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(NBC News) NewsFlash Who just cashed a $636MM bonus for being in Silicon Valley?   (usnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 81
    More: NewsFlash, Mega Millions, Silicon Valley, bouncing ball, NBC News  
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12850 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Dec 2013 at 2:04 AM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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81 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-18 02:07:13 AM  
Shia LeBeouf? IMHO it was Shia LeBeouf.
 
2013-12-18 02:07:43 AM  
You woke me up for this?

/newsflash is for news. Not something that happens every damned week that we all knew would happen tonight.
//bad admin. No beer.
 
2013-12-18 02:08:26 AM  
I think I speak for everyone when I say, Congratulations you son of a biatch.
 
2013-12-18 02:08:30 AM  
Meh, I 'won' $2...after spending $5 on tickets. Better than nothing.
 
2013-12-18 02:08:53 AM  
Can I assume that "MM" stands for Milo Minderbinder?
 
2013-12-18 02:09:39 AM  
Damn, lost again.
 
2013-12-18 02:09:54 AM  
the good news is that the winnings will almost pay off a mortgage in San Jose, so congrats!
 
2013-12-18 02:10:27 AM  
Fark using the newsflash tag for this. Bad mod, bad subby, no beers or boobs for you.
 
2013-12-18 02:12:19 AM  
DAMN, those were the numbers I was gonna pick.
 
2013-12-18 02:12:38 AM  
FTFA: "I leave it in the hands of the bouncing balls."

nice.
 
2013-12-18 02:12:47 AM  
News flash? Really?
 
2013-12-18 02:13:11 AM  
The least the winners could do is return my $5 to me.
 
2013-12-18 02:14:57 AM  
Not me. FML

/Back to work tomorrow.
 
2013-12-18 02:16:52 AM  
The owner of Jenny's market look happy! He'll get 500k after taxes
 
2013-12-18 02:17:01 AM  
I think it's a decent use of the Newsflash tag.

I buy a ticket twice a week. I literally have several months of tickets stashed in my home office drawer. I buy my tickets at the same place every week and I figure if there was a big winner there, I'd see a sticker on their window announcing it.

I stop in to get an overpriced, carbonated soda and spend an extra buck on a lottery ticket. I get more than $1's worth of dream and releasing stress thinking about how I would relax if I won.

The "high" I get from meditating off of how I will change once I win is comparable to the null I get from drinking a bottle of whatever. In any case, I come out ahead.
 
2013-12-18 02:17:03 AM  
$636mil in east San Jose?  That can buy a lot of ammunition and an armored hoopty.
 
2013-12-18 02:17:50 AM  
I played Justin Tucker's field goal lengths with his number as the Megaball. If I ever meet him, I'm gonna ask him to sign the ticket.
 
2013-12-18 02:18:05 AM  
Well, nobody is getting 600 million out of this. I don't really get the headline.
 
2013-12-18 02:18:54 AM  

Triumph: I played Justin Tucker's field goal lengths with his number as the Megaball. If I ever meet him, I'm gonna ask him to sign the ticket.


Heh.
 
2013-12-18 02:19:42 AM  
Nobody, it was split between 1 winner in CA and 1 in GA.
 
2013-12-18 02:20:14 AM  
Someone won in Atlanta? I live there! That could have been me.

Oh, the ticket was purchased at Phipps. Nevermind
 
2013-12-18 02:23:49 AM  
A winner in Georgia means possible redneck winner.  Please let it be so, we could use the funny headlines
 
2013-12-18 02:24:27 AM  
Losing saved my life. If I had won, I would have suffocated to death under a pile of Playboy Playmate call-girls on a specially chartered Virgin Galaxy orbital flight piloted by Captain Sully.
 
2013-12-18 02:24:45 AM  
I won $3....so I have that going for me....which is nice.
 
2013-12-18 02:24:48 AM  
To all the idiots who waste their money on this shiat: Thanks for making my taxes just slightly lower by deciding to take the optional moron tax.

I appreciate it more than you know.
 
2013-12-18 02:28:55 AM  

gweilo8888: To all the idiots who waste their money on this shiat: Thanks for making my taxes just slightly lower by deciding to take the optional moron tax.

I appreciate it more than you know.



