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(CNN)   Carnival's court filing says the contract that passengers agree to when they buy a ticket "makes absolutely no guarantee for safe passage, a seaworthy vessel, adequate and wholesome food, and sanitary and safe living conditions"   (cnn.com) divider line 90
    More: Obvious, fairs, Carnival Cruise Lines, cruises  
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5430 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Dec 2013 at 12:40 AM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-17 08:52:13 PM  
If I win the Lotto tonight, I'm going to buy a full page ad in every newspaper with that quote at the top and "Enjoy Your Cruise!" across the bottom.
 
2013-12-17 09:26:51 PM  
And that is why I did not complete my online purchase of a cruise for my summer vacation.
 
2013-12-17 10:05:00 PM  
I really wish the US would tell Carnival to straighten up and fly right or they will pull their docking privileges.
 
2013-12-17 10:06:36 PM  
Holy shiat, they actually said that. In court.
 
2013-12-17 10:07:10 PM  
They bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash.
 
2013-12-17 10:07:48 PM  
INTERNATIONAL CRUISE LINE PASSENGER BILL OF RIGHTS

The Members of the Cruise Lines International Association are dedicated to the comfort and care of all passengers on oceangoing cruises throughout the world. To fulfill this commitment, our Members have agreed to adopt the following set of passenger rights:

1. The right to disembark a docked ship if essential provisions such as food, water, restroom facilities and access to medical care cannot adequately be provided onboard, subject only to the Master's concern for passenger safety and security and customs and immigration requirements of the port.

2. The right to a full refund for a trip that is canceled due to mechanical failures, or a partial refund for voyages that are terminated early due to those failures.

3. The right to have available on board ships operating beyond rivers or coastal waters full-time, professional emergency medical attention, as needed until shore side medical care becomes available.

4. The right to timely information updates as to any adjustments in the itinerary of the ship in the event of a mechanical failure or emergency, as well as timely updates of the status of efforts to address mechanical failures.

5. The right to a ship crew that is properly trained in emergency and evacuation procedures.

6. The right to an emergency power source in the case of a main generator failure.

7. The right to transportation to the ship's scheduled port of disembarkation or the passenger's home city in the event a cruise is terminated early due to mechanical failures.

8. The right to lodging if disembarkation and an overnight stay in an unscheduled port are required when a cruise is terminated early due to mechanical failures.

9. The right to have included on each cruise line's website a toll-free phone line that can be used for questions or information concerning any aspect of shipboard operations.

10. The right to have this Cruise Line Passenger Bill of Rights published on each line's website.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-12-17 10:11:33 PM  
So there is no implied warranty of merchantability for cruise ships?

At least SOLAS requires that they bring you back to shore.
 
2013-12-17 10:13:51 PM  
I thought this referred to carnival grocery stores. Still makes sense for the most part
 
2013-12-17 10:24:22 PM  

farkingismybusiness: They bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash.


We're done here.
 
2013-12-17 10:27:13 PM  

vpb: implied


That's what I'm wondering. I'm pretty sure it's those things are not only implied but required by law.
 
2013-12-17 10:31:35 PM  

i41.tinypic.com



"All aboard the S.S. Norovirus!" *TOOT* *TOOT*

 
2013-12-17 10:37:21 PM  
To add, all of the people I know who go on long cruises would be in great danger of 18th century whaling vessels. If we brought back whaling, we might be able to end the reign of terror these cruise lines have wrought on our high seas. Arrrr...
 
2013-12-17 10:40:57 PM  
Protip: avoid the Carnival Titanic Commemorative cruise
 
2013-12-17 11:04:53 PM  
Been on one Carnival cruise. Would never go again. I did like the Royal Caribbean trip we took though on Freedom of the Seas. Really nice boat (was brand new at the time), plenty to do, and we had a balcony which made all the difference.
 
2013-12-17 11:30:26 PM  
So who was the guy who wrote it?

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-12-18 12:46:53 AM  
But don't forget, private enterprise will get you Mars colonies. Oh wait, THAT'S gonna be different! Because computers got better and magic!
 
