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(National Post)   According to research, about one in two hundred women report getting pregnant by midi-chlorians   (news.nationalpost.com) divider line 77
    More: Unlikely, biostatistics, longitudinal study, British Medical Journal  
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6901 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Dec 2013 at 2:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-18 01:31:29 AM  
I figured it was just a case of proximity, not actual intercourse. "Virgin" birth makes total sense, in that case.
 
2013-12-18 02:25:42 AM  
In other words, biatches be lying
 
2013-12-18 02:29:52 AM  
Mary may have been the best liar of all time.
 
2013-12-18 02:30:04 AM  
Sounds legit.
 
2013-12-18 02:30:48 AM  
Usually they're dismissed as liars or lunatics, but every once in a great while, things get completely out of hand.
 
2013-12-18 02:31:31 AM  
In her book The Second Sex, Simone de Beauvoir cited reams of scientific reports about women getting pregnant without sex, including proximity. It is good see that mean are still not required for pregnancy even though the patriarchal scientific establishment insists that they are. Biology won't change just because your political will to power is all about using medicine for your wish fulfillment, boys!
 
2013-12-18 02:34:15 AM  
"Just the tip" still works?
 
2013-12-18 02:37:31 AM  
If it's truly a virgin birth the DNA tests would be very interesting.
 
2013-12-18 02:38:05 AM  

waypat68: "Just the tip" still works?



Does anyone ever win that game?
 
2013-12-18 02:39:05 AM  
s2.quickmeme.com
 
2013-12-18 02:41:23 AM  
tshirtgroove.com
 
2013-12-18 02:41:51 AM  
Not that I give a shiat about their claims, but it would be interesting to confront those claiming virgin pregnancy, and then press them on whether a baby came out, and if so, does it yet live, and if the latter answered affirmatively, then find the kid and DNA test it, determine the father, and then go back to the virgin and ask her why she is so farking stupid.

Or just save a lot of effort and ask her why she's so stupid without all the investigative work.
 
2013-12-18 02:42:26 AM  
It is actually true that teenage girls can get pregnant from standing downwind of teenage boys
 
2013-12-18 02:43:21 AM  

SevenizGud: Not that I give a shiat about their claims, but it would be interesting to confront those claiming virgin pregnancy, and then press them on whether a baby came out, and if so, does it yet live, and if the latter answered affirmatively, then find the kid and DNA test it, determine the father, and then go back to the virgin and ask her why she is so farking stupid.

Or just save a lot of effort and ask her why she's so stupid without all the investigative work.


She'd just say she was raped.
 
2013-12-18 02:44:09 AM  

SevenizGud: Not that I give a shiat about their claims, but it would be interesting to confront those claiming virgin pregnancy, and then press them on whether a baby came out, and if so, does it yet live, and if the latter answered affirmatively, then find the kid and DNA test it, determine the father, and then go back to the virgin and ask her why she is so farking stupid.

Or just save a lot of effort and ask her why she's so stupid without all the investigative work.


That doesn't sound interesting at all.
 
2013-12-18 02:49:03 AM  
Jesi
 
2013-12-18 02:50:22 AM  
The world is full of crazy.  These people actually end up as parents?!?
 
2013-12-18 02:50:46 AM  

LiberalWeenie: SevenizGud: Not that I give a shiat about their claims, but it would be interesting to confront those claiming virgin pregnancy, and then press them on whether a baby came out, and if so, does it yet live, and if the latter answered affirmatively, then find the kid and DNA test it, determine the father, and then go back to the virgin and ask her why she is so farking stupid.

Or just save a lot of effort and ask her why she's so stupid without all the investigative work.

She'd just say she was raped.


No. She was roofied at a party. Everyone knows that.
 
2013-12-18 02:54:17 AM  
"Oh crud! Oh crud! Oh crud! They're going to kill me! What do I do?! Oh, wait. They already believe in magical sky faeries..."

"Mom. Dad. Lookit! Magic!"
 
2013-12-18 02:56:22 AM  

bingethinker: If it's truly a virgin birth the DNA tests would be very interesting.


DNA is just a creation of the patriarchal science establishment that claims men are necessary. Don't bring those lies around here.
 
2013-12-18 02:57:50 AM  

pedobearapproved: waypat68: "Just the tip" still works?


Does anyone ever win that game?


Every time I cum, I'm a winner, it doesn't matter if it's just the tip.
 
2013-12-18 02:58:57 AM  
Came for X-Files reference. Leaving disappointed.
 
2013-12-18 03:05:11 AM  
Coincidentally, the same number of women get blackout drunk.
 
2013-12-18 03:07:17 AM  
Parthenogenesis is a real thing in some species, although there's no way for it to produce a male child in humans.
 
