If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(MIT)   Are Santa's reindeer used for propulsion or navigation?   (alum.mit.edu) divider line 60
    More: Silly, aeronautics, vixen, hooves, spacecraft propulsion  
•       •       •

1930 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2013 at 12:32 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-12-19 11:44:29 AM
I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.
 
2013-12-19 11:49:18 AM
Marketing actually.
 
2013-12-19 12:33:30 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


He uses the same technology that allows him to be in every mall across the country simultaneously.
 
2013-12-19 12:33:51 PM
Food, in case of a crash landing in a remote location.
 
2013-12-19 12:34:02 PM

NEWS FLASH: SANTA ISN'T REAL


/crying children everywhere.gif
 
2013-12-19 12:35:19 PM

phillydrifter: NEWS FLASH: SANTA ISN'T REAL
/crying children everywhere.gif


YES HE WAS BUT HE'S DEAD NOW

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-12-19 12:35:34 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


Sleight of hand trick. He just skips all the black kids.
 
2013-12-19 12:35:58 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


The sonofabiatch has broken into my house every year since the day I was born, no matter where I live. ADT owes me a refund.
 
2013-12-19 12:36:56 PM
Walter Mathiuew needs a nother blow job...I though he was dead....eva
 
2013-12-19 12:37:14 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


Some kind of neat screwdriver?
 
2013-12-19 12:38:56 PM
The poem tells us that when the reindeer approach the roof of the house, an observer can hear "on the roof/the prancing and pawing of each little hoof." This tells us that the reindeer generally move their legs and feet when the sleigh is moving.

No, this tells us that when they come to a stop on a roof, you can hear the reindeer. It could be the act of landing. I'm not propelling my self when i'm on a train, but if I fall off of it, you hear me scrabbling around to get my balance. It can also mean that while they are standing there waiting for Santa, they are moving their feet.

I see nothing conclusive here.
 
2013-12-19 12:39:50 PM

Saners: UberDave: Sleight of hand trick. He just skips all the black kids.


WHAT?!?!

Age old humor: Q: What did the black kid get for christmas?

A: my bike.

/not racist
//hates whitey
///American Indian
 
2013-12-19 12:40:02 PM
The reindeer poop magically turns to coal while falling, landing neatly in stockings for deserving brats.
 
2013-12-19 12:41:06 PM
I always assumed reindeer were both propulsion and navigation, kind of like thrust-vectoring.
 
2013-12-19 12:41:20 PM
Both.
 
2013-12-19 12:42:55 PM
Well duh...

Rudolph handles navigation.

The other 8 provide propulsion.
 
2013-12-19 12:43:31 PM
Just this week I received undeniable confirmation that he is white. I'll check back in with Megyn to get an update on rain deer functions, gender. Or perhaps I can check in with one of her offspring; Edward Yates Brunt, Yardley Evans Brunt or Thatcher Bray Brunt
 
2013-12-19 12:43:40 PM
I read that as "prostitution."  I REALLY need to get away from Fark for a while......
 
2013-12-19 12:43:40 PM

edmo: Marketing actually.



Indeed!! Why else would you tell a kid that a fat old man breaks into your home and leaves things? I was 6 when I discovered the Gift Tags with Santa labeled on them.

Saners: UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.

Sleight of hand trick. He just skips all the black kids.

 
2013-12-19 12:43:48 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


Father Christmas bag of holding. Near speed of light travel.
 
2013-12-19 12:46:25 PM
Are they white?
 
2013-12-19 12:50:38 PM

bniath: UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.

Father Christmas bag of holding. Near speed of light travel.


Must be a living hell for him, for us it is just one night, for him each Christmas lasts an eternity due to time dilation.
 
2013-12-19 12:51:29 PM

Orgasmatron138: I read that as "prostitution."  I REALLY need to get away from Fark for a while......


We don't say that, we say "reindeer games."
 
2013-12-19 12:54:28 PM
cdn.niketalk.com
 
2013-12-19 12:54:38 PM

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: Orgasmatron138: I read that as "prostitution."  I REALLY need to get away from Fark for a while......

We don't say that, we say "reindeer games."


