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(Salon)   The six creepiest covers of the most disturbing, rapey Christmas song ever written, "Baby It's Cold Outside"   (salon.com) divider line 157
    More: Sick, darren criss, Rapey, Ariana Grande, shambling, cold outside, Chris Colfer, Levitt, John Travolta  
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5203 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Dec 2013 at 9:00 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-19 07:19:48 AM
What, the one where a female pig sexually harasses a ballet dancer didn't make the cut?
 
2013-12-19 08:21:35 AM
I thought the Lady Gaga and JGL one was good since they flip the script and its Joseph who is the one trying to leave.
 
2013-12-19 08:45:32 AM
When Will Ferrell's character on Elf is standing outside the shower of an unsuspecting Zoey Deshanel, they are singing along to a rape song.
 
2013-12-19 08:54:08 AM
Man, white people will never respect rape music.
 
2013-12-19 09:00:39 AM
Here's one that isn't so rapey.  Clever, and Sara is awesome.

Ben Folds and Sara Bareilles (vid).  It's got a funny lead in.  Song starts at 1:55.
 
2013-12-19 09:07:24 AM

kbronsito: When Will Ferrell's character on Elf is standing outside the shower of an unsuspecting Zoey Deshanel, they are singing along to a rape song.


She sings it beautifully in the movie.  I was disappointed in the version she recorded on the She & Him christmas album.
 
2013-12-19 09:07:43 AM
But what about the bestiality in "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"?

Won't someone think of the hippopotami???

/hippopotami? you barely know me!
 
2013-12-19 09:07:51 AM
I dunno, I thought Rod Stewart's version with Dolly Parton was creepy.

Then again, I think most of what Rod Stewart sings is creepy.
 
2013-12-19 09:13:00 AM
Can we make it racist in some way, too?  I feel like this song has more to give.
 
2013-12-19 09:14:25 AM
oddly enough, i had an idea for a winter horror film where some dude is raping someone and the song "baby its cold outside" plays as the music.

/man i really hate that song.
 
2013-12-19 09:15:06 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: I thought the Lady Gaga and JGL one was good since they flip the script and its Joseph who is the one trying to leave.


Same here, it was well done.  Didn't realize JGL could sing as well as he did.
 
2013-12-19 09:15:39 AM
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
 
2013-12-19 09:15:58 AM
No Homer & Jethro w/ June Carter ?


//// get off my lawn !
 
2013-12-19 09:17:31 AM

StoPPeRmobile: He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good


Santa's a Dom.
 
2013-12-19 09:23:23 AM
I bet every time articles like this appear, that song gets played much more often.

/you're not helping
 
2013-12-19 09:25:49 AM

The Muthaship: Can we make it racist in some way, too?  I feel like this song has more to give.


Cast a gangsta rapper as the Wolf, and the latest Disney teen idol as the Mouse.
 
2013-12-19 09:27:43 AM
Here are the lyrics:

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice

My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry?
Father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink? - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell

I ought to say no, no, no - Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ah, but it's cold outside

I've got to get home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your coat - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Thrill when you touch my hair
Why don't you see - How can you do this thing to me?

There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Think of my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Get over that hold out
Ah, but it's cold outside
Oh, baby, it's cold outside
Oh, baby, it's cold outside


Calling that rape trivializes rape.
 
2013-12-19 09:38:05 AM
Convince me they didn't use a Real Doll as a stand-in for Travolta in that picture.
 
2013-12-19 09:38:49 AM

FLMountainMan: Here are the lyrics:

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice

My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry?
Father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink? - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell

I ought to say no, no, no - Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ah, but it's cold outside

I've got to get home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your coat - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Thrill when you touch my hair
Why don't you see - How can you do this thing to me?

There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Think of my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Get over that hold out
Ah, but it's cold outside
Oh, baby, it's cold outside
Oh, baby, it's cold outside


Calling that rape trivializes rape.


Says a man who has never been pressured to "finish" a date.  Wink, wink.
 
2013-12-19 09:41:47 AM

FLMountainMan: Here are the lyrics:

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice

My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry?
Father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
Maybe just a half a drink more - Put some records on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink? - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell

I ought to say no, no, no - Mind if I move in closer?
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ah, but it's cold outside

I've got to get home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your coat - It's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - Thrill when you touch my hair
Why don't you see - How can you do this thing to me?

There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Think of my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Get over that hold out
Ah, but it's cold outside
Oh, baby, it's cold outside
Oh, baby, it's cold outside


Calling that rape trivializes rape.


Note that the male singer doesn't answer that question. Just because someone doesn't mean he has the balls to hold her down doesn't mean it isn't a rape.
 
2013-12-19 09:43:17 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: I thought the Lady Gaga and JGL one was good since they flip the script and its Joseph who is the one trying to leave.


