something

csb
Saw a wreck last Friday across from work...small SUV pulled out in traffic trying to make a left....ended up hitting 3 cars in the street, jumped the curb and landed on top of a parked car. Tow company had to get a big ass crane to clean up the mess.
/csb

Where the hell did that happen?

On Buck Jones Road. The SUV guy was trying to turn left out of South Hills' parking lot and ended up in Crazy Fire's parking lot instead.


OK I remember that now I live in the area. Thats a bad intersections right there this time of year with all the holiday traffic and people trying to get into REI parking lot
 
2013-12-20 05:06:45 PM  
Leave us face it, a lot of very famous black people are Southerners...
...and, were the truth told and DNA checked, likely a lot of very famous Southerners were black....
 
2013-12-20 07:21:41 PM  
Coca cola, Girl Scout cookies, Kennedy Space Center / moon landings... I can go on..   (I don't get people saying grits are horrible. You need to come to my house one day when I make them the right way!)
 
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