2013-12-18 12:47:49 AM  
I liked the idea of cruising.

Until I experienced it.

Took a Norweigan cruise from NYC to Bahamas, and Miami.

I mean, there were no disasters or anything, but the best I could describe it was "Like being on a floating Las Vegas, than you can't escape"

So, I'll likely never ever take a large cruise line again.

Perhaps, maybe a small type of cruise (30 people max) would have suited us better.
 
2013-12-18 12:48:26 AM  
Hopefully a judge looks at that and says "So what? Just because you put it in fine print doesn't mean it means anything."
 
2013-12-18 12:49:59 AM  
Then, one wonders, what DOES the contract guarantee, if anything? Because if it guarantees ANYTHING AT ALL, they should be strictly held to the letter of it, in any subsequent suits.
 
2013-12-18 12:50:42 AM  
11.  The right to bring your own booze, or at least buy a beer on board for less than $8.
 
2013-12-18 12:50:53 AM  
Goes back to my idea that you'd be better off chartering a yacht for what Carnival charges.
 
2013-12-18 12:52:39 AM  
If you take a cruise, you deserve this. I will never set foot on a cruise ship.
 
2013-12-18 12:53:32 AM  
You balance your world on the tip of your nose, you're a sea-lion with a ball at the carnival.
 
2013-12-18 12:53:33 AM  
I've been sailing in the Caribbean, where locals refer to them as "slave ships".

/They're being too kind.
/Caveat sailor.
 
2013-12-18 12:54:44 AM  
Bankruptcy filing in 3...2...1...
 
2013-12-18 12:55:43 AM  
They should argue that in court in front of a jury. No matter what the judge said I think we'd see 12 quick converts to jury nullification. Then they'd have to payoff the judge even more.
 
2013-12-18 01:00:06 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: But don't forget, private enterprise will get you Mars colonies. Oh wait, THAT'S gonna be different! Because computers got better and magic!


THIS
 
2013-12-18 01:00:06 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Then, one wonders, what DOES the contract guarantee, if anything? Because if it guarantees ANYTHING AT ALL, they should be strictly held to the letter of it, in any subsequent suits.


I suspect they're too smart for that.

Stories like this make people like me who are curious about taking a cruise (and have the money) stay the fark away.
 
2013-12-18 01:00:46 AM  
As someone who's been on more cruises than probably anyone you know, and spent nearly a year at sea while being a passenger on cruise ships - I've had largely positive experiences, and have almost at least one cruise planned each upcoming year. So far I've been on Disney, Carnival, Norwegian, Royal Carribean, Holland America. I'm

That said, not everything goes perfectly, all the time. Shiat happens.

-Experienced a ship that had a turbocharger on one of the two main engines grenade, sending large metal chunks into the engine and starting a sizable fire in the engine room. We were still 3 days out of San Diego from the South Pacific. It took about 20 minutes for the crew to extinguish the fire, as they evacuated all the crew decks. The ship was able to limp home with full operations though. Holland America.

-Had another ship get hit by lightening at both ends, simultaneously at 3am: frying 3/4ths of the navigation & communication gear, melting on-deck antennas, setting off every fire alarm on the ship and melting the fire alarm systems (the only way they were able to shut off the sirens was to use the captain's PA phone on the bridge, and leave it on). Royal Caribbean.

-Last December, became life-threateningly ill while on a 35 day cruise to the South Pacific. The ship's doc said I wouldn't survive the 6 day sail back to the USA, so they left me in Nuku Hiva with an agent to escort me back to Tahiti for hospital treatment. I can assure you, Tahiti's health care system isn't a place you want treatment. The cruise line was great though. Holland America.

I'm sure I could come up with plenty more, but overall, I think the experience is fun. My next cruise is a 12-day from Miami to Copenhagen this spring - by way of the Azores and London.

/have yet to experience a Norovirus cruise.
 
2013-12-18 01:01:37 AM  
Tuesday, a Carnival spokesperson stated, "If you want a cruise on a sea-worthy vessel, with sanitary conditions and edible food, you should join the Navy."
 
2013-12-18 01:03:29 AM  

vartian: Holy shiat, they actually said that. In court.