Meh.....I only spent $7 on my picks today.....only play lotteries once or twice a year.

But yes, you have the yahoos waste too much money on it.
 
2013-12-18 02:29:45 AM  

Shadow Blasko: You woke me up for this?

/newsflash is for news. Not something that happens every damned week that we all knew would happen tonight.
//bad admin. No beer.


You really get woken up for fark headlines?
 
2013-12-18 02:41:06 AM  
Spent $2, won $5.  Nice, except for the fact that I live in Vegas and had to drive over the Dam to Arizona to buy the tickets.
 
2013-12-18 02:43:47 AM  
I'm sure I'm a relative of the guy, who can crawl out of the woodwork and ask for money. Sure, not a close one - I may need to trace the family tree back a few centuries or even thousands of years, but we've gotta be distantly related somehow. Keep the money in the family, right?
 
2013-12-18 02:56:26 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: A winner in Georgia means possible redneck winner.  Please let it be so, we could use the funny headlines

 
2013-12-18 02:57:56 AM  

gweilo8888: To all the idiots who waste their money on this shiat: Thanks for making my taxes just slightly lower by deciding to take the optional moron tax.

I appreciate it more than you know.


You're the one that's missing out.  Do you know how much daydreaming you can get for $5?
 
2013-12-18 03:00:24 AM  
The usual justification for buying lottery tickets is that people are buying themselves $2 worth of fantasies.  Perhaps, but when you lose and have to trudge off to your hated job in the morning, aren't you getting maybe $10 worth of disappointment and frustration?

On top of that, if you piss away a few bucks on lottery tickets every week, that's like throwing away a Hawaiian vacation every few years.  Not to mention those times you don't really need anything else, but are driving to a convenience store just for lottery tickets.

On top of that, the payback percentage of lotteries is about 50% compared to Las Vegas which is up to 99% for blackjack and dollar slots.  Plus, Las Vegas has showgirls and free drinks--lotteries really are a stupid tax.

I just keep my money in my wallet--I have a 100% chance of breaking even for every $2 I don't waste on the lottery.

Finally, now we're safe, for a few weeks at least, from tiresome news articles about the lottery--now we can go back to tiresome news articles about Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian being attention whores..
 
2013-12-18 03:00:54 AM  
Life goes on, life continues to suck....
 
2013-12-18 03:02:32 AM  

aerojockey: gweilo8888: To all the idiots who waste their money on this shiat: Thanks for making my taxes just slightly lower by deciding to take the optional moron tax.

I appreciate it more than you know.

You're the one that's missing out.  Do you know how much daydreaming you can get for $5?


For a $3 joint or $5 blotter of LSD, I can have very vivid daydreams...
 
2013-12-18 03:07:24 AM  

Psycat: The usual justification for buying lottery tickets is that people are buying themselves $2 worth of fantasies.  Perhaps, but when you lose and have to trudge off to your hated job in the morning, aren't you getting maybe $10 worth of disappointment and frustration?

On top of that, if you piss away a few bucks on lottery tickets every week, that's like throwing away a Hawaiian vacation every few years.  Not to mention those times you don't really need anything else, but are driving to a convenience store just for lottery tickets.

On top of that, the payback percentage of lotteries is about 50% compared to Las Vegas which is up to 99% for blackjack and dollar slots.  Plus, Las Vegas has showgirls and free drinks--lotteries really are a stupid tax.

I just keep my money in my wallet--I have a 100% chance of breaking even for every $2 I don't waste on the lottery.

Finally, now we're safe, for a few weeks at least, from tiresome news articles about the lottery--now we can go back to tiresome news articles about Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian being attention whores..


If I had the money skills to save for a vacatation "every few years", the chances are something important will keep taking that small sock of change away. Guaranteed. Engine died? Sock. Wife leaves? Sock.

Let me have my tree fiddy dreams.
 
2013-12-18 03:09:55 AM  

doczoidberg: Life goes on, life continues to suck....


Life mostly sucks because people have unrealistic expectations.  Don't buy into the greed-is-good mantra, don't waste time drooling over celebrities showing off their wealth on TV, and learn to be happy with stuff within your reach, and life is a lot nicer...
 
