If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Celebslam)   Wanting to protect his rare trucker hat collection, Ashton Kutcher won't marry Mila Kunis without a prenup   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 47
    More: Interesting, Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis, trucker hat, prenup, Ace Hardware, punk'd  
•       •       •

2866 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Dec 2013 at 12:16 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-19 12:11:50 PM
She's worth over $30 mil.

Do a standard "what you bring into the relationship is yours, anything you make while married is 50% if divorced" thing.
 
2013-12-19 12:19:42 PM

Timmy the Tumor: She's worth over $30 mil.

Do a standard "what you bring into the relationship is yours, anything you make while married is 50% if divorced" thing.


And I'm sure he's worth a fair chunk with that sweet Nokia money. So it's a boon for both of them to get a pre-nup settled ahead of time.
 
2013-12-19 12:21:32 PM

Timmy the Tumor: She's worth over $30 mil.

Do a standard "what you bring into the relationship is yours, anything you make while married is 50% if divorced" thing.


Seems reasonable.  Toss in some "if we have kids, we split the time evenly" and you're good to go.
 
2013-12-19 12:21:52 PM
Dumb headline.  He is worth a fortune and so is she.
 
2013-12-19 12:30:19 PM
He should make her sign a "never to be seen without makeup" contract though.

www.eonline.com
 
2013-12-19 12:32:18 PM
"Pre-nup is a bad omen"

No, no it isn't.  You're a friggin' 'Hollywood Couple'.  If you expect your marriage to last more than 5 years, 10 at the outside, you're delusional and should seek professional mental health assistance.

The World has changed so much that "what was your before the marriage is yours after, you split 50/50 what was gained during it" should be THE LAW, not an exception requiring a signed agreement.
 
2013-12-19 12:33:06 PM
static.giantbomb.com
 
2013-12-19 12:34:18 PM

Leader O'Cola: He should make her sign a "never to be seen without makeup" contract though.


When you're able to show Ashton Kutcher how to be an even bigger douchebag, maybe it's time to examine your life under a more critical lens.
 
2013-12-19 12:39:35 PM

KatjaMouse: Timmy the Tumor: She's worth over $30 mil.

Do a standard "what you bring into the relationship is yours, anything you make while married is 50% if divorced" thing.

And I'm sure he's worth a fair chunk with that sweet Nokia money. So it's a boon for both of them to get a pre-nup settled ahead of time.


Apparently he's worth about $140 mil, so he has more of an incentive to get it signed.
 
2013-12-19 12:48:39 PM
There are a lot better looking starlets.
 
2013-12-19 12:52:44 PM

The Why Not Guy: Leader O'Cola: He should make her sign a "never to be seen without makeup" contract though.

When you're able to show Ashton Kutcher how to be an even bigger douchebag, maybe it's time to examine your life under a more critical lens.


where's that welcome to fark  pic when I need it.
 
2013-12-19 12:53:36 PM
FTA: An insider revealed to the National Enquirer:

"So, you're saying you've watched an episode of That 70's Show?"
"Well, it was late at night and I was nodding off quite a bit."
"Would you say you watched over 50% of the content?"
"....yyyyes."
"Can we use you as a 'source'?"
"Absolutely."
 
2013-12-19 12:53:50 PM
Mila Kunis gets Demi Moore's sloppy seconds.

/ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
 
2013-12-19 12:55:35 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-19 01:04:17 PM

Timmy the Tumor: She's worth over $30 mil.

Do a standard "what you bring into the relationship is yours, anything you make while married is 50% if divorced" thing.



Add a "if you get any of my money after the marriage ends, I get access to your body for sex, Mila" clause and we are good here.
 
2013-12-19 01:09:58 PM
Mila! I know you're a user here! Don't marry him! He's not the one for you, I am!

Leader O'Cola: He should make her sign a "never to be seen without makeup" contract though.

[www.eonline.com image 850x630]


I know, you've got a girlfriend who's way hotter than that.

Mila has a great personality.
She's intelligent.
She loves playing World of Warcraft.
She has a hot bod.
And she regularly plays dirty bad-girl lesbians in the movies.

Girls like that only appear once a generation. We should worship them.

Don't be jealous of what is superior to you.
 
