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(NBC News)   Besides WalMart, the KKK and Honey Boo Boo, what has the South ever given to us? Sh*tty drivers?   (usnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 207
    More: Amusing, people from Louisiana, National Motorists Association, United States, traffic fatalities  
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4406 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2013 at 12:23 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



207 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-19 10:17:06 AM  
i47.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-19 10:19:43 AM  
OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored
 
2013-12-19 10:24:52 AM  

BunkoSquad: OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored


This.

And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!
 
2013-12-19 10:27:59 AM  

enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!


Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.
 
2013-12-19 10:28:01 AM  
We gave you Dolly Parton. What else do you want?
 
2013-12-19 10:30:30 AM  
who is this "us" you speak of??
 
2013-12-19 10:31:31 AM  
What a sh*tty southern driver might look like
www.bellazon.com
 
2013-12-19 10:40:36 AM  
FREEBIRD!
 
2013-12-19 10:45:35 AM  

enry: BunkoSquad: OK, hang on, I'm as Northeastern Liberal as any Northeastern Liberal that ever Northeastern Liberaled, but the whole BBQ thing can't be ignored

This.

And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!


BOURBON!!!!!
 
2013-12-19 10:55:48 AM  
Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.
 
2013-12-19 11:02:49 AM  

BunkoSquad: enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!

Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.


That stuff is called "corn."
 
2013-12-19 11:03:57 AM  

dj_bigbird: Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.


Started in Pulaski Tennessee. Big in the South during Reconstruction.
 
2013-12-19 11:04:28 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: What a sh*tty southern driver might look like
[www.bellazon.com image 300x377]


I'm not saying I'm a good driver...but I've never done this.
cdn.bleacherreport.net
cdn.bleacherreport.net
cdn.bleacherreport.net
 
2013-12-19 11:05:02 AM  

Nabb1: BunkoSquad: enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!

Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.

That stuff is called "corn."


I've had corn. Corn is good. I don't know why you'd take perfectly good corn and do something to it that makes it taste like devil grout.
 
2013-12-19 11:05:51 AM  

Nabb1: Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.

That stuff is called "corn."


Well, what do you know. Even Satan can't digest that corn when he goes to the bathroom.
 
2013-12-19 11:06:42 AM  

stpauler: MaudlinMutantMollusk: What a sh*tty southern driver might look like
[www.bellazon.com image 300x377]

I'm not saying I'm a good driver...but I've never done this.
[cdn.bleacherreport.net image 350x350]
[cdn.bleacherreport.net image 350x236]
[cdn.bleacherreport.net image 350x304]


Well, in fairness, he did have a little help

/I give him points just for surviving
 
2013-12-19 11:08:26 AM  
Don't forget about sweet tea.
 
2013-12-19 11:11:53 AM  
We've given you good food, bourbon, William Faulkner, Tom Wolfe, iced tea, girls in sundresses, the blues and jazz, and won the Revolution against England.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-12-19 11:13:36 AM  
Gone with the Wind.  We wouldn't have had that if not for the Civil War.
 
2013-12-19 11:14:50 AM  
Scrapple, cracklin', pecan pie, bbq, country ham, Savannah, Charleston, and annoyed women using the phrase "well, bless your heart" when they actually mean "go fark yourself, you piece of shiat."

Those are the main contributions.
 
2013-12-19 11:20:04 AM  

BunkoSquad: enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!

Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.


The truth about grits...they are the South's tofu. I hated them, too, the first time I tried them. They were bland, tasteless, and had the consistency of glue. Then a helpful southern lady told me I was doing it wrong, they need to be "doctored up right". And sure 'nuff...once you put enough milk, sugar, salt, pepper, cheese, bacon, sausage chunks, eggs, and butter (tons of butter) grits are absolutely delicious.
 
2013-12-19 11:21:08 AM  

kid_icarus: And sure 'nuff...once you put enough milk, sugar, salt, pepper, cheese, bacon, sausage chunks, eggs, and butter (tons of butter) grits are absolutely delicious.


Those things are even better if you remove the grits.
 
2013-12-19 11:24:35 AM  

Pocket Ninja: kid_icarus: And sure 'nuff...once you put enough milk, sugar, salt, pepper, cheese, bacon, sausage chunks, eggs, and butter (tons of butter) grits are absolutely delicious.

Those things are even better if you remove the grits.


Granted. But then you have to list all those food items separately when people asked what you had for breakfast.
 
2013-12-19 11:27:10 AM  

Nabb1: and won the Revolution against England.


Don't you mean the French?
 
2013-12-19 11:27:12 AM  

kid_icarus: But then you have to list all those food items separately when people asked what you had for breakfast.


Not if you cook yourself a country skillet breakfast, you don't. Which is another great southern innovation that I neglected to mention.
 
2013-12-19 11:29:49 AM  

kid_icarus: Granted. But then you have to list all those food items separately when people asked what you had for breakfast.


"Omelette"

You can even leave off the "te" if you don't want to be accused of Frenchness
 
2013-12-19 11:31:23 AM  
Oh hell no. Some of the best sex I've ever had were men from the south.
 
2013-12-19 11:37:58 AM  

kid_icarus: BunkoSquad: enry: And pecan pie

And bourbon.

TO BOURBON!

Agreed.

Grits, however. Grits are made out of the stuff that's scoured out of Satan's bathroom.