........Do not look up reindeer games with SafeSearch off. I WARN YOU!!
 
2013-12-19 12:59:27 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


Santa only makes one trip. He visits all the houses simultaneously. That way, he only has to take enough gifts for one trip. That's why he has 8 reindeer. 8 is a sideways infinity, and during that night Santa is infinite. He is everywhere.

This theory was confirmed in the Fables books.
 
2013-12-19 01:00:18 PM

KarmicDisaster: bniath: UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.

Father Christmas bag of holding. Near speed of light travel.

Must be a living hell for him, for us it is just one night, for him each Christmas lasts an eternity due to time dilation.


It's longer than you think, dad!
 
2013-12-19 01:03:44 PM
Gas

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-12-19 01:03:44 PM
I wonder how much methane do the reindeer produce in one night zipping around the earth?
 
2013-12-19 01:04:55 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


His sleigh is actually a carefully crafted construct that contains, and follow me closely now, a white hole. Because intense gravity tends to slow things down around black holes, the sleigh is designed to capture and utilize both the energy and mass shooting out of the white hole.

He doesn't "blink" into normal time - he has carefully placed "agents" to pretend to be spotted, caught, and sit in mall locations near you - and yes, this includes the secret society that my very own father belong to, as once I caught him creeping around in a Santa suit, taking a bite out of the cookies and drinking the milk I left out. He literally cannot return to normal time. That being said, he has the capability to "phase" presents through solid matter. How is not yet known. We think it has to do with careful rituals of lighted trees acting as photonic beacons - this gives him a general area. He phases presents to the location, but obiviously not accurately, which is why you'll find presents under beds, in closets, and attics.


You ever look at the north pole? See any large factories, elves, houses? No? Of course not. The sleigh uses the mass from the captured white hole to 3D print out, to a high level of accuracy, and at blinding speed, all presents, including packaging. The "escort" & "tracking" NORAD does across the United States is nothing less than us simply trying to gather enough evidence to reverse engineer some of this highly advanced technology. The pictures exist, but will be kept secret at levels higher than we can imagine - one must wonder if we've already worked on some of this technology.
 
2013-12-19 01:05:36 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


He brings his mother-in-law along. Those visits always seem to take eons for me.
 
2013-12-19 01:07:32 PM
Rudolph is for navigation.  The rest are for propulsion.  Santa steers regardless.

As far as how he makes it to all those places in one night, and manages to carry all those presents, the answer is magic.  Magic is also the reason that the reighndeer can fly to start with.

Magic requires no explanation.  And truly religious person will tell you that.
 
2013-12-19 01:09:53 PM
Up on the rooftop, reindeer pause,
Which is kind of terrifying since they normally have hooves!
 
2013-12-19 01:12:00 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


i.imgur.com


"Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas!"

"Who says I'm not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve?"
 
2013-12-19 01:17:10 PM
Whatever their role is, they certainlydo not provide propulsion.

Since the reindeer are located ahead of the sled, they can provide traction, but never propulsion (well, unless the sled is reversing).
 
2013-12-19 01:24:49 PM
Neither.  The correct answer is "emergency rations."
 
2013-12-19 01:24:50 PM
GBTW
 
2013-12-19 01:25:01 PM
NASA Mission 1224 shall be designated a night launch originating at zero degrees latitude.

The Simple Launch Egress Ingress orbiter vehicle (SLEI 1) is designated for use on this mission. SLEI 1 is powered by 8 secondary and 1 primary RNDR's. The RNDR's are fueled by organic accelerated tinder.

The mission commander shall assume the role of Systems Command Launch and Unilateral Support, or S-CLAUS.

At launch minus 58 minutes, feed valves RNDR-1A through RNDR-9A are opened by the External Launch Vehicle Support personnel.

At launch minus 43 minutes, ELVS personnel under direction of the mission S-CLAUS ensure that all manifested cargo is loaded aboard and secured in the cargo bay.

At launch minus 14 minutes, all feed valves are closed, and the 8 secondary RNDR's are maneuvered into pre-designated positions forward of SLEI 1, parallel to the X axis. The installation of the secondary RNDR's is followed immediately by the installation of the primary RNDR in the extreme forward X axis position.