2013-12-19 01:17:22 PM
If this Jupiter Ascending movie she's going to be the star of is going to be a hit and it does look interesting, a pre-nup may well be in Mila's best interests.
I would not be surprised at all that it's her career that's ascending while Ashton's is going south.
/It's been a long time since That 70s Show, Killers didn't exactly wow the audiences.
 
2013-12-19 01:26:45 PM

Wellon Dowd: [i.imgur.com image 850x1274]


I want to point out I find the phrase "clam-slamming" hilarious. And also very appropriate.

/I'll be in my bunk.
 
2013-12-19 01:45:08 PM
www.spyghana.com

The happy couple and the dog pitching in his thought on the matter
 
2013-12-19 01:46:34 PM
That guy is the luckiest sonovabiatch in the history of this planet. Well, except for the whole "being married to Demi Moore" thing.
 
2013-12-19 01:50:02 PM

Head_Shot: That guy is the luckiest sonovabiatch in the history of this planet. Well, except for the whole "being married to Demi Moore" thing.


Even with the Demi Moore thing, his luck proves that sometimes the actions of the Almighty are open to public criticism.
 
2013-12-19 02:03:17 PM

Kurmudgeon: If this Jupiter Ascending movie she's going to be the star of is going to be a hit and it does look interesting, a pre-nup may well be in Mila's best interests.
I would not be surprised at all that it's her career that's ascending while Ashton's is going south.
/It's been a long time since That 70s Show, Killers didn't exactly wow the audiences.


Ashton Kutcher is making $700,000 an episode for Two and a Half Men.  He's the highest paid sitcom star on TV.
 
2013-12-19 02:14:10 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: She loves playing World of Warcraft.


How is this a good thing?
 
2013-12-19 02:17:54 PM

Wellon Dowd: [i.imgur.com image 850x1274]


Holy Geebus!

Blonde or brunette?
Apple or Mac?
Campy or Shimano?
Ford or Chevy?
9mm or 45ACP?

Life is getting just too complicated.
 
2013-12-19 02:23:20 PM

Wellon Dowd: [i.imgur.com image 850x1274]


this may be my new favorite picture ever.
 
2013-12-19 02:23:26 PM
One of the smartest things he could ask for given how "Family law" works in the US. If you are not willing to protect what you have, you basically consent to letting others decide what happens to it.

Anyone got a photo of MK's Mom?

/Strictly for research purposes.
 
2013-12-19 02:24:50 PM

Head_Shot: That guy is the luckiest sonovabiatch in the history of this planet. Well, except for the whole "being married to Demi Moore" thing.


Tom Arnold was a nobody in the public eye until he married Roseanne.
 
2013-12-19 02:35:12 PM

Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: "Pre-nup is a bad omen"

No, no it isn't.  You're a friggin' 'Hollywood Couple'.  If you expect your marriage to last more than 5 years, 10 at the outside, you're delusional and should seek professional mental health assistance.

The World has changed so much that "what was your before the marriage is yours after, you split 50/50 what was gained during it" should be THE LAW, not an exception requiring a signed agreement.


Generally speaking, it is the law in most states.  The problem is that most family court judges are farking idiot political appointees and either don't know, or don't care what the law says.   And unless you're Ashton Kutcher, you don't have the resources available to appeal to the regular state courts when the asshat family court judge farks it up.
 
2013-12-19 02:36:37 PM
I always heard that guy was a lot smarter than the parts he plays.
 
2013-12-19 02:38:00 PM
Frankly, she could do better.
 
2013-12-19 02:44:48 PM

mizchief: I always heard that guy was a lot smarter than the parts he plays.


I like to think that he's an evil genius who figured out the formula for success to build his empire, and that the roles he chooses are nothing more than a giant middle finger to the human race.
 
2013-12-19 02:51:07 PM

meanmutton: Kurmudgeon: If this Jupiter Ascending movie she's going to be the star of is going to be a hit and it does look interesting, a pre-nup may well be in Mila's best interests.
I would not be surprised at all that it's her career that's ascending while Ashton's is going south.
/It's been a long time since That 70s Show, Killers didn't exactly wow the audiences.

Ashton Kutcher is making $700,000 an episode for Two and a Half Men.  He's the highest paid sitcom star on TV.


I'm embarrassed for you that you know that and came out to publicly share your knowledge with us.

I'm just here for the pictures.
 