So, basically, it's like "Paparazzi."

/that song scares me.
 
2013-12-19 09:43:18 AM
That song has also inspired one of the 9/11 hijackers to become a terrorist.

Some more rape music
 
2013-12-19 09:47:55 AM

FLMountainMan: Calling that rape trivializes rape.


Let It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia explain it to you:

http://youtu.be/MZ1lc6KASWg

It's not rape in and of itself, but it is providing coercive pressure to someone sending clear signals they aren't interested.
/can never hear the line "Say, what's in this drink?" without thinking roofies instead of just how strong it is, but getting someone liquored up isn't an example of sterling gentlemanliness especially if you are trying to convince them to become more intimate after getting a clear no.
 
2013-12-19 09:48:15 AM
 
2013-12-19 09:49:48 AM
The Eminem cover is pretty rapey too, but at least it's short:

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - biatch, I said it's cold out there, now lose the bra or I'll cut you.
[long record scratch sound followed by grunting, slapping noises and then quiet weeping]
 
2013-12-19 09:50:57 AM

Grungehamster: FLMountainMan: Calling that rape trivializes rape.

Let It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia explain it to you:

http://youtu.be/MZ1lc6KASWg

It's not rape in and of itself, but it is providing coercive pressure to someone sending clear signals they aren't interested.
/can never hear the line "Say, what's in this drink?" without thinking roofies instead of just how strong it is, but getting someone liquored up isn't an example of sterling gentlemanliness especially if you are trying to convince them to become more intimate after getting a clear no.


it's more  like she says she'd have half a drink more... as in a mix drink.  He pours her a double.
 
2013-12-19 09:52:21 AM
Key and Peele did it best:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc_F0zP9usU
 
2013-12-19 09:56:50 AM
Slightly OT, but when I want to hear a depressing Christmas song, I turn to John Denver's
"Please Daddy, Don't get drunk this Christmas"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGDjpWT6G-o
 
2013-12-19 09:58:21 AM
ionetheurbandaily.files.wordpress.com

Baby, it's cold outside.

So, let me piss in your mouth.
 
2013-12-19 10:13:12 AM
See, it's more of the reason WHY Olivia Newton-John has to trick him into staying that makes that one so weird.
 
2013-12-19 10:14:43 AM

FLMountainMan: Calling that rape trivializes rape.


Thank you. This is exactly what I came to say.
 
2013-12-19 10:26:38 AM
I never thought of it as rapey. It is a song of its time. Women had to pretend to be good because their only value was as virginal brides. So, in the song, she is making the required statements to prove she is a good girl.

Only with through eyes that allow a woman to express her sexuality anyway she chooses does the secondary meanings come out.

Remember, words can have two meanings.
 
2013-12-19 10:28:52 AM

Lord_Dubu: FLMountainMan: Calling that rape trivializes rape.

Thank you. This is exactly what I came to say.


Date rape is't legitimate rape.
 
2013-12-19 10:29:47 AM

blacknite: oddly enough, i had an idea for a winter horror film where some dude is raping someone and the song "baby its cold outside" plays as the music.

/man i really hate that song.


How did the pinball machine get outside?
 
2013-12-19 10:32:32 AM

Iblis824: Lord_Dubu: FLMountainMan: Calling that rape trivializes rape.

Thank you. This is exactly what I came to say.

Date rape is't legitimate rape.


Neither are roofies, or spiking someone's drink. When she hits the floor, it means she wants more!
 
2013-12-19 10:42:09 AM

FLMountainMan: Calling that rape trivializes rape.


Agreed. Rape is a noun or a verb. Obviously the song is a song, not a rape. Calling it rapey, however, is fair.
 
2013-12-19 10:43:26 AM

The_Philosopher_King: I never thought of it as rapey. It is a song of its time. Women had to pretend to be good because their only value was as virginal brides. So, in the song, she is making the required statements to prove she is a good girl.

Only with through eyes that allow a woman to express her sexuality anyway she chooses does the secondary meanings come out.

Remember, words can have two meanings.


It's still true to a degree; can't remember where I saw it, but a recent survey showed college age women admit to drinking in excess intentionally if they plan to hook up, because they couldn't "justify" doing such things sober. So yes: they put themselves at risk of far worse outcomes by putting themselves in dangerous situations so that they can look at themselves in the mirror in the morning. It's not as severe as it was before, but it still happens.

My issues with the song are it doesn't take away from the fact that someone "rising to the occasion" to go along with or encourage such behavior is really skeevy, and even if you think it's just an act and she "secretly wants it" pressuring someone who has already said no Is always very creepy.
 
2013-12-19 10:47:37 AM

The_Philosopher_King: I never thought of it as rapey. It is a song of its time. Women had to pretend to be good because their only value was as virginal brides. So, in the song, she is making the required statements to prove she is a good girl.