2013-12-18 03:10:08 AM  
meh, not me.  Dreams are worth the $1, same goes for every single one of my co-workers; you buy the ticket and figure what you're going to do with the money.  If you don't buy a ticket, you don't even have a chance.  The smarter ones bought just one ticket, figuring that more tickets didn't raise the odds much.  The slower ones didn't hold back once the jackpot went past 500 million.

/whole paychecks, gone...
//one guy we have a 3-ticket rule for: he's a compulsive gambler
 
2013-12-18 03:11:57 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: A winner in Georgia means possible redneck winner.  Please let it be so, we could use the funny headlines


At Phipps Plaza? Unlikely.

The rich get richer. Or the poser-rich get rich since Phipps does attract a wannabe crowd.
 
2013-12-18 03:16:48 AM  
There were 259 million possible number combinations that could land a jackpot.

No, there was only one. And I didn't have i.t.
 
2013-12-18 03:20:20 AM  
Another random thought:  if you're a Christian or other True Believer who believes that there really, truly is a Heaven waiting for you after death, why should you give a shiat if you lose the lottery and have to work a drudge job for the rest of your life?  If Heaven truly exists, you'll be a billion trillion times richer than Bill Gates and the rest of the Fortune 400 combined, and your proverbial three-score-and-ten-years spent being a poor slob in this 'vale of tears' will seem like nothing compared to eternity in Heaven.

That is, if you really do believe in Heaven and aren't just some tiresome hypocrite who doesn't really take your religion seriously.

And if you're an atheist like I am, so what if other people are richer than you are?  They'll lose everything in the end anyways because Death is the great leveler--in fact, they'll have more to lose than you will.  If you have decent health, get the occasional buzz or rousing orgasm, and have some sense of contentment,  you're enjoying all the happiness that the Universe has to offer and the addition of 600 million bucks isn't going to make you much happier.  In fact, having a lot of money might put you on the 'hedonistic treadmill' where no amount of Lamborghinis, blow-jobs from the upstairs maid, or heroin will make you happy.

Besides, I found a cache of old Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons on the Internet Archives, and that alone is enough to tilt my life into the plus side of the Joy-Suffering Continuum...
 
2013-12-18 03:26:03 AM  
I wonder how many kids went hungry this week or won't get new clothes for Christmas due to lottery ticket purchases.
 
2013-12-18 03:28:03 AM  

Psycat: no amount of Lamborghinis, blow-jobs from the upstairs maid, or heroin will make you happy.



I don't know, Psy.  I just might be willing to risk it.
 
2013-12-18 03:36:12 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: A winner in Georgia means possible redneck winner.  Please let it be so, we could use the funny headlines


A winner in East San Jose means possible gangbanger or likely illegal alien
 
2013-12-18 03:40:27 AM  
Hey- I won $2 back on my $5.

/time to blow it on scratchers
 
2013-12-18 03:58:18 AM  
What part of Georgia is Silicone Valley in again?
 
2013-12-18 04:12:44 AM  

aerojockey: You're the one that's missing out.  Do you know how much daydreaming you can get for $5?


I don't need to spend money to daydream. I'm not missing out on anything except having my money siphoned off one dollar at a time, and I'm well aware of that.
 
2013-12-18 04:13:43 AM  

salsashark1: What part of Georgia is Silicone Valley in again?


There are two winning tickets one from East San Jose California, one from some where in Georgia.
 
2013-12-18 04:22:20 AM  
I bet my California politicians have called an emergency meeting on how they'll spend the taxes from the lottery.

I think I read an article how California has budgeted taxes from the Facebook IPO into their budget before the IPO. Then the stock went down to 17-20 during the first year so they were short several million dollars in taxes they had been expecting to get.
 
2013-12-18 04:30:27 AM  
I'm okay not winning at 1 in 259 million odds or whatever. Basically, I ask that nothing really bad happens to me that has a small chance (1 in 500000 chance of being struck by lighting in a given year, 1 in 125 chance of dying in a car wreck, 1 in 19000 of being murdered), and I won't ask for a good 1 in 259 million chance thing of happening to me.

(PS, don't quote me on those statistics, but you get the idea.)
 
2013-12-18 04:31:38 AM  
The cost of living is off the charts man!
 
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