2013-12-18 03:10:16 AM  
Oh, Jesus Christ.
 
2013-12-18 03:10:20 AM  

AphoticStar: Came for X-Files reference. Leaving disappointed.


Couldn't find a gif of Scully asking if Luke brought his lightsaber, so here's a picture of the original midi-chlorian mother.

img.fark.net
 
2013-12-18 03:12:24 AM  
1. I did not have sex (with the man I intend to marry as God told me to)
1a. Therefore I am a virgin.
2. But somehow I became pregnant
Conclusion: It was a virgin birth. (Or at least a virgin pregnancy.)

If you insist to girls that sex is a special magical wonderful God-given miracle that they must only share with the man who is going to be their life-long husband after a holy sacrament in church blessed by a preacher of some sort, then it follows that ANYTHING ELSE they do with their naughty bits, whatever that is, is not sex. It's something "else". Which sounds like the kind of thing a retarded toddler would tell herself to explain why she didn't really steal that cookie, but we are talking about religion after all.
 
2013-12-18 03:12:54 AM  
i am told that there are religious groups/cults
that, in exchange for the pledge, declare you to be a virgin
 
2013-12-18 03:22:07 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-18 03:24:13 AM  
There's a world of difference between "[X] happened" and "[X] was indicated from a combination of survey responses."
 
2013-12-18 03:35:52 AM  

Bennie Crabtree: In her book The Second Sex, Simone de Beauvoir cited reams of scientific reports about women getting pregnant without sex, including proximity. It is good see that mean are still not required for pregnancy even though the patriarchal scientific establishment insists that they are. Biology won't change just because your political will to power is all about using medicine for your wish fulfillment, boys!


If the Bible is to be believed, it is the first and probably only recorded case of human parthenogenesis, where embryos grow and develop without male fertilization. This has been observed in many species, including insects, birds, reptiles, crustaceans, and even some sharks, but there's no record of it ever occurring in mammals, and it always produces a half-clone that is always female so I think this theory can be safely ruled out for Jesus.
 
2013-12-18 03:39:00 AM  
This is the most appropriate response I could think of.

img.fark.net
 
2013-12-18 03:51:44 AM  
"I think the question I get asked the most is, well I dunno know, it happens a lot, enough that I would remark on it - a lot of people come up to me and they say "Is it possible for a woman to get pregnant without intercourse?" My answer's always the same, I say: "Listen. We're gonna have to go all the way back to the civil war. Apparently a stray bullet actually pierced the testicle of a Union soldier and then lodged itself in the ovaries of an 18 year old girl who was actually 100 feet from him at the time. Well, the baby was fine. She was very happy. Guilt-free. Course, the soldier's a little pissed off. When ya think about it, it's actually a form of intercourse, but not for everyone. Those who love action, maybe."

-Tom Waits
 
2013-12-18 03:57:03 AM  
Let's be fair, men are pretty careless with their semen and I don't mean shooting irresponsible loads into women. If it's an empty room and a man has been there, chances are we left some DNA behind. Maybe one in 200 just sat in it by mistake. Seems legit.
 
2013-12-18 04:05:19 AM  
The older I get, the more amazed I am at how many crazy people exist all around me.
 
2013-12-18 04:07:39 AM  

Diego Dominguez: Let's be fair, men are pretty careless with their semen and I don't mean shooting irresponsible loads into women. If it's an empty room and a man has been there, chances are we left some DNA behind. Maybe one in 200 just sat in it by mistake. Seems legit.


If that were true every woman that has ever been in my room would be struck pregnant

\for a grand total of zero
\\am I doing this right?
 
2013-12-18 04:30:49 AM  

LiberalWeenie: SevenizGud: Not that I give a shiat about their claims, but it would be interesting to confront those claiming virgin pregnancy, and then press them on whether a baby came out, and if so, does it yet live, and if the latter answered affirmatively, then find the kid and DNA test it, determine the father, and then go back to the virgin and ask her why she is so farking stupid.

Or just save a lot of effort and ask her why she's so stupid without all the investigative work.

She'd just say she was raped.


If those damned midi-chlorians stuck a baby in her without consent, she kind of was.

/yup, according to Lucas, the entire Skywalker family was the result of microscopic sexual assault. So if you were a Star Wars fan as a kid who really liked Luke and/or Leia, Lucas may not have raped your childhood, but he is claiming a lot of your fond childhood memories were the result of rape. Of all the ham-handed "virgin birth" tales ever pointlessly dropped into bad sci-fi, his was clearly the least thought out.
 
2013-12-18 04:56:18 AM  
The way the article was phrased, it seems the girls merely reported being pregnant -- it didn't say if they'd had babies or even a medical diagnosis of pregnancy. Might just be that 1 in every 200 girls think missing a period = being pregnant.
 
