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(The New Republic)   "Here is what the song makes clear: Donner, Prancer, Blitzen and the gang are assholes"   (newrepublic.com) divider line 100
    More: Amusing, Blitzen, Richard Donner, Thomas Hobbes, Nordstrom Rack, Clement Clarke Moore  
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3899 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Dec 2013 at 1:04 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-18 11:55:55 AM
Describing != promoting.
 
2013-12-18 12:30:00 PM
Despite the repeated snubs and the impolite request, Rudolph demonstrates his utility in brilliant form. At which point all the reindeer decide that they love him. Notice that they still don't apologize.
Perhaps I am wrong, but this strikes me as a terrible, terrible lesson for kids.


Give kids some credit. Grade-school kids realize that treating Rudolph like a freak was a shiatty thing for the other reindeer to do.

The grade-school kids that don't are sociopaths.
 
2013-12-18 12:33:27 PM
I have a 5 month old son at home.  When he was born, my wife's mom sent a bunch of her books from when she was a kid to us.  Last night, I read him this:

img0.etsystatic.com

Holy shiat, what a terrible message it sends.  Mickey, as Aladdin, climbs out of poverty by stealing.  While still poor, he is unaccepted by high society unless he has the right clothes.  He marries for money.  In the end, he is happy because he is now rich.

I closed the book and finished with "And I have no idea what the moral of that story is supposed to be."  That book is going in the pile along with several others from the '70s that won't be read to him when he is old enough to understand the story.

Anyway, about Rudolph, yeah those other reindeer are dicks, but it's really not that bad of a story.
 
2013-12-18 12:36:34 PM
The Santa in the Rudolph song is a guy who looks the other way while his star performers bully and mock a single, defenseless outsider. He's like a pot-bellied version of Sensei from The Karate Kid.

Actually, that's more Comet.

static3.wikia.nocookie.net

"Pain does not exist in this barn, does it?"
 
2013-12-18 01:08:02 PM
But Santa likes Rudolph. In fact, he needs him tonight.

;)
 
2013-12-18 01:08:19 PM

Lando Lincoln: Despite the repeated snubs and the impolite request, Rudolph demonstrates his utility in brilliant form. At which point all the reindeer decide that they love him. Notice that they still don't apologize.
Perhaps I am wrong, but this strikes me as a terrible, terrible lesson for kids.

Give kids some credit. Grade-school kids realize that treating Rudolph like a freak was a shiatty thing for the other reindeer to do.

The grade-school kids that don't are sociopaths.


I've worked with enough grade school kids to know that they are indeed, little sociopaths.
Most just grow out of it.
 
2013-12-18 01:08:20 PM
The point of fairy tales isn't to tell children that evil exists but rather to tell them that they can overcome evil.
 
2013-12-18 01:08:31 PM
I disagree that this sends a bad message.

I have always felt that watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer prepared me for the work place more so than college ever could have.
 
2013-12-18 01:09:58 PM
The lesson to take away is that if you're not at the front of the sleigh, the view never changes.
 
2013-12-18 01:10:08 PM
Play the Jack Johnson version.

Well Rudolph he didn't go for that 
he said "I see through your silly games" 
How could you look me in the face 
when only yesterday you called me names? 
Well all of the other reindeers man, 
well they sure did feel ashamed, 
"Rudolph you know we're sorry, 
we're truly gonna try to change"
 
2013-12-18 01:10:20 PM
Yeah... what the hell?!  Running over grandma every f*cking year... assholes indeed.
 
2013-12-18 01:10:21 PM
What's with the progressing red line at the top? Couldn't read TA, paranoid, waiting for what would happen when the line got all the way over to the right.
 
2013-12-18 01:10:25 PM
What about Olive, the "other" reindeer?
 
2013-12-18 01:10:59 PM
The worst reindeer was, by far, Olive.
 
2013-12-18 01:11:12 PM
The sequal is better. Rudolf goes in with an Ak 47 and blows the bullies away!
 
2013-12-18 01:11:38 PM

SpdrJay: I disagree that this sends a bad message.

I have always felt that watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer prepared me for the work place more so than college ever could have.


Also, you learn the importance of just having the basics:  cornmeal, gun powder, ham hocks, and guitar strings.
 
Ant
2013-12-18 01:11:45 PM

Lando Lincoln: Despite the repeated snubs and the impolite request, Rudolph demonstrates his utility in brilliant form. At which point all the reindeer decide that they love him. Notice that they still don't apologize.
Perhaps I am wrong, but this strikes me as a terrible, terrible lesson for kids.

Give kids some credit. Grade-school kids realize that treating Rudolph like a freak was a shiatty thing for the other reindeer to do.

The grade-school kids that don't are sociopaths.


