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(Scotsman)   Mall Santas quitting their jobs in disgust. "It's nothing more than a cattle-herding exercise to keep the visits as short as possible so they can get as many people through the door as possible and make a lot of money" (pics)   (scotsman.com) divider line 58
    More: Interesting, Santa Claus, Edinburgh Christmas, Edinburgh, Father Christmas  
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4536 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Dec 2013 at 9:17 AM (29 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-18 08:08:20 AM
And when has it ever NOT been?

padresteve.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-18 08:11:46 AM
Headline read like a description of my doctor's office.
 
2013-12-18 08:34:31 AM
I don't know why, but the word "grotto" being used as often as it is in that article makes me uncomfortable.
 
2013-12-18 08:47:00 AM

Dust: I don't know why, but the word "grotto" being used as often as it is in that article makes me uncomfortable.


Heff, maybe.
 
2013-12-18 09:00:35 AM

Dust: I don't know why, but the word "grotto" being used as often as it is in that article makes me uncomfortable.


I heard Otto likes to get blotto at the grotto.

/The word is losing meaning
 
2013-12-18 09:01:10 AM
t1.gstatic.com

♫ In the grotto...♫
 
2013-12-18 09:03:19 AM
But many families said the grotto was not worth the price. Maria Heath, 53, from the West End, said: "The process is somewhat conveyor belt. Our daughter got a paint by numbers book which she is as likely to use as I am my new exercise bike."

Maria Heath, 53, sounds fat
 
2013-12-18 09:04:27 AM

August11: Headline read like a description of my doctor's office.


There's an Obamacare joke in there.  "If you DON'T like your doctor..."
 
2013-12-18 09:18:37 AM
Move it along. This ain't the god damn DMV.
 
2013-12-18 09:20:08 AM
Did the obvious tag get shipped to the North Pole to work in Santa's toy-making sweatshop?
 
2013-12-18 09:21:15 AM
Yeah when I was a kid the mall Santa let me bounce on his lap for like 15 minutes.....
 
2013-12-18 09:22:59 AM

SpdrJay: Yeah when I was a kid the mall Santa let me bounce on his lap for like 15 minutes.....


I hope you got a really good present for that.
 
2013-12-18 09:24:22 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: And when has it ever NOT been?

[padresteve.files.wordpress.com image 500x354]


Just when has ANY public event not involved cattle-herding exercises, to ensure the crowd doesn't accidentally trample children in a spontaneous stampede if nothing else?

/seems entitled snowflake syndrome is finally getting to the mall Santas
//reality is NOT your biatch and isn't going to make exceptions to the rules for you no matter how much of The Wall you tear down
 
2013-12-18 09:26:19 AM
i49.tinypic.com
 
2013-12-18 09:26:41 AM
Awwww you paid five bucks and expect santa to give the kid a tour over the city in his sled for a hour? Not. You get 1 minute of canned questions, and a crap chinese knock off toy worth 5 cents.

/welcome to the real world.
 
2013-12-18 09:33:19 AM

scottydoesntknow: But many families said the grotto was not worth the price. Maria Heath, 53, from the West End, said: "The process is somewhat conveyor belt. Our daughter got a paint by numbers book which she is as likely to use as I am my new exercise bike."

Maria Heath, 53, sounds fat


Having babbies in your 50s is stupid, too.

That being said, if you are and actor and all you can find is "Grotto Santa"....
 
2013-12-18 09:33:40 AM
Ho-ho-hum.

I'm quitting Fark in disgust.

/again
//well, not disgust, but boredom and the better feedback I get on Facebook
///with over 5000 fans, I get many responses to my posts
////whatever
 
2013-12-18 09:34:27 AM
Oh no! When did Christmas become so commercialized?!?!
 
2013-12-18 09:38:15 AM

Antidamascus: Oh no! When did Christmas become so commercialized?!?!


ivarfjeld.files.wordpress.com

/providing serious answers to rhetorical questions for over two decades
 
2013-12-18 09:39:36 AM
Underbelly. It's like they're not even trying to hide the sleaziness anymore.
 
2013-12-18 09:39:50 AM
But organiser Underbelly rejected claims the attraction represents poor value for money and said the time spent in the grotto "compared favourably" with other grottos.

"The most trusted name in kids' grottos since... well, never, really, but what do you want for free?"
 
2013-12-18 09:41:19 AM

Russ1642: Move it along. This ain't the god damn DMV.


Went to the Post Office this morning, right after they opened.  One of those places that I've learned to avoid during the god damn Christmas "crunch," if at all possible.  But I had a book that I wanted to send to a cousin, so I decided to try.  There were about 60 depressed and harried-looking people standing in a slow line.

So I thought "Fark this." Time for a Plan B on that book...
 