At launch minus 11 seconds, the S-CLAUS commands the illumination of the red RNDR-1 launch light. The commander then manually pulls the RNDR Activation Initialization Geo Norms, or RAIGN's, which initiates lift-off.

At launch, SLEI 1 is targeted to the apex of the launch window porch, and at launch plus 15 seconds, retargeted to the azimuth of the glide slope wall. parameters

At launch plus 37 seconds the digital auto pilot is engaged, and the vehicle is upmoded to the "Dash Away All" mode. At this point, the S-CLAUS verifies that all mission launch have been successfully executed. If lights are green, and go for the mission, the command is issued by the mission commander "Merry Christmas to all, and an uneventful rest period"
 
2013-12-19 01:25:52 PM
Well, uh, thanks for clearing that up, Phil from MIT.  What's next?  Where are the control surfaces that allow reindeer to control their own roll, pitch and yaw?  What's the MTOW of Santa's sleigh?  Why doesn't it have nav lights / radio / transponder?  Wouldn't Santa be required to have a relief pilot aboard given the duration of his flight and the extent of his duty day?  Who does his checkrides and flight medicals?

I'm just gonna go with magic.  And a vast but brittle parental conspiracy.
 
2013-12-19 01:28:21 PM

meanmutton: UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.

He uses the same technology that allows him to be in every mall across the country simultaneously.


So... Holograms?
 
2013-12-19 01:33:28 PM

phillydrifter: Saners: UberDave: Sleight of hand trick. He just skips all the black kids.

WHAT?!?!

Age old humor: Q: What did the black kid get for christmas?

A: my bike.

/not racist
//hates whitey
///American Indian


www.troll.me
 
2013-12-19 01:43:58 PM
Does PETA know about this? (Photoshop contest?)

You would have thought PETA would be pissed because Santa is using reindeer to to "perform cruel and unnatural acts."

Cruel and unusual acts: I thought that's what Santa had the sexy midgets sexy elves for.
 
2013-12-19 01:45:30 PM
First strike offensive weapons
 
2013-12-19 01:55:07 PM
Ornamentation and entertainment.

Santa is really into that hot hot reindeer action.
 
2013-12-19 02:01:49 PM

phillydrifter: Saners: UberDave: Sleight of hand trick. He just skips all the black kids.

WHAT?!?!

Age old humor: Q: What did the black kid get for christmas?

A: my bike.

/not racist
//hates whitey
///American Indian


I thought you people were going by Native American these days?
 
2013-12-19 02:07:08 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


Quantum.  If you describe Santa as a waveform, he gets delocalised over such parts of the globe as believe in a fat guy in a flying sleigh that delivers presents.  Note that this waveform has nodes in the chimneys, which explains how he can get down.
 
2013-12-19 02:09:13 PM

edmo: Marketing actually.


That's more or less the direction I was thinking of ;)
 
2013-12-19 02:11:21 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


Coal.  Coal-powered time machine.  Presents are compacted into coal.  Bad kids don't get their presents un-compacted.
 
2013-12-19 02:11:59 PM

mutterfark:
Some kind of neat screwdriver?


That's impossible!
Unless there's at least a little bit of orange juice, it's not a screwdriver.
 
2013-12-19 02:13:51 PM

UberDave: I'm more concerned with what the hell he is using to slow the passage of time which allows him to deliver presents to all those kids and blink into normal time when he does so!  There has to be some multi-dimension thing going on.  And while were at it, does he use some kind of phasing mechanism to pack all those damn presents on the sled?  Flying reindeer or not, they aren't going to be able to haul what has to be millions of metric tons of presents unless the presents themselves have been made massless somehow.


And, if time does slow for him, does each Christmas seem like 6 months to him?
http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2012-12/fyi-how-long-would-it- ta ke-santa-deliver-presents-every-kid-earth

Also, threadjacking a bit, does Superman/The Flash/etc. experience traveling at superspeed relativistically?  I mean, when Superman runs between distant cities/planets/etc. in seconds or minutes, does it seem to take days, weeks, months, or even years to them?
/threadjacking over
 
Displayed 50 of 60 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report