Only with through eyes that allow a woman to express her sexuality anyway she chooses does the secondary meanings come out.

Remember, words can have two meanings.


Thank you, what I came here to say.
It's like no one can pickup on the banter between them.
Probably would have been clearer had they not edited this verse:

I really can't stay - Top hole. Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
 
2013-12-19 10:53:25 AM
I really despise this song.

The content is not all that's bad about it, but I HATE THE SINGING OF THE LINES RIGHT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.

Geeze, I don't even HAVE the WORDS to describe how FRIGGIN' ANNOYING THAT IS.
 
2013-12-19 10:55:49 AM

LZeitgeist: I really despise this song.

The content is not all that's bad about it, but I HATE THE SINGING OF THE LINES RIGHT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.

Geeze, I don't even HAVE the WORDS to describe how FRIGGIN' ANNOYING THAT IS.


It is almost as annoying as being screamed at in Caps lock.
 
2013-12-19 11:00:11 AM
Baby, it's legitimately cold outside.
 
2013-12-19 11:01:51 AM

LZeitgeist: I really despise this song.

The content is not all that's bad about it, but I HATE THE SINGING OF THE LINES RIGHT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.

Geeze, I don't even HAVE the WORDS to describe how FRIGGIN' ANNOYING THAT IS.


Don't ever listen to Radiolab. They do that constantly.
 
2013-12-19 11:03:57 AM
Not a rape song. A rape song is the first Gaga song where she is drunk and doesnt know which club she is in.
 
2013-12-19 11:04:22 AM

fngoofy: The_Philosopher_King: I never thought of it as rapey. It is a song of its time. Women had to pretend to be good because their only value was as virginal brides. So, in the song, she is making the required statements to prove she is a good girl.

Only with through eyes that allow a woman to express her sexuality anyway she chooses does the secondary meanings come out.

Remember, words can have two meanings.

Thank you, what I came here to say.
It's like no one can pickup on the banter between them.
Probably would have been clearer had they not edited this verse:

I really can't stay - Top hole. Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.


It's apparently a meme now, the same way every one on the internet claims to be frightened of clowns.

The woman is just being coy, as most covers characterize. Jesus, it's like the whole world got autistic and wants to make a fuss over the exact words.
 
2013-12-19 11:05:29 AM

The_Philosopher_King: I never thought of it as rapey. It is a song of its time. Women had to pretend to be good because their only value was as virginal brides. So, in the song, she is making the required statements to prove she is a good girl.

Only with through eyes that allow a woman to express her sexuality anyway she chooses does the secondary meanings come out.

Remember, words can have two meanings.


It sort of reminds me of the prudishness of it's time. I just finished reading 11/22/63 by Steven King. It served as a nice reminder that even when people knew about extraordinary circumstances, they would still judge back then if folks were spending time together if they weren't married.

Plus, the song just sounds like a dude begging for ass.
 
2013-12-19 11:07:10 AM
I've always found this Avril Lavigne song to smell like festive rohypnol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGR65RWwzg8

I never would have heard it except a guy in my jam band has a daughter who likes A.L.

"So confusing...can't remember where I left my pants..."
 
2013-12-19 11:08:18 AM

FLMountainMan: Say, what's in this drink?


That line disturbs you in no way whatsoever? Especially when taken in context with the rest of the song?
 
2013-12-19 11:08:20 AM
Is posting an article about this song a yearly Fark tradition or something? I know this was posted last xmas and I'm pretty sure the one before that as well.
 
2013-12-19 11:08:24 AM

Grungehamster: The_Philosopher_King: I never thought of it as rapey. It is a song of its time. Women had to pretend to be good because their only value was as virginal brides. So, in the song, she is making the required statements to prove she is a good girl.
Only with through eyes that allow a woman to express her sexuality anyway she chooses does the secondary meanings come out.
Remember, words can have two meanings.
It's still true to a degree; can't remember where I saw it, but a recent survey showed college age women admit to drinking in excess intentionally if they plan to hook up, because they couldn't "justify" doing such things sober. So yes: they put themselves at risk of far worse outcomes by putting themselves in dangerous situations so that they can look at themselves in the mirror in the morning. It's not as severe as it was before, but it still happens.
My issues with the song are it doesn't take away from the fact that someone "rising to the occasion" to go along with or encourage such behavior is really skeevy, and even if you think it's just an act and she "secretly wants it" pressuring someone who has already said no Is always very creepy.



Valid point. It is a tough call.  Should we sing the song and acknowledge that times change, or not sing it and lose it from society's memory.

Same applies to other works. Mark Twain and race relations. Or even the current, "donning our gay apparel.
 
2013-12-19 11:09:26 AM
This version is funny as hell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAGCZMQUeXo
 
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