You know you need a better lawyer when...
 
2013-12-18 01:03:47 AM  
Aren't those the things that make a cruise a cruise? What exactly are they selling then?
 
2013-12-18 01:08:41 AM  
Aren't the conditions of carriage by sea governed by international convention, same as for carriage by air?
 
2013-12-18 01:09:37 AM  

vartian: Holy shiat, they actually said that. In court.


I, too, was hoping subby was exaggerating at least a little bit but no they really said it.
 
2013-12-18 01:10:20 AM  

MrSteve007: As someone who's been on more cruises than probably anyone you know, and spent nearly a year at sea while being a passenger on cruise ships - I've had largely positive experiences, and have almost at least one cruise planned each upcoming year. So far I've been on Disney, Carnival, Norwegian, Royal Carribean, Holland America. I'm

That said, not everything goes perfectly, all the time. Shiat happens.

-Experienced a ship that had a turbocharger on one of the two main engines grenade, sending large metal chunks into the engine and starting a sizable fire in the engine room. We were still 3 days out of San Diego from the South Pacific. It took about 20 minutes for the crew to extinguish the fire, as they evacuated all the crew decks. The ship was able to limp home with full operations though. Holland America.

-Had another ship get hit by lightening at both ends, simultaneously at 3am: frying 3/4ths of the navigation & communication gear, melting on-deck antennas, setting off every fire alarm on the ship and melting the fire alarm systems (the only way they were able to shut off the sirens was to use the captain's PA phone on the bridge, and leave it on). Royal Caribbean.

-Last December, became life-threateningly ill while on a 35 day cruise to the South Pacific. The ship's doc said I wouldn't survive the 6 day sail back to the USA, so they left me in Nuku Hiva with an agent to escort me back to Tahiti for hospital treatment. I can assure you, Tahiti's health care system isn't a place you want treatment. The cruise line was great though. Holland America.

I'm sure I could come up with plenty more, but overall, I think the experience is fun. My next cruise is a 12-day from Miami to Copenhagen this spring - by way of the Azores and London.

/have yet to experience a Norovirus cruise.


I've never taken a cruise before but I'm starting to consider something like that (taking a cruise every year). I'd like to become friends with you and learn more.
 
2013-12-18 01:13:14 AM  
So, is this an admission by the company that they don't really care about getting any more customers ever again, but they DO care about getting sued?
 
2013-12-18 01:14:31 AM  
Problem solved. Spend the whole voyage in an hazmat suit, knocking back tubes of beef stew and electrolyte enhanced water.
 
2013-12-18 01:15:40 AM  
OK, well, here's the Ticket contract:

http://www.carnival.com/about-carnival/legal-notice/ticket-contract. as px?icid=CC_Footer_84

and on a cursory reading, no, it does not in fact "guarantee" that the food will be edible, the ship will be seaworthy, or the water will be disease-free.

HOWEVER the rest of their site "guarantees" things like fresh food, safe ships, fun times and 110% money back guarantee.

Unless they've got Dan'l Webster arguing for them, they're probably screwed.
 
2013-12-18 01:17:20 AM  

dletter: If I win the Lotto tonight, I'm going to buy a full page ad in every newspaper with that quote at the top and "Enjoy Your Cruise!" across the bottom.


If I were Princess Cruise or one of Carnival's other competitors, you can bet your ass I'd have that copy ready to print right farkin' now.
 
2013-12-18 01:17:47 AM  
imageshack.us
 
2013-12-18 01:20:22 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Unless they've got Dan'l Webster arguing for them, they're probably screwed.


They can probably afford to hire him.
 
2013-12-18 01:21:01 AM  
Holy shiat, they really said that.

Have fun in Admiralty Court, idiots.  That filing literally just gave every person suing you grounds for summary judgement for full damages against you.
 
2013-12-18 01:21:25 AM  

you are a puppet: I've never taken a cruise before but I'm starting to consider something like that (taking a cruise every year). I'd like to become friends with you and learn more.


I keep a close eye on the TravelZoo Top 20 for good deals. Depending on what you're looking for (relaxation, itinerary, fun for kids), changes what type of cruise you want.