No kidding. My 8-year-old son is the most tolerant person I've ever met.
 
2013-12-18 01:12:11 PM
Songs are not exclusively for children and they certainly do not require a lesson to be taught.

With that said, I've always thought this about many a song out there.

And no matter how you cut it, Santa Claus is a lie that is perpetuated with no concern to trust factors between people.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)
 
Ant
2013-12-18 01:12:29 PM

dittybopper: Describing != promoting.


This x 1 billion
 
2013-12-18 01:12:53 PM

dittybopper: Describing != promoting.


This. The whole point of the thing is that the bullies were wrong. How is that "promotion"?
 
2013-12-18 01:13:39 PM
A yellow nose would have worked better in the fog.
 
2013-12-18 01:13:40 PM
I guess morons with Aspergers have deadlines too.
 
GBB
2013-12-18 01:13:55 PM
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-12-18 01:14:28 PM

joaquin closet: What about Olive, the "other" reindeer?


24 seconds!  aaaaauuuugggghhhh!
 
2013-12-18 01:14:33 PM
In that claymation movie, Santa is a dick as well. In fact, there is not a single person in that film that doesn't deserve to be eaten by a snow monster. Though, I'm not sure the snow monster deserves the indigestion.
 
2013-12-18 01:15:08 PM
I guess the fact that Rudolph overcame all that on his own to achieve success is a bad lesson too. Perhaps some North Pole Council could instead enforce strict, non-bullying laws or maybe eliminate reindeer games altogether as exclusionary and elitist.
Then they could give every reindeer a chance to be the lead on Santa's sleigh in rotating shifts. Why should Rudolph get so much while others have little?
 
2013-12-18 01:15:13 PM
Don't forget about Santa who didn't do anything to stop the assholes and didn't notice Rudolph until his ass was in a bind.
 
2013-12-18 01:15:13 PM
I think conservatives already had "Prancer" targeted for more bullying.
 
2013-12-18 01:16:20 PM
Santa's kind if a prick too.

It's also pretty sexist.
 
2013-12-18 01:16:50 PM
i171.photobucket.com

Let's crush him!  Trample him to dust!  Then throw the remains of the dust to the wolves. Then blow up the wolves.
 
2013-12-18 01:17:40 PM
The standard joke interpretation of the song is that Rudolph is Jewish.
 
2013-12-18 01:18:07 PM

dittybopper: Describing != promoting.


Exactly.  I always thought the song worked well as an anti-bullying parable, myself; it promotes the idea that everybody has unique abilities and talents that can make them a hero in the right circumstances, even that guy that everybody picks on.
 
2013-12-18 01:18:16 PM
fc01.deviantart.net

Rudolf is not as innocent as he seems. Those "Raindeer Games" were illegal in most Southern States. Something about Sodomy.
 
2013-12-18 01:18:40 PM
And it drove Rudolph to excel and win the respect of his peers. Not go back with guns blazing. Conclusion: parents have completely farked their kids up over the last 20 years.
 
2013-12-18 01:20:21 PM

Errenden: Don't forget about Santa who didn't do anything to stop the assholes and didn't notice Rudolph until his ass was in a bind.


Santa was all business. "I don't give a shiat about your stupid reindeer games. Just get me some reindeer that can get the job done!"
 
2013-12-18 01:21:52 PM
What astonishes me is that there were at least one writer and one editor at New Republic who actually think it's a shocking revelation that the other reindeer were mean to Rudolph. "Oh gee, we weren't listening to the lyrics or paying even rudimentary attention to the TV special; thanks, TNR, for pointing it out!"
 
2013-12-18 01:21:53 PM

gadian: In that claymation movie, Santa is a dick as well. In fact, there is not a single person in that film that doesn't deserve to be eaten by a snow monster. Though, I'm not sure the snow monster deserves the indigestion.


Not to mention the freaking MURDEROUS elf who tosses the flightless bird out of the sleigh without an umbrella to a certain doom  ( effectively inventing the "Yard Dart" in the process  )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnuGi0P6-qc
 
2013-12-18 01:22:05 PM
The reindeer from the song are nothing compared to the asshole Santa in the television special. What an ass! When Rudolph's father, mother, and girlfriend go missing, and are presumed dead because of the abominable snow monster, he doesn't lift a finger to look for them. The only thing he worries about his who will pull his sleigh if Donner isn't there -- and then, if you notice at the end, Donner wasn't even pulling his sleigh!

This is in addition to the fact that Santa violated the ADA, clearly, by refusing to allow Rudolph to even be a candidate for sleigh-pulling, despite the fact that Rudolph clearly had flying skills that were superior to his classmates.

Asshole Santa is far worse than those jerk reindeer. In any event, it's clear that the North Pole was a cold, cold place and not just because of the temperature.
 
