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(Telegraph)   Not to alarm anyone, but Kim Jung Un's wife is nowhere to be found, and he's gained a bit of weight   (telegraph.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Followup, Kim Jong, Ri Sol, North Korean defectors, North Korean media, Asahi Shimbun  
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13147 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2013 at 6:09 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



144 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-12-17 05:07:07 PM  
Man you're not kidding. They've fattened him up good.
 
2013-12-17 05:15:14 PM  
Funny, just a few days ago there was a story that it was her calling the shots.
 
2013-12-17 05:23:54 PM  

ShawnDoc: Funny, just a few days ago there was a story that it was her calling the shots.


In North Korea, "calling the shots" is literally lining up people against the wall and having them shot.
 
2013-12-17 06:11:20 PM  
Someone should have explained to him what "eating her out" actually means.

/probably smelled fish and got carried away
 
2013-12-17 06:11:36 PM  
This happened a year or so ago, too, and she showed up a month later.
 
2013-12-17 06:12:35 PM  
Being in a relationship with that guy has got to be the riskiest behavior ever.
 
2013-12-17 06:14:30 PM  
Sounds like he's emulating his hero, Joffrey
 
2013-12-17 06:14:41 PM  
So she was... Un-eaten?
 
2013-12-17 06:16:31 PM  
I am totally digging the new Kim. I thought he was gonna be some lame-ass legacy, but he is BRINGING the dictator crazy lately. Beloved uncle? BAM, MOTHERFARKER, YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN', DIDJA?!

I eagerly await the miniature-giraffe cage fights on PPV.
 
2013-12-17 06:17:02 PM  
Surprised she hasn't given birth to little comrade bucket head yet.
 
2013-12-17 06:17:48 PM  

vernonFL: ShawnDoc: Funny, just a few days ago there was a story that it was her calling the shots.

In North Korea, "calling the shots" is literally lining up people against the wall and having them shot.


If rumors are to be believed, she did have one of his ex-girlfriends executed earlier this year.
 
2013-12-17 06:17:52 PM  
Man, when that state finally falls there are going to be some serious crimes against humanity discovered to have been going on there. What we know of is bad enough... I don't even want to think about what we probably don't know about.
 
2013-12-17 06:18:08 PM  
Holy. Fark.

Anyone read about the fate of her former orchestra?
 
2013-12-17 06:18:12 PM  

mbillips: I am totally digging the new Kim. I thought he was gonna be some lame-ass legacy, but he is BRINGING the dictator crazy lately. Beloved uncle? BAM, MOTHERFARKER, YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN', DIDJA?!

I eagerly await the miniature-giraffe cage fights on PPV.


Honestly, it's all fun to watch from a distance until he does something truly insane. Once that happens, we're involved and it won't be pretty.
 
2013-12-17 06:18:59 PM  
She's probably hanging out in the Scientology Technology base with Shelly Miscavige.
 
2013-12-17 06:19:55 PM  

sgnilward: Holy. Fark.

Anyone read about the fate of her former orchestra?


Shot 'em all.

In front of their families.
 
2013-12-17 06:21:03 PM  
In other news, he's married.
 
2013-12-17 06:22:12 PM  
Why does it refer repeatedly to the woman he had machine gunned as his former "mistress." Neither was married, apparently.

Un-believable nutcase, this guy.
 
2013-12-17 06:22:16 PM  
This asshole's like a real life Prince Joffrey, but without the badass grandfather to tell him to cut that sh*t out.
 
2013-12-17 06:23:11 PM  

Rev. Skarekroe: This asshole's like a real life Prince Joffrey, but without the badass grandfather to tell him to cut that sh*t out.


Well, his grandfather is still the President of the country.
 
2013-12-17 06:23:14 PM  
afluenza
 
2013-12-17 06:23:16 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: sgnilward: Holy. Fark.

Anyone read about the fate of her former orchestra?

Shot 'em all.

In front of their families.


I hope you're joking, but that is complete believable.
 
2013-12-17 06:24:13 PM  

pxlboy: In other news, he's married.


No... his wife is married. He's uncommitted.
 
2013-12-17 06:24:42 PM  

lockers: afluenza


Thread over Comrades thread over....

/just get a second "f" in there
 
2013-12-17 06:25:14 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: sgnilward: Holy. Fark.

Anyone read about the fate of her former orchestra?

Shot 'em all.

In front of their families.


"The following month, a Japanese newspaper, Asahi Shimbun, reported claims from a high-level North Korean defector that the Unhasu Orchestra members had been actually executed for making pornographic films."

Yes. That seems reeeeeal likely in North Korea.
 
2013-12-17 06:25:24 PM  

zamboni: pxlboy: In other news, he's married.

No... his wife is married. He's UN-committed.


FTFY
 
2013-12-17 06:26:03 PM  
I feel like the writers kind of lost their way last season, but this new season has really kicked it up a notch.

Also, wasn't there a rumor that part of Un's reason for killing his uncle was that the uncle had had an affair with Un's wife?
 
2013-12-17 06:26:37 PM  

sgnilward: Holy. Fark.

Anyone read about the fate of her former orchestra?