2013-12-18 05:42:46 AM  

Ivo Shandor: Parthenogenesis is a real thing in some species, although there's no way for it to produce a male child in humans.


Chimera?

Sobekneferu: Might just be that 1 in every 200 girls think missing a period = being pregnant.


I'm going with 'noise' any time you try and measure something you have noise.  I used to work on a product where you had a vacuum chamber, sometimes you'd get negative absolute pressure readings.

In surveys you use statistical techniques to average out the noise, but end the end of the measured ranges, that DOESN"T WORK FOOLS.  So say you ask on a survey, do you approve of George Bush? Well some people are going to check the wrong box. But mostly that averages out. So you get a number 45% to 55% margin of error of .5% say.  However if you ask black people what they think you'll find only 5% approve of George Bush. That 5% is mostly because people marked the wrong farking box.
 
2013-12-18 05:45:40 AM  

Diego Dominguez: Let's be fair, men are pretty careless with their semen and I don't mean shooting irresponsible loads into women. If it's an empty room and a man has been there, chances are we left some DNA behind. Maybe one in 200 just sat in it by mistake. Seems legit.


So you're saying beware a man with a humidifier?
-J-
 
2013-12-18 05:46:02 AM  
A friend in college knew a girl who claimed a virgin pregnancy. Really religious, completely freaked out her fiance who was waiting for their wedding night.

Turned out she wasn't pregnant at all, but plenty crazy.
 
2013-12-18 06:26:09 AM  
They did something like this on an episode of House
 
2013-12-18 06:57:51 AM  

Jarod Cain: Diego Dominguez: Let's be fair, men are pretty careless with their semen and I don't mean shooting irresponsible loads into women. If it's an empty room and a man has been there, chances are we left some DNA behind. Maybe one in 200 just sat in it by mistake. Seems legit.

So you're saying beware a man with a humidifier?
-J-


beware the evil semen generators!
 
2013-12-18 07:14:29 AM  

Ishkur: Bennie Crabtree: In her book The Second Sex, Simone de Beauvoir cited reams of scientific reports about women getting pregnant without sex, including proximity. It is good see that mean are still not required for pregnancy even though the patriarchal scientific establishment insists that they are. Biology won't change just because your political will to power is all about using medicine for your wish fulfillment, boys!

If the Bible is to be believed, it is the first and probably only recorded case of human parthenogenesis, where embryos grow and develop without male fertilization. This has been observed in many species, including insects, birds, reptiles, crustaceans, and even some sharks, but there's no record of it ever occurring in mammals, and it always produces a half-clone that is always female so I think this theory can be safely ruled out for Jesus.


Not necessarily only females are produced by parthenogenesis.

In some species (only certain reptiles, IIRC) it produces only males because they use ZW instead of XY. ZW is female, so when the embryos are produced they get two Zs (male) or two Ws (usually a lethal chromosomal defect, but sometimes produces a WW female.)
 
2013-12-18 08:53:07 AM  

ghostfacekillahrabbit: "I think the question I get asked the most is, well I dunno know, it happens a lot, enough that I would remark on it - a lot of people come up to me and they say "Is it possible for a woman to get pregnant without intercourse?" My answer's always the same, I say: "Listen. We're gonna have to go all the way back to the civil war. Apparently a stray bullet actually pierced the testicle of a Union soldier and then lodged itself in the ovaries of an 18 year old girl who was actually 100 feet from him at the time. Well, the baby was fine. She was very happy. Guilt-free. Course, the soldier's a little pissed off. When ya think about it, it's actually a form of intercourse, but not for everyone. Those who love action, maybe."

-Tom Waits


Myth busted!
 
2013-12-18 09:15:49 AM  
I'm a male and I would like to report that I am pregnant and that I am a virgin.
 
2013-12-18 09:31:38 AM  
I note that the article talks about reports of pregnancies, rather than of births. I wonder how many of these cases can be chalked up to pseudocyesis, which shows symptoms so similar to pregnancy that it's often called "false pregnancy."
 
2013-12-18 09:55:26 AM  

Millennium: I note that the article talks about reports of pregnancies, rather than of births. I wonder how many of these cases can be chalked up to pseudocyesis, which shows symptoms so similar to pregnancy that it's often called "false pregnancy."


Serious mental illnesses also have an incidence higher than 0.5%
 
2013-12-18 09:57:15 AM  

TheMysteriousStranger: I'm a male and I would like to report that I am pregnant and that I am a virgin.


Is it a tumah?
 
2013-12-18 10:09:46 AM  
So you can get pregnant from buttseks?

/goodtoknow.jpg
 
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