The truth about grits...they are the South's tofu. I hated them, too, the first time I tried them. They were bland, tasteless, and had the consistency of glue. Then a helpful southern lady told me I was doing it wrong, they need to be "doctored up right". And sure 'nuff...once you put enough milk, sugar, salt, pepper, cheese, bacon, sausage chunks, eggs, and butter (tons of butter) grits are absolutely delicious.


Yeah man, Waffle House style

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-12-19 11:39:01 AM  

Godscrack: Oh hell no. Some of the best sex I've ever had were men from the south.


You're welcome.
 
2013-12-19 11:42:16 AM  

sammyk: Yeah man, Waffle House style


Speaking of Waffle House...I've been to a few on road trips through the South. Is there any Waffle House location where the staff isn't on the verge of a suicide pact?
 
2013-12-19 11:44:47 AM  
Grits, done poorly and improperly seasoned or not seasoned at all, are awful. And that's probably how most people who don't like them have had them. Instant grits are appallingly bad. No true Southerner should eat them unless you are in the midst of a natural disaster. Grits should be stone ground, and cooked low and slow, stirred often. Seasoning is essential, so you have to use salt, and don't skimp on it. A bit of butter and a bit of black pepper go a long way. If cooked well, they have a smooth, almost polenta-like texture. I like to mix scrambled eggs into mine, but occasionally, I will stir in a bit of spicy head cheese. Yes, head cheese. I know add copious amounts of cheese to grits is all the rage in some restaurants, but I think this is a mistake. Good creamy grits can stand on their own.
 
2013-12-19 11:46:30 AM  

Snowrise: [i47.photobucket.com image 800x600]


I don't know why, but that made me think of Milo Minderbinder.
 
2013-12-19 11:48:23 AM  
YEEEEEEE---HAW!

www.dukesonline.com
 
2013-12-19 12:02:36 PM  
You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...
 
2013-12-19 12:11:40 PM  

BunkoSquad: sammyk: Yeah man, Waffle House style

Speaking of Waffle House...I've been to a few on road trips through the South. Is there any Waffle House location where the staff isn't on the verge of a suicide pact?


You should see the graveyard shift that deals with drunk people that closed the bars. In that circumstance WH is freaking delicious.

Why yes I have hooked up at the Waffle House at 3AM. Don't judge!
 
2013-12-19 12:15:19 PM  
Grits are an elaborate prank played on Northerners in retaliation for us losing the Civil War.  None of us actually eat that crap when you guys aren't looking.
 
2013-12-19 12:27:03 PM  
The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

LOLWUT?
 
2013-12-19 12:27:33 PM  
Comfort food!
 
2013-12-19 12:28:30 PM  
conservativeangle.com
 
2013-12-19 12:29:44 PM  
What about Iced Tea and Bass Fishing on TV?
 
2013-12-19 12:30:20 PM  

doyner: The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

LOLWUT?


DC is safe because no car is moving at a speed faster than a brisk walking pace.
 
2013-12-19 12:30:29 PM  
The blues, rock n roll, BBQ, the first heart transplant, hot women, boobies for beads, bourbon, sweet tea, literature, etc. etc.

And Walter Payton.
 
2013-12-19 12:31:29 PM  

doyner: The safest states (the survey includes the District of Columbia) were mainly in the Northeast and the Midwest:
Vermont
Utah
New Hampshire
Minnesota
Oregon
Maine
Connecticut
District of Columbia
Iowa
Massachusetts

LOLWUT?


Cars are pretty safe when they aren't moving very often.
 
2013-12-19 12:32:05 PM  
The south is truly a cultureless backwater. Please, never come here.
 
2013-12-19 12:32:12 PM  

doyner: The safest states:
District of Columbia

LOLWUT?


Depends a lot on how much weight you give factors like 'deaths' over 'low-speed crashes'.  Very few people die in 25mph crashes at weird-angle intersections in the District (though they may get shot waiting for the tow truck).  And restricting it to the District means that the Beltway is entirely excluded.
 
2013-12-19 12:32:15 PM  

dj_bigbird: Wasn't the KKK more of a northern thing, really? Places like Indiana, Michigan, etc. I'm skeered to google it at work.


Nope. The first Hooded Order was founded in Tennessee, the second Hooded Order in Atlanta. The founding fathers were "six well educated confederate veterans". The KKK is solidly South.
 
2013-12-19 12:32:40 PM  

toraque: Grits are an elaborate prank played on Northerners in retaliation for us losing the Civil War.  None of us actually eat that crap when you guys aren't looking.


Who is "us"? Are you from Atlanta or something?
 
2013-12-19 12:32:57 PM  
In all fairness, Southerners would be much better drivers if not for alcohol.
 
2013-12-19 12:33:07 PM  
Rock and Roll.
 
2013-12-19 12:34:53 PM  

hubiestubert: You mean besides authors, poets, bourbon, cuisine, warm water ports, fishing, agricultural exports, several of our Founding Fathers, musicians by the score, and artists, probably nothing, I guess, Smitty, but I'll give you that the South has some amazingly crappy drivers, but I also posit that there are a ton of crappy drivers in Phoenix, all across New England, and Connecticut...


Funny how all of the North Eastern libs flee down to the south once they are old.

This list had no credibility. DC drivers are the worst.
 
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