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(London 24)   Guess how many people get themselves locked in the toilet each year and have to call the Fire Brigade? Hint: A lot   (london24.com) divider line 38
    More: Dumbass, London Fire Brigade  
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1660 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2013 at 9:30 AM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-12-19 08:36:13 AM
The LFB's figures also show that, since April 2009, firefighters have been called ...12 times to rescue people trapped in cemeteries.

Okay, well that's a legit call.

i522.photobucket.com
 
2013-12-19 09:07:11 AM
No, the fire BRIgade. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what? ...

Size eight. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no of course not, Yes...

/the sodding hamster's dead
 
2013-12-19 09:20:41 AM

Gulper Eel: No, the fire BRIgade. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what? ...

Size eight. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no of course not, Yes...


--

Dammit. Too Late.

Well done indeed.
 
2013-12-19 09:22:08 AM
and i found a place it's dark and it's rotted
it's a cool, sweet kinda-place where the copters won't spot it
and i destroyed the map, i even thought i forgot it,
however, every-day i'm dumping the body
it'd be better for us if you don't understand it'd be
better for us if you don't understand it'd be better for me if you don't understand

let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out let me out
 
2013-12-19 09:33:09 AM
That's amazing, I could barely get my foot in there.
 
2013-12-19 09:34:46 AM
I'm going to bookmark this article for the next time a Brit starts going off about how idiotic us Americans are.
 
2013-12-19 09:40:43 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-19 09:46:10 AM
There have been a few genuine times in my oh sweet life where I have been kneeling on the krapper in genuflection on the point of it all or perhaps nothingness and that is when I send my thoughts to my Lord ... Uncle Eddy

Yep. shiatter is full. shiatter is full,,,, of hope.
/Merry Christmas
 
2013-12-19 09:53:19 AM

berylman: There have been a few genuine times in my oh sweet life where I have been kneeling on the krapper in genuflection on the point of it all or perhaps nothingness and that is when I send my thoughts to my Lord ... Uncle Eddy

Yep. shiatter is full. shiatter is full,,,, of hope.
/Merry Christmas


An asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my storm drain.
 
2013-12-19 09:54:54 AM
Can't you just climb over? Or under, but that's kind of gross.
 
2013-12-19 09:57:45 AM
stream1.gifsoup.com
 
2013-12-19 09:58:19 AM
Yet another greenlit thread about Brits' dumbass behavior, but no mention of "999" this time?
 
2013-12-19 10:14:44 AM
That may be so, but how many of them call because they are trapped in the toilet and also got a toilet roll holder stuck inside their rectum by accident?
 
2013-12-19 10:16:32 AM
I'm going to make a semi-educated guess as to what is really going on here.   At first glance, this sounds potato, but since the article actually says "toilets or bathrooms" this is almost certainly old people who pass out while taking a crap.   This happens a lot, and I go on these calls as an EMT.   So this is a medical call not a fire call.
 
2013-12-19 10:21:46 AM

eyeq360: That may be so, but how many of them call because they are trapped in the toilet and also got a toilet roll holder stuck inside their rectum by accident?


Or worse, a modified wooden toilet roll holder.

Wow. Just wow.
 
2013-12-19 10:22:47 AM

simusid: this is almost certainly old people who pass out while taking a crap.


I understand the U.S. Senate works along similar lines.
 
2013-12-19 10:24:52 AM

Carn: berylman: There have been a few genuine times in my oh sweet life where I have been kneeling on the krapper in genuflection on the point of it all or perhaps nothingness and that is when I send my thoughts to my Lord ... Uncle Eddy

Yep. shiatter is full. shiatter is full,,,, of hope.
/Merry Christmas

An asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my storm drain.


www.mikethefanboy.com
 
2013-12-19 10:31:34 AM

probesport:


"I'm disabled!"

Love that episode
 
2013-12-19 10:33:07 AM
That's ALOT, subby. Know your English.
 
2013-12-19 10:35:26 AM
Dear dear what can the matter be
seven old ladies got trapped in the lavatory
there were there from Sunday till Saturday
nobody knew they were there
 
2013-12-19 10:35:42 AM
I locked myself out of my new house when I moved this summer because I didn't realize the door was off-level and would close on it's own. I went next door to a mechanic garage and the first guy I set eyes on was 6'9". He climbed in my kitchen window like it was nothing and refused to take any money for helping. Now I get my car fixed there.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-12-19 10:39:06 AM
So, the lesson is poop in the street, Stay away from the bathroom, it's a trap!
 