Wasn't that the orchestra of an ex of Kim Jong Un? Something about a tape getting out?
 
2013-12-17 06:27:25 PM  
Whatyabet she got caught farking the uncle and they publicly tried and executed him because he's a government official, but they disappeared her because she cuckolded the beloved leader?
 
2013-12-17 06:28:01 PM  

shower_in_my_socks: Also, wasn't there a rumor that part of Un's reason for killing his uncle was that the uncle had had an affair with Un's wife?


I think you're confusing North Korea with Scandal. Shouldn't be that hard to separate; Scandal at least tries to ground its plots in believability.
 
2013-12-17 06:28:16 PM  
Don't worry, he will just want another one in about 30 minutes.
 
2013-12-17 06:29:58 PM  
Wonder if anyone's checked Belize - maybe she's hanging with Mike?
 
2013-12-17 06:30:02 PM  
He's been know to eat a Little Debbie of two . . .
 
2013-12-17 06:30:03 PM  

scraping-fetus-off-the-wheel: Surprised she hasn't given birth to little comrade bucket head yet.


She did...moron.
 
2013-12-17 06:31:09 PM  

BigNumber12: Satanic_Hamster: sgnilward: Holy. Fark.

Anyone read about the fate of her former orchestra?

Shot 'em all.

In front of their families.

"The following month, a Japanese newspaper, Asahi Shimbun, reported claims from a high-level North Korean defector that the Unhasu Orchestra members had been actually executed for making pornographic films."

Yes. That seems reeeeeal likely in North Korea.


You should hear what the flautist claims she did this one time at Orchestra Death Camp.
 
2013-12-17 06:31:17 PM  
Am I the only one that remembers a story back in the late summer about him having her and her orchestra executed for the whole 'making pornography' thing?  I swear I'm taking crazy pills here.
 
2013-12-17 06:31:19 PM  

ShawnDoc: Funny, just a few days ago there was a story that it was her calling the shots.


That may be why she is now MIA. The guy is paranoid about anyone that may be plotting to take the throne.
 
2013-12-17 06:31:19 PM  

tripleseven: scraping-fetus-off-the-wheel: Surprised she hasn't given birth to little comrade bucket head yet.

She did...moron.


That's a weird name for a baby, but okay.  Hope all goes well for Kim Mor-On.
 
2013-12-17 06:32:18 PM  
Absolute power... Is awesome
 
2013-12-17 06:32:21 PM  

DerAppie: sgnilward: Holy. Fark.

Anyone read about the fate of her former orchestra?

Wasn't that the orchestra of an ex of Kim Jong Un? Something about a tape getting out?


It's in the article, near the end.

This has got to be the weirdest and most insane dystopia in the history of ever
 
2013-12-17 06:33:18 PM  

zamboni: pxlboy: In other news, he's married.

No... his wife is married. He's uncommitted.


He should be. And then lobotomized.
 
2013-12-17 06:33:30 PM  

sgnilward: This has got to be the weirdest and most insane dystopia in the history of ever


Nothing is ever going to be weirder than watching the footage of North Koreans crying at the death of Kim Il Sung. It's seriously the weirdest, most insanely dystopic thing that will ever happen. Game over, they win.
 
2013-12-17 06:35:54 PM  
She's not dead, she's on a farm, out in the country... where she can run free.
 
2013-12-17 06:36:43 PM  

DamnYankees: sgnilward: This has got to be the weirdest and most insane dystopia in the history of ever

Nothing is ever going to be weirder than watching the footage of North Koreans crying at the death of Kim Il Sung. It's seriously the weirdest, most insanely dystopic thing that will ever happen. Game over, they win.


Agreed.

Link for the lazy
 
2013-12-17 06:39:37 PM  
shower_in_my_socks:
Also, wasn't there a rumor that part of Un's reason for killing his uncle was that the uncle had had an affair with Un's wife?


Yes, but it seems more believable that the Uncle was getting more popular, plotting his own coup, or being annoying with his advice about opening up the country to more Chinese-style reforms and Un needed to get rid of the guy.

This guy survived decades in the Kim inner circle - why would he screw around with Un's wife?
 
2013-12-17 06:42:17 PM  

DamnYankees: sgnilward: This has got to be the weirdest and most insane dystopia in the history of ever

Nothing is ever going to be weirder than watching the footage of North Koreans crying at the death of Kim Il Sung. It's seriously the weirdest, most insanely dystopic thing that will ever happen. Game over, they win.


There was an HBO documentary ( I think)
Where some eye doctor went to nk and fixed a whole bunch of peoples cataracts. Upn removing their eye patches the first thing they saw was a painting of "dear leader" who they then fell to their knees in worship of and thanked dear leader for returning their sight .

Unreal.
 
2013-12-17 06:44:24 PM  
I'd go all red brigade on that ass. what's his problem?
i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2013-12-17 06:45:04 PM  
Someday when the Kim dynasty falls, there is gonna be an interesting movie about the very unsavory details of their lives - kind of like this flick:

mastershots.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-17 06:46:28 PM  
So, theoretically, when certain Tea Party types say they hate the UN, they may actually mean the leader of North Korea?
 
2013-12-17 06:50:26 PM  
www.gloriousmind.com
 
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