2013-12-19 02:58:53 PM
Oh look. the studmen are out today
 
2013-12-19 03:16:20 PM

Wellon Dowd: [i.imgur.com image 850x1274]


I thank you for this good sir and I will be in my bunk.
 
2013-12-19 03:18:07 PM

Evil Mackerel: Head_Shot: That guy is the luckiest sonovabiatch in the history of this planet. Well, except for the whole "being married to Demi Moore" thing.

Tom Arnold was a nobody in the public eye until he married Roseanne.


Good point.
 
2013-12-19 03:27:33 PM

gravy chugging cretin.: meanmutton: Kurmudgeon: If this Jupiter Ascending movie she's going to be the star of is going to be a hit and it does look interesting, a pre-nup may well be in Mila's best interests.
I would not be surprised at all that it's her career that's ascending while Ashton's is going south.
/It's been a long time since That 70s Show, Killers didn't exactly wow the audiences.

Ashton Kutcher is making $700,000 an episode for Two and a Half Men.  He's the highest paid sitcom star on TV.

I'm embarrassed for you that you know that and came out to publicly share your knowledge with us.

I'm just here for the pictures.


If it makes you feel better, I googled it.

Then again, I don't see any reason for anyone to be embarrassed to know any particular bit of information about anything.
 
2013-12-19 03:57:25 PM

homarjr: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: She loves playing World of Warcraft.

How is this a good thing?


Would you rather she love listening to Nickelback? Or antiquing?
 
2013-12-19 04:02:48 PM

phillydrifter: Mila Kunis gets Demi Moore's sloppy seconds.

/ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww


Ashton gets Macauley Culkin's sloppy seconds.

Advantage: Kunis.
 
2013-12-19 05:06:29 PM
butterface !

/was cute
// no longer is
 
2013-12-19 05:16:10 PM

Wellon Dowd: [i.imgur.com image 850x1274]


I count at least 3 sharp knees in that picture.  Possibly 5 if we're counting the woman with the newspaper.
 
2013-12-19 05:26:48 PM

Leader O'Cola: He should make her sign a "never to be seen without makeup" contract though.

[www.eonline.com image 850x630]


Gee, a bewildered looking Mila in a foggy low-res looks worse than a well lit, smiling high-res Mila.

/anyone can not ever wear makeup and look like hell in the morning
 
2013-12-19 05:38:23 PM
She's Eastern Europe hideous.
Which makes for HOT when all dolled up.
But pull a train or two on them and they get all ugly....which MK has and is.
 
2013-12-19 08:36:44 PM

hermitage_deux: butterface !

/was cute
// no longer is


Yeah, Ashton has really let himself go.
Mila Kunis is the second best think to ever come to America from Ukraine.

/All hail Mila Jojovitch.
 
2013-12-19 10:48:02 PM
Chicks and makeup... the greatest trick the devil ever pulled.
 
2013-12-19 10:57:08 PM

Laobaojun: hermitage_deux: butterface !

/was cute
// no longer is

Yeah, Ashton has really let himself go.
Mila Kunis is the second best think to ever come to America from Ukraine.

/All hail Mila Jojovitch. Olga Kurylenko


Milla Jovovich is skanky.

/not trolling, but since she's a patron saint of FARK I expect a lot of nerd-rage.
 
2013-12-19 11:01:18 PM
She probably looks fine without  make up, but it's just bad photography. They probably got 10000 good looking pictures then a couple of bad ones ... and they submit the bad ones. I mean everybody has good and bad pictures of themselves. Maybe not Miranda Kerr ... but everybody else.
 
2013-12-19 11:57:17 PM

AutumnWind: She probably looks fine without  make up, but it's just bad photography. They probably got 10000 good looking pictures then a couple of bad ones ... and they submit the bad ones. I mean everybody has good and bad pictures of themselves. Maybe not Miranda Kerr ... but everybody else.


I would like to agree with you, but in this case, a quick GIS turns up maybe one picture of her looking even halfway decent in a candid or natural setting. It's possible her features are just too asiatic for me (round/flat face, shallow epicanthic folds, subcutaneous fat in the cheeks, short philtrum, short chin, sharp knees, etc.). Also, most women look like hell when they jack the shiat out of their eyebrows, regardless of the rest of their features.
 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report