2013-12-18 09:41:31 AM

untaken_name: Antidamascus: Oh no! When did Christmas become so commercialized?!?!



/providing serious answers to rhetorical questions for over two decades


Look at that nose. That ain't co-cola in his bottle.

/or Santa's got rosacea
 
2013-12-18 09:42:28 AM

SoupJohnB: Russ1642: Move it along. This ain't the god damn DMV.

Went to the Post Office this morning, right after they opened.  One of those places that I've learned to avoid during the god damn Christmas "crunch," if at all possible.  But I had a book that I wanted to send to a cousin, so I decided to try.  There were about 60 depressed and harried-looking people standing in a slow line.

So I thought "Fark this." Time for a Plan B on that book...


You could tweet it.
 
2013-12-18 09:42:47 AM

vudukungfu: That being said, if you are and actor and all you can find is "Grotto Santa"....


More than that, an actor with 30-years of experience.

I'm picture Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie, getting fired from his role as a tomato in a commercial.
 
2013-12-18 09:43:59 AM
Yeah! Who would have thought that a seasonal business would be interested in making a lot of money in a short amount of time?!?
 
2013-12-18 09:44:32 AM
Dear Prospective Mall Santas,

Your job is not to get to know the kids who sit on your lap.  Part of your job is to appear to listen to each kid as they drone on about what sort of overpriced crap they want their parents to buy for them in the stores surrounding you.  The other part of your job is to pose for a picture with each kid so their parents can buy copies of the pics to give out to relatives who don't care about them or shove them in various drawers of various cabinets around their houses to be forgotten until the estate sales take place.

Any of you so inclined to want to strike up deep and meaningful relationships with the kiddies you encounter, or what we refer to as our sales boosters, please report to Human Resources for a session of counseling with Mr. Chris Hansen, who further explore your conduct and career goals.

Sincerely,

Mall Management
 
2013-12-18 09:44:33 AM
Bad Santa huh?
 
2013-12-18 09:46:37 AM

brimed03: untaken_name: Antidamascus: Oh no! When did Christmas become so commercialized?!?!

/providing serious answers to rhetorical questions for over two decades

Look at that nose. That ain't co-cola in his bottle.

/or Santa's got rosacea


Half coca-cola, half rum. That's the way us jolly guys drink it.
 
2013-12-18 09:46:38 AM

Antidamascus: Oh no! When did Christmas become so commercialized?!?!


It seems Christmas begins sooner each year.
 
2013-12-18 09:54:16 AM

Bit'O'Gristle: Awwww you paid five bucks and expect santa to give the kid a tour over the city in his sled for a hour? Not. You get 1 minute of canned questions, and a crap chinese knock off toy worth 5 cents.

/welcome to the real world.


Really! You think Martin Luther King is gonna let your f**king kid sit in his lap and piss on him?
 
2013-12-18 09:55:03 AM

brimed03: Look at that nose. That ain't co-cola in his bottle.

/or Santa's got rosacea


Could be old-school Coca-Cola, before they started taking the good stuff out of the coca-leaf extract they use for flavoring.
 
2013-12-18 09:57:27 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: And when has it ever NOT been?


Done in one. Complaining about over-commercialization of mall activities is like complaining about politicians in a democracy pandering for votes.
 
2013-12-18 10:10:00 AM
mallsurfer.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-18 10:12:50 AM
He should gotten a job doing this
 
2013-12-18 10:16:43 AM

padraig: vudukungfu: That being said, if you are and actor and all you can find is "Grotto Santa"....

More than that, an actor with 30-years of experience.

I'm picture Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie, getting fired from his role as a tomato in a commercial.



The woman at Macy's asked, "Would you be interested in full-time elf or evening and weekend elf?" I said, "Full-time elf."
I am a 33-year-old man applying for a job as an elf. I often see people in the streets dressed as objects and handing out leaflets. I usually avoid leaflets, but it breaks my heart to see a grown man dressed as a taco. So if there is a costume involved, I tend to not only accept the leaflet, but to accept it graciously, saying, "thank you so much," and thinking, "you poor son of a biatch."
This afternoon on Lexington Avenue, I accepted a leaflet from a man dressed as a camcorder. Hot dogs, tacos, video cameras, these things make me sad because there's no place for them, no community. They don't fit in on the streets.
I figure that at least as an elf I will have a place. I'll be in Santa's Village with all the other elves. We'll live in a fluffy wonderland, surrounded by candy canes and gingerbread shacks. It won't be quite as sad as being some big French fry out on a street corner.
 
2013-12-18 10:26:09 AM
Obvious tag on Christmas break?
 