2013-12-18 01:22:38 PM
Wow, what a relavation!! Literally, nobody has ever thought of this before!! This means something!
 
2013-12-18 01:22:50 PM

doubled99: I guess the fact that Rudolph overcame all that on his own to achieve success is a bad lesson too. Perhaps some North Pole Council could instead enforce strict, non-bullying laws or maybe eliminate reindeer games altogether as exclusionary and elitist.
Then they could give every reindeer a chance to be the lead on Santa's sleigh in rotating shifts. Why should Rudolph get so much while others have little?


That will only hinder the efforts of unique snot creators to pull themselves up by their hoofstraps and rise above the moochers.
 
2013-12-18 01:22:56 PM
Michael Schaffer should be fired for ripping off Maddox.
 
2013-12-18 01:23:45 PM

The Fifth Dentist: gadian: In that claymation movie, Santa is a dick as well. In fact, there is not a single person in that film that doesn't deserve to be eaten by a snow monster. Though, I'm not sure the snow monster deserves the indigestion.

Not to mention the freaking MURDEROUS elf who tosses the flightless bird out of the sleigh without an umbrella to a certain doom  ( effectively inventing the "Yard Dart" in the process  )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnuGi0P6-qc


They were over Lake Michigan at the time.
 
2013-12-18 01:24:41 PM
I mean they all thought Rudolf was a freak until they needed him (or santa rather). I guess the moral of the story is it's okay to be weird as long as you make the most of your opportunities.
 
2013-12-18 01:25:54 PM
Maybe next year their will be an article on "red nosed" being a metaphor for Rudolph's erect penis.
 
2013-12-18 01:25:59 PM
img198.imageshack.us
 
2013-12-18 01:27:05 PM
So what happened the following year? Presumably, atmospheric conditions returned to normal -- i.e. it wasn't foggy again. In such circumstances, Rudolph wasn't really necessary, as we are led to understand that the original 8 reindeer managed just fine by themselves up until that one fateful year.

So did Santa hitch up Rudolph again, even though he wasn't needed anymore? That would increase his labor costs by 12% for no good reason. Or maybe Santa's a crappy businessman and just needlessly adds reindeer to the team for purely sentimental reasons or just because they did him a solid in the past: "hey, let's give Reindeer Pete a gig, too. His wife left him back in October. Put him next to Jim, my bowling buddy, who sucks at pulling a sleigh but is tells hilarious Pollock jokes!"

I like to think that Santa learned his lesson from Rudolph's story, installed some HID fog lights on the sleigh for future inclement weather, and laid Rudolph off with a pretty meager severance package. Another triumph of automation over human labor!
 
Ant
2013-12-18 01:27:30 PM

big pig peaches: Santa's kind if a prick too.

It's also pretty sexist.


No! This is man's work!
 
2013-12-18 01:28:15 PM

mazeville: The reindeer from the song are nothing compared to the asshole Santa in the television special. What an ass! When Rudolph's father, mother, and girlfriend go missing, and are presumed dead because of the abominable snow monster, he doesn't lift a finger to look for them. The only thing he worries about his who will pull his sleigh if Donner isn't there -- and then, if you notice at the end, Donner wasn't even pulling his sleigh!

This is in addition to the fact that Santa violated the ADA, clearly, by refusing to allow Rudolph to even be a candidate for sleigh-pulling, despite the fact that Rudolph clearly had flying skills that were superior to his classmates.

Asshole Santa is far worse than those jerk reindeer. In any event, it's clear that the North Pole was a cold, cold place and not just because of the temperature.


1) The ADA doesn't apply to non US territory
2) Rudolf's ugly nose isn't a handicap or disability. Ugly people don't get preferential treatment because they have nary-set eyes or a Drew Brees mole.
 
2013-12-18 01:29:31 PM

mazeville: The reindeer from the song are nothing compared to the asshole Santa in the television special. What an ass! When Rudolph's father, mother, and girlfriend go missing, and are presumed dead because of the abominable snow monster, he doesn't lift a finger to look for them. The only thing he worries about his who will pull his sleigh if Donner isn't there -- and then, if you notice at the end, Donner wasn't even pulling his sleigh!

This is in addition to the fact that Santa violated the ADA, clearly, by refusing to allow Rudolph to even be a candidate for sleigh-pulling, despite the fact that Rudolph clearly had flying skills that were superior to his classmates.

Asshole Santa is far worse than those jerk reindeer. In any event, it's clear that the North Pole was a cold, cold place and not just because of the temperature.


He's got a hard deadline.  Gotta go on December 25th come Hell or high water.  He doesn't have a choice.
 
2013-12-18 01:29:47 PM
 
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