I like long (25-35) day cruises to remote locations, like the South Pacific or the Arctic Circle (my big trip this past summer). For that kind of itinerary, Holland America is the best.

For the cheapest cruises out there, the "repositioning" cruises are best; ie. starting from San Diego and ending up in Vancouver. If you're flexible on your vacation schedule, keep a close eye on last minute repositioning cruises. If a cruise (including taxes and fees) gets as cheap as $25-$40 a day, I pull the trigger.

Also, make sure to sign up for their 'frequent cruiser' / 'loyalty' programs. After a couple cruises, they can really start adding on the benefits. On most Holland America cruises I go on , I get free, unlimited dry cleaning (important on multi-week cruises), lots of free drinks, plus the 3rd and 4th people in my cabin cruise for free.
For the most part, if the price is right, I'll go on most any cruise. I do tend to shy away from Carnival though. Mostly because I don't like their food that much.
 
2013-12-18 01:26:02 AM  

tripleseven: Took a Norweigan cruise from NYC to Bahamas, and Miami.

I mean, there were no disasters or anything, but the best I could describe it was "Like being on a floating Las Vegas, than you can't escape"


I enjoyed my Norwegian cruise around the Hawaiian islands last year. It mostly sailed at night and spent the days in port, so there wasn't any feeling of being trapped on the ship.
 
2013-12-18 01:29:52 AM  

Russ1642: Hopefully a judge looks at that and says "So what? Just because you put it in fine print doesn't mean it means anything."


A judge where, though? That's the rub with cruise lines. Do you sue where the company is based? Where it's chartered? Where the events happened? It's a messy tangle of jurisdiction issues.

3.bp.blogspot.com

Read this if you want to know what happens when someone disappears during a cruise.
 
2013-12-18 01:31:44 AM  
First off if the damn fuel lines keep failing rip them out of every damn ship and replace them with ones that can handle what ever stresses caused the old ones to fail.

secondly i hope the judge and jury tell Carnival what to do with that bit of legalese on the tickets.
 
2013-12-18 01:36:25 AM  
I've never been, but my friend has been on a few Disney cruises and has only positive things to say. I've been trying to talk my SO into going on a seven day one to Mexico, but now...maybe just go to a neighbor island n call it good.
 
2013-12-18 01:42:30 AM  

fusillade762: A judge where, though? That's the rub with cruise lines. Do you sue where the company is based? Where it's chartered? Where the events happened? It's a messy tangle of jurisdiction issues.

 
If I'm bound by US laws that prohibit activities abroad that are otherwise legal there then I see no reason why it wouldn't apply to a company as well.
 
2013-12-18 01:45:33 AM  

MrSteve007: you are a puppet: I've never taken a cruise before but I'm starting to consider something like that (taking a cruise every year). I'd like to become friends with you and learn more.

I keep a close eye on the TravelZoo Top 20 for good deals. Depending on what you're looking for (relaxation, itinerary, fun for kids), changes what type of cruise you want.

I like long (25-35) day cruises to remote locations, like the South Pacific or the Arctic Circle (my big trip this past summer). For that kind of itinerary, Holland America is the best.

For the cheapest cruises out there, the "repositioning" cruises are best; ie. starting from San Diego and ending up in Vancouver. If you're flexible on your vacation schedule, keep a close eye on last minute repositioning cruises. If a cruise (including taxes and fees) gets as cheap as $25-$40 a day, I pull the trigger.

Also, make sure to sign up for their 'frequent cruiser' / 'loyalty' programs. After a couple cruises, they can really start adding on the benefits. On most Holland America cruises I go on , I get free, unlimited dry cleaning (important on multi-week cruises), lots of free drinks, plus the 3rd and 4th people in my cabin cruise for free.
For the most part, if the price is right, I'll go on most any cruise. I do tend to shy away from Carnival though. Mostly because I don't like their food that much.


Thanks. I'm going to try for a repositioning one sometime in 2014.
 
2013-12-18 01:52:59 AM  
In this country a contract is not valid if it is unconscionable.
 
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