2013-12-18 10:30:18 AM
andrewsidea.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-18 10:33:11 AM
Isn't the point of owning a business to make money? When did making money become a sin? You were hired off the street to play Santa for two weeks. Just do your job. You aren't actually Santa Claus
 
2013-12-18 10:33:44 AM

SoupJohnB: Russ1642: Move it along. This ain't the god damn DMV.

Went to the Post Office this morning, right after they opened.  One of those places that I've learned to avoid during the god damn Christmas "crunch," if at all possible.  But I had a book that I wanted to send to a cousin, so I decided to try.  There were about 60 depressed and harried-looking people standing in a slow line.

So I thought "Fark this." Time for a Plan B on that book...


Can you call them and read the book to them over the phone?
 
2013-12-18 10:39:39 AM

Psycat: Ho-ho-hum.

I'm quitting Fark in disgust.

/again
//well, not disgust, but boredom and the better feedback I get on Facebook
///with over 5000 fans, I get many responses to my posts
////whatever


static.fjcdn.com
 
2013-12-18 10:50:06 AM

shirtsbyeric: SoupJohnB: Russ1642: Move it along. This ain't the god damn DMV.

Went to the Post Office this morning, right after they opened.  One of those places that I've learned to avoid during the god damn Christmas "crunch," if at all possible.  But I had a book that I wanted to send to a cousin, so I decided to try.  There were about 60 depressed and harried-looking people standing in a slow line.

So I thought "Fark this." Time for a Plan B on that book...

Can you call them and read the book to them over the phone?


It's actually a rare book that I found, but you Farkers now have me thinking of doing a reading via Skype or You Tube.

/copyright date 1922

//glances out window to make sure no kids are playing on the lawn
 
2013-12-18 10:55:28 AM

SoupJohnB: Russ1642: Move it along. This ain't the god damn DMV.

Went to the Post Office this morning, right after they opened.  One of those places that I've learned to avoid during the god damn Christmas "crunch," if at all possible.  But I had a book that I wanted to send to a cousin, so I decided to try.  There were about 60 depressed and harried-looking people standing in a slow line.

So I thought "Fark this." Time for a Plan B on that book...


I'd seriously look at the money value of my time + shipping, then see what the book costs on amazon with the ship to address being your cousin.

It's sad that that can be the more cost efficient strategy.
 
hej
2013-12-18 10:57:12 AM
nicholascageyoudontsay.jpg
 
2013-12-18 10:59:14 AM

SoupJohnB


It's actually a rare book that I found, but you Farkers now have me thinking of doing a reading via Skype or You Tube.

/copyright date 1922


You could always send it via UPS. The pricing (based on the packages I shipped this year) shouldn't be dramatically different and there will be much shorter lines, if any at all.
 
2013-12-18 11:07:41 AM
SPOILER ALERT

Back in the day,,,
Friends and neighbors gathered together with a fist full of hyper-wound kids, all entranced by the FARKING LIE of Santa.
I got short straw, or failed to make a meeting, somehow, I was the designated Santa. Costumed and bagged, I entered the fray.
At the time my oldest was 4 and in full Santa IS REAL Mode.
Watching the kids literally wet their panties over a False God nearly killed me on the spot.
If you need an epiphany soon, try it.

/just how the hell the evangelist frauds can keep up the "Christians Give Me Money 'Cause I Talk To God" is a total mystery, they are not hooked up right
 
2013-12-18 11:08:21 AM

SoupJohnB: Russ1642: Move it along. This ain't the god damn DMV.

Went to the Post Office this morning, right after they opened.  One of those places that I've learned to avoid during the god damn Christmas "crunch," if at all possible.  But I had a book that I wanted to send to a cousin, so I decided to try.  There were about 60 depressed and harried-looking people standing in a slow line.

So I thought "Fark this." Time for a Plan B on that book...


You could over-estimate the weight, print the postage online, and drop it in a mailbox.
 
2013-12-18 11:18:37 AM

snocone: SPOILER ALERT

Back in the day,,,
Friends and neighbors gathered together with a fist full of hyper-wound kids, all entranced by the FARKING LIE of Santa.
I got short straw, or failed to make a meeting, somehow, I was the designated Santa. Costumed and bagged, I entered the fray.
At the time my oldest was 4 and in full Santa IS REAL Mode.
Watching the kids literally wet their panties over a False God nearly killed me on the spot.
If you need an epiphany soon, try it.

/just how the hell the evangelist frauds can keep up the "Christians Give Me Money 'Cause I Talk To God" is a total mystery, they are not hooked up right


I get the idea your mommy didn't love you enough.
 
2013-12-18 11:19:25 AM

scottydoesntknow: I heard Otto likes to get blotto at the grotto.


domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
 
2013-12-18 11:23:24 AM
Get back in there and drink your ovaltine while you think about the hell the guy whose lap you sat on went through to keep your delusions alive this long.
 
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