2013-12-19 10:39:16 AM
in the toilet or the bathroom?  if it is toilet, then i am impressed.
 
2013-12-19 10:42:02 AM
Who puts a lock on their toilet any ways?  I figure if someone got that far into my house and wanted to do some business I'd prefer they use it then anything else.
 
2013-12-19 10:43:10 AM

Coming on a Bicycle: That's ALOT, subby. Know your English.


Is this is what you mean?

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-12-19 10:51:32 AM
no sgt. murtaugh yet?
 
2013-12-19 11:04:24 AM
The operator must have mis-understood when I said "I'll wait in here until you bring the hoes".
 
2013-12-19 11:16:26 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-12-19 11:35:35 AM
Not so CSB:
In the early 80's my dad woked as an Apartment Manager/Maintenance Man for several low income apt. complexes and I helped out afterschool.  One day we got a call from one of the tenants that his mother was stuck to the toilet.  One cheek had slipped into the seat hole and the fat expanded and she couldn't get out.  My dad asked the son to get on the floor and unscrew the seat bolts and when the seat was undone we all pulled her upright into a standing position and the son helped her push the cheek back through the seat hole.  I spent the next few weeks replacing toilet seats with the ones that have a space in the front.  Thanks dad.
 
2013-12-19 11:53:24 AM
WTF do the Brits mean by "allotment"?  How does one get stuck in an abstract process?
 
2013-12-19 12:08:16 PM

FrancoFile: WTF do the Brits mean by "allotment"?  How does one get stuck in an abstract process?


I think that's something like 'community garden' in Americanese.
 
2013-12-19 12:23:37 PM

haolegirl: Dear dear what can the matter be
seven old ladies got trapped in the lavatory
there were there from Sunday till Saturday
nobody knew they were there


Complete lyrics
http://bardbook.flame.org/songs/594

Seven would have been my guess also.
 
2013-12-19 12:27:28 PM

FrancoFile: WTF do the Brits mean by "allotment"?  How does one get stuck in an abstract process?


An allotment is a small urban or suburban allotment of land on which a city dweller or suburbanite may grow flowers or vegetables or simply putter around in a shed. This was an amenity greated in the UK during the Nineteenth Century and which became popular across Europe.

Typically an allotment will have a small shed for the storage of tools, but what you do with the land is largely your business. Most people will grow some vegetables or flowers. A cartoon from PUNCH magazine showed one man who turned his allotment into a tiny lawn with a deck chair to lounge on, which may very well be what some people do with their allotments despite being a joke.
 
2013-12-19 12:34:24 PM
You have locks on your toilets? Wtf
 
2013-12-19 12:42:39 PM

brantgoose: FrancoFile: WTF do the Brits mean by "allotment"?  How does one get stuck in an abstract process?

An allotment is a small urban or suburban allotment of land on which a city dweller or suburbanite may grow flowers or vegetables or simply putter around in a shed. This was an amenity greated in the UK during the Nineteenth Century and which became popular across Europe.

Typically an allotment will have a small shed for the storage of tools, but what you do with the land is largely your business. Most people will grow some vegetables or flowers. A cartoon from PUNCH magazine showed one man who turned his allotment into a tiny lawn with a deck chair to lounge on, which may very well be what some people do with their allotments despite being a joke.


So these are surrounded by a bunch of 8 foot fences or walls?  Is that how one gets locked in?
 
2013-12-19 01:31:05 PM
3000 in a bathroom?

Groucho is impressed.
 
2013-12-19 02:01:26 PM

Gulper Eel: No, the fire BRIgade. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what? ...

Size eight. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no of course not, Yes...

/the sodding hamster's dead


AND WE'RE DONE HERE
 
2013-12-20 12:03:05 PM

flazza: Coming on a Bicycle: That's ALOT, subby. Know your English.

Is this is what you mean?


'Alot' is not to be confused with the actual words 'a lot'.


//disappointed